


Missing Eyesight

by AnonymousJackalope



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Architects, Baby Yugyeom, Counselor Choi Youngjae, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Family, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Fluff, High School, Implied Mpreg, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Jackson Wang going above and beyond, Light Angst, Little brother Mark, Loss of Control, Lost JB, Lost Mark, M/M, Manipulation, Melodrama, Misunderstanding, Musicians, Past Relationship(s), References to Drugs, Selfless Bam Bam, Slice of Life, Song Lyrics, Swearing, Team as Family, Work In Progress, sad jb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2019-08-06 00:57:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 95,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16378352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymousJackalope/pseuds/AnonymousJackalope
Summary: So far, JB and Jinyoung have been happily married with two sons, but things begin to change when old feelings resurface after Jinyoung and Mark finish a project together. Will everything stay the same, or will strong relationships weaken and change?





	1. Episode 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to Missing Eyesight!! This is written in a format that copies how a drama would play out (different scenes etc.). I hope you enjoy it!

**Scene 1 - Monday Morning**

Monday morning and JB once again wakes up in bed without Jinyoung beside him, only today he doesn’t pause. He immediately goes to knock on the boys bedroom door.

“Bam Bam? Yugyeom? You’ve got ten minutes, you hear me?” As usual, there’s no immediate answer, but instead sluggish movement from inside. 

After a short wait, Yugyeom’s soft voice travels out in reply, “Yeah.”

The sound of his son’s sleepy morning voice makes JB smile as he heads downstairs to the kitchen. He instantly reaches for the ingredients to make his favourite avocado and cucumber smoothie, and as he pours himself a glass, he can hear the first set of footsteps coming down to meet him. Turning, he sees a grumpy Bam Bam.

“Did you manage to finish it?” JB asks, watching his eldest grab a glass of water. He shakes his head without saying a word. Bam Bam was always the quietest in the morning, but today it seemed like he was more frustrated; he’d been stressing about his geography test for awhile now and his practice exams hadn’t been going very well either. Before JB can form a comforting reply, Yugyeom skips downstairs a beat later, with a more optimistic attitude, grabbing the leftovers of of JB’s smoothie for himself. 

JB turns his attention to his youngest. “And you,” he asks with a raised eyebrow. 

Yugyeom shrugs,  “If I fail, I fail. I’ve worked my hardest and that’s really all I can do.”

JB smiles brightly and ruffles Yugyeom’s hair. “You’re right and I’m proud of you. Both of you.” He reaches out and knocks Bam Bam’s cheek, “Whatever happens.”

Bam Bam nods, a little more enthusiastic, and reaches for a grape from the fruit bowl. JB, in turn, takes out some eggs, preparing to make omelets for their breakfast. Yugyeom and Bam Bam both sit down to watch him. 

“So,” Yugyeom pipes up, “where’s dad?” 

 

**End Scene**

 

**Scene 2 - White Shirts**

Jinyoung wakes up at a table with pain in his shoulders. He turns his head groggily from side to side, before catching a glimpse of red hair. He tries to move, but by doing so, the hair parts and he can see Mark’s sleeping face. He’s fast asleep on Jinyoung’s arm.

Mark’s eyelashes appear frozen and Jinyoung holds his breath as not to disturb him. Staring intently, he notices Mark’s skin glows pale in the light; his white shirt hangs more to his right shoulder and partially shows off his collarbone and a bit of his chest. He snuggles closer to Jinyoung in his sleep and Jinyoung finds himself moving to make him comfortable. Looking around, Jinyoung’s eyes land on the clock. That’s what makes him jolt in surprise. Mark’s head lifts straight away, eyes lost before settling on Jinyoung, who he flashes a lazy smile, yawning. 

“Morning.” His voice is far deeper than usual though Jinyoung fails to notice. More awake and more alarmed, Jinyoung clenches his fists open and closed, disoriented. 

“Did we fall asleep,” he asks. “Together?”

Mark shrugs and stretches his arms out in front of Jinyoung, who moves back to get out of the way.

“I was supposed to be home hours ago. Bam-”

“I’m sure my brother will understand. It’s work stuff.”

Jinyoung looks around the kitchen, not overly calmed by Mark’s words and reaches for his sweater on the back of the chair.

“I have to go back.”

Mark yawns again. “That’s fine, we managed to finish everything anyway.” He motions towards the notebook on the table and within it is a fully finished design, along with a completed list of materials. He stands with one final stretch and Jinyoung looks up at him with an apologetic smile.

“I’m glad I could help, but I really have to go.”

“Don’t worry about it. Tell my brother and the kids I said, hi”.

 

**End Scene**

 

**Scene 3 - End of Day Lunch**

JB looks up just as Jackson returns with one beer and a glass of wine for him.

“I can’t believe you made me get up and buy red wine for you. They thought I was with my wife.”

JB smiles in thanks and takes it from him. “And what did you say?”

“I said I was with my mistress,” he replies sarcastically. “What  **_could_ ** I say?”

JB laughs and their conversation settles into silence as they both take sips from their drinks, but soon Jackson disturbs the peace, no longer able to stand it.

“So, the food’s going to be here soon.”

“Oh,” JB answers. “Good.”

There’s another long pause, where JB looks completely content drinking his wine but Jackson...Jackson does not.

“Dude, you got so boring after you had kids.”

JB smiles, eyes crinkling. “That’s not true.”

“It’s completely true. You’re drinking  _ wine _ .”

JB shrugs, “It’s classy.”

“ _ It’s classy, _ he says.” 

“It is.” 

Jackson ignores his answer. “It’s either that or something’s going on.” 

JB chuckles softly. “Nothing’s going on.” 

“Yes there is, and you better hurry up and tell me before the food gets here... or at least before Youngjae gets here, ‘cause you know when Youngjae gets here you can’t stop talking about your kids.” 

JB actually laughs aloud. “What have you got against my kids?!”

“Nothing. They’re beautiful. Amazing, but they aren’t what’s important right now. You are.” JB just sips his drink, amused, so Jackson has no choice but to carry on. “How’s Jinyoung?” 

JB’s smile disappears slowly and he takes another, rather long, drink of his wine. “He’s picking up the kids.”

Jackson raises an eyebrow, his voice sarcastic. “Is he?”

“He worked late last night and I had work today, so he said he’d pick them up.”

“That’s not what I’m asking about.”

JB’s face is impassive. “Then I don’t know what you’re asking about.” 

“JB-”

“And whatever it is, I don’t  **want** you to ask about it.”

“Sorry I’m late.” A voice interrupts them and Youngjae arrives from behind, cutting off any argument Jackson might have had. “Did you guys order already?”

JB nods. “Yeah, I have to be home early.”

“He doesn’t.” Jackson leans back in his chair, all seriousness leaving his voice. “But he seems to think that he does.”

“No, I do. Bam and Yugyeom had their tests today. I want to see how it went.”

Youngjae’s eyes widen in surprise. “Was that today? I got them something, maybe I’ll come back with you after.” Jackson rolls his eyes at this exchange but Youngjae notices and pokes a finger at him. “Don’t be like this! Have some kids of your own and then come back to us to complain.”

Jackson gives Youngjae a knowing look. “What kids? What kids are you talking about?

JB smiles knowingly as well. “Exactly.”

Youngjae’s mouth opens and closes, at a loss for words between the both of them.

“How is...was it Amanda?” JB teases.

Jackson chimes in as well, “She’s English this time. I feel like she was English.”

“Or was it, Victoria?”

Youngjae backtracks and looks around to order. Not able to find anyone, he stands up instead. He points in a direction away from their table. “Do you have to order up there? No-one’s coming over and I really want some soup. It’s cold outside…” He walks away while both Jackson and JB shake their heads disapprovingly.

“Seriously though,” Jackson starts again, “JaeBum-”

“No, Jackson-”

Jackson leans forward, desperation on his face, “Hear me out. I’ve known you for a long time and I know when something’s bothering you. You didn’t eat today, that’s why I dragged you here. You haven’t been eating much lately, and you only get like that on a project.”

JB tries to blow it off, “I forget to eat sometimes, it’s no big deal-”

“But it’s like you avoid eating altogether, plus, I haven’t seen Jinyoung with you or the kids for a while. What else can I do but assume it has something to do with him not being around?”

“He’s just working. Him and Mark... they’re working.”

Jackson makes a face of disbelief. “Course they are.”

JB sets down his glass and stares into Jackson’s eyes, his gaze serious. “All this means is that I haven’t been feeling well recently. Nothing else. Don’t put ridiculous ideas in my head because there’s no reason for me to believe them. You may be insecure but I’m not. I’m fine, and Jinyoung and I are fine, you got that?” He glares at Jackson for a second longer before his eyes soften and he relaxes into his chair once again. His voice becomes far more amiable. “I promise, everything's fine. How do you know I don’t want to go home early just to see him?”

Jackson looks away and shrugs his shoulders, rolling the beer bottle in his hands. “Do you,” he asks.

JB doesn’t answer and instead shrugs his shoulders jokingly, finishing off his last bit of wine. 

Jackson nods; he doesn’t need to know the answer to his question, so he finishes his drink off as well instead of waiting for an answer. Youngjae returns, his own drink in hand and the conversation turns to less significant things, but he can’t fully involve himself in it. 

Of course JB would want to see Jinyoung, Jackson knew how they felt about each other, but he couldn’t help feeling like something else was going on and he would definitely get to the bottom of it...soon.

 

**End Scene**

 

**Scene 4 - I’ve been Home**

Returning home, JB can see the kitchen light has been left on. He opens the front door, trying to stay quiet. There was a chance Bam Bam and Yugyeom were still awake and if they were, he wanted to surprise them. They’d argue about why they weren’t in bed, someone would convince JB to play a round of video games before they all finally decided to head to bed. 

He creeps around the corner to get a good look, and does not expect a silent Jinyoung to be sitting at the kitchen island waiting for him. He doesn’t look up as JB steps silently into the room; he’s far too engrossed in his notepad and whatever he happens to be drawing. Coming closer and looking over his shoulder, JB watches Jinyoung’s hand move across the page, shaping what appears to be the outlines of a face, though, who’s face, he can’t tell.

Jinyoung’s attentive voice startles him, “You’re home late.”

JB sits down next to him, eyes still on the drawing. “I’m actually early.”

“I was waiting for you.”

JB looks up from the drawing at Jinyoung’s face, surprised. “And I’ve been waiting for you. Where have you been?”

“I’ve been home.” 

“You know that’s not what I mean.”

Jinyoung sighs and his hand stops moving. “I’ve been working with Mark, you know that.”

“I do know that, but Bam and Yugyeom had their tests today. You know you’re the better person to help them out.”

Jinyoung curses himself inwardly but doesn’t say anything aloud. “I’m sure they both did fine.” 

The answer doesn’t make JB any happier and his voice comes out more stern than usual. “You know that’s not the point.”

“Well, what do you want me to do? Quit my job?”

“No, but you’re never here. You haven’t been for weeks. If you were here more, maybe Bam wouldn’t have been so stressed-”

“You know I’ve been working. You know how important this project is.”

JB slams his hand against the table. “But is it more important than your family?” He leans in close, making sure Jinyoung can hear him. “You’ve always made time for us before, what’s different now?”

Jinyoung sighs again, eyes staring at JB’s hand. “Nothing.”

“Yugyeom is always asking where you are. Don’t you know that they miss you? Don’t you know that I…” JB drifts off and Jinyoung finally looks up at him causing JB’s eyes to soften and wander.  
“That you what?” Jinyoung asks, eager for an answer.

JB prolongs his reply by rubbing his eyes. “Nothing. I, nothing. This isn’t about me.”

Jinyoung stares at JB and recognises the loneliness emanating from him. He inwardly berates himself for being so blind and takes JB’s hand tenderly, removing it away from his face, and holds it. “Why isn’t it about you,” he asks, voice soft. JB shakes his head and tries to pull away but Jinyoung hangs on to him. He attempts a smile. “I know you’re always putting them before yourself. It’s one of the things I both love and hate about you.”

Despite his anger, a soft touch always appeased JB when he was angry. He’d realise he was being too forceful and try to make himself more amicable to remedy any situation. A smile is better than a mean look and he attempts to make one. Jinyoung smiles wider at his effort, tension too leaving his own voice.

“I’m supposed to be here aren’t I?” He speaks more to himself than he does to JB, “To remind you to take care of yourself.”

JB stays silent; rather than telling him to take care of himself, he wanted Jinyoung there to take care of him, but he could never say that aloud. Instead he lets Jinyoung continue on.

“I’ll be here,” he whispers. He continues to stroke JB’s hand. “We’ve finished our project proposal so I’ll be here more, I promise.” JB watches wordlessly as Jinyoung lifts his hand up to his lips for a kiss, pausing there to stare at his hand before clasping both palms together.

It was supposed to comfort JB, he knew it, but he couldn’t be completely accepting. He wanted to be, but at the back of his mind were Jackson’s prevailing words, and the bothersome image of Mark and Jinyoung together. 

 

**End Scene**

  
  
  



	2. Episode 2

**Scene 1 - Noraebang (Karaoke)**

The week passes more smoothly than previous, and Jinyoung sticks around making both Yugyeom and Bam Bam more happy. He even takes the time out to sit with them and go over the questions they’d been worried about during their tests. It may have been too late, but JB found it sweet; in Jinyoung’s mind, he knew, it could never be too late to learn, and there would be other tests.

Jinyoung also made sure JB was taking care of himself, and, just like he used too, he left little snacks around, to remind him to eat when he got too busy. Despite this, there was still an empty space between them from all those times he’d been absent and Jinyoung eagerly wanted to fix this. That’s why, today, he managed to convince JB to skip work and instead spend time with him.

Unbeknownst to them, Bam Bam and Yugyeom had also done the same thing with school. Instead of attending, they skip out and head to Karaoke instead. Bam Bam was now “destroying” Big Bang’s Fantastic Baby, while Yugyeom watched his hilarious performance.

“You’re gonna break the machine,” he shouts over the loud music.

Bam Bam comes away from the microphone cocky. “My score will be great, watch.”

They both stare at the screen expectantly as the numbers tally up. The top score changes, and with finality, it lands on 62. 

Bam Bam yells out in victory. “Yes!!!! Ha!” 

Yugyeom’s laughter is uncontrollable. “That’s amazing. I’m actually super proud of you.”

Bam Bam raises a cheeky eyebrow and winks. “You should be.” He grabs a can of coke for them both and they take a break on the couch.

Yugyeom takes a sip. “I’m glad Daddy Jinyoung’s back now.” 

“What do you mean, back?” Bam Bam looks at him confused, “Where did he go?”

“Have you not been paying attention? He’s been working all the time.”

Bam Bam raises his head. “Oh yeah. Well, it was work. And he was with Uncle Mark anyway. What’s the big deal?”

“Haven’t you seen how lonely Daddy JB’s been at home?”

Bam Bam grabs an M&M and gives a dead pan reply. “No.”

Yugyeom shoves him off the couch. “You’re unbelievable.”

“No, I’m not. They’re fine.” He gets comfortable on the floor instead of getting up. “They’ve always been fine. You’re worrying about nothing and being overly sensitive, as usual. Now are you going to sing or what?”

Yugyeom stands up and grabs the mic, kicking Bam Bam on the way and pouting as he looks for a song. Chris Brown pops into the line-up. “I just wanted them to be together again, at least before Daddy JB’s birthday.”

Bam Bam jumps up off the floor in surprise. “Shit, yeah, his birthday.”

Yugyeom turns around warily. His voice tight. “What about his birthday?”

Bam Bam puts his hands up in surrender. “I’m so sorry. I completely forgot what we were doing for it.”

The mic falls loose in Yugyeom’s hand. “What do you mean you forgot?!”

Bam Bam makes an embarrassed and apologetic face.

“You mean you haven’t gotten any of the stuff you were supposed to get!?”

Bam Bam looks at him, lost. “Was I supposed to get stuff?”

Yugyeom’s voice is nearing shrill, “Why are we even at Karaoke?! We need to go, now!” Yugyeom places the microphone back in the stand and grabs his bag, at the same time hitting his brother on the shoulder. Bam Bam hits him back and they both head for the door. They open it in a rush but find themselves bumping into someone unexpected; their godfather, Youngjae. Youngjae is just as surprised to see them, but tries to hide it as he is currently in female company. 

Yugyeom cries out to explain, “Uncle-” but Youngjae reacts quickly and covers his mouth. Looking at his date, he laughs to cover up Yugyeom’s words. “These kids! Not even apologising when they knock into their elders! I’ll have to speak to them.” For good measure, he grabs Bam Bam by the ear, which makes him promptly yell out in pain rather overdramatically. 

Youngjae ignores him. “You go ahead and start singing.” He tells her. “I’ll join you later.” His date gives him a weird look but smiles and heads away on long legs. With regret, Youngjae turns his attention back to the kids and gives a good yank on Bam Bam’s ear.

“What the hell are you two doing out of school?!” he shouts, albeit as quietly as possible.

“And what the hell are you doing at a karaoke bar?!” Bam replies in pain.

Youngjae tightens his grip on Bam Bam’s ear to shut him up and instead focuses his attentions on Yugyeom. He uncovers the hand keeping the youngest silent and waits for an explanation.

“We needed to get stuff for Daddy JB’s birthday.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Yugyeom looks at Bam Bam in annoyance and makes like he’s going to hit him. “This idiot forgot about it and now we have to buy everything before tomorrow.”

Youngjae looks between them both, finding it hard to stay angry; not because he doesn’t care about them skipping school, but because he’s overly conscious of the fact that he’s left his female company alone. After a seconds silence, he makes a decision.

“Look, whatever it is you have to get, text it to me and I’ll get it for you. You both, get your asses back to school and I won’t tell JB you were here. Got it?” He looks pointedly from Yugyeom to Bam Bam and the two nod…or Bam Bam nods as much as he can. “And don’t call me Uncle again.” He adds. “It’s YJ in public, yeah?”

Yugyeom tries to hold back a laugh. “Alright... YJ.”

Youngjae nods, appreciative. “Good. Now get back to school.”

Youngjae lets them both go and poor Bam Bam falls to the floor. Yugyeom has to help him up as they head off. Bam Bam rubs his ear and, out of contempt, can’t help shouting back, “Have fun with your girl!”

         Bam Bam snickers as both boys run off and Youngjae can’t help but smile after them, whispering to himself, “Oh, I will.”  

**End Scene**

 

**Scene 2 - He’s here with you**

JB calling in sick forced Jackson to visit his house to pick up some unfinished work. It didn’t necessarily help that when he showed up to the house, he could see JB and Jinyoung together having a good time. Partially offended, he uses the key JB gave him to give them both a good surprise.

As the door opens, he calls out in a dramatic fashion, “Oh yeah, I can see that you’re really unwell. It’s critical. My worry was for good reason.”

Jinyoung spins around, shocked, while JB simply turns his head, recognises Jackson and smiles, mildly embarrassed at being caught. Jackson catches his cute toothy grin and tries not to smile himself.

Jinyoung isn’t as easily satisfied. “How did you get in?”

Jackson raises the key in his hand and points it in JB’s direction. Jinyoung looks between them both, playfully suspicious, but JB waves it off. He turns his attention to Jackson. “What’s up?”

“I came for our files. Since you’ve caught this unbelievable illness and couldn’t bear to leave the house, I had to come and get them.”

JB laughs, despite of himself, and keeps shaking his head. “Their in the office. Give me a sec.”

Jinyoung, now more calm, watches JB leave before turning to Jackson with a lighthearted and repentful smile. “Don’t be too hard on him, I asked him to stay with me.”

Jackson nods with high eyebrows. “That’s good and everything, but now I have to do all of his work for him. So thanks for thinking of me.”

Jinyoung cuddles up to him and gives a comical pout. “Thank you.”

Jackson jerks back in fake disgust. “Stop. Please. I don’t need your gratitude in this way.”

Jinyoung laughs as JB returns with a file and passes it to Jackson, an atoning look on his face. “I’m sorry, okay?”

Jackson shrugs. “No big deal.”

JB smiles, his hand going to find Jinyoung’s instantly. It was for Jackson’s benefit, to see their fingers entwined, so he understood what the disappearance from work meant but all Jackson wanted was to look away. Guiltily, he found himself wishing for the days when Jinyoung was absent to come back, but he shook those thoughts away quickly. He had to leave.

“So, I’ve got everything I need. You keep taking care of the patient and I’ll just go-” Before he can leave however, the door bursts open and Yugyeom and Bam Bam burst in. As soon as they lay eyes on Jackson, they tackle him, rooting him to the floor. Jinyoung and JB look on and laugh.

“Hey, Ahjussi!” Bam Bam calls out.

Jackson stares at the kid, eyes large and provoked, “I know you did not just call me old?”

“You’re the same age as Daddy JB.” Yugyeom chimes in, a cheeky look in Daddy JB’s direction.

JB  takes the bait, “Are you calling me old now? Come here!” He grabs Yugyeom and they themselves begin to tussle while Jinyoung continues to look on amused. After sometime under JB’s arm, Yugyeom manages to come up for air and escape to the kitchen.

“What’s everyone doing home,” he asks. JB only smiles while Jinyoung shrugs.

Jackson answers instead, “You’re dad seems to be severely unwell.”

Yugyeom turns to his dad, now concerned. “Really?” He reaches for his father’s forehead but JB grabs his hand and shakes his head.

Bam Bam smiles slily. “Dad’s playing hooky.”

Jinyoung makes to hit his son this time only to start the cycle all over again. Jackson however manages to stay free and steps back towards the door, getting a full view of the entire family. 

Seeing them all, they look perfectly normal; annoyingly normal, and as close as ever. JB even looks much better than he had at work for the last week. Jackson had been expecting to find him...well, it didn’t matter. He smiles to himself, content at least to find JB smiling with his family. He gives a silent wave and opens the door, letting himself out.

Bam Bam, finally escaping from Daddy Jinyoung, looks towards the empty space where Jackson used to be. “Did the Ahjussi leave?” 

Yugyeom looks up as well. “Aw no, I wanted him to hang out with us.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Jinyoung replies, leaning against the kitchen counter. “He just hates seeing us altogether in one place, that’s all. He’s repelled by happiness.” JB hits Jinyoung on the shoulder, before moving over the couch, not two steps away. Their kitchen was right next to the living room.

“Don’t worry, you’ll see him later. Why don’t we all watch a movie?”

Bam Bam runs and jumps onto the couch next to him. “Sick. What are we watching?”

Yugyeom joins them as well and picks up the remote to start flicking through Netflix until he finds ‘Baby Driver’.

JB instantly rolls his eyes. “We always watch this.”

Bam Bam shrugs his shoulders. “Because it’s so good!”

After Yugyeom presses play, the boys settle down next to each other and Jinyoung comes up behind JB, leaning all his weight over him on the couch. JB can’t help but smile and relax.

**End Scene**

 

**Scene 3: I need to talk to you**

JB wakes up early the next morning and rolls to his side to look at Jinyoung’s still form lying next to him. He allows himself to smile; he’d missed seeing him like this. On the mornings JB woke up first, he could appreciate the warmth next to him. It made him feel lucky.

Jinyoung opens his eyes slowly after a while and finds JB looking at him. He laughs lazily in his sleep. “Caught you.” He moves closer as JB turns away to face the ceiling, allowing them to be wrapped up in each other; one awake and the other asleep. 

“It’s too warm for this.” JB sighs, pretending to complain but Jinyoung only yawns.

“...Don’t care.”

JB smiles to himself and places one hand behind his head and the other on the hand Jinyoung has surrounding him. They lay in silence for a while, until they hear the muffled sounds of footsteps from upstairs rushing past their door. 

Jinyoung furrows his eyebrows, eyes remaining closed. “Where are they going?”

JB looks above him, just as confused. “No idea. They didn’t tell me anything.”

Neither of them move, only listening for more sounds only to start hearing subtle banging emanating from the kitchen. Jinyoung sits up and ruffles his hair, sighing.

“I told them I’d make breakfast today. They must not have been able to wait.” 

JB laughs. “Well, you better go downstairs.”

Jinyoung grabs hold of JB’s hand weakly and swings it. “Come with me.”

Teasingly, JB doesn’t move from his comfortable place on the bed. “And why should I?”

Jinyoung’s reply is childish. “They scare me.”

JB laughs aloud now, unable to contain himself. He rises off the bed just to push Jinyoung away. He falls backwards and his shirt rides up, revealing a patch of abs defined on his stomach. 

He gives JB a derpy smile and JB has to take a deep breath to speak. “Get up right now.”

Jinyoung acts oblivious. “Why?”

“Because I told you too.”

Jinyoung raises a cheeky eyebrow. “No special reason?”

JB looks away from him, searching the ceiling for help. “I don’t want those kids destroying my kitchen, that’s why. Now hurry up.”

JB grabs a pillow and quickly throws it at Jinyoung, but more awake, he reacts fast and sits up to catch it. He blows JB a kiss and, with commendable effort, JB hastily leaves the room. Jinyoung follows behind him soon after, laughing.

“Wait for me,” he cries out, but JB has no patience for him.

“I really don’t want too.”

They race down the stairs, only to find both Bam Bam and Yugyeom frozen. There’s one backpack held between them. 

JB is immediately suspicious. “What’s going on?”

Bam Bam sends his brother a desperate look, but both JB and Jinyoung know that Yugyeom is by far the worst liar.

“We have... a study session.” He manages to get out.

Jinyoung raises an interested eyebrow. “Really?”

Yugyeom turns to them, bluffing more confidence now that he has something to build off of. “Yeah. I’m going to help Bam with his Geography and he’s going to help me with History.”

Bam Bam sends him a look of disbelief and snatches the backpack away. His teeth are clenched when he speaks. “Yeah. Studying. We were just grabbing something to eat to take with us.”

Jinyoung pretends to look hurt. “But I said I was going to make breakfast for you.”

“Sorry.” Yugyeom gives him the most innocent of faces. “We completely forgot.”

“You forgot you were going to study?”

Yugyeom nods. “Uh-huh.”

Jinyoung turns to JB, signaling that it’s his turn to parent. He takes the metaphorical baton. “Well, let’s see what you took.” He takes a couple steps forward, but the boys step back, almost tripping over themselves.

“You can’t!” Yugyeom shouts.

JB looks over at Jinyoung and they both try to hide their smiles. “And why not,” he asks. “I’m the one that does the shopping around here. Shouldn’t I at least know what you took so I can get more of it?”

Yugyeom, all out of ideas, looks towards Bam Bam instead. Bam himself starts to panic and its clear he shouts out the first thing that comes to mind. 

“It’s drugs!”

Jinyoung has to turn his entire body to hide the fact that he’s laughing. JB forces himself to keep a straight face. “Drugs?”

“Yeah,” Bam Bam sticks to his story, “We need them to study. They help us focus.”

JB, losing the will, folds his arms. “And where, exactly, did you get drugs from?”

“...Uncle- YJ!” Yugyeom shouts. Now Bam Bam has to stop himself from laughing.

On the other hand, JB raises his eyebrows in alarm and Jinyoung stops laughing long enough to turn around. “YJ?”

“Yeah, he said they would help us concentrate.” 

The two boys look at each other and nod, encouraging each other along as they continue walking backwards towards the door.

“Yeah, Yeah. They even make us want to study. It’s an addiction.”

“A really bad one.,” Yugyeom adds.

They grab their keys from the windowsill as the dad’s follow them towards the door.

“So yeah, we really have to go.” Bam Bam smiles at JB, knowing that he’s the far more forgiving father. “We wanted to be there for when the library opened, but we got up late.”

“Yeah, wouldn’t want to miss out on anymore study time.”

“So, see you tonight!”

With that, they quickly turn around and open the door, sprinting down off the driveway and out of sight. As they disappear, both Jinyoung and JB burst into laughter.

“You raised such bad liars.”

“Me?” JB holds his chest in shock. “How did I? And, more importantly, why is that a bad thing?”

Before Jinyoung can answer, his phone rings and he lifts it up while telling JB to wait as he answers. 

“Hello?”

“Jinyoung?” It’s Mark and Jinyoung can hear the apprehension in his voice.  

“Yeah, what’s the problem?”

Mark speaks fast, voice unnerved, “I need to talk to you. I need help.”

“Slow down.”

“It’s an emergency, how fast can you get here?”

Jinyoung steps away from the room and JB watches him leave with curious eyes. It looks important, so to distract himself, he goes into the kitchen to make him and Jinyoung breakfast. He decides on something simple; soybean soup and rice. 

He’s only just started when Jinyoung runs upstairs without glancing at him.

“Jinyoung?”

There’s no reply, even as JB follows him up the stairs. Entering their room, he finds Jinyoung already dressed in jeans and a plain blue shirt, grabbing his bag and jacket. Turning to the door, Jinyoung finally fixes eyes on him, his face, apologetic.

“I’m so sorry, but I have to go out for a second.”

“Why? What’s wrong?”

Jinyoung tries to pass it off. “It’s work stuff. We’re missing something from our proposal. It has to be in today but if I had any other choice, I wouldn’t go.”

JB shakes his head, “No, no, I understand. Go.”

Jinyoung smiles apologetically again and kisses JB on the cheek as he passes him to run down the stairs.

“I’ll be back soon, I promise!” he calls out. JB hears the door open and shut before he’s left with the echoes of an empty house.

“I guess I’ll be having breakfast alone on my birthday,” he whispers.

**End Scene**

 

**Scene** **4 - The Boys**

The boys run all the way to the bus stop where they collapse out of breath on the bench.

“Studying?!” Bam Bam cries, looking at his brother.

“Drugs!?”

“You’re such a shitty liar, it threw me off.”

Yugyeom shrugs, “We got out of there though didn’t we?”

They both smile and look for the bus that’s due to arrive. They board quickly and catch their breath on the ride to Youngjae’s house. He’d texted them, telling them to meet at his house, rather than risking bringing everything over and being caught by JB.  The birthday had to be a surprise and daddy JB was far too perceptive.

The house comes into view and they get off the bus in as much of a rush as when they got on. They head towards their godfather’s driveway. Upon arriving, they see Youngjae already outside, but instead of waiting for them, he’s with a young woman...and not the same one from the day before. The boys instinctively hide to watch, catching the end of their conversation.

“...That’s so sweet, you having your nephews come over to stay.” 

Youngjae nods, smug. “My brother is going through a tough time right now, so I try and do anything I can. I’m sorry that cuts our morning short.”

“No, that’s okay.” The woman reaches out and cradles his cheek sweetly before letting go. “I do the same for my sister. Her kids are angels and I love taking care of them. It’s nice to see a guy who likes doing the same.”

“Is it?”

She laughs, embarrassed. “I mean that I don’t date many guys who would look after their siblings kids, especially from such a young age.”

Bam Bam whispers over to Yugyeom, “Young?”

“How old does she think we are?” Is Yugyeom’s question in reply.

Youngjae doesn’t take too long to reveal it to them. “They’ll be three years old soon.” 

“Time flies doesn’t it?” The woman chuckles.

Bam Bam and Yugyeom look on horrified.

“It does. He’ll be dropping them off soon, but I can walk you to your car if you like?”

She waves him away, “No, no, you stay. You’ll call me right?”

“Of course I will.” Youngjae smiles and the two share a kiss before she walks down his front steps, waving as she rounds the corner. He stands, completely proud of himself until he sees both Yugyeom and Bam Bam appear from behind a bush. His egotistical smile disappears immediately.

“Nephews?” Yugyeom asks.

“Boys-”

“Don’t you mean toddlers?” Bam Bam pipes up, cutting him off.

“I-”

“They grow up so fast!” Yugyeom teases as Youngjae stares helplessly at them both. “Bam Bam doesn’t have the patience for much more.”

Bam Bam gives an adequate reply, “What type of bullshit was all that?”

Youngjae gives up and sighs, holding the door open for his really annoying god sons. “Do you want to make your dad’s stuff here or not?”

**End Scene**

 

**Scene 5 -** **No Emergency**

Jinyoung rushes up to Mark’s front door and knocks loudly. His answer is immediate and Jinyoung rushes in.

“What happened?” 

“Jinyoung-”

“You said we were missing something? What are we missing? The deadline is today.”

“I think we made a mistake.” Mark grabs Jinyoung by the wrist and drags him towards the table where a giant blueprint waits, outstretched. “My measurements were off.”

“They can’t be. Is it shorter than you thought it was? Longer?”

“I don’t think it has enough space, or maybe there’s too much space.” Mark stares down at the design in front of him, his shoulders tense. “If I’ve made a mistake, it ruins everything that you did, and if it ruins everything that  **you** did, then the whole proposal is a failure and I just can’t-” He cuts himself off, his breath fast and sharp. Jinyoung looks at Mark’s tight shoulders and takes a deep breath of his own. He’d seen him like this before.

“You’re panicking.  Calm down.”

Mark shuts his eyes for a second, but his breath is still coming fast. “I can’t.” Jinyoung grabs him by the shoulders to steady him. He reaches for his chin and turns his head, making sure Mark’s eyes are on him.

“Breathe. It’s going to be fine, you didn’t make any mistakes.”

“But I-”

Jinyoung steps closer and runs his hands up and down Mark’s arms, doing whatever he can to calm him down. “Everything was perfect. You did perfect. You’re idea is amazing and they’re going to love it.”

Mark looks at Jinyoung and his breath slows. His pupils grow bigger and his breath becomes so quiet, it’s almost as if he’s holding it. 

“Even if we don’t pass the first stage, I promised you that I’d still work with you. That won’t change, okay. I prom-”

Before Jinyoung can finish his sentence Mark leans in, and kisses him on the lips. Shock freezes him in his place, and seconds fly past as he realises that he’s kissing his husband’s younger brother. 

When Mark finally comes up for air, it takes Jinyoung a couple seconds to come back to his senses.

“Jinyoung?” Mark’s face is far less stressed and more vulnerable, his mind far from the project. Jinyoung takes a deep breath. He can’t believe the next words he says aloud.

“You promised you’d never do that again.”

**End Scene**

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed that chapter! Two more chapters next week :D


	3. Episode 3

**Scene 1- Five Years Ago* {Part 1}**

In a room full of generic balloons and full tables, Mark stands to the side in a light blue suit holding a glass of white wine. Scanning the faces around him, he recognises some celebrities from TV; tonight was the unofficial opening of JB and Jackson’s new Music Production Company. Coincidentally, it was also New Year’s Eve. Mark had arrived late, finding everything already started when he got there. Jackson came to find him before he was alone for too long.

“Why are you here in the corner, alone?” He asks, sauntering up with something that looks like a gin and tonic in his glass.

Mark shrugs, continuing to lean against the wall. “I like watching.”

“You know that’s weird right?” 

Jackson joins him against the wall, effectively blocking Mark’s view of the party. Locking eyes instead, they smile. 

“I’ve missed you,” he blurts out, making Mark roll his eyes. “I’m not drunk, I’m serious.”

“Course you are.”

“No, no, no, I am!”

Mark shrugs again. “You’ve just been busy.”

Jackson nods. “We didn’t expect it, being an umbrella company and everything, but yeah, we’ve been busy. You must miss JB a lot.”

Mark looks to where JB is standing; he’s deep in conversation with some actor he recognises, Jinyoung attached to his side. He shakes his head, “I mean, he’s busy. What can we do?”

Jackson grabs Mark’s head under his arm and hugs him a little to tightly. “I wish it could be like the old days, when we were all roommates.”

“I thought you hated me.” Mark struggles to speak, locked in the strength of Jackson’s arm. “That I was too quiet for you.”

“Nah.” Jackson looks down, head over him. “At least you were there. Before, it only felt like I lived alone. Now, I  **actually** live alone.”

Mark looks up, pretending to pity his friend. “Aww, poor you.” Jackson ruffles his hair before finally letting go. 

“Seriously though, you should join the party. White wine is not your friend.” 

“What?”

Against his will, Jackson takes Mark by the arm and drags him to the center of the room. People stop them along the way, forcing Mark to take part in the mingling and socialising that was expected of being Jackson’s close friend. After meeting a couple guests, they finally make it to JB and Jinyoung’s table. They arrive just in time to see Youngjae separate from a pretty young woman to join them. 

Jackson gives Youngjae an arched eyebrow. “Can we please not have any scandals from you in our early days.”

Youngjae pretends to be shocked. “Me? As if I would do such a thing.”

Jinyoung detaches himself for a moment from JB to lean to Youngjae’s side. He pretends to whisper, “What was her name?” Everyone around them snickers.

“Don’t take offense but that’s actually amazing.” Jackson calls out when Youngjae doesn’t answer.

Jinyoung turns back to JB. “He literally just met her.”

“Alright, alright.” Youngjae covets his drink. “Knock it off.”

Mark laughs along with the guys but gives Youngjae a secret look of pity. 

“They bully me too much.” he whispers.

_ “ _ Then learn the names of your dates,” was Mark’s reply back.

The five of them hang out for a bit, the occasional celebrity or artist coming to meet the two company directors now and then, but for the most part it simply felt like the five of them were at a party. It was like times before; Mark was watching while the rest acted like absolute crackheads with each other...except for maybe JB and Jinyoung. 

They’d matured in the last ten years by getting steady jobs, becoming parents and one of them even partnering in their own company. Watching them both, Mark felt envy rise in his chest that he couldn’t fully keep at bay, so, after a while, he took his own silent leave. Without notice, he heads for the door as the countdown to midnight begins but, before he makes it too far, there’s a tap on his shoulder. He turns around, surprised to find that it’s Jinyoung stopping him.

“Hey,” he pants, having run through the throngs of excited people, “Where are you going?”

“I just thought I’d get away.”

Jinyoung rolls his eyes. “You always say that. We hardly ever get to hang out. You should stay with us.”

Mark shakes his head but Jinyoung reaches out a hand to hold his. 

“Stay,” he begs.

Mark looks at the ring on Jinyoung’s finger and feels his heart cry out. The guests begin the final countdown.

“10!” Five years was a long time to see the people he cared about, separately, come together. “9!” For a second, he hated his silence for all those years. “8!” He wanted to tell himself off like the rest of the group did so easily. “7!” After a moment, he considers letting it all go. “6!” But, by the time five seconds comes around, he knows he can’t. 

“5!”

Mark attempts escaping again but Jinyoung only keep a tighter hold of him. 

“4!”

“Just stay with us!” Jinyoung yells over the noise. “It’ll be great!” 

“3!”

“Jinyoung…”  _ There’s so much I wish I could tell you _ , Mark thinks to himself, unable to go on.

“2!”

_ So I guess, I’ll just have to show you instead _ .

“1!”

With the final number of the countdown, Mark steps in towards Jinyoung. With both hands, he wraps one around Jinyoung’s waist and lets the other draw on his cheek. Pulling him close, the kiss happens as soon as fireworks are set off outside. 

Not only did Mark’s heart explode as their lips collided, but colour erupts over his closed eyelids, and for a blissful moment, not even considering the consequences, he is happy.

 

**End Scene**

 

**Scene 2- Now**

Jinyoung steps as far away from Mark as he can. “You swore you’d never, ever, do that again.” 

Mark listens to his instincts instead of Jinyoung’s words. Bridging the gap made between them, Mark’s lips once again brush against Jinyoung’s. Jinyoung tries to pull away, but Mark forces Jinyoung backwards towards the opposite wall.

Immobilised, Jinyoung uses whatever strength he has left to reason with Mark. “Mark, please,” he breathes between kisses. “Think about JB.” Mark pauses for a second to inhale, trying to come to his senses, but all he can see are Jinyoung’s lips. He can feel Jinyoung’s hands on his arms, trying to keep him at bay and, despite their presence being a warning, he wants to stay close. His heart feels too tight and his body too weak at the same time and he finds it hard to think straight. 

“Mark.” Jinyoung calls out again.

“Why can’t I have this?” Mark whispers, brain finally giving his mouth something more to do.

“What?”

“This. This feeling.” 

Jinyoung looks on confused making Mark reach for him, hands enclosing his face with desperation. “I  **want** this.”

“Mark, I told you before-”

“I know what you said before!” He replies, letting go and running frantic hands through his hair. “I know what I said before, but I take it back! I take it all back!” Raw emotions well up inside him, so much so that he can’t bear it...but then he sees Jinyoung’s face. 

He’d never seen Jinyoung so shaken. His eyes look frantically between Mark and the space behind him and his breath is coming fast. Because of this, Mark takes a deep breath, and tries to hold back everything bubbling to the surface. He instead leans forward, a breath between them, and trails a light hand through Jinyoung’s hair; He tries to make his voice soothing but instead it comes out sounding quiet and dangerous. “I won’t stay silent anymore. It’s killing me.”

“Mark…” Jinyoung tries to look around, but can’t. Mark is directly on top of him, and all their eyes can do is lock on each other. “You can’t do this.”

“Why?” Anger bubbles up again, Mark’s consideration forgotten as his voice rises. “Why can’t I?”

“You know why!” Jinyoung’s voice rises as well. “This can’t happen now. I’ve been with JB for ten years-”

Mark grazes Jinyoung’s lips with his own, efficiently cutting him off and leaving an echo of a kiss. His next words are like cuts, “And now it’s my turn.”

 

**End Scene**

 

**Scene 3- Five Years Ago {Part 2}**

Jinyoung pushes Mark away and drags him towards a dark corner, making sure no-one can see them. With the initial happiness fading away, Mark now knows from the look on Jinyoung’s face that he’s now in a dangerous situation. 

To his credit, Jinyoung tries to be calm. “Why did you do that?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think about it-”

“But  **why?** ” Jinyoung’s voice is stern, **“** Why did you do it?”

Mark grapples with his words but finds it difficult to say anything nearing the truth. He instead tries something else. “It’s New Year’s.”

“And I’m expected to believe that that was just a New Year’s kiss? Between friends?”

“Yeah. Yes. I did it with Jackson once...I...I was drunk. It’s the white wine.”

Jinyoung sighs, “Stop lying Mark. I know when your lying.”

Mark closes his mouth and looks everywhere but Jinyoung’s face, which was now full of disappointment. “Look at me,” Jinyoung speaks softly. “Mark, look at me.”

Mark hesitates but does as he’s told.

“Do you have feelings for me?” Jinyoung asks. 

Mark neglects to answer, so Jinyoung stares at him instead, eyes a piercing brown that almost see right through him. With Mark still choosing not to speak, Jinyoung tries again. 

“That kiss felt like you had feelings for me.”

Hope shook Mark up before he could stop it. Maybe Jinyoung had noticed it. Maybe he hadn’t needed to say anything. Maybe he’d understand.

“The thing is,” Jinyoung continues, “you can’t have those feelings.”

The hope inside Mark fizzled out and died.

“You can stick to this New Year’s story and we can tell everyone that you were drunk, but if there’s a glimmer or even a fraction of feelings for me in there,” he points towards Mark’s heart, “you have to get rid of them. You’re my brother in law, and I care about you. I don’t want you to get hurt. I love JB and I love our family. I don’t want anything to jeopardize that.”

“No, I understand.” Mark back pedaled as fast as his heart was breaking. “I’d never do anything to hurt JB. It was just a New Years kiss. Please don’t look too deeply into this.”

Jinyoung eyes him him cautiously but Mark only smiles, desperate to make things okay again. “It was an empty kiss, I swear. I’ll never do it again.”

“Good.” Jinyoung lets him go and Mark steps away awkwardly. 

“I guess I’ll see you later then.”

Jinyoung nods. “See you later.”

They both turn away from each other and head in opposite directions, only when Mark reaches the outer door, he turns around, aching to see Jinyoung one more time. He turns just in time to see JB come outside. Jinyoung reaches for him the minute he sees him and they both share a long passionate kiss. When they break apart, Jinyoung comes away smiling.

“Happy New Year.” Mark hears him whisper. 

Deep inside, Mark feels the annoying urge to cry.

 

**End Scene**

 

**Scene 3- “Happy Birthday, Jaebum.”**

“Happy Birthday, Jaebum.”

Surrounded by the smell of mid-afternoon caffeine, the one smell Jackson hates most in the world, Jackson hands JB a badly wrapped gift. 

JB stares at his present with pity and Jackson grows the urge to defend it. “It’s not wrapped up like that because I just bought it. It’s wrapped like that because I’m just really really shit at wrapping things, alright?”

“Why didn’t you just get a bag,” was JB’s smart reply. 

Jackson’s awed silence is comical and his next words are sheepish. “You’re just going to open it either way, so open it.”

JB gives Jackson a good-natured smile and rips away carefully at the paper covering his ‘present’. Inside he finds what appears to be a CD case. Overlaying it is a raised image of a red bird climbing above the sun. The background is a subtle black.

“What is this?” he asks, glazing over it with his hands in awe. 

“It’s your first mini album cover; I got someone I know in graphic design to make it for you. Do you like it?”

“It’s amazing.” JB is positively beaming. “I love it.”

Jackson smiles out of the corner of his mouth. “Good. Now you can’t make anymore excuses.”

JB lets the cover fall loose in his hands, slightly annoyed. “I said I’d release it soon. If you rush me, it just makes me stress out.”

“I already told you it was good, now you’re just wasting time, so I  **have** to rush you.”

“Fine, fine.” JB places the cover to the side. “End of the month release. How does that sound?”

That was actually better than Jackson originally thought, but he didn’t want to let on, so instead he just said, “Good. What did everyone else get you?” 

JB shrugs.

“Don’t tell me they forgot?”

JB shrugs again.

“As if. They never forget.”

“Well, this year they did.”

Jackson leans forward. “You’re family is full of legitimate angels. They practically worship you on your birthday, what are you talking about?”

Jackson might have been imagining it but he swore he saw JB blush. “Don’t say things like that.”

“It’s true. Last year, they got you a car.”

“Jinyoung got me a car.”

“But Bam and Yugyeom helped pick it out, and wrapped it in that cute bow, and made a mixtape for it of all your favourite songs...my point is they put the effort in. They will this year too.”

JB sits back and nods, finishing his coffee.

“Where would Jinyoung go anyway?” Jackson continues. “I thought you two were having a second honeymoon or something.”

“He had to rush out to take care of some work.”

“With Mark.”

JB gives Jackson a look of warning before answering. “I mean, probably, but it was serious from the sound of the phone call; The deadline was today.” JB sees Jackson’s look of disbelief but continues to support his husband. “It was important. Don’t you remember what we had to go through just to get where we are now? To have our own space? Our own logo even?”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. I’m rooting for them.”

“It doesn’t seem like you are.”

Jackson takes a breath to look out the window. “Is it that obvious?”

He turns back to find JB glaring at him. He decides to back off first. “I’m sorry. I’m being an asshole.”

“Yes, yes you are.”

“It’s just that you were so lonely without him and if he’s with Mark all the time...”

“Jinyoung would never do that to me. More importantly, Mark would never do that me; he’s my brother.”

“You’re not as close as you used to be.”

“So what?” JB raises his coffee to his lips for another sip. “It doesn’t matter. He’d never do something like that.”

There were so many things Jackson wanted to say but couldn’t. Getting on the bad side of JB at this stage wasn’t worth the risk; they'd argue for days, and it would take JB a week to consider forgiving him, but still, he couldn’t help feeling that JB was blind. If JB was lonely, he could only imagine how lonely Mark was, with only Jinyoung as company when he wasn’t working.

“Why don’t you see him anymore?”

“What?” JB brought Jackson out of his head with his question. “Who?”

“Mark. You work less than I do.”

“Fuck off. I work just as much as you do.”

JB gives him a dissatisfied look, but lets the matter go. “Seriously though. I have a family to look after and you don’t. Why don’t you see Mark? You used to pester him all the time.”

It was a good question, one Jackson really didn’t have a good answer too.

“I’ll see him tonight.”

“Why?”

Jackson hadn’t been thinking straight and nearly cursed himself out for being so careless. 

“Oh, I texted him a while ago to meet up. I know  **he** won’t drag me to a disgusting cafe,” he teases.

“Coffee is the elixir of life.”

“And yet I think that about protein shakes. Let’s agree to disagree.”

 

**End Scene**

 

**Scene 4- “Happy Birthday, JB!”**

 

Jinyoung arrives to Youngjae’s house alone. After leaving Mark’s, JB’s brother hadn’t followed him and it didn’t look like he’d be showing up at all either. Jinyoung had no idea what to say about it. 

No-one notices Mark missing though because, upon entering, the boys have their dad putting up decorations and setting things out. It was so last minute, panic took precedence, even for Youngjae, who had basically given his house over to Bam Bam and Yugyeom, and was now only worried about what they were doing to it. 

When they have a minute, Jinyoung finally asks aloud, “Where is your dad?”

Bam Bam answers, in the midst of stirring spicy tofu stew, “With Jackson. Where else?”

Jinyoung internally wishes it were the other way around. Jackson should be helping to set up the party and Jinyoung should be distracting JB. He couldn’t believe how much he missed him in that moment. He wanted to hold him and forget that those moments with Mark had ever happened, but it was impossible. Helping to set out snacks as the boys argued over music, he went over the events of the early afternoon in his mind. 

He’d never seen Mark so wound up before, so angry. Mark tended to keep himself to himself but if he ever had any problems, he would go to someone, usually JB or Jinyoung, but in this case, he understood why that hadn’t happened. He wondered how long Mark had lived in silence with this pain. 

Forcing himself not to think about the kiss proved pointless so Jinyoung chose think about it, and it led him to ask so many questions. Had Mark never let that New Years night go? Had he really felt like this for such a long time? In that case, it wasn’t much of a surprise something like this had happened, Jinyoung just wished it had happened at any other time, just not on JB’s birthday. Of all days…

“Dad, you’re spilling chips everywhere!” Jinyoung heard Yugyeom’s voice in the back of his mind and snaps out of his reverie long enough to notice that the youngest was right. Yugyeom swipes the bag out his hand, face uncharacteristically serious and stressed. “I’ll do it.”

“Okay. Sorry.” Jinyoung steps away. Moving back, he bumps into Youngjae, who also wasn’t doing anything either.

“I was apparently hanging the banner wrong, so he got me to stop doing that too.” He points above them and Jinyoung sees the words ‘Happy Birthday JB’ written out in Yugyeom’s neat handwriting.

“Oh.”

“What are you so distracted thinking about?” Youngjae asks, compulsively folding a napkin. “You nearly made Yugyeom lose his mind over chips.”

Jinyoung looks through Youngjae for a second, before focusing. “Nothing. Nothing, I’m just…”

“Stressed?”

“What?” Jinyoung hadn’t expected Youngjae to have an answer.

“About your proposal? It’s understandable. I know how important this is for you and Mark to have a successful Design Company.”

“Oh yeah...the company.” 

How was he supposed to work with Mark now that this had happened?

Youngjae patted him on the shoulder, oblivious to his real worries. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. You guys have done work for big names; that’ll have been really good for you.”

“Yeah.”

“Everyone get ready!” Yugyeom shouts, running over towards where the adults were standing. Bam Bam, finally finishing with the playlist joins them. “Jackson is bringing Daddy JB over.”

Jinyoung’s palms grow sweaty as they all turn towards the door. Mark still wasn’t there, and there was nothing Jinyoung could think of to excuse it. JB would know that they were together...he tried not to think about it.

Footsteps and hushed conversation near the front door and those inside it stay silent. 

“...Youngjae gave me a key.” This was Jackson’s voice, “We can just go in and wait for him.”

“But what if he brings back one of his lady friends?” JB asks.

Bam Bam coughs and Yugyeom full on hits him on the head.

“It’s fine. They all think we’re his brothers anyway. He weaves stories like that.”

They hear the key fitting into the lock and Yugyeom grabs a confetti cannon, getting ready. The key turns and so does Yugyeom’s hand and when the door opens, confetti flies everywhere as the three of them cry,

“Happy Birthday JB!”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this chapter! There will be another this week :D


	4. Episode 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of your delicious comments :D i don't know how to reply to some of them. You'll just have to see what happens ;)

**Scene 1- Partay**

JB watches as confetti spirals down in front of him. 

Jackson claps him on the back, grinning. “I told you your family didn’t forget. You’re so sore about nothing.”  
Bam Bam and Yugyeom both run up to hug their dad while Youngjae gives him a simple tap on the shoulder. When he’s released, Jinyoung steps up to give him a kiss, “Happy Birthday.” 

JB holds tightly to him while addressing the others. “I thought you all forgot.”

Yugyeom is quick to betray. “Bam Bam did.”

“Hey!” 

“It’s fine.” Youngjae cuts them both off. “You remembered in the end and I helped.”

“Yeah, Uncle YJ helped a lot.” Bam Bam teases, only to get Youngjae to cuff him on the ear and he cries out in pain.

“You’re not the only one who forgot a birthday Bam. Uncle YJ managed to forget thirteen of our birthdays even happened!” Youngjae knocks into both of them and heads towards the kitchen. 

He turns towards JB and gives him a practiced smile, “Look what your little  _ angels  _ made for you.” He picks up the top to a pot and opens it, producing some dramatic mist and the smell of spicy tofu stew emanates up and into the entire room.

“Oh my god! You cooked for me!” he looks at Jinyoung, impressed. “Imagine that.”

“Let’s eat now.” Jackson cries out, rushing to grab bowls.

“Wait.” JB’s voice rings out as everyone grabs food. “Where’s Mark?”

Everyone shakes their heads and JB looks towards Jinyoung for an answer. Jinyoung scrunches up his eyebrows, thinking about what he’s going to say, but in the end he just takes JB’s hand and squeezes it.

“Where is he? Weren’t you were with him?”

Jinyoung shakes his head and continues holding JB’s hand tightly. 

“Jinyoung?”

“He’s not coming.” Jinyoung finally manages to get the words out, but he can’t look JB in the eye. 

“What do you mean he’s not coming?”

“He’s just not coming.”

Confused, JB takes out his phone. There are no messages from his brother in the last hour, so he brings up Mark’s number. “As if he wouldn’t show up.” he whispers, as he presses call. He waits for an answer, but for the longest time it just rings and rings.

 

**End Scene**

 

**Scene 2- I should have…**

Taehyung picks up Mark’s phone when it buzzes. As the screen lights up, it’s clear for him to see -  **15 missed calls** .

“I’m not answering.” Mark tells him, taking a drink from his rum and coke.

“Why not? Didn’t you say it’s his birthday?”

“Yeah, but he’ll understand. How many times am I ever able to meet up with you?” He gives Taehyung a small smile. 

Taehyung and Mark had both studied abroad in Italy at the same time. They met each other at school but hadn’t had much time to meet after finishing. Whenever they met, it was like a once in a lifetime thing...Tae was a very popular person.

“You might be here with me but you look miserable, and looking at how many missed calls you have…” Mark’s phone buzzes again, pointedly. “I’d say it had something to do with your brother.”

“Don’t you ever just want to drink and forget your problems?”

“I do, but then I see you Mark…” Tae shakes his head and puts down his own glass. “I feel like we should take this opportunity to talk through our problems as like minds.”

“I don’t want too.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

Taehyung takes Mark’s drink out of his hands and sets it at the far end of the bar. Mark tries to reach for it but gets blocked. “Talk to me.”

“Tae-”

“Talk to me and I’ll give you your drink back; depending on how bad I think it is, I might even buy you another one.”

Mark stares ahead, annoyed, but sits back in his chair. He struggles with the truth but it’s only Tae, and who else can he talk to right now but Tae, so he lets the words spill out.

“I kissed Jinyoung.”

Tae’s jaw drops immediately. He tries to use his hand to hide it but it’s too late. “You didn’t?” 

Mark nods.

“You kissed your brother’s…”

Mark nods again.

Tae passes Mark his drink back. “Wow.” 

“Uh-huh.” He downs the drink in one go. “You owe me another one.”

“I can’t believe it. Why’d you do that?”

Mark shrugs but Tae gives him a probing look. “I need more than that to buy you another drink.”

Once again, Mark struggles with the truth. “I don’t know.”

“Lies.”

“I…”he plays around with the glass. “I wanted too.”

“You wanted too?” Tae repeats.

“Yeah, I wanted too.”

“Five years down the line there has to be more than ‘I wanted too’ at this point.”

Mark regretted keeping in contact with Tae for so long. He knew him too well. “I just…” he pauses before a moment of clarity comes upon him. “All of a sudden, I just knew how I felt and I wanted to act on it after years of being unsure and telling myself not too.”

“You were unsure?’

“I hated Jinyoung when I first met him, don’t you remember?” Taehyung nods. “I told you about it. The minute I got back we were put on a project together and I absolutely detested him.”

“Yeah.”

“But then, I started to understand him. I realised the things I hated him for were actually things that made him amazing at what he does, and now we work so well together.. He just .. he just gets me.” 

Mark smiles at Tae’s playful teasing. “I mean, I get you too.” 

“But I like him.”

Taehyung nods, and grabs his drink, turning away to drink it. “But you don’t love him.”

“So what of I did?”

“Then maybe it would be okay to compete with JB, but, at this stage, it’s not. He’s married and you only like him. Feelings of ‘like’ can fade-”

“Not after five plus years..”

“So, why did you say you like him?”

Mark looks at Tae, confused. “Does how I say it matter?”

“Um, yes. Do you love him?”

Mark stares at the bar for a second.

“It’s a yes or no question, Mark. Do you love Jinyoung?”

Mark looks Tae in the eyes and sees his own fear reflected back at him, but, thankfully, he's no longer uncertain. “Yes.”

“Well...shit.” Tae grabs the attention of the bartender. “Can I get a double rum and coke for my friend, please?”

“I should have told him.” Now that Mark had breached the barrier of his words, they kept coming out. “I should have told him how I felt a long time ago.”

“But you said you weren’t sure.” He counters, paying for the drink.

“I wasn’t but I still should have said something. Then JB and I-”

“Could have competed to the death? Maybe his kids could have been yours?”

“No no, god no.” Mark laughs. “Just...I would have had a chance to make Jinyoung happy too.”

“And what about your brother?”

Mark sits and thinks for a while. “He’d have been fine. He has Jackson.”

“Wow.”

“Oh, shut up. “ Mark stirs his drink with his pinky after receiving it. “There’s been so many times where JB and I have liked the same person and I've said nothing. I’ve let him take chances away because he’s been more sure of his feelings than I have. With the way we grew up...I do want to see JB happy, it’s just...I want to be happy too.”

“But he’s married-”

“Yes, he’s married, and I know that makes it worse but I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I don’t want to miss out on the chance when I’m this sure.”

“So, you really do love him.” Tae smiles, trying to be supportive.

“I do.” Mark takes a swig of his drink, in an attempt to get rid of all his remaining tension and, feeling semi- buzzed, turns to Tae. “But this shouldn’t just be about me. I haven’t seen you in such a long time. How have you been? How was Malta?” 

“Don’t.”

Mark tries to hold back laughter. “Did you get lost recently?”

“Please, stop.” Tae stares at his drink, cheeks turning red.

“For real though. How is everyone?”

“They’re good. Jimin’s good. Suga’s good. Everyone; all of them. Good. We’re about to head out on tour again so…”

“I won’t see you for forever now. You won’t even answer my snapchats.”

“I try, okay,” Tae argues. “It’s difficult.”

“Just get Jin to do it for you. His Story is usually full of you and Jungkook anyway.”

Tae laughs, “You’re right.”

Mark’s phone buzzes again, only this time it’s a text. Both of them look at his phone.

_ Are you really not going to answer me? - JB _

“He’s probably really worried about you.” 

“You’re probably right but if I talk to him now, I know I’ll say something I regret later. I’ll just see him...tomorrow.”

Tae nods along, unable to think of a better solution for his friend. “Okay.”

 

**End Scene**

 

**Scene 3- Think about Now {Part 1}**

After the party ended, Bam and Yugyeom graciously announced that they would be staying at Youngjae’s house overnight; Youngjae was very surprised. JB and Jinyoung travel home alone but instead of focusing on the alone time, JB focuses on the absence of Mark.

“Is he still not answering his phone?” Jinyoung asks, as they step into the house.

“He’s ignored every single call. He’s never done that before.”

“What if he’s just busy?”

“Wouldn’t you know if he was busy? You were working together before the party.” 

Jinyoung curses to himself before turning to face JB. “I don’t know about every corner of Mark’s life. He might be busy for all we know.”

“You’d know more than I would, he barely talks to me anymore.”

JB looks sad about this but Jinyoung feels the opposite; the less Mark and JB spoke to each other for now, the better. Jinyoung grabs hold of JB’s arms and swings them in an attempt to distract him. “Don’t worry about him. Think about now.”

JB knows Jinyoung is attempting to lighten the mood and smiles. “I’m sorry.”

“I haven’t even been able to give you my gift yet.” Jinyoung raises his eyebrows suggestively and JB rolls his eyes. “Close your eyes.”

“You know I hate doing that.”

“Just do it. Please.”

JB shuts his eyes and Jinyoung leads him back through the front door and around the outskirts of front yard. They head towards an empty shed between their house and the next one, where Jinyoung gets out a key and opens the door. He leads JB inside and, when they’re in the center of the room, he stops.

“Okay, open your eyes.”

“We aren’t in some strange location for something weird are we?”

“Im Jaebum just open your eyes.”

Doing as he’s told, JB opens his eyes and looks around the room. Before him is what seems to be a recording studio; the interior is red, highlighted with a pale yellow.

“Jinyoung,” he calls out in awe, “what is this?”

“Well, our Landlord doesn’t use this place anymore, so I stole it from him. I say stole, but I bought it from him and made you this-”

JB grabs him into a tight hug before he says anything else. “This is amazing.”

“I know you wanted to do more stuff at home and maybe bring the boys into it as well so..”

JB pulls away to look at Jinyoung, eyes bright. “Thank you so much.” 

Before Jinyoung can protest, JB pulls him close and gives him a long kiss. After the events of the day, it was reassuring to know that despite what had happened, nothing had really changed,  but Jinyoung still felt lingering guilt within himself. Wanting to disappear inside JB’s embrace only made him hate himself more. 

JB releases him moments later and he tries to imitate JB’s smile.

“I love you.” He whispers.

“I love you too.”

JB laughs, incredulous, “I can’t believe you built me this. You got me a car last year.”

“I spoil you.” Jinyoung teases.

“Well…” JB wraps his arms around Jinyoung’s neck. “That’s debatable.”

“Is it?”

“It depends on what you mean by spoil.”

Jinyoung wraps his arms around JB’s waist. “I give you everything you want.”

JB smiles. “I want you.”

“And you have me.”

 

**End Scene**

  
  


**Scene 4- Think about Now {Part 2}**

Jinyoung looks over at JB in bed, unable to sleep. The kiss with Mark kept playing over and over in his mind. He finds his mind comparing the two against each other as well; he looked at their eyelashes, their face shape. 

For brothers, they didn’t look much alike but that’s because they both had different mothers. Mark had a thin jawline while JB’s was more rounded; he looked a bit like a teddy bear in Jinyoung’s eyes and he smiles at the thought, tracing its outline with his index finger.

JB’s eyes open slowly. “Why are you still awake?”

Jinyoung shrugs, smiling, “No reason.”

JB yawns and cuddles in closer to him. “Liar.”

They both lie still and watch each other before Jinyoung speaks again.

“Why did you pick me?” Jinyoung whispers. 

JB raises an eyebrow. “What type of question is that?”

“You wanted to know why I was awake.”

JB rolls to the side and picks up his phone to look at the time. “It’s three in the morning.”

“Then go to sleep.”

JB turns back and sighs. Closing his eyes, he answers. “I picked you because your intuitive.”

“Intuitive?”

“Yeah. And I envy that. You always know how people are feeling even if they don’t say anything. You do it with Bam Bam and Yugyeom, Mark too.”

Jinyoung cringes at the mention of Mark’s name, glad that JB can’t see him.

“Mark clings to you more than me because of that. You always know how he feels, even when he doesn’t say anything.” JB takes Jinyoung’s hand and squeezes it under the sheets. “I’m glad you can be there for him. He needs you.”

Jinyoung’s palms start to sweat and, because of that, he pulls his hand away. JB reaches for it again but he fights to keep it away.

He tries to laugh it off, “My hands are sweaty.”

“I don’t care.” Catching hold of Jinyoung’s hand, he grips it  tightly in his. After a moments silence, he asks, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’re asking why I chose you.” Jinyoung shrugs. “I don’t feel like loving you was a choice. You found me and I’m grateful that.” 

He kisses Jinyoung on the forehead and cuddles closer before fully falling back asleep. Jinyoung watches him for a little while longer and feels his stomach turn. He wished he could fall asleep but in the end, he didn’t think that he would.

 

**End Scene**

  
  


**Scene 5- Raven**

The party ended early and Jackson made his way home in the night. He smiles to himself as he walks in the dark down the road. He can’t get the look of surprise JB had on his face out of his mind. It was the one thing keeping him warm on the walk home.

“What are you so happy about?” He hears a familiar voice in the distance come up from behind. He turns his head and is hit by the smell of strong perfume. He stops still and colourful fabric flies past. Automatically he puts his head down.

“I feel like today was a special day for you.” 

“What are you doing here?”

“I came home.”

Jackson’s head rises slowly and he resists the urge to roll his eyes. “Raven-“ 

She wraps her arm in his and her weight drags him forwards. Under the perfume he can sense the hidden smell of alcohol. 

“I came home to you.”

Jackson stops her and they stand in the middle of the road. He turns her around and looks into her eyes.

“Go home.” And he lets her go, trying to walk away.

“Aren’t you worried about me going home?” She shouts from behind him. “It’s dark. I could get murdered..”

He freezes and sighs; about to do the right thing he almost turns around but just like Raven does, she keeps talking.

“I remember now. It’s the love of your life’s birthday isn’t it?”

Anger boils up  inside him as he continues walking, hoping she’ll leave before he makes her. 

“I’m right aren’t I? Good ol JB’s birthday.” She’s skipping behind him. “I’m surprised I forgot since it felt like all three of us were in a relationship instead of just two!”

Jackson turns on his heels and barrels into her, grabbing her by the arm. She laughs.

“Raven, if you don’t go home-“

“What?” Her voice turns deadpan. “What will you do?”

They stare off against each other for a while before she rips her arm out of his grip.

“You’re still such a weak asshole.” She rounds him once and gives him a deplorable look. “Letting your ex-girlfriend bother you like this. Do you want me to make a scene?”

He groans and runs his hands through his hair. His voice is near pleading when he speaks again, “Please, Raven. Please just go.”

He stares at her, in her tights and pink dress. She steps towards him and wraps an arm around his neck. His skin crawls at her touch and yet when she pulls him down for a kiss, he doesn’t resist. He knows he can’t. 

“Be happy that I came home.” She whispers in his ear. 

“How can I.” He whispers. 

She leans back and gives him a warm smile. “Because whenever you need me I always come home to you.”

 

**End Scene**

  
  



	5. Episode 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm back with another Chapter/Episode.

**Scene 1 - The Result**

After rushing to school from Youngjae’s house, Bam Bam and Yugyeom sat in class waiting to get their results back for their test. The classroom was loud and Yugyeom sat in the middle of it, calm, whilst his brother was a case of anxiety to the left of the room. He tries to send him a reassuring smile but Bam simply turns away. His head falls down and he brushes some hair to fall in front of his face. He only looks up when the teacher enters.

The walks to the centre of the room and stops in front of his desk, keeping his face away from the class. The marked test papers hang loose in the hands folded behind his back. The room falls silent as he stands there, his presence enveloping the room; he was that kind of teacher.

“I’d just like to say,” he began, still facing away, “that I am proud of all of you. You worked hard and it shows.” Taking a breath, he turns to face everyone, a smile growing. “Because of that hard work, our class is ranked third.”

There are cheers and Yugyeom claps, teeth glowing as he grins, cheering with the rest of his class.

“I’d also like to point out,” the teacher continues, “that one person made some extreme improvements this term.” He points to his right and all eyes focus on Bam Bam, who looks around in alarm. “Bam Bam.”

“Yeah?” He looks warily between the teacher and his brother.

“You improved your score in Geography by twenty percent. That rounds your overall grade up to eighty-seven percent.”

Some girls near Bam Bam slap their hands over their mouths in shock. Bam Bam himself is the most shocked of all.

“The class is very proud of you.” The teacher steps over and passes him his paper. “This ranks you 20th in your year now.” Bam Bam looks down at his paper and slaps the table when he sees the score. His face lights up as he grabs it and turns to Yugyeom, eyes alive as he sends out a dab. Yugyeom does one back, laughing.

“The rest of you should also be extremely proud of yourselves.”

The teacher steps around the rest of the desks, placing papers in front of people and as each person sees their score they squeal or clap in triumph, showing their paper to the friends next to them. When he stops in front of Yugyeom however, he places his paper face down. As he does, he leans over, whispering, “Don’t be discouraged and come see me after.”

Yugyeom’s eyes follow the teacher in confusion until he looks back to his desk. He flips over the paper and looks at the mark.

 

***

 

Class lets out and Bam Bam runs out in a crowd of other happy students to look at the school ranking, only realising his brother is lagging behind a few seconds later. He turns around to see Yugyeom speaking to the teacher at his desk and stops to wait. Watching, he notices Yugyeom doesn’t seem as happy as he was before.

After a couple minutes pass, Yugyeom comes out of the classroom, the test paper folded over in his hands. He doesn’t see Bam Bam right away, so his older brother hits him on the shoulder to get his attention.

“How did you do?” He asks. Yugyeom shakes his head and turns away but Bam Bam holds onto his arm. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to bring down your mood.” Yugyeom gives his brother a small smile to appease him. “So go ahead and look at the ranking board without me.”

“I don’t want too. What’s up?”

“Bam-”

“Your face is gloomy. It’s super off-putting.”

Yugyeom stares at his brother but can’t find the energy within him to smile any brighter, so instead he shrugs off his grip and passes Bam his test paper. Bam opens it up and in large ink at the top is the score of sixty-two percent.

“What…”

“History brought my mark down.” Yugyeom explains, taking the paper back. “I stayed behind to find out about cram school. I might have to go.”

“But you can’t. Your band practice-”

“I’d obviously have to miss band practice, but at this stage, I really don’t want to think about it okay, Bam?”

Bam Bam can just about see the anguish hidden in his brothers face, and he wants to stick around to make sure that everything’s okay, but deep down he knows that Yugyeom needs his space, especially in times like this. So he steps back and gives an understanding nod in Yugyeom’s direction.

“I guess I’ll see you later then.”

“Yeah.”

Yugyeom turns and can finally relax his forced smile as he retreats out of the hallway, leaving behind the happier students who all passed above the eighty percentile. As he continues down the hall, there seems to be someone waiting for him and, just so he’s sure, she smiles to grab his attention.

“You wanna talk?”

Yugyeom doesn’t reply so she takes her weight off of the wall and reaches up to ruffle his hair. It’s a stretch but she manages it and he catches her hand, letting out a loose laugh.

“Let’s go.”

***

 

Yugyeom sits next to Kes in the courtyard greenhouse; between pitiful vegetable patches and beautiful lilies.

“So, why don’t we chat.”

Yugyeom rubs his eyes with the balls of his hands and leans back against the cold glass. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t take this as the end of the world.”

He smiles ironically. “With the way everyone was acting in there, I’m starting to think that it is.”

“I wasn’t acting like that.”

Yugyeom smirks, “That’s because you always pass. You don’t even try.”

“Whatever. There will be other tests. You know one faulty grade won’t ruin your chances of having a good life. If you work hard enough-

“That’s the thing.” He turns to her, his chest tight as he speaks, “I did try. I tried my hardest and this is where it lead me. Bam Bam and I, we both tried...” he drifts off, blinking back tears.

“You’re jealous.”

Shocked at her assumption, he laughs. “I’m not.”

She leans into him playfully. “You are, and that’s okay. You’re allowed to be jealous. You’re allowed to feel frustrated.”

He shakes his head. “I just...hate it.”

“And once you finish hating it, you’ll learn that it pushes you further, giving you the determination to do better. Remember when you were learning the piano for the first time?”

He shrugs, hanging his head and Kes takes full advantage of his hair being closer and ruffles it again, before grabbing his neck under her arm.

“You wouldn’t stop complaining!”

“Okay. Okay!” She lets him go and he leans back, less miserable.

“I’ll do you a favour.”

“What?”

“I’ll tutor you, if you want.”

His back straightens at the suggestion. Kes never tutored anyone. She was one of the highest ranked students in the school and she was constantly asked; told she’d be highly paid by parents if she did, but she never taught.

“Why would you help me?”

She turns away this time and shrugs, staring at a grape vine. “I hate seeing you so unhappy.”

Yugyeom stares at her; her dark hair was plaited today, and he could clearly see her face. Her green eyes, her high cheeks. She was pretty. He couldn’t believe he'd never noticed before.

“Even though I fully encourage every emotion, I like seeing you happy the most.” Her cheeks redden and she looks down, trying to hide it. “You have such a beautiful smile.”

The complement lifts his spirits and, more playful, he leans close to her ear. “You’re jealous,” he whispers, chuckling. She elbows him in the side and he cradles the new injury, laughing.

“It’s either that or cram school.”

He takes a minute to think it over, and as he comes to a decision, apprehension leaves his heart. “Thank you for the offer, but I won’t accept.”

She looks back at him, confused. “You’re going to go to the cram school?”

He shakes his head. “No. I’m going to try again, on my own. There are two more tests before the final exam. If I don’t improve on either of those then...I guess I’ll have to go, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.”

She leans upwards and puts her back on the glass as well. “Don’t go,” she begs. “You’ll hate it, I guarantee.”

“How do you know?”

“You think I’ve always been this smart?”

Yugyeom raises an eyebrow in surprise.

Kes shakes her head. “Of course I haven’t.”

“So your saying I’ll get there one day?”

She gives him an unbalanced hand. “Maybe.”

He flicks her with his finger and they sit together for a while longer, Yugyeom’s mood lightening by the minute.

 

**End Scene**

 

**Scene 2 - I love you**

JB walks down the steps to see Jinyoung setting out a late breakfast. He leans over the table looking away from him, so JB steps up behind him without notice.

“Are you not going into work today?”

Jinyoung jumps in surprise and JB encases him in a hug. “No, I’m staying here with you.”

JB gives him a kiss on the cheek before rounding the table to sit at his place. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Jinyoung brings over the food and smiles warmly at his husband. “It’s your day off and I want to spend it with you.” He places the food in front of the table but doesn’t sit to eat it. Instead, he glides over to JB and pulls his chin up for a kiss; a kiss he wants to melt his fingers and cut off his brain from thinking, but, before it can, his partner pulls away.

“Hey.” JB traces his hand over Jinyoung’s jawline, smiling thoughtfully, though surprised. “What was that for?”

Jinyoung tries to blow it off, “Nothing. I just wanted to say good morning.”

JB’s squints his eyebrows in suspicion but lets it go, instead patting the seat next to him for Jinyoung to sit down. They start to eat together.

“Is this about last night?” JB asks, matter-of-factly.

“No.”

JB watches Jinyoung pick at his food. “You look tired. Did you not get that much sleep?”

“I guess I’m just stressed...about work.” The excuse sticks in his throat.

“How long until you find out if you’ve passed?”

“It’ll take a week, but we have other projects. That’ll take my mind off of it.”

“Like what?”

“Well, there’s a contract for an art gallery that we were asked to help out with…” JB listens to Jinyoung talk, and as he continues on, he settles, seeming more like himself; involved in his work and ready for the next project. JB becomes less worried about him as he speaks but questions from the previous night linger in his mind.

“I love you,” he states, abruptly. Jinyoung’s eyes shine when he looks up at JB, any words he would have said stolen from his lips. “Did you hear me?” JB leans towards his partner, his eyes fierce. “I said, I love you.”

“I love you too.” Jinyoung replies. “With all my heart.”

“Good.”

Jinyoung laughs at JB’s uncharacteristically cocky attitude, but simultaneously takes his hand, loving it.

“I remember the first time you told me that.” JB muses, playing with their interlocked fingers.

Jinyoung doesn’t answer immediately, but smiles as he recalls the memory.

“Don’t you remember?”

“Hmmm?”

JB knocks him in the shoulder, “Don’t be rude!”

Jinyoung laughs, but hazy memories reform in his mind, of a past where he was a completely different person and JB was the cause that made him change into the man he was today.

 

**Scene 3 - Sixteen years ago**

Jinyoung sits and watches JB scribble in his notepad while sitting at his kitchen table; they’d just come back from the movies, and Jinyoung had only stepped out to use the bathroom. Returning however, he came to find JB intensely engrossed in writing.

His date had seemed distracted the whole night; not really following conversations, hands fidgeting all the time. JB had seemed guilty about it afterwards, choosing to invite him in, and, at first, Jinyoung wasn’t sure if he was being forward or just polite.  He’d followed him in anyway, hoping for something to make up the evening, but instead, here he was, watching JB drift off into, what seemed to be, his own written world. Usually, this would annoy Jinyoung, but instead of complaining about it, he realised that what had had JB so distracted wasn’t disinterest, but the fact that he wanted to write a song.

Watching him now, it didn’t seem so much like he wanted to write it, but that he needed too. Every word he wrote was precise, until each phrase was finished. When another verse reached completion, more strain disappeared from JB’s shoulders, like he was finally getting rid of a heavy burden. It was fascinating.

Soon his words start to slow down and his hands grow weak and weightless. He becomes more aware of his surroundings and he looks up to find jinyoung staring at him.

“Finished?” Jinyoung asks, smiling.

“I’m so sorry.” JB finishes the final word and shuts the notebook. “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

“No, it’s okay, I get it.”

“Once I get an idea, I have to write it down. I was trying to wait until I got home, but then I was scared I’d forget it so I had to keep going over it in my head, so that made me distracted-

“Jaebum.” Jinyoung cuts off his words. “I get it. I’m the same way when I have an idea. What was the song about?”

“Um…” JB’s ears go red as he thinks about what to say. “The moon.”

“The moon?” Jinyoung laughs. “That’s generic.”

“No it’s not.” JB rushes to defend his work. “It’s not just about the moon. It’s about how the moon is secretly in love with the sun, and how he has to wait until sunset for them to cross paths but the sun can never see how he feels because it’s too dark. The idea of sunlight is the only thing that keeps him going, because he shines from the sun’s light and, one day, he knows they’ll eclipse each other and he’ll be able to say everything he’s feeling...”

“I love you.” Jinyoung’s words carry out into the entire room; they came out of his mouth as easily as song lyrics came out of JB’s hands.

JB breathes out but finds he can’t take a breath back in. He watches as Jinyoung leans across the table and catches his lips, creating a kiss so full of light that he glows, never wanting to break away. His lips captivate him until the two are forced to breathe and Jinyoung repeats himself again, only this time it’s a passionate whisper.

“I love you, Jaebum.”

JB tries to catch himself before he speaks but Jinyoung won’t let him, teasing him with fingers that play with his hair and made his lips curl. His brown eyes follow his fingers and JB can’t stop looking at his image, which kept making his heart beat out of sync.

“Don’t you have something to say back?” Jinyoung asks.

JB grasps at words but none come to him. He’s distracted by everything in front of him and the way that he’s feeling. Jinyoung’s hand had even trailed down his face, travelling from his neck to his arm which he was now clutching, and so the skin on JB’s arm was tingling.

“It’s okay if you don’t love me yet.” Jinyoung tells him, letting his hair fall into his face as he looks down; the only hint that he might be embarrassed. “I can wait. I just want you to know that I do.” His hand searches for JB’s to hold and his grasp is so tight.

JB is gripping the table with his free hand, still unsure of what to do. Jinyoung ruffles his hair back and looks towards JB, his gaze turning into something desperate and intense. “Say something,” he begs. “Anything.”

JB swallows and eventually manages to get out some words. “You told me you love me.” He's in such a state of shock that all he can do is state the obvious.

“Yes, I have,” Jinyoung whispers. “Now, what are you going to do about it?”

JB tries to ignore the hungry look in Jinyoung’s eyes and finds that he can say nothing again. “I’m **glad** this table is here,” he states instead, staring at the table in question.

Jinyoung laughs. “Why? Am I scaring you?”

“No. Just imagine what would happen if it wasn’t here, you know…”

“I am. I am imagining it.”

JB laughs awkwardly but Jinyoung doesn’t join in.

“You’re shy aren’t you?”

Jinyoung’s words make JB blush. “No, I’m not.”

“Yes you are. Don’t lie.” He leans back in his seat, tension disappearing now that he’s teasing. “I’ll let you off if you are.”

Something in JB makes him want to deny it one more time, but he also knows what might happen if he does and he wishes to stay on the side of caution, so he just smiles and leans back in his seat as well.

“‘Knew it.”

“Shut up.”

“I love you, JB.” Jinyoung calls out, pretending to be cute.

JB brushes it off. “I know,” he replies.

 

**End Scene**

 

**Scene 4 - Look who it Is…**

Bam Bam, contrary to everyone else’s opinions, knew when to stay silent and so for the entire journey home, he’s quiet; Yugyeom isn’t as down as he’d been in class but he was still scarily somber. Bam Bam doesn’t speak, but watches him closely, wondering what he and that girl Kes had talked about; he’d seen them come out the greenhouse together after skipping class. It bothered Bam that Yugyeom told someone other than his older brother his problems, but he was grateful she was there for him; better that he told a close friend, rather than keep his feelings bottled up all day.

They get off the monorail and start walking towards home in strained silence. Yugyeom breaks it first. “You know you don’t have to be that careful around me right?”

“Well, what am I supposed to do? I took a crayon away from you once and you broke down.”

Yugyeom chokes, “Firstly, I was ten years old when that happened; you didn’t even ask...and secondly, I’m fine.” He turns to his brother who is walking behind him. “You’ve never tiptoed around me before.”

“Well, that was before you told Kes all your problems.” Bam speeds up and walks past his brother. “You two a thing or something?”

Yugyeom smiles and makes easy strides to meet Bam Bam so they can walk together. “Maybe.”

Bam’s eyes open wide as they come up to their driveway. “I was joking, are you serious?”  
Yugyeom only shakes his head as he locks the door but that only causes Bam Bam  to begin offloading questions that Yugyeom declines to answer. Only when they step into the living room does he stop as JB and Jinyoung are there sitting on the couch drinking tea waiting for them.

“How was school?” JB asks. “You got your results today didn’t you?”

Jinyoung sets down his mug to give his full attention to them but the boys don’t answer right away. Bam looks from his parents to his brother, whose head has fallen before he speaks. “I think I did alright. I might do some more studying though.” He tightens his grip on his bag and heads towards the stairs.

“What, now?” JB’s voice follows him and his father’s hands stop him just before he begins climbing. “Did you not...do so well?”

Bam turns to look at his dad, about to pretend he’s offended by such a statement, but in the corner of his eye, he sees Yugyeom standing awkwardly in front of Jinyoung and decides against it.

“Dad, I did fine.”

“Then what-”

“But Yugyeom didn’t.” JB’s face shows that he’s surprised to hear this and Bam shrugs. “I don’t want to talk about my stuff with him feeling like that. I’ll show you later, okay.”

JB watches his eldest walk up the stairs before turning to see Yugyeom is now sitting down, watching TV with Jinyoung. Moving back into the living area, Jinyoung gives JB a questioning look but JB can only shrug. He’s about to broach the subject when the doorbell rings. JB points for Jinyoung to answer it but before either of them can get up, the door unlocks and opens revealing a disgruntled Mark. He ruffles his red hair and fixes his jacket before lifting his head. He gives a shy smile in his brothers direction.  

“Hey, JB.”

 **End Scene**  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! New update tomorrow :D Just wanted to let you know I write two episodes a week ahead of time, so it's very unlikely that I won't update every week :D That's better for everyone as I like posting and reading your comments and hopefully you like reading the story as it continues! Thank you again!


	6. Episode 6

**Scene 1 - So here it is**

“Hey, Uncle M.” Yugyeom calls outs, smiling at his Uncle. Jinyoung stands up as soon as he sees Mark’s red hair. JB on the other hand turns away from his younger brother and pretends to be watching TV to avoid his eyes.

“Hey, Yugyeom.” Mark replies.

“What are you doing here?” JB asks. 

Jinyoung looks between them both, tension mounting in his shoulders as he speaks. “If you’re here to talk about work, we can go outside-”

“I’m here to talk to my brother actually, Jinyoung.” Mark gives Jinyoung a knowing look, and a small mischievous smile, before he places his focus on JB. “If he’s willing to talk to me.”

JB folds his arms and shrugs. “I guess so.”

“Sweet. Can we go in your office?”

JB nods, giving Mark the okay to walk past Jinyoung and towards the back of the house. Jinyoung moves to follow him but JB shakes his head.

“Stay with Yugyeom.”

Jinyoung watches them both go until the office door shuts behind them. He feels his heart beat fast with panic; what exactly would Mark say? When they’d spoken before, Mark had sounded ready to threaten everything that Jinyoung and JB had. Now Mark was here, and Jinyoung wasn’t allowed to hear what they talked about. It was the worst torment. 

He turned to his youngest son in search of pure vain distraction. “So, Yugyeom,” Yugyeom’s head turned up from the couch, eyes wide and naive. “How did your day really go?”

 

***

 

JB stands behind his desk, arms crossed, with Mark standing opposite him. Both brothers avoid beginning the conversation in their own ways; Mark switches his weight from foot to foot whilst messing with his hair, while JB stays stock still. After two whole minutes pass, it’s clear to JB that his younger sibling isn’t going to say anything, so he takes a deep breath and speaks up first.

“Well, what did you want to say?”

Mark ruffles his hair one more time, his mouth set in a painful straight line, before he speaks. “I’m sorry about yesterday.”

“Are you?”

Mark forces himself to look his brother in the eye. “Don’t be like that when I’m trying to apologise.”

“Like what?”

Mark sighs, “Antagonistic. Making it difficult. Making me feel more guilty.”

_ Why shouldn’t you feel guilty? _ JB thinks to himself.

“I’m sorry I missed your birthday. I just...couldn’t face you that day. I was going through some things.”

“What things? And why not?” JB uncrosses his arm, genuine concern coming across on his face. “I was worried about you. It only made me worry more when Jinyoung didn’t know where you were and you didn’t answer my calls.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“You used to talk to me whenever you had a problem. I don’t understand what happened. Did I do something wrong?” Mark shakes his head, an acute sign that he was avoiding the truth. JB rounds his desk to be closer to him, far more worried about his brothers problems than any missed birthday. “I’m your big brother, talk to me.”

Mark rubs the back of his neck and takes a second to look away. “JB…” He turns back to see JB waiting expectantly behind him. “I just can’t...not anymore.”

“Mark-”

“Do you remember how it was before I went away to Italy?” JB thinks back as Mark continues. “We’d lived alone together for almost three years, and Jackson was as much my family as you are...but when I came back...it wasn’t like that anymore, at least not for me.”

“What are you talking about?”

Mark plays with his hand, pushing its weight against the desk. “You both got hired by a big company together...you'd met Youngjae... When I came back, things had changed so much. I didn’t know how to fit myself in.”

“But that was years ago-”

“I know, I know it was was, and I should be over it, but it’s just so much harder to talk to you now. Even if your still my brother, you work with those guys every day. You’re closer to them than you are to me.”

“And yet you can talk to Jinyoung.” JB doesn’t mean to sound jealous but it comes out that way. “You didn’t even like him before.”

“We work together. Shouldn’t I be able to talk to him?”

JB sighs and refolds his arm, holding himself up. “Why are you saying this?”

“Because you wanted to know why I couldn’t tell you my problems.”

“And this is why?” JB’s arms fall. “Because our dynamics changed? Just because you went away doesn’t mean I cut you out of my life. Jackson too-”

“Pfft.” Mark shakes his head and JB leans back in surprise at Mark’s reaction. “Jackson’s become your friend far more than mine.”

“That’s not true. You know it’s not. You just said...you’re best friends, family even.”

“When was the last time Jackson ever came to check on me?” This floors JB as he had asked Jackson the same question.  “When was the last time we hung out, just us?”

“Jackson said he was going to talk to you...he told me the other night…” but thinking it over in his head, JB realises it was probably Jackson slipping up over the party. “Mark-”

“It’s okay. I’m just sorry I missed your birthday. You liked my gift though right?”

“What gift?”

“The recording studio. That was me **and** Jinyoung you know.”

JB turns in the direction of the recording studio and wonders why Jinyoung didn’t tell him.  
“Anyway, I’m sure you liked it and I’m sure you had a good time last night. Bam and Yugyeom always make it special for you.”

“I’ll try harder okay.” JB grabs hold of Mark’s arm and tries to smile. “I’ll make sure Jackson does too. I don’t want to make you feel left out anymore.”

Mark attempts to smile back. “Thanks bro.”

**End Scene**

 

**Scene 2 - Stop playing with me**

Mark and JB exit his office, more amiable than they had been when they walked in. Jinyoung looks up immediately, halting his conversation with Yugyeom to see Mark wave and walk out.

Jinyoung looks to JB, lost. “How did that go,” he asks.

“It was fine. We’re good now.” JB looks from his husband to Yugyeom. “And you?”

“Oh..um…”

“Daddy JB, I’m fine.” Yugyeom calls from the couch, flashing his dad a smile.

“Still though. We should talk if you’re upset.”

Jinyoung’s hands fidget. “We should...just give me one second.”

“What-”

Jinyoung runs past JB to the door. Mark was only stepping off the driveway when he caught up to him. He grabs hold of his arm to turn him around. Mark smiles when he sees him. 

“Hey.”

“What did you two talk about in there?”

Mark laughs. “Curious?” 

“Don’t play games with me.”

“Why? Are you scared?” Jinyoung releases his grip on Mark, but Mark only gets a tight grip on his hand, restoring the connection. “You should be.”

“Mark, please,” Jinyoung begs, attempting to get his hand free. “Please, I’m asking you again not to do this.”

“Because you’re scared.” Mark leans in close, his breath tickling Jinyoung’s cheek as he speaks. “You’re scared I’m going to make you feel something.”

“We’re right in front of my house!” Jinyoung pushes Mark away, making sure they are no longer in sight. 

“And I already told you, I don’t care.” Mark and Jinyoung face off, neither of them touching, but a high level of intensity flying through the air. Mark is the one to back down first, his eyes becoming soft and vulnerable. “There are things I want to say, things I want to feel, and this can’t be over until I feel them.” He looks deep into Jinyoung’s eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Jinyoung, shocked speechless, gives Mark space to continue. “Don’t worry. I didn’t tell my brother anything. You think he’d just let me leave if I had?”

“So, what did you say?” Jinyoung whispers.

“In a way...I said I missed him. I miss a lot of things, and if I am going to spend my life missing things, people, I should at least experience them first.” Mark runs his hand over Jinyoung’s brow and turns to leave before he’s reprimanded anymore. “See you later, Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung watches him go, conflicted over why his heart is pounding. He needed JB. He really needed JB.

**End Scene**

 

**Scene 3 - You have to go**

Jackson stands outside in the cold, watching Raven pick up some fishcakes from a street vendor. When she’s finally had enough, she turns to him, indicating his need to pay. With reluctance, he pulls out his wallet and promptly passes some money to the vendor who smiles in thanks.

Somehow, Raven had snaked her way into staying at his apartment the night of JB’s party. He wasn’t able to sleep with her there on his couch. He’d watched her from the kitchen instead of going to bed; her arm over her eyes, one leg on the couch and the other touching the floor.

“Stop staring.” She called out at around six in the  morning. “I can feel it.”

He rolled his eyes and poured himself a glass of water.

“Pour me one too.” she called out. 

His hand automatically reached for another glass. Criticising his actions, he considered pouring it out to spite her, but she’d already lifted herself off of his couch by this point and had stepped around to take the glass away. She draped herself across him with one arm, leaning all her weight on his shoulder as she drank.

“You’re going now aren’t you?” he asked.

“Yeah.” She gulped down the water fast. “Course we are.”

“No, Raven. You. You’re going.” With her glass empty she turned to him with a mischievous smile. 

“No.  **We’re** going. I told you whenever you need me, I’m here for you.”

He stepped out of her arms. “I don’t need you.”

“You’re a wounded puppy, watching someone he loves be happy with someone else.”

“That’s not me-”

“Then who is it?” Her voice deepened as she set down her glass. She stared at the counter as she spoke. “Is it me? Did  **I** waste two years of my life watching you be in love with someone else?” She looked up at him, eyes dark for a moment before the light hit them where she smiled brightly, almost girlishly. “No,” she answered her own question, “that wasn't me. Just give me a couple minutes to wash up, okay?” She brushed past him towards the bathroom and he closed his eyes when they touch. “You’ll let me borrow a shirt right?”

Exactly twenty minutes later, that’s how Jackson found himself walking side by side with his ex-girlfriend. Raven smiles happily as she walks around the city in his clothes, spending his money, and he consistently wonders how he’s going to get rid of her.

“Don’t wonder.” He hears her voice in his head and nearly jumps in surprise. She’s been  standing right next to him. “I’m staying right here.”

“Raven-”

“Why would you want me to go anywhere!” she shouts, making passers by look in their direction. “You owe me!”

“Alright, alright.” He grabs her arm and leads her around the corner to a less populated street. “Just keep it down.”

“Let’s go get some coffee.” Turning the tables on him, she pulls him behind her and they head into a coffee shop. The smell immediately makes his stomach turn. 

“Raven, you know I hate coffee shops.”

“Do you?” She feigns ignorance as she looks at the menu. “You used to sit with JB inside them all the time. Did that change?” She squeezes his hand and gives him a sideways glance. “Figures; your willing to sacrifice things like that for him and not for me.”

He sighs inwardly and silently approaches the cashier to pay for her coffee and muffin. With the order fulfilled, he follows her to a seat on the second floor. She blows on her mocha latte and stares out the window smiling, like their outing was some normal date. He had to stop this as soon as possible.

“Raven, what are you doing here? And don’t say it’s for me, or to help me. Tell me exactly why you’re here.”

She takes a sip of her coffee and places it down before looking directly at him. Her eyes are the most lucid he’s seen them, for a while.

“I’m here because I realised something.”

“What?”

She smiles. “That you’re mine.” She reaches for the hand he has resting on the table and holds it in a vice grip. “And I shouldn’t have let you go so easily.”

“Are you serious?” Jackson struggles to keep his voice down. 

“Deadly.”

“Look, Raven, I’m sorry about what happened with us, I really am, and I recognise that it was my fault but you can’t just come back into my life whenever you want too.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not your boyfriend anymore. You shouldn’t torture me...either of us.”

She feigns a look of confusion. “How am I torturing myself?”

“If you really loved me, you wouldn’t want me to feel trapped by you.”

She nods, loosening her grip and returning to her coffee. “You’re right, but the thing is, I don’t love you anymore; I thought that was obvious.”

“Then what is this? Revenge?”

“It’s support.”

Jackson literally has to squeeze his own hands to keep from moving forward and throttling her. “I don’t need your support, but thanks for thinking of me.”

She slams down her coffee, catching the eyes of some of the other customers. “It’s not for you, you self obsessed piece of shit.” She sighs and rolls her shoulders back. “It’s for me. And as much as I hate needing anything from you, it’s only fair. You owe me.” Jackson can think of no proper reply so she thinks of the conversation as being over. “So, like I said, you’re mine now.”

“But-”

“I don’t care about what happened in the past. The truth, everything you neglected to tell me about you and JB, this isn’t revenge for that...this is just me...needing someone right now.”

Jackson stares at Raven and wonders what she’d actually been going through while being away from him. Had he been too ignorant this whole time, only thinking for himself? He started to feel bad, but shook himself out of it. That’s what Raven would do, take his sympathy and run with it. He was effectively leashed to her until she decided to let go; they’d been leashed together in the last six months of their relationship...but what could he do about it now? If she really was hurting, and these weren’t just her skills in manipulating him, nothing she said was false; he did owe her, and even though he hated it, he had no right to say no. He felt his heart clench at the thought of how long he’d be stuck with her for; it also made him feel physically sick, to the point where he couldn’t keep still. Watching her finish her coffee was legitimate hell.

Finally finishing up, she stands, mood lifted somehow, and signals that they need to go. He follows, with no words, and stands helpless as she heads out of the cafe and walks into shop after shop, where she picks up things he pays for. With mere seconds to himself, he texts JB as soon as he can, wondering how he’s ever going to deal with this alone. 

_ Hey man, can we talk? -Jackson _

**End Scene**   
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed these two! I personally just love writing Mark scenes, I honestly never know what he's going to do next. Him and Jinyoung are just having emotional rollercoasters...and then there's JB...what can I say ;) See ya next week!


	7. Episode 7

**Scene 1- Is this why...**

JB watches Jinyoung run out the door. He wants to follow him but knows he can’t leave Yugyeom on his own, so he refrains from following his husband out the door. He picks up a conversation with his youngest instead to distract himself. 

“So, Bam told me what happened.”

“And like I said before the test dad, whatever happens, happens, and I just have to accept it.”

JB approaches the couch to join his son. “You’re allowed to be upset about your grade Yugyeom.”

“And I am.” Yugyeom smiles confidently at JB, taking him by surprise. “I’ve already given it a lot of thought and I've decided to try again, really study as hard as physically possible and then, if it doesn't improve, I'll go to cram school.”

“But what about your band? I know how important that is to you.”

“It is, but so are my grades. It was stupid of me to act like I didn't care. I don't want to rely on just my music if it doesn't work out.”

JB smiles, “You have me too you know.”

“But how does it look if I rely on my dad to get ahead?”

Pride grows in JB's chest which he struggles to hide. His silence allows Yugyeom to continue.

“I want to make sure I've tried everything I can on my own before I call out for help.” Yugyeom reaches out and gives his dad a hug. “And don't worry, when I need help, I'll ask Daddy Jinyoung.”

JB laughs but holds Yugyeom tightly. “Alright, fine.”

They separate and give each other final smiles. Yugyeom rises from the couch and stretches, happier than JB would have thought him to be. His youngest was always surprising him; although Yugyeom was his baby, and would always be his baby, he constantly matured exponentially fast and was a credit to his parents through and through.

“Bam Bam did amazing though dad,” Yugyeom explains through  the stretch, “You have to see his score…” Yugyeom is staring outside the window when his face transforms into one of concern. “Dad, what's going on with Mark and Daddy Jinyoung?”

“What do you mean?” JB stands up, following his gaze, just in time to see Jinyoung shove Mark backwards violently.

“Dad?”

“Stay here Yugyeom.” JB warns before rushing out the front door. He comes down the lawn just in time to see Mark walking away and Jinyoung standing on his own in shock.

“What's going on with you two?” Jinyoung turns to the sound of JB's voice.

“JB-”

“Was the reason he didn't come last night because of something that happened between you?”

Jinyoung grabs hold of JB's arm for support. “We just had a little falling out.”

“A little? Yugyeom and I just saw you shove him away from you.” 

“It's nothing, we just need to talk through it...Mark just won't listen to me right now.”

A million things whirr through JB's head so fast he can't begin to comprehend them all. If Jinyoung and Mark couldn't talk to each other, that meant their career goals were standing on shaky ground. That was something both of them cared a whole lot about so it made sense for Mark to be stressing about that. Losing each other would mean starting from scratch after years of hard work and that definitely couldn't happen. He couldn't believe he'd been angry just because his little brother hadn't showed up to his birthday, this was far more important. Considerably more.

“Just take a break for a while.” He suggests, neglecting to look at Jinyoung in this particular moment. “Come back together later when you've both calmed down, okay?”

He sees Jinyoung nod in the corner of his eye and that’s good enough for the moment. 

“Let's go back inside.”

Jinyoung steps ahead of him to walk up the drive. JB heaves a heavy sigh before following, shaking his head.

 

***

 

Yugyeom runs up the stairs to his and Bam Bam's room and swings the door open. 

“Uncle Mark and Daddy Jinyoung just started fighting outside!”

Bam Bam looks up from the game he is playing on his phone. “What?”

“Uncle Mark and Daddy Jinyoung.”

“They're fighting?”

“Yes!”

Bam Bam jumps up and heads towards the door, but Yugyeom grabs him by the scruff of his neck and pushes him back in the opposite direction. 

“What!?”

“You can't go down there!” Yugyeom cries.

“Why not?!”

“Cause daddy JB went to stop them and you'll get in the way!”

“Why the fuck did you tell me then?” Bam Bam complains, sitting back on his bed.

“Because something’s going on. I've never seen Daddy Jinyoung do something like that before.”

“What? Fight someone?” 

Yugyeom nods.

“YJ told me that Dad Jinyoung used to fight all the time. Daddy JB was the one who calmed him down.”

Yugyeom looks towards the door cautiously before sitting on his own bed. “Wow. Maybe that’s where you get it from.”

Bam Bam makes to hit his brother but stops when he hears the front door open. Both he and Yugyeom listen to the sounds of footsteps coming into the house but they don't hear anyone talking.

“What do you think Daddy JB said?” Yugyeom asks.

“Probably nothing. Whenever he and Jackson get into an argument, he usually doesn’t say anything.”

“He wasn’t having the argument though. It was Uncle Mark and Daddy Jinyoung.”

“And Uncle M is Dad JB’s brother. You think he won’t be on his brother’s side?”

They both sit and wait to see if they can hear anymore sounds, but all they do is end up hearing the beginnings of supper being made. 

Bam Bam sighs, picking up his phone. “Well, that’s disappointing.”

 

**Scene 2 - You two…**

 

Youngjae stares at the young woman in front of him as she talks about the dog she had when she was five years old. Her hair is dark with streaks of purple while her lipstick was a fascinating dark maroon. She was interesting enough to look at, but he had to admit that she wasn’t as interesting to talk too. Their dinner had consisted of her telling him about different animals she’d owned over the years and how she basically counted herself as a vet; she’d seen every possible illness an animal could have in her entire life and she felt that made her pretty qualified. She’d seemed far more engaging on the night he met her, at his favourite bar; back then she’d talked less...a lot less, and the hours they spent together weren’t hell, like this date… But Youngjae was ever polite, so he sat and listened to the apparent sickness of another animal, until he couldn’t take it anymore. He waits for a break in the conversation so that he can speak and say something heart wrenching like, his own pet had died recently and he was quite torn up about it, so he would have to go home...something like that, but when he opens his mouth, he realises a horrifying fact; he can’t remember her name.

Contrary to what the guys thought, Youngjae was considerate when he went out with women. He appreciated them, and whilst with them, he always wanted to know all about their lives, but sometimes, and this was rarely, he’d lose interest for a fraction of a second and important information would start leaking from his brain. He could remember every single pet she’d named in the last two hours but he couldn’t remember a name to go with her. It left him in a horrible position, because he didn’t want to seem rude, so he smiles and nods, attempting to look intrigued, as he tries to figure it out or wait for her to finish her numerous stories.

When the date eventually does end, she excuses herself on the grounds that her new pet needs meds at a specific time. When she stands he rises to gave her a bright smile, all polite, and watch her until she walks safely out of the restaurant door. When she’s finally was gone, he collapses in his chair with relief. He stares out the window while he waits for the bill and is surprised when he sees a pair of familiar backs walking away from him. The guy was definitely Jackson, he’d recognise his blonde hair anywhere, but the identity of his female companion was more surprising. If he was right in his guess, it was someone he hadn’t seen for years. Why would she be with Jackson? 

He hurries the bill payment along and steps outside to follow the duo, just to make sure what he saw was right and sees them walk towards a late night street market. Jackson stands in an offhandish way while the young woman with him walks from stall to stall marveling at different items. Her face lighting up makes Youngjae’s heart tremble and he ends up smiling himself. She flips her hair and her face finally becomes fully visible; his hunch was right, it was Raven, a woman he had clear memories of in earlier days, but not of her with Jackson. 

He wants to approach them but he sees Raven gesture for Jackson to stand closer to her. Before he knew it, Jackson was taking out his wallet to pay for whatever she had picked up, and this continued through the entire market with clothes, random items, and food. Jackson also looked nonplussed about it every single time. At this point, Youngjae was too curious to approach and instead decides to follow them and see where they split up for the night.

It takes a while. Raven drags Jackson to every store possible and by the end she’s the one holding his wallet instead of the other way around. Jackson wasn’t necessarily amazing with money, but this was a bit excessive by Youngjae’s standards as well. When they eventually exit the market, Youngjae sees them walk with significant space between them for a while. When they stop, it’s only because Raven stops first and Jackson notices having to force himself to stop walking as well. She gives him a playful smile and holds his wallet back out to him. Youngjae can’t hear what they’re saying, but it’s probably goodbye as Jackson grabs his wallet and proceeds to walk past her without looking back. She grabs his arm and he freezes, allowing her to place a long kiss on his cheek before he leaves. When he’s released, he walks away even faster. Youngjae hides behind a building when Jackson races past and wonders for a second where he’s going...but in the end, he’s far more interested in where Raven is going first. He’d see Jackson at work tomorrow, but Raven...Raven was far more unreachable. 

She walks on and Youngjae continues to follow her. She walks in no particular direction, but soon they come to the darker district of the city, where nightclubs and bars are far more frequent. Youngjae recognises a few of them but he doesn’t recall Raven being in any of the ones he frequented. She walks on a little more, until she reaches one of the largest on the street. Bypassing the line around the corner, she enters the building. Thankfully, Youngjae had been to this one before and was a VVIP member, so he also walks through. With darker lighting, it’s more difficult to follow and eventually he finds himself lost without direction. Surrounded by loud music and flashing lights, after a while he decides to give up until a hand grabs his wrist. He’s led backwards through bodies until they come to a room empty with brighter light. When his eyes adjust he smiles as he meets the face he really wanted to see; Raven.

“Hey YJ.” 

 

**Scene 3 - I know it’s late…**

 

After escaping Raven, Jackson heads straight towards JB’s house, knowing it’s late and he never got a reply to his message. Raven had dragged him from place to place and all his weak ass could do was follow and pay for everything she picked up. He felt like shit and the only way he’d feel better is if he saw JB. It was twisted, considering the circumstances, but it was all he could think about on his way across the city to JB’s neighborhood.

The lights were bright when he got there, but instead of using his key he knocks.  JB is the one who answers the door.

“Jackson?”

Jackson feels his heart beating loudly and finds that he’s been holding his breath. “I sent you a text.” He decides to pretend nothing’s going on. 

“Sorry, I didn’t get it...I’ve been…” JB trails off, but Jackson recognises his signature look of deep worry and concern and feels bad for arriving like this. 

“Actually, you know. I’ll just go, I’ll see you at work tomorrow anyway-”

“No, Jackson, you can come in. You can always come in, that’s why I gave you a key.” JB steps back and Jackson steps in, uncertain. Taking off his shoes, he sees the whole family sitting down to eat and he smiles in the kids direction. 

“Hey guys.”

“Hi Jackson-ahjussi!” Yugyeom calls out, always super polite.

“Hey.” Bam Bam calls out as well.

Jackson steps forward and ruffles the kids hair before turning to Jinyoung.

“Hey Jackson, what’s up?”

Jackson shrugs. “I thought I’d just come over and see what you guys were up too.”

“You were bored in your empty house weren’t you?” Bam suggests, looking directly up at him.

“Maybe I was.” He knocks Bam Bam in the head and promptly steals a bite of his food. “I hope I’m not bothering you or anything.”

“No.” JB comes up behind him and starts removing empty plates. “We were just finishing up anyway.”

“Why don’t I do this, while you go talk to Jackson?” Jinyoung reaches for the plates JB is holding. Jackson watches how JB passes over the plates with silent indifference. There was definitely something going on.

“Yugyeom, Bam Bam, you two go upstairs,” Jinyoung orders, “Either study or practice.” The two obediently stand up, Bam Bam grabbing one more mouthful of food before walking towards the stairs. 

JB watches Jinyoung quietly for a second as he picks up plates and bowls before Jinyoung gives him another look to go and one really cautious smile. JB nods, appreciative, and he and Jackson head towards his office. JB promptly shuts the door.

“What the hell’s going on here? I thought you and Jinyoung were okay again.”

“We are,” JB sighs, and leans against the wall with his eyes closed. His black hair falls away from his face and Jackson can see how tense his jawline is.

“Well you’re clearly not. What was that in the kitchen?”

JB opens his eyes and stares at Jackson. He doesn’t answer and it’s more than clear JB doesn’t want to talk about it. 

“What about you?” JB asks, when he decides to speak again. “What’s this text about?”

_ Shit _ . Jackson thought to himself.  _ He saw it.  _ “I…”

“What?”

Jackson takes a deep breath while staring at the floor. “I saw someone I didn’t want to see.”

“Who?”

“Raven.”

There’s silence from JB’s side of the room and Jackson has to look up to see what JB is thinking. His eyes are shaking. “Shit. Why didn’t you come sooner?”

“I tried, but you know how she is when she comes back. I couldn’t get away from her.”  
“What’s her excuse this time?”

“She needs… some support.”

“Support?” JB shakes his head in disbelief.

“She’s staying at my house, Jaebum.”

“What?” His voice rises in shock. “How the hell did she manage to stay at your house?”

“I just...I can’t say no to her, you know that.” Jackson’s voice loses its strength. “I treated her badly, you know that.”

“I do.”

“Wow,” he laughs sadly, “thanks.”

“But that doesn’t mean you have to continue being so nice. You broke up with her years ago Jackson, this is getting ridiculous. You should get a restraining order or something.”

“Should I?” Jackson says this with no conviction.

JB leans close to him, eyes fierce. “Yes.”

“Don't do that, it makes me want to kiss you.”

JB sits back quickly.

“Sorry. Sorry. I'm just in that place.”

JB doesn’t comment on the tangent and pinches the bridge of his nose to continue. “What are you planning on doing about it?”

“I don’t know.”

“Helpful.”

“Well, we know I can’ turn her away, and I could possibly get a restraining order but I feel like that’s extreme-”

“But what else are you going to do?”

Jackson shrugs. “I could stay here?” He inserts the idea awkwardly making Jb laugh.

“You actually want to stay here?”

“You have a spare room don’t you?”

“I could list a million reasons why that’s a terrible idea, the number one being that you hate my children.”

“Shhhhhh.” Jackson places a finger to JB’s lips and looks  playfully towards the ceiling in fear. “They might hear you.” He turns back to JB and his playfulness is immediately forgotten when he realises how close they are.

“And here,” JB whispers, “is reason number two.”

 

**Scene 4 - Around Twenty-Five years ago**

 

Jackson watches JB in the corner of his eye. Today he’d decided to show up to the lecture they shared in glasses and it captivated all of Jackson’s attention. While he takes down notes, he tries not to smile when JB looks over the rims of his specs, all studious and academic, but it doesn’t work; he ends up grinning like a fool the whole time. Jaebum catches him once, and shakes his head to discourage the behaviour, but Jackson can’t stop; there’s no way he can pay attention with that perfect image sitting only a few seats away from him. When the lecture ends, JB immediately calls him out on it. 

“Why weren't you paying attention?”

“I was.” Jackson winks, picking up his books to put in his bag. JB rolls his eyes and goes to take his glasses off.

“No don't!” Jackson shouts in alarm, “Keep them on. Their wire rimmed and gorgeous.”

JB gives Jackson the most adult look of disapproval and makes a big deal over taking off his glasses. This was an act of treason in Jackson's eyes so, with his bag full, he files out of the lecture hall behind JB until they escape the crowds of other students. When they are finally clear however, Jackson grabs JB's arm from behind and starts running.

“Jackson!” JB tries to hold back but Jackson has superior strength and willpower.

“Follow me or die.” He shouts, laughing, as they race past university buildings, over sidewalks, and around corners.

“We have another class in thirty minutes!”

“So, we'll get there.” Jackson runs into a side alley. “In thirty minutes.” Swinging JB around to the wall, Jackson smiles and gives him a kiss on the cheek. JB explodes.

“Do not tell me you dragged me all the way down here just too…” he drifts off, watching Jackson jokingly raise his eyebrows over and over with hilarious implications. He can't help but burst out laughing.

Jackson then teases him with a small kiss on the lips, and repeats, each time making the kiss last longer and grow more intimate. By the fourth time, they are fully entangled with each other, JB’s full weight against the wall of the partially dark alleyway. 

“Mark probably won't be back at the apartment yet you know.” Jackson whispers between kisses.

“We have...to go to class.”

“Can't we skip?”

“No, we can't.”

Jackson chooses not to acknowledge this fact and continues kissing JB until he absolutely has to come up for air.

“How can you want to go to class right now, this second, when you could have this?”

“I absolutely have to go to class right now, this second, because attendance is part of my grade, and I refuse to play hooky as easily as you do.”

“I always do it for you.”

JB smirks, “And I appreciate that.”

Jackson opens his mouth in mock shock at JB's savagery before placing his hand on the wall next to his head. “What if I don't let you leave?”

“What if indeed.”

They stare at each other intensely for a few seconds before Jackson breaks out the puppy dog begging. “Please skip, please. Please, please, please. Just this once. Just this one time.”

“No, Jackson. No.” Despite saying this JB smiles, heart secretly melting at Jackson's wide eyes.

“Please, please, please.”

“After.” Is JB's final reply. 

Jackson's eyebrow rises with interest. “After. What, after?” 

This time JB moves forward, placing his hand behind Jackson's head to give him the most intense kiss of his life. When it’s over, it leaves them both breathless.

JB moves his lips to Jackson's ear. “More of that...if you can stand the wait.” 

Without another word, JB walks away and Jackson can’t even find the strength to follow him. JB could stop his heart when he wanted too, and he loved when his boyfriend did that.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so fun to write. I was in such a silly mood when I wrote it and I loved writing the fluff at the end <3 <3 Were you surprised??? (YJ's was so hard to write but it had to be done :'( )


	8. Episode 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I'm so sorry I couldn't post two chapters last week, I've been so busy and I wasn't happy with how they turned out. TBH I'm still not entirely happy. I know what I want to happen but I don't know how to get there if that makes sense. I'll try and give you two this week but they may not be amazing, my apologies. I just have to get past them I figure for everything to be on track again.

**Scene 1 - Truth**

_ Despite trying to be playful, JB had truly shot himself in the foot teasing Jackson like that. They’d only just started seeing each other, and he knew how unpredictable Jackson could be; he could run into his lecture right now and shout that there was a family emergency just to get JB out of class. It sounds horrible, but Jackson would do it because he was an impatient guy all round.  _

_ JB spent the entirety of his lecture staring nervously at the door. When the session finally ends, he slowly makes his way out, looking around every corner to see if Jackson would pop up somewhere, but he doesn’t. It seems like the coast is clear until he makes it to the end of the hallway, where he is grabbed by a outstretched hand that clamps tightly onto his own. _

_ “We are going home.” Comes an intense deep whisper. “Now.” _

_ JB smiles, his heart racing. “Took you long enough.” _

 

_ *** _

 

_ JB hurries to put his shirt back on and makes a face of annoyance when he sees that Jackson isn’t doing the same. “What are you doing? Get up. Mark will be back soon.” _

_ “Why should I get up? This is my bedroom.” He stretches up, shoulders broadening before lying himself back on the bed. “I don’t know why you don’t want to tell him anyway.” _

_ “Because we’re his best friends. Why make him a third wheel like that?” JB rushes around, trying to find the rest of his clothes while Jackson just watches him. _

_ Gaining JB was a surprise; he never thought Jaebum would ever go for someone like him. They were complete opposites, and it seemed like friends was all they were ever going to be, but one night, after Mark had gone to sleep, they’d been alone together. They’d finished producing a project for a class and Jackson kept praising JB’s skills as a songwriter. JB kept saying it was Jackson's encouragement that really helped… and then JB started blushing and Jackson thought it was really cute... there was a silence and the rest is what anyone could imagine. They moved towards each other and had a genuine moment of bliss.  _

_ Jackson had never felt so immediately connected to a person until he became friends with JB, but being his boyfriend took it to a whole new level. Not only was every conversation electric, but seeing JB more open about his thoughts and feelings was a serious turn on. From the moment he’d met him, JB had been very closed off about how he felt, so any build up to him being annoyed or angry was unfounded and confusing. Now everything made sense, because JB trusted Jackson enough to show everything; or maybe it was that Jackson was noticing things more now that they were an item. Whatever was happening, Jackson loved it. It both scared and excited him. _

_ They’d never really talked about what they’d tell Mark, JB kind of just decided they weren’t going to tell him. Jackson could just about understand why, but watching JB shove on his clothes in a rush, he figured it was better to come out with the truth as soon as possible. _

_ “You should just tell him.” _

_ JB looks towards him from pulling on one sock. “What?” _

_ “Just tell Mark about us. It’ll be easier than this.” _

_ “Of course it would be, but I don’t know how he’ll react.” _

**_I do_ ** _. Jackson thinks to himself. He hops off the bed and finds his vest top. “I’ll go and tell him then.” _

_ “No, don’t.” JB grabs his arm before he makes it to the door. He squeezes. “Promise me you won’t tell him.” Jackson doesn’t answer so JB squeezes harder. “Promise.” _

_ Jackson sighs, finding all the secrecy really stupid, but nods in agreement. “I promise.” _

 

**Scene 2 - Playful Fight**

“Jaebum-”

“You should go.” He stares into Jackson’s eyes, but there’s no passion there. Jaebum had moved on a long, long, time ago.

“I didn’t mean too-”

“I get it. If it hadn’t turned out this way, I might have let you stay, but we can’t…plus, whenever Raven comes back to you, you revert back to someone you used to be, not who you are.”

“And who am I?”

JB smiles warmly, “My best friend. Someone I can always trust be there for me no matter what.”

Jackson despised that description but doesn’t complain about it. Even if he didn’t have JB’s heart anymore, he wanted to at least keep his trust, that was more important. 

He nods, leaning away. “I’ll go then...but tomorrow you have to tell me what’s going on with you and Jinyoung.”

“I’ll tell you once I figure it out myself.”

_ The plot thickens _ , Jackson thinks to himself. They leave the office and pass Jinyoung finishing up in the kitchen. 

“I’ll see you at work tomorrow then? No more days off?”

JB smiles, shaking his head, “Yes, you will see me. No more days off.”

Jinyoung turns and gives Jackson as small wave before he heads for the door.

“Oh, and Jackson,” JB calls to him, after he’s a few steps out the door, “Don’t let Raven control you.”

“I’ll try not to do that.”

 

***

 

Bam Bam and Yugyeom sit on opposite beds, Bam on his phone while Yugyeom is actually studying like his dad asked; he’s wearing his reading glasses and everything.

“What do you think Jackson came over to talk about?” Bam asks aloud.

Yugyeom shrugs, turning over a page in his history book. Bam watches his younger brother read for a second. 

“You okay?” He asks.

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, after yesterday...we never got to talk again.”

Yugyeom looks up and turns towards his brother. “I’m fine though.”

“Well yeah, but … I thought I’d check...” Bam trails off, trying to figure out how to ask about the girl situation, without asking about the girl situation. Luckily, his brother knows him well enough to figure this out.

He adjusts his glasses and smiles, “Oh, you want to know about Kes.”

“Well yeah.” He puts his phone down and jumps to the edge of his bed. “All I managed to find out about her is that she’s probably the smartest girl in our year and that she’s in your band.”

“She’s the guitarist. We met her last year when she changed schools, I can’t believe you don’t remember her.”

“What?” Bam Bam thinks back into his terrible memory but finds nothing.

“Bam you showed her around the school. You introduced her to me.”

Bam’s eyebrows scrunch up. “Really? Is my memory that bad?”

“Yes.” Yugyeom reaches across the space and flicks his brother on the head. “It’s a wonder you passed your exams.”

Bam shrugs sheepishly. “It doesn’t matter.”

Yugyeom turns back to his book. “Don’t act like it’s no big deal just because of me. I know you want to brag about it.”

He did, but that was besides the point. “That would be mean.”

“And like I said, I’m used to you being mean to me.”

“I’m the best brother you’ve ever had.”

“Yeah, right.”

Bam throws his pillow at his brother, which screws up his glasses. Bam tries to cover up his laugh but it’s pretty loud. Yugyeom turns to him and takes off the glasses with deadly precision. 

“You’re dead!”

There’s a lot of yelling as the boys playfully fight each other, teasing about this and that, but no-one could argue that they weren't close. Bam loved his brother and vice versa; at this point, it seemed nothing could come between them.

 

**Scene 3 - Work Day**

 

As promised, JB turns up to work bright and early the next day. He was even early enough to see Jackson stroll in late, drinking one of his protein shakes. He gives a playful disapproving look and shakes his head when he walks into the office.

“Shut up, alright.” He tells him, collapsing into the chair behind his desk. “I’ve had a shitty night. At least you’re here.”

“What happened after you left? Did you go home?”

“Of course I didn’t go home. I walked around all night until I found a cheap hotel and then I slept there. “

“Surely she doesn’t have a key to your house?”

“I locked the door and everything, but it wouldn’t surprise me if she stole one of my keys when she took my wallet the other day.”

“She took your wallet? You didn’t tell me that.”

“I didn’t get the chance.”

JB is silent for a second, and messes with the pen in his hands. “I can’t really apologise for kicking you out.”

“Course not,” Jackson shakes it off, and takes a sip of his shake, “But you did promise to tell me what was going on last night.”

JB sighs. “I have no idea.”

“What do you mean you have no idea?”

“When was the last time you had a good conversation with Mark?” JB asks.

“Um, tangent-”

“The night I asked you, you said you were going to see him later that night, but I assume you were talking about the party rather than actually seeing him.”

“Yeah…”

“Why don’t you guys hang out anymore?”

“Because Jinyoung became his new best friend. When they started working together, they were practically inseparable and I kind of got pushed out of the picture.” 

JB couldn’t fault that because he also knew it to be true. Maybe it wasn’t so true now, but it had been at one point.

“Plus, with us working all the time, and those two working all the time, when do I really get a chance to see your brother other than when we have work parties or family parties, and we’re lucky enough that he doesn’t escape in silence without anyone noticing?”

This was true too.

“I do miss the days when we lived together though.” Jackson stated sarcastically.

“Stop.”

Jackson continues, his voice pitched up to whine. “At least I always had somewhere to go or someone to come home too when things went wrong.”

“You do have someone to go home to, you just chose not to go.”

“JB!” Jackson clocks him with his hand in shock while JB laughs. 

“You asked for that. Stop complaining.”

 

***

 

Youngjae walks into work feeling happy. After meeting Raven again, he couldn’t imagine a better day. They sat and talked for what felt like hours, and Raven had said how happy she was to see him again. He had wanted to ask about Jackson, but he was too swept in the moment to remember to bring it up. She was there, in his life again and he could only smile and watch her eyes twinkle and her lips move. They talked, they danced and she gave him her number, promising him that they would meet up again.

When he sees JB and Jackson, he flashes them a big smile and sits down in their office. His good mood is hard to hide and Jackson is the first one to question it. 

“Someone had a good date last night.”

“No. I just met someone again that I didn’t expect to see.”

“You’re not the only one that’s happened to recently.” JB mumbles, causing Jackson to roll up a piece of paper and throw it at him.

Despite their playfulness, this intrigues Youngjae because he thinks he knows who it is. “Really?”

“His ex-girlfriend is back.”

“What?” Youngjae’s smile falters a little bit as he hears this, because this is not what he was expecting.

“I don't want to talk about this.” Jackson cries but JB completely ignores him, moving his chair closer to Youngjae. YJ leans in to listen.

“She’s a tiny bit crazy.” JB adds causing Jackson to fully slam his head onto the desk. 

“Oh.” YJ has no idea how to reply to that, but JB doesn’t notice; he’s too busy enjoying his time teasing Jackson, which was at least more pleasant than the two of them teasing Youngjae. Despite not understanding, Youngjae jumps onto this train, hoping fun is where it leads. “So, what’s her name?”

“Raven.”

Youngjae’s stomach nearly hits the floor. “Her name is...what?”

“Raven Ivy James.” Jackson calls out from his place on the desk. “Worst mistake of my life.”

“I think you’re the worst mistake of her life actually.” JB tells him, winking in Youngjae’s direction.

Jackson raises his head, a red mark showing on his forehead. “Alright! Thanks for that.”

“I’m just telling it how it is.”

Jackson and JB keep bickering with each other but Youngjae is too far gone to listen. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing, but if it was true, that meant he and Jackson had the same ex-girlfriend and that made no fucking sense.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope that wasn't too shocking. I know it wasn't a lot, but it was just to round off what happened before. Like I said I'm trying to get back on track. Hopefully there will be another chapter this week if I get my thoughts together, then everything will be okay :D


	9. Episode 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is better ;) Enjoy! (Italics in the beginning mean flashback :* )

**Scene 1 - Raven x Youngjae**

_ Youngjae runs into the building already late, and takes a minute to shake the rain from his coat. He was supposed to be in the studio forty minutes ago, but he hoped the guys would understand. Arriving in the room though, it was clear that they did not. _

_ “You can’t keep doing this Youngjae.” JB tells him through the microphone as they set up. “There’s a schedule for a reason. You’re taking time away from other artists.” _

_ “I know. I’m sorry.” _

_ “There’s a debut set to happen two days from now and their recordings aren’t even finished yet because of you coming in later and later. There’s only so much priority we can give you.” _

_ “I know.” _

_ “So since you know, stop fucking it up.” Jackson jokes, before turning the microphone off and letting the music play. _

_ To his credit, Youngjae doesn’t need many takes to to get his song right, but on principle the guys don’t compliment him on it like they usually would. He felt sorry for causing trouble but he also didn’t. He’d never been so happy that it made him forget about his surroundings and real life. Being with Raven did that and it was hard to hide. _

_ With his recording done, he has to head straight to dance practice. As he walks,  Jackson and a slightly less grumpy JB join him. _

_ “We know _ **_why_ ** _ you’re late but we’ve never  _ **_seen_ ** _ why you’re late. We wouldn’t mind so much if we could actually see the girl you’re dating.” Jackson teases as they make their way to the main building. _

_ “One day you will, but for now, she wants so stay unknown.” _

_ “That was her choice?” _

_ “Yeah.” Youngjae smiles. “She doesn’t want me lose any fans so she said she’d stay out of the limelight for a while.” _

_ JB laughs, “I think she’s just covering her own ass so it doesn’t get attacked by angry fans over the internet. Better yet, she doesn’t get attacked by any angry ex-girlfriends.” _

_ Youngjae pushes JB and the songwriter pushes back, showing he was fully okay again. Having JB on your good side was far more beneficial than having him on your bad. On his bad...well, Youngjae had already tried to write his own songs and that hadn't worked out as well as he’d hoped. JB was there as a rescue blanket until he had more experience. He really couldn’t risk pissing him off. _

_ “You can’t even tell us her name?” Jackson continues. “Or do you not remember it?” _

_ Youngjae’s phone rings as he shouts at them. “THAT WAS ONE TIME!”  _

_ “Quick grab his phone! It might be her.” Both Jackson and JB laugh as each tries to steal Youngjae’s phone out of his pocket. He narrowly escapes and manages to keep the caller ID to himself. _

_ “Is it her?” Jackson asks and Youngjae nods defiantly. He answers and holds the phone to his ear, signaling that they’re conversation should be over, but Jackson still pulls a few faces and reached out to grab Youngjae’s phone a couple more times with no success. JB is the one to drag him off before Youngjae is finally left alone. _

_ “Sorry,” comes the voice from the other end, “I didn’t mean to call you so early. I just wanted to apologise again for making you late.” _

_ “Don’t worry about it, the guys understand.” _

_ “Good. You’re lucky to be so close to them.” _

_ He shrugs, “No I’m not. They keep wanting to meet you.” _

_ “Meet me? What did you tell them?” _

_ “Well, I said no. What else could I say?” _

_ “I feel bad though. I don’t want them to think I’m avoiding them or anything. Was JB angry?” _

_ “No, they understand. It’s more like Jackson to be the angry one but he’s just looking for something to tease me with,” _

_ He hears her quiet laugh echo over the phone. “He seems like such a fun guy.” _

_ “You’d probably like him. You tease me probably just as much as he does.” _

_ “No I don’t!” _

_ Youngjae laughs, “Yes you do. But I love it. It’s alright if you ever did want to meet them,” he adds. “They won’t tell anyone.” _

_ “No, no. I don’t want to be near anyone that important. I might explode. You go though. I’m keeping you from something aren’t I?” _

_ Dance practice had actually slipped his mind, and as if on queue, the choreographer came down the hallway looking for him. He looks less than impressed.  _

_ “Yeah, I’m going to have to go. Love you, Rae.” _

_ “Love you too, Youngjae.” _

 

**Scene 2 - Raven x Jackson?**

The things he’d heard bounced around Youngjae’s head for the rest of day, ruining most of his practice and recording time. He was locked in shock and it was hard for him to focus, so hard in fact, that most of his coordinators told him to leave and take some time for himself. It wasn’t that he was depressed, he was just confused, and when he finally woke himself up enough out of, he finally began trying to understand what exactly was going on. He sat with JB and Jackson on their lunch break and tried to ease Raven back into the conversation.

“So what exactly happened with this Raven..person?”

Jackson sighs into his noodles. “Can we please not talk about this?” 

“No, no, I want to know. The amount of time you spend learning things about my romantic relationships…”

“Guys got a point, Jackson.” After that morning, JB had been on a roll. If Youngjae wasn’t so confused, it would have been fun to see him this way.

“Fine, you tell him. How much would you know anyway?”

“He dated her for two years, and in that two years, he was a bit of a prick.”

Jackson rolls his eyes and once again allows his head to connect with a table.

“She put her heart and soul into their relationship and this idiot,” he squeezes Jackson’s neck, “didn’t do much of the same.”

Jackson raises his head slightly to speak. “I think she loved me more than I loved her, which was perfectly fine-”

“But you have to admit you weren’t ready for the relationship and you didn’t take into consideration her feelings, so-”

“Was this before or after you started the company?” Youngjae cuts them off before they get too far into it.

JB blinks rapidly in thought before coming up with the answer. “Before. It was definitely before because otherwise I can see this guy using work as an excuse for treating her like trash.”

The bickering continues while Youngjae goes back into his own mind to process. If Jackson had dated Raven before they opened the company, that meant he would have known Raven first...that also meant that Raven knew exactly who Jackson was even though she’d said she’d never met him. Even though this was true, Youngjae specifically remembered Raven asking about him all the time; wanting to know what his producer was like, if he treated him well. If he was a happy person...

“Why are you being so harsh?” Jackson calls out, his voice far angrier than when Youngjae had last been involved in the conversation. 

JB smiles, clearly thinking theres no weight in what he’s saying. “I’m not being harsh, I’m just telling the truth.”

“You think I personally went out of my way to treat her that badly?”

“I just know that if you treated her better, you wouldn’t be in your current situation.”

“You mean if I had treated  **you** better? Cause that’s obviously what all of this is about, isn’t it?”

There’s silence as both JB and Jackson stare at each other. Youngjae is even shocked by where the conversation has lead.

“It’s...it’s not.” JB fumbles through his words, seemingly confused by the change in conversation.

“Well, it is for me.” Jackson stands up and walks out of the cafeteria with JB still sitting in his seat, starstruck. 

“Did I miss something?” Youngjae asks.

“Probably.” JB murmurs. “I think I missed something too.”

“You going to go after him?”

JB stares into space for a couple seconds before sighing and nodding his head. Youngjae watches him leave. He might have inadvertently created a domestic between his bosses, so maybe it was a good thing he was no left alone. He had a lot to think about.   
  


**Scene 3 - I’m Sorry**

JB replays the conversation over and over in head and realises he went too far with Jackson. He really should have known better but he’d carried on anyway without even realising where the conversation would lead. He walks around looking for Jackson, only to find him not in their office but in the bathroom.

“Hey.” He calls to him softly. Jackson turns but doesn’t say anything. “I shouldn’t have gone as far as I did. I’m sorry.”

Jackson shakes his head and smiles, “You think I’m really angry?”

JB folds his arms and leans against the wall. “Well you did storm off and hide in the bathroom of all places.”

“Yeah.” He laughs. “I did didn’t I.” He sighs and joins JB leaning on the wall, eyes briefly closing. “Sorry about that. It’s just hard-” Pushing his hair back he looks at the ceiling instead of at JB. “Sometimes, I’m okay and then sometimes I get hit by old feelings that haven’t gone away.”

“If it’s because of Raven-”

“No,” he looks back at JB, eyes bleeding conviction, “It’s not just because of Raven.”

“Jackson-”

“I’m still in love with you, you know that. It didn’t change after we broke up, after you started dating Jinyoung, when you married him, or even after I started dating Raven. That’s why our relationship turned into shit in the first place, because I was still in love with you the whole time I was with her, and I’m still in love with you now.” He sighs again and lifts a hand as if to touch JB’s face but drops it almost immediately, exhausted. His eyes turn towards the floor. “I’m so lucky you’re still even able to be my friend at this point...because, my feelings...you know their still there.”

“I do know. I’m sorry.”

“I’m scared one day, I’m going to break and ruin everything. You mean too much for me for that to happen...” He takes a deep breath and smiles, lifting his eyes, “So don’t push me too far.” 

“I won’t. I promise.”

Jackson nods and stands up straight. “Good.”

JB feels a slight weight crawl into his chest but he tries to ignore it. Jackson was feeling better and that was all that mattered for now. “Shall we get back to work then? Stray Kids are waiting in the recording studio.”

“Oh my god, yes! I love those brats!” Jackson rushes past JB, enthusiasm re-established, and JB simply shakes his head and smiles, like he always does when faced with Jackson’s many emotions.

“Please. Please have some composure.”

 

 

**Scene 4 - Recon * <*/*>***

At the end of school, Bam originally planned to head to the PC rooms down the road, but it occurs to him that he could instead crash Yugyeom’s band practice to see who this Kes girl was. He smiles as he turns around and practically runs towards the band room. 

There’s some sound coming from inside when he gets there, but nothing that sounds like music. He peers around the corner and spies a drummer absentmindedly hitting out a beat, while a bassist strums one string constantly with no sense of rhythm. Peering in a little further, he sees his brother on the other side of the room in front of his keyboard smiling, and in front of him is the guitarist Bam Bam is searching for, Kes. 

Asking around again, this time targeting the girl’s in their year, he found out that her full name was Kestrel Sorra, which was weird, and explained why she went by the abbreviated Kes. She was british on her mother’s side and Korean on her father’s. She’d transferred from her english school about a year ago and Bam Bam had in fact showed her around school.

Forgetting that his head is just hanging in the air in front of the door, the band members stop playing around when they notice. Yugyeom notices third and his eyes widen when he recognises his own brother. He steps out from behind his keyboard,  excusing himself from his conversation with Kes, and approaches his brother like he might cut his head off.

“Can I help you?” He asks, looking down from his six foot frame. Bam stands up, but is effectively looking up to his little brother from his still tall, but not as tall as Yugyeom, 5’10” frame.

“I just came to watch.”

“Well, you can’t.” Yugyeom whispers. 

“Aww please? I won’t make any noise.”

Yugyeom's eyes get bigger, as if he’s ready to physically push his brother out of the door but Kes’s voice from behind stops him.

“Let him stay Yugi, I don’t mind.”

Bam Bam mouths the word ‘Yugi’ with interest but Yugyeom simply turns away, refusing to acknowledge his brother’s teasing. He heads back to his keyboard and the band automatically get ready to start playing. Bam heads towards the only seat in the room, which happens to be near Yugyeom’s side, and smiles wide with wonder, ready to witness some chemistry. Yugyeom looks at his brother in the corner of his eye once, with warning, but ignores him thereafter. The drums to start and the song begins. 

The song is relatively good; it turns out to be a pretty upbeat song about romance in the winter time. Bam Bam isn’t really paying attention to the words however. He is too busy watching Kes and Yugyeom. As they are both lead singers, they sing most of the lyrics equally but in-between turns taken, Bam notices little moments where they steal cute glances at each other. Bam Bam has to physically stop himself from making faces in excitement; they were just too cute. 

They practice a couple more songs, in between which Yugyeom darts Bam Bam a look every now and then, but Bam is just sitting there beaming. At one point he even puts his hands on his cheeks. He’s sad when it’s all over and reluctantly stands up to go when everyone else does. He waits for his brother and watches as everyone leaves first except for Kes and Yugyeom.

“Today wasn’t too bad.” Kes tells ‘Yugi’ with a smile.

“It was good enough, considering I missed a practice.”

“How is studying going?”

“Fine, I guess.”

Kes pulls her backpack onto her shoulder. “Sure you don’t want my help? I’m a good teacher.” 

Yugyeom shakes his head and gives her a bright smile when he replies. “No that’s okay.”

“You can do this.” She raises a fist and utters the words Bam Bam never knew he wanted to see his brother hear. “Fighting!”

Bam sees the beginnings of a Yugyeom blush, but to his credit, Yugyeom catches the look on his brothers face and tries to hide it.

“See you later, Yugi.”

“See ya, Kes.” he says through gritted teeth. When she’s finally out of the room, Yugyeom attacks his brother with his bag but Bam Bam can’t help but laugh.

“You and her are so cute!”

“Shut up!”

“My little brother is all grown up.”

“Stop it now!”

After a couple more hits, they finally make it out of the room and start making their way out of school.

“It was so cute how you blushed when she cheered you on.”

Yugyeom, no longer angry, coves his cheeks with his hands, now aware that he did blush “She’s never said that before. I didn’t expect it.”

“Why? ‘Cause she’s british?”

Yugyeom stops and looks at his brother, confused. “How did you know that?”

Bam shrugs, but that only causes his brother to hit him again.

“Stop going around and trying to find out about her! She probably knows your asking weird questions around school!”

“I just want to make sure she’s right for you.”

“Bam Bam!!” This starts a whole cat and mouse chase that lasts pretty much the whole way home. Bam Bam loves it all.   
  


 

**Scene 5 - Back to Business**

Jinyoung sits down to a meal with his whole family. Bam Bam and Yugyeom seem to be in a happy mood, while JB looks like he had a good day at work. Tonight they were even having his favourite, pizza, but he couldn’t really enjoy it as his phone kept going off every five seconds.

“Don’t you think you should answer that?” JB asks him, reaching out to grab another slice.

“No.” he smiles, “It’s fine.” His phone buzzes in his pocket.

“What if it’s Mark?” JB says under his breath.

It was in fact Mark and Jinyoung knew it was Mark because he’d been avoiding his brother-in-law’s calls all day.

“I think you should look at what it says.” JB added, eyebrows raised showing that his suggestion wasn’t really a suggestion. Jinyoung didn’t want too but in front of JB what could he do. He smiles again, but it’s forced, and pulls out his phone to look at all the notifications. There were about twenty missed calls total for the whole day, but all the rest were texts.

 

**_Missed call from Mark._ **

**_Missed call from Mark._ **

**_Missed call from Mark._ **

 

_ 9:00am _

_ Can you pick up the phone? I really need to talk to you. _

 

_ 9:02am _

_ You can’t seriously be ignoring me. We’re supposed to go to the art gallery today. _

 

_ 9:04am _

_ I have no idea where it is. You know I have no sense of direction. _

 

**_Missed call from Mark._ **

 

_ 9:15am _

_ Did you ditch me and go by yourself? _

 

**_Missed call from Mark._ **

 

_ 10:20am _

_ Jinyoung, answer your phone. _

 

_ 10:35am  _

_ You’re going to have to answer at some point, I really need to talk to you. _

 

_ 10:45am _

_ Jinyoung, I’m serious.  _

 

**_Missed call from Mark._ **

**_Missed call from Mark._ **

 

_ 11:00am _

_ This has nothing to do with us, I just really need you to answer. _

 

**_Missed call from Mark._ **

**_Missed call from Mark._ **

**_Missed call from Mark._ **

**_Missed call from Mark._ **

**_Missed call from Mark._ **

**_Missed call from Mark._ **

**_Missed call from Mark._ **

 

_ 7:00pm _

_ THE RESULTS FROM OUR PROPOSAL ARE OUT. _

 

_ Oh shit _ , Jinyoung thinks to himself as he dials Mark’s number. In the corner of his eye, he sees JB watching him. Mark picks up on the second ring.

“Jesus christ, can you be anymore absent-”

“Did we get it?” Jinyoung bypasses conversation, heading straight for the important information. “Did we get through to the second round?”

The rest of the table quietens when the hear what the conversation is about. JB even reaches out a hand for Jinyoung’s which is clenched on the table.

Mark sighs, and holds the silence for as long as dramatically possible before laughing. “Yes, we got through.”

Jinyoung squeezes JB’s hand and smiles wide. JB in turn relays the information to the kids.

“You’re dad got through to the second round of his architect competition.”

“WOOOOO!!!!” Bam Bam screams.

Yugyeom claps and laughs while JB only squeezes Jinyoung’s hand back. There’s pride shining in his eyes, and a tiny bit of hope too. At least there was some good news at least.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOhhhhh, thought I forgot about the competition didn't you, but I didn't. This means Jinyoung and Mark are going to have to work together againnnnnnnnnn. Or will they???? o.O


	10. Episode 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your patience! I did get all my assessments out of the way and also did half of an essay so yay! Sorry this is kinda short though.

**Scene 1 - Can you?**

Mark had had a bad day, there was no sugar coating it. 

Being ignored by Jinyoung was probably worse than anything Mark had felt in the past few weeks. It tugged at his heart and made him feel angry and lost but mostly forgotten. In the moments they had no contact, it seemed so easy, and possible, for Jinyoung to simply drop him from his life and if that happened, Mark really had no-one. It was so isolating and harsh, he wondered if he had gone too far...there were thoughts like that…

Then there were darker thoughts that made him keep calling. Thoughts that told him this was completely unfair. It was hard enough for him to act on and express his feelings, and, despite everything that was wrong about it, Jinyoung had no right to ignore him, especially when it came down to work. Work was work and Mark would never sacrifice that for any reason...it was part of the reason he and Jinyoung got on so well, so when Jinyoung finally did call him, he was ready to cry tears of joy and rip the shreds out of his own business partner...but of course, Jinyoung had a way of bypassing all of that to get to the real issues.

“Did we get it? Did we get through to the second round?” 

It’s hard to be angry when something amazing happens, so instead he laughs and takes a dramatic pause before saying, “Yes, we got through.”

Through the phone he hears the cheers of Bam Bam and knows JB is probably smiling with pride, his youngest son a complete mirror of him. There’s a few seconds delay before Jinyoung speaks back up.

“That’s...great.”

“Don’t act underwhelmed.”

“I’m not...I’m just…” he drifts off and silence flits through the call that neither of them can fill. There’s a whisper and then a sigh comes out of Jinyoung. “Are you free now?”

“Yes.” Mark’s answer is immediate. “Yes, I’m free now.”

“Can we meet? At the convenience store...on the corner of your street in thirty minutes.”

“Yes.”

“...Good. I’ll see you then.”

“Ok.” 

Jinyoung hangs up quickly but it’s sufficient enough to make Mark’s heart skip a beat. Anxiety takes a hold of his mind and he panics not knowing what he’s going to say. His brain stays that way for the entire walk to the store, and he has to get a ramen to give his brain something to focus on.

Jinyoung arrives thirty minutes later, dressed in a hoodie to cover his head from the rain. He steps in and removes it, revealing dark hair swept to the side but still hanging over the rims of his glasses. He must have been ready for bed when Mark called.

His eyes first focus on the ramen in Mark’s hands and in an instant, he turns away to buy his own and Mark had to wait an agonising few minutes for him to return with it. When he does, he leans on the counter with his elbows and looks out of the window rather than looking at Mark which made it impossible to see how he was feeling.

“When did you get the news?”

“Around six. I kept trying to call you.”

Jinyoung looks down and begins stirring his ramen, the steam fogging up his glasses. “I know. Sorry I didn’t pick up.”

“It’s okay.”

Jinyoung shakes his head and silence falls between them again. Mark’s heart is beating so loudly he feels like it’s New Year’s Eve again. 

“I just don’t know what to do in this situation.” Jinyoung tells him, still looking out at the rain. “I want to keep working on this project with you-”

“-So do I.” He butts in before Jinyoung can finish. He berates himself for sounding  desperate.

“Well...good. That’s good.” He picks at his food. “But Mark...I don’t...I don’t know what to do with what you’ve told me. I don’t understand why this happened… unless you’ve been lying to me for a long time, and if you have… I don’t know what to do.   I want to just…”

_ Don’t say ‘ignore it’ _ , Mark thinks to himself.  _ Anything but that. _

“Get past it.” That wasn’t much better in Mark’s eyes. “I want us to work, and create a company together like we planned; because we’re good work partners-”

“And we still can be.” Mark reaches out but pulls back as soon as he catches himself. “I promise to keep work separate from everything else.”

For the first time, Jinyoung looks up at Mark and his heart melts just a little bit form the eye contact. His eyes aren’t harsh..he’s never been harsh with Mark, maybe stern but never harsh and it was one of the things he loved the most about him.

“Can you?” He lets go of his Ramen and instead holds tightly to the counter. “Can you keep things separate from your feelings?”

Mark thinks through every possible scenario of things getting blurry and there’s a second of hesitation but he wants to overcome it.

Jinyoung continues, “I want our partnership to work. I want us to stay friends and I don’t want JB to find out about  **any** of this. That’s what I want. Can you do that?”

“Yes.” It wasn’t confidence that backed up Mark’s strong answer. 

 

**Scene 2 - Tell me the truth.**

Youngjae walks down the street with his head low. Work had been difficult with his head on so many different things, the most important one being the fact that Raven had been lying to him. If she really was both his and Jackson’s ex-girlfriend, than she had obviously come out of a bad relationship looking for a better one; she understandably didn’t want Youngjae to know she knew Jackson because it would have been just be too awkward.

Seeing her before, she’d asked to meet up with him again, so he was walking to meet her now. If this had been the day before, he would have been the happiest he’s ever been; he’d missed Raven...he’d been with her with his whole heart and nothing else had felt the same for a long time...but now he was questioning the time they’d had together and it only succeeded in making his heart hurt. 

He walks into a cafe and looks up to see her immediately smiling and waving him over. He tries to smile back but it’s beyond him and he simply walks over and takes a seat.

“How was work?” She asks, smiling brightly. 

His eyebrows rise as he tries to think of a good answer. “Interesting.”

“That’s good. I still listen to your music you know.” She muses, and he watches her, now wondering if all of this is a fantasy. “You’ve stayed pretty high in the charts despite moving to a smaller company.”

“It’s JB’s songwriting.”

She laughs. “I think it’s your voice.”

“It could be.” he laughs nervously, “But I was always told I have a good production team around me. Jackson won an award for producing one of my tracks last year.” Testing the water, he brings up Jackson’s name but she doesn’t even blink.

“That’s amazing. He’s so good at his job. Producing every track...that sounds so hard.”

“It is.” She obviously wasn't going to get to the issue on her own and he wouldn't be able to relax until he understood what had been going on, so he had to get down to it. It hadn’t been his best plan of action all day, but he couldn’t not do it. “Raven?”

She looks up from drinking her iced tea and smiles her amazing smile. “Yeah.”

“Did you know Jackson before you knew me?”

To her credit, she looks confused over this question. “What do you mean?”

“I mean did you know him, Rae. It’s a yes or no.”

She stares at him for a second before looking at the ground embarrassed. “It seems like you already know the answer.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before? Did you think I couldn’t handle it or something?”

She looks up quickly, desperation on her face, “No no. I just didn’t want to make it awkward for you. I...I just…”

“What?”

“How much do you know?”

“He’s your ex. That’s what I know. You dated him before me.”

Her face falls and she nods, playing with her fingers. “Oh.”

“Is there more?”

She shakes her head but he knows she’s hiding something else.

“If there’s more...you can tell me.”

“Jackson is from a dark part of my past Youngjae, I really didn’t want to tell you about it because I know how...protective you can be.” He tries to understand what she’s getting at but it’s difficult. She continues. “I didn’t want you to know because you all seemed so close to each other and I didn’t want to ruin that.”

Her face is so dark, and her words so quiet, Youngjae is leaning in just to hear what she is saying.

“Ruin it how?”

“Jackson and I didn’t have a good relationship.”

“Well I knew that, the guys admitted as much.”

“Youngjae…” she sighs and looks up at him, brown eyes shaking. “Jackson...he...he used to hit me.”

 

**Scene 3 - Did you wait up for me?**

Jinyoung drops his keys down on the table after he shuts the door and heaves out a deep sigh. His shoulders felt so heavy, even walking from the front door to the kitchen to get some water was laborious. He couldn’t believe he had given Mark another chance. There was a foreboding feeling in the pit of his stomach that wouldn’t completely disappear. 

When he’d entered the shop, he noticed immediately the desolation in Mark’s eyes. When they’d caught a glance of each other, his face turned immediately to relief and happiness and Jinyoung didn’t know how to feel about that. Then they’d talked and he’d been so eager to get things back to normal, how could Jinyoung deny him?

That wasn’t wrong was it? At least for now there was peace and JB didn’t have to know about what his brother had done. Jinyoung hated the idea of being the reason they fought, so for now this was simpler. *

With all those problems laid to rest for now, Jinyoung makes his way upstairs to the bedroom only to find JB still awake and reading under lamplight. 

He’s surprised. “Did you wait up for me?”

JB looks over the rims of his glasses and turns a page in his book. “Of course I did. I’m the one who made you go. I wanted to make sure everything went okay.”

Jinyoung walks to JB’s side of the bed, falls to his knees and hugs his husband around the middle. JB looks down at him in amazement.

“What happened?” he asks.

“Nothing. I just want to hug you.”

JB smiles and closes his book. He takes Jinyoung in his arms and helps him rise up so they are at eye level; his eyes are relaxed and warm.

“Did you guys make up?”

Jinyoung nods, pouting like a child. It makes JB smile wider. 

“Are you guys getting together to work this week?”

He nods again, making the movement bigger.

“Good. I’m proud of you.” He places his hands on either side of Jinyoung’s head and tilts it downwards so he can give his forehead a kiss. Jinyoung feels himself lighten from this one action and when JB lifts his head back up again, he’s beaming.

“You’re so good to me.” He says.

“I am good to you.” 

Jinyoung laughs and JB pushes him away from the bed to make space. Jinyoung fits himself in under the crook of his arm and they both look up at the book he’s holding and read until they both fall asleep. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what you call the calm before a double edged sword.
> 
> Youngjae: Raven is an angel!  
> Jackson + JB: Raven is a psycho.  
> Who is right? o.O  
> *  
> *  
> *  
> *  
> Me: *cough* Raven. Is. A. Bitch. *cough*


	11. Episode 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I owe you some chapters. Especially after the Youngjae stuff that happened last time.

**Scene 1 - Tell me the truth [Part 2]**

Youngjae can barely understand the words she’s said. “He...he what?”

Raven hugs her arm and smiles sadly. “I didn’t want to tell you because he’s your boss and you have such a good relationship with him.”

“No, Raven...go back.”

She looks up at him from wide eyes. 

“What exactly do you mean?” he asks.

She hunches over in her chair allowing hair to fall into her face. “We used to get into arguments all the time. They were usually my fault and he’d get so worked up about it. At first he’d joke his way out of them and apologise but, as time went on, he got more and more frustrated with me. 

I was trying to be the girlfriend he wanted, but in the end I could never get it right. He got so angry about it that he...well...” she trails off and lifts her head up. A tear trails down her cheek and she hastily tries to wipe it away. His heart clenches and anger swells. He grabs her arm and stands up.

“Let’s go.”

“Where are we going?” She asks, alarmed. 

His voice is low, “Where do you think?” He drags her out of the cafe and onto the street and begins walking in the direction that would take him to Jackson’s apartment.

“Wait, Youngjae, you can’t do this.”

“Why not?”

“Youngjae!” she shouts as they reach a crosswalk. She pulls her arm away and he turns, eyes cold. 

“He hurt you! You expect me to just stand here and do nothing?! Act like I know nothing?!” 

“Yes!”

He stares at her while she fixes her hair and takes a deep breath. “I never should have told you.” She says trying to calm him down. “He's your boss. It'll only make things hard on you.”

“You think I care about my career right now?” He pulls his own hair back, annoyed that they’re even having this conversation.

“It’s all in the past anyway! What’s the point of bringing it up now?”

“Because it’s not in  **my** past. It exists in my present, right now.” Tears are falling from her eyes more frequently now and his anger melts just a little bit so he can reach out and wipe them away. “You telling me this now is like it just happened...and I can’t even imagine it, because I still love you.”

She smiles through the tears. “If you do love me then do this one thing for me.” He goes to shake his head but she keeps hold of him. “Please. At least until your career is safe.” It took everything he had not to say no. He wanted the confrontation. He wanted to fight for his girl, but he knew she would hate that. With his level of fame it would escalate and before he knew it, she might have her name all over the media and above all she would hate that too...so he had to stop.

“I can’t promise I won’t hurt him.”

She sighs into his hand. “As long as it doesn't affect your career, then...it’s fine.”

 

**Scene 2 - *Smiling***

Raven steps into Jackson’s apartment with a smirk on her face. Her make-up was ruined but she rubbed at it with cleanser in the mirror next to the door, not even acknowledging Jackson who was cooking in the kitchen. 

“Someone seems happy,” he remarks, going back to cutting vegetables.

“Someone seems to be home.” She says back. “I thought after the other night you’d found another place to stay and had abandoned me?”

“I nearly did.”

She smiles at him from the mirror, brightly and with teeth showing. “Well I’m glad you’re back. Thanks for leaving the door unlocked.”

“I didn’t.”

She laughs and lifts up her hand, “Oh yeah that’s right. I have a key.” It dangles from her open hand as she turns around. “Thanks for being stupid enough to let me steal it. Who keeps their keys in their wallet?” She makes her way over to the kitchen, leaning on the counter opposite him. “Better question, who’s stupid enough to pass me their wallet in the first place?”

“I have a knife, Raven.” He announces, continuing to slice.

“Is that a threat? Is that supposed to scare me?” He doesn’t reply so instead she steals a sliced pepper and pops it in her mouth. “I hope you’re making enough for me too.” She leaves the counter and sits herself on the couch instead and this in turn stops him moving.

“What’s the matter?” she calls out.

He looks up, eyes tired, “Can’t you find somewhere else to stay? I’ll even pay the bills for you if that’s what you want.”

She pretends to be hurt. “What? You don’t want my company?”

He slams the knife down, “What do you think?”

“Hey.” Her tone changes from playful to deadly. “Don’t try and force me out when I’m the one here for your help. You owe me.”

“You keep making me aware of that but how far does it go?” He leaves the kitchen and approaches her, with confidence she hasn’t seen before. “Haven’t I helped you enough? The amount of times you’ve come back here, I’ve given into everything you’ve wanted. I’ve comforted you, I’ve paid you; I’ve accepted you back so many times and yet you still won’t move on.”

“You need me Jackson.”

He leans over her seated form. “Don’t go back on your words Rae, you need me this time remember? Or have you already forgotten your lie?”

She rises from the couch. “Back off, Wang.”

He smiles, “Or what?”

“Or you won’t survive what’s coming.” His confusion is enough to set her back on track. Her smile is wider. “I can make what’s coming a lot worse.”

“What did you do?”

Ignoring his question, she steps around him and twirls, her playful side back. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

He turns and follows her in aggravation. “You said this wasn’t about revenge! You said you didn’t care anymore!”

“I don’t, but it’s too fun to pass up sometimes.”

“Raven!”

She turns on him, “You said it yourself, you’re too compliant! You’re too ready to make up for what you did to me and whenever I come crawling back, you may act like you hate me but you never say no.” She reaches up her arms and wraps them around his neck. “I could ask you to sleep with me and you’d probably do it.” 

He grabs hold of her arms, tightly, and forces them down. His eyes are murderous. There’s a minute where she panics but then she recognises his newfound strength and it makes her angry.

“You told JB I was here didn’t you?” He doesn’t answer but she can tell. “Of course you told him because the only pride you have in yourself comes from someone else. He told you to get rid of me didn’t he?” He doesn’t say anything but that only makes her go on. “He’s the real bitch in your life, not me.”

Jackson raises his hand high and she smiles at it, egging him on. “Go ahead,” she teases. “Hit me. I dare you.” 

Unfortunately he takes a deep breath and puts his hand down. “I’m not letting you ruin my life, Raven.”

“But you ruined mine! You couldn’t let JB go and dragged me along in a relationship that was all but dead!”

“And you couldn’t see it!” He lets her go and she stumbles back. “If you knew how much I was still hanging onto him, why didn’t you let me go!?”

“Because I loved you, you asshole.” Real tears of anger spring from her eyes. “I loved you so much I was willing to wait endless hours alone just to see you come home from being with him all day.” She grabs hold of his hands and stares at him trying to catch his gaze but he looks away. “I saw the love for him in your eyes and I felt like I could make you look at me like that one day.”

“Stop.”

“You won’t even look at me now, but you can have me. You can’t have him.” His eyes find her when she says that. “I’m the one here for you.”

“Raven...” His resolve was breaking, she could see it.

“You can have me right now if you wanted.” She whispers, and their eyes lock onto each other. “I wouldn’t even hold it against you.”

“Raven, stop, please.”

She leans up and kisses him. He doesn’t move so she kisses him again. 

“JB isn’t here.” she whispers.

“I hate you.” He replies, kissing her back.

She smiles, one final tear falling as pulls his arms around her. “I hate you too.”

 

**Scene 3 - Long time no see**

Jinyoung takes a sip of his coffee as JB races past him, late for work. He smiles and grabs him before he makes it to the door and gives him a deep kiss. JB smiles through it and tries to pull away.

“Why is it when you know I’m late, you try to make me even later?”

“You’re the boss of your own company. Why can’t you be late?”

JB pulls away with a final tug and grabs his bag from where he dropped it on the ground. “Because tonight is the company’s anniversary. Go to work Jinyoung. I’ll see you tonight.”

Jinyoung smiles after him and grabs his coffee mug, ready to leave himself, but he’s interrupted by his phone ringing. He takes it out of his pocket and smiles as he answers.

“Youngjae?”

 

***

 

Jinyoung makes a detour on his way to work to Youngjae’s house and quickly runs up to the door. Youngjae answers immediately and invites him in. They both sit on his couch.

“Don’t you have recording today? JB just rushed out because he was late for it.”

“I’m not going in.” Youngjae explains. “I’m not feeling well.”

“I could’ve kept my husband for a little while longer then.”

“Sorry.” 

Jinyoung shrugs, “Don’t apologise. I haven’t seen you for a long time. You’ve been busy becoming an idol and everything.”

Youngjae gives him a small smile. “You saw me at JB’s birthday party.”

“I know.” Jinyoung laughs. “What’s up?”

“I wanted to ask you something weird. Don’t take it the wrong way.” Youngjae pauses for a second and Jinyoung sits up, sensing the seriousness of the question. “How much do you know about Jackson?”

“Jackson? Our Jackson?”

Youngjae flinches. “Don’t say our.”

“Well, he’s your boss.”

“Other than that.”

Jinyoung sits back, confused by the question. “Well other than that, I don’t know what you want me to say...he’s JB’s best friend and he went to university with him and Mark.”

“So you only know him because of JB?”

“Yeah, pretty much. So do you… I don’t get why you’re asking.”

Youngjae sits in silence for a minute longer before he looks up at his friend. 

“Has he ever been violent?”

Jinyoung scrunches up his eyebrows. “No…”

“Are you sure? Has he ever gotten into a fight with anyone before?”

“No… You’re better off asking JB.”

Youngjae shakes his head. “I can’t ask JB.” 

“Why not?”

“It’s complicated.”

Jinyoung stares at his friend and tries to figure out why he’s acting so strangely.

“Hey.” He calls out, trying to break Youngjae out of his brain fog. Youngjae looks up, lost. “What’s going on?”

Youngjae doesn’t reply at first.

“What? You can’t tell me?” Jinyoung sits back, pretending to be offended. “And here I thought growing up together meant we shared all of our secrets-”

“Jackson and I dated the same girl.” 

Jinyoung blinks in confusion. “What?”

Youngjae stares into Jinyoung’s eyes with such an intensity, Jinyoung can’t look away.

“We dated the same girl. Well, technically he dated her first and then I did, but that’s not the point.”

“What is the point?”

“He abused her.”

“...What?”

Youngjae doesn’t blink. “He abused his ex-girlfriend.  **My** ex-girlfriend.”

“How do you know that?”

“She told me.”

Jinyoung is more shocked by this. “She told you? When?”

“Yesterday. We met up.”

“Which girlfriend is this?”

“Raven. Ever heard of her?” Youngjae leans further forward. “Has Jackson ever brought her up?”

“No. I’ve never heard of her. Youngjae where is this coming from? It’s so out of the blue.”

Youngjae stands up and starts pacing around the room. “He hurt someone I love and I’m trying to figure out what to do about it.”

Jinyoung leans back in his chair and watches his friend calculate in his head. “Is this why you aren’t going into work today? Because of something some girl of yours said?”

Youngjae turns sharply and eyes Jinyoung angrily, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means, is she reliable? Do you believe everything that she told you?”

“Of course I do.”

“But why do you?”

“Because I love her!”

Jinyoung sees the conviction in his friend’s eyes but can’t bring himself to believe the situation.

“How long ago did this happen?”

Youngjae goes back to pacing. “That doesn’t matter.”

“It kind of does. An ex-girlfriend comes back into your life and tells you she was abused and you’re ready to avenge her just like that?”

“Yes! Why is that so hard to understand?”

“Because you know Jackson better than I do. Because you work with him but you immediately believe he’s capable of something like this? I know he bullies you but this is a stretch-”

“Jinyoung-”

“I don’t know what you expected from calling me over here, but I don’t want any part of this. You’re better off asking JB like I said, or asking Jackson yourself.”

“I might hurt him if I ask him.”

Jinyoung stands up from the couch. “Then go ahead. He could probably take it. Call me when you figure out what to do.”

He starts heading for the door but Youngjae grabs his arm. 

“Come with me.”

“What?”

“If you want me to ask him, come with me.”

“I’m not getting involved in this.”

Youngjae holds onto Jinyoung tightly. “I love this girl. She’s not like everyone else.”

Jinyoung raises an eyebrow. “I can see that. Because of her, you’re not making any sense.”

Youngjae sighs and releases his hold. “I know I’m not. That’s why I called you. I don’t know what to do.”

Jinyoung sighs and stares at his troubled friend. 

“Go to work.”

“What?”

“Go to work. Record songs. Rehearse for the anniversary concert tonight. Don’t make anyone think something is going on with you and I’ll see what I can find out.”

“You can’t ask JB-”

“I won’t. I won’t ask JB okay.” Youngjae stares at him confused, but Jinyoung only pats his shoulder. “He’s not the only best friend Jackson has ever had. Just calm down and don’t jump to conclusions. I know what you’re like.”

Youngjae nods and they part with a final goodbye. Jinyoung had never seen his friend this way before. He looked tired, so he’d obviously been up thinking about this all night and he wouldn't admit it, but Youngjae was naive. He could be roped into any way of thinking if he wasn’t careful. Jinyoung was the friend who helped him out of it; he’d been doing it ever since they were kids. He hated the idea of getting involved in something this scandalous but he could see it blowing up in Youngjae and Jackson’s face and he had the means of finding the answers Youngjae wanted. There was no way this was true and Jinyoung had no problem trying to prove it, he just wished that for once he could stay professional with Mark...that was what they had agreed on...but it seemed it wouldn’t be staying that way.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Having a good holiday?


	12. Episode 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HHHHeeerre's more build up lol.

**Scene 1 - Bed Sheets**

Jackson wakes up and turns to his side to see his worst nightmare next to him.  Raven looked like the calmest, most wholesome, girl he’d ever seen when she was asleep. It was only when she woke up that she became the devil...and he’d just spent the night with her.

Intimate memories of the night before flashed in his mind and he wanted to scream. He wanted to punch himself in the face or stab himself in the lung; anything that would end his life but that wasn’t possible. He also didn’t want to wake her up because that would only be part two of the nightmare. 

As he gets up, his brain cycles over the thoughts he always had when something like this happened. How had he managed to be manipulated by her again? It’s because she mentioned JB...Jb was his weakness and he’d never be able to get over it.

There were times when the loneliness would creep up on him and he’d imagine all the good times he and JB had had and how much JB had loved him before Jackson had destroyed it. Raven capitalized on that. He hated to admit it but she made an escape for him, a place where he could think of JB and not feel guilty… He’d told her to move on but neither had he and, because of that, the cycle continued to go on; he could never destroy what he had with JB again, whether that was romance or friendship and in turn, he couldn’t destroy what he had with Raven either.

Pulling on his shirt, he makes his way out of the bedroom and pours himself some water. He’d go to work and deal with Raven later.

 

**Scene 2 - Passenger**

Jinyoung arrives at the Gallery and runs up the front steps; because of the fallout he and Mark had had, the jobs they couldn’t visit together had built up, so the renovation plans for the gallery had to be done quickly.

Opening the door and heading down the aisle to the pointillism section, he notices Mark’s red hair from the corner and comes across him talking to the Gallery’s director...or reassuring him.

“...we’re sorry about the delay. We promise to have those plans for you in the next two days.”

Jinyoung rushes up from behind him, hands clasped apologetically. “Yes, we’re so sorry about this, sir.”

The director looks mildly annoyed at Jinyoung’s entrance, but nods in Mark’s direction, before silently walking away. They both watch until he is out of sight.

“Why’d you interrupt?” Mark whispers. “He was coming around to me.”

“Because we’re a partnership. I wasn’t going to let you deal with Marlin alone.”

“Marlin is a pushover.” Mark smiles, turning around to face Jinyoung. The eye contact makes Jinyoung avoid his eyes but Mark isn’t fazed by it; he’s all focus today. “Let’s get the measurements done.”

They make their way around the Gallery, Mark taking measurements while Jinyoung takes pictures. Through the lens of the camera, Jinyoung sees what the gallery is and what it could be; grander, sleeker. The family that owned it wanted it to be a talked about place, one noticed for it’s historical connections as well as it’s artistic ones. While taking pictures, he kept that in mind. 

“Make sure you get a picture of that corner over there.” Mark points out, looking towards the adjacent wall from where they’re standing. “I’m sure they could lose it to make more space.”

“Ah, okay.” Jinyoung lifts his camera and takes the shot. He moves to take it from a different angle, but Mark appears and makes a peace sign while continuing his own work. Jinyoung looks up from the lens. “What are you doing?”

Mark shrugs and stops posing, looking sheepish. Jinyoung gives him a playful smile, returning his eye to the lens. “If you want me to take a picture of you, you need to make a better pose than that.”

Mark laughs and slides into the shot, throwing out a flower aegyo pose. 

“Something must be wrong with this…”Jinyoung whispers, staring at the camera with confusion as he walks to the next part of the Gallery. Mark makes a playful sound of outrage but makes his way next to him.

“I’m glad we’re talking again.” Mark mumbles. Jinyoung is inclined to agree but doesn’t say it out loud, feeling like he should still keep some distance.

They continue through the large building in silence, doing their work. Mark keeps making his way into pictures but Jinyoung pretends not to notice so the poses get progressively more obvious. By the end of it, he’s laughing with Mark as they make fun of various art pieces, like all that went on the previous week hadn’t even happened. 

Finally, they make it to the last section of the building, where there’s a large window that looks over a great view of the city. Mark steps up to it immediately.

“We should highlight this in the design.” He calls out and Jinyoung nods, lifting up the camera.

Through the lens it’s hard to ignore how well lit Mark is in the sunlight; he always was, it was like his superpower. Wherever the light was, wherever the sun was, it would hit him like morning sunrise or the sunset of a beautiful day. His hair would shine and his smile was bright enough to blind someone five feet away. His red hair was shining now, and his smile was directed out towards the city. It was too perfect for Jinyoung to ignore and he zoomed in with the camera lens and clicked; it was far too cute.

“You take the picture yet?” Mark asks, shaking Jinyoung out of his thoughts.

“Um, yeah.” He zooms out quickly and takes a picture of the window with Mark still in the centre. With that final picture, they’re done.

 

***

 

Jinyoung waits outside while Mark says goodbye to the Gallery director. When he steps out, Jinyoung immediately tries to hide a smile.

“What?”

“He likes you.”

Mark looks at Jinyoung like he’s crazy. “No, he doesn’t.”

“Dude, he’s soft on you. Open your eyes. We delayed our plans by a week and he even called me up and said he might cancel our partnership. One word from you and it’s all fine.”

Mark walks down the steps, indifferent. “Do you want me to take advantage of it?”

“No-”

“Then I’m not interested. He’s not the one I want anyway.” He makes his way to Jinyoung’s car and turns, giving Jinyoung a provocative look, as he opens the driver side door. “I’ll call you later when I have a draft outline. You can tell me what ideas you have then.”

With the course of the conversation, what Jinyoung had to do next was risky, but he had to do it, so he let the words fall from his lips before he thought about them too much.

“Get in.”

“What?”

“I’ll give you a ride.” Jinyoung gets into the car and motions for Mark to do the same. When he’s finally sitting safely in the passenger seat, Jinyoung starts the engine and heads in the direction of Mark’s house.

“Why are you driving me home? I thought we were staying professional?”

“Don’t use my own words against me, okay? I can stay professional and give you a ride home. I won’t even get out of the car.”

Mark nods, smiling, appreciative. He looks out of the window for a while and at a stop light, Jinyoung once again has to look for courage. Instead of finding it, he jumps in instead, following the example set by Youngjae.

“How well do you know Jackson?”

Mark looks at him, confused. “What?”

Jinyoung shrugs. “Just making conversation.”

“Conversation about Jackson… Why?”

The light turns green and Jinyoung starts driving again. Mark continues on. “You’ve known him almost as long as I have. Why ask?”

“I just don’t know my husband’s best friend very well and I feel bad about that.”

“Do you?”

“Just tell me what he was like when you guys were in university together.”

Mark is silent for a minute before replying. “Don’t want to.”

“Ah, come on please.” Jinyoung flashes him a smile but Mark isn’t falling for it.

“Is this why you’re giving me a ride? Why you’re talking to me again? For your husband’s best friend?”

Jinyoung folds his lips and focuses on the road.

“Give and take.” Mark chuckles, sounding slightly annoyed. “A drive won’t be enough.”

Jinyoung sighs as they turn a corner and stops the car on the side of the road; this way he can give Mark his full attention.

“I was just trying to understand the situation without making it a big deal, but Jackson could be in serious trouble. I was trying to help him without making it worse.”

Mark’s face changes into one of concern. “What trouble? What happened?”

Jinyoung sighs. “You can’t tell JB any of this until we know for sure.”

“That explains why you’re asking me about his best friend.”

“All three of you are best friends aren’t you?”

“Some are closer than others.” Mark remarks, looking back out of the window. “Me and Jackson barely see each other anymore. Other than when all of us meet up.”

“But you’re still friends.”

“Yeah, of course we are. He acts all friendly with me when it suits him or when he’s drunk but it’s not like before.”

“Before you went to study overseas?”

Mark nods. “Probably a little bit before that...so what’s this?”

Jinyoung sighs. “I can’t tell you everything, but there are...allegations that Jackson abused one of his ex-girlfriends.”

“What? He’d never do anything like that.”

“I agree but I also have to ask, were there any other relationships where he was violent or anything? Anyone in university he mistreated?”

“No. He’s cocky but not violent. Relationship wise though...you still might want to ask JB. He was the calmer one in their relationship.”

Jinyoung’s eyebrows meet. “What do you mean?”

Mark laughs. “What do you mean, what do I mean?”

Jinyoung is silent as he waits for an answer that doesn't come. Mark’s eyes widen and his head tilts to the side, incredulous. “How can you not know?”

“Not know what?”

“You married him.”

Jinyoung’s voice comes out with a tinge of annoyance. “Mark.”

Ark shakes his head but lets the words come from his own lips. “Jackson is JB’s ex-boyfriend.”

 

**Scene 3 - Look**

 

It was hard for Jinyoung to drive after that.

He took Mark home without a word, but getting back to his own house was a struggle. His thoughts kept going around in circles, and because of that so did the car. It took him half an hour just to get into the right neighborhood.

Why hadn’t JB told him about his and Jackson’s relationship? Wasn’t that something he should know? Jackson was even at their wedding; wouldn’t that have been the perfect time to spill about their past? He’d wanted to know everything and he’d told JB everything...even if there wasn’t much to tell. Was what they had so unimportant it wasn’t worth mentioning? Was it a fling? He didn’t know if he should feel betrayed or not...and when he turned onto his street and pulled up to his house, he still didn’t know how to feel...and it only confused his feelings more when he found Jackson and JB in the kitchen together.

“What are you guys doing back?” He asks.

“Having lunch, same as you.” JB replies, giving his husband a kiss on the cheek before going to the fridge. He picks out ingredients and throws them to Jackson, who catches them each time with a big smile.

“Five point throw.”

“Six at least.” JB complains, continuing to collect things around the kitchen. “You caught it with one hand.”

“And it nearly fell. Five.”

Jinyoung watches the two of them cook and set out dishes together.  It was almost as if Jinyoung wasn’t there, the way they talked so easily with each other. JB wasn’t cooking much, it was Jackson frying the meat and stewing. JB was usually particular about who did what in his kitchen, but he seemed completely at ease doing it together with Jackson. With him and Jinyoung, it was far calmer...he wondered if he should be jealous of that.

“Oh,” JB pipes up, finally taking another look in Jinyoung’s direction, “can Jackson borrow one of your suits for tonight?”

“What?” Jinyoung looks up, shocked out of his thoughts.

“Just this once. He can’t go home beforehand.”

Jinyoung looks at Jackson who smiles up through the steam of the food he’s cooking. 

“Why can’t you go home?”

“He’s avoiding someone.” JB answers for him again. At any other time, this might be fine, but now it had a whole other meaning behind it that Jinyoung couldn’t ignore. He sees JB’s hand on the table, close to the one Jackson also has resting there, and he reaches for it. Now he recognised how Jackson’s eyes lingered on it.

Jinyoung smiles, “Well, I guess it’s fine. They may not fit him though.”

“There are some old ones in your closet. He may fit one of those.” JB squeezes his hand before stepping away from the kitchen. “Be right back.”

Left alone with Jackson, there was a silence as the two smile and go about their business; Jackson cooking while Jinyoung watches.

“Who are you avoiding?” He asks again.

“Just someone.” Jackson answers. “Don’t worry about it.”

“You never avoid people.” Jinyoung smiles wider, leaning closer to the stove. “Even when you should.”

Jackson laughs. “You want me to avoid you?”

“Maybe. Sometimes.” Jinyoung cuts his words short as JB walks back down the stairs. He’s holding one of Jinyoung’s smaller maroon coloured suits.

“This one okay?”

“His blonde hair though…” Jinyoung argues. 

“If he wears a black shirt, it’ll look fine.” JB hangs the suit in the corner. “And you can wear the shoes you hide at work and never wear.”

Jackson laughs as he starts setting out the food. “You want some Jinyoung?” 

Jinyoung nods, reclaiming his husband’s hand and giving Jackson a big smile. “Yeah, sure.”

 

***

 

They eat together and finish quickly. Jinyoung, as much as possible, doesn’t let JB’s hand go. Jackson looks like he’s not paying attention, but Jinyoung knows that he is and that helps him relax. 

“Youngae not showing up today was a bit strange.” JB remarks pushing away his plate.

“What?” Jinyoung turns to him, eyebrows raised. “He didn’t show up?”

JB nods. “Yeah. Why? Do you know something?”

Jinyoung sneaks a glance in Jackson’s direction but ultimately shakes his head.

JB rubs his finger over Jinyoung’s hand. “He seems pretty distracted lately. He really hasn’t said anything to you?”

“It’s probably some new girl. I told you.” Jackson remarks.

“That’s your problem at the moment.” JB mumbles, and Jinyoung can feel Jackson kick him from under the table.

“What are you doing?” Jinyoung calls out. “Don’t kick him.”

“Sorry.” Jackson sends Jinyoung an apologetic look, but smiles. “He knows what it’s for though.”

Jinyoung looks between them both but neither of them bring up anything else. 

“I would tell you if he had anything to say, but I barely get a chance to talk to him.”

JB pouts. “I’m sorry. I know you guys grew up together. I hate to steal him away from you.”

Jinyoung shakes his head. “I’m proud of him, that’s all that matters. Just like you and Jackson are proud of each other.”

Both JB and Jackson smile.

“When did you guys meet anyway?”

“Um, university.” JB replies, picking at his shirt.

“Really, that’s it?”

JB nods, “We were roomates for two years, until Mark moved to Italy and we...um…” He drifts off and shrugs.

“We drifted apart for a bit until we were placed on the same internship and-”

“That’s how we ended up here, with an anniversary concert tonight that we need to get ready for.” JB stands up and starts clearing the table. “You know what the kids are wearing tonight, right?”

“Yeah, I got their suits out this morning.”

“And you know their friend...Kes, I think her name is, she’s coming too.”

“Yugyeom’s girlfriend, yep, got it.”

JB hits Jinyoung over the head.

“Hey, don’t hit your husband.” Jackson shouts, before flashing a wink in Jinyoung’s direction.

JB makes to hit Jackson as well but doesn’t follow through. “She’s not his girlfriend.”

Jackson picks up a plate as he passes Jinyoung and whispers, “Yet.”

 

**Scene 4 - R.I.P**

Raven wakes up knowing Jackson isn’t next to her. He never stays. It was a constant; he might find some solace in her for a while but then he’d slip back into the pitiful state of sad ex again. She used to live for these moments, but now, after the initial feelings were over, the cold was something she lived for. It reignited her hate and made her capable of what she always did before slipping back into obscurity again; ruining some part of Jackson’s life. 

This time the end goal had changed, she hadn’t expected to meet Youngjae again, but that had been providence; she hadn’t meant to make her impact obvious but Youngjae had put that into play for her. Maybe this time she wouldn’t come back. Maybe this time she’d find solace in watching his life collapse around him...or maybe it would all make him come back to her...maybe it would, and maybe it wouldn’t, but this definitely meant this was the end.

She slips out of his bed and looks at her clothes on the floor. Lifting them up, she pouts. 

“What a waste.” She mumbles, while proceeding to rip the shoulder of her blouse. She makes a few more tears in the middle and makes sure to pop a few buttons as well for added effect and then starts getting dressed. She looks around the room and heads towards the closet. Opening it, she finds a majority of Jackson’s clothes and begins ripping them up as well. She throws them around the room but stops when she passes the mirror. Having not wiped off her make-up from the day before, it was already smudged, but with her free hand she smudges it a bit more. 

Picking out her phone from her jacket, she googled how to make fake bruises and smiled. This would be the most fun she had with him.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christmas, my birthday, and new years all came at once. Hope you all had a good time. :D


	13. Episode  13

******Scene 1 - Rehearsal**

The stage is set out as the backdrop to what could be a banquet hall, but far larger, with JB and Jackson standing in the center of it. They watch patiently, as artist after artist has their tech rehearsal. 

Youngjae looks down at them from his turn on the stage, but most of his focus lies on Jackson. As his rehearsal finishes, he steps down from the stage and smiles, passing through those going to rehearse after him, but it’s forced. Jackson is all he can see and he heads straight towards him. 

Getting closer, he can see that JB has a checklist in his hands while Jackson is leaning against a table casually, stealing food from a platter that’s set next to him. He steps up in the middle of their conversation. 

“...Is he coming? Really?” Jackson asks JB excitedly.

“Yeah. He wants to see how we’re doing.”

“More like how our artists are doing.”

“Who?” Youngjae asks, smoothly stealing food from the plate Jackson is holding.

“JYP himself.” JB replies

“Oh, wow. That’s good isn’t it?”

JB nods, but Youngjae can see the stress in his eyes. It obviously doesn't help that Jackson looks completely chill about everything. He steps forward instantly and squeezes JB’s shoulders and smiles. 

“It’ll be fine.”

“Thank-you, Youngjae.” He emphasises Youngjae’s name but Jackson only shrugs.

As rehearsals continue on, Youngjae hovers near to JB’s side while Jackson goes around checking with all the other artists performing.

“He looks fine,” JB explains, “but he’s just as stressed as I am, he just deals with it differently.”

Youngjae nods but is indifferent either way. 

“Why didn’t you come into work today?” JB asks.

“I wasn’t feeling well, and thought it was better to rest before the concert.”

“You sure?” JB looks away from his clipboard long enough to give Youngjae a concerned look. 

Youngjae nods again. “Yeah.”

“You’ve been pretty distracted the last few days...there’s a girl isn’t there?” JB’s words make Youngjae sigh but JB pats his back in assurance as he speaks. “It’s my job to notice this stuff.”

“Course it is.” 

“I won’t tease you, okay. I haven’t seen you this distracted for a long time though.” He squeezes Youngjae’s neck and smiles. “Just don’t let whoever it is take up all your time okay?”

Youngjae nods and watches JB walk away towards the stage where Day6 has just finished their practice. Guilt tugged at him; whatever he found out, or in turn revealed, about Jackson could affect JB just as much, and that made for painful justice. JB hadn’t done anything wrong...hopefully that was enough to protect him. 

 

**Scene 4 - Teenagers**

 

Yugyeom wiped off his navy blue suit and straightened the collar of his shirt in the mirror. He was nervous. 

Bam Bam stood on the opposite side of the room, fixing his pale blue blazer jacket. His blonde hair was messy but he had kept it that way on purpose and Yugyeom compared it’s bright colour to his dark one; he’d always been jealous at how random Bam Bam’s blonde hair was in the family, when everyone else’s was dark. He had to stand out at every possible point.

A knock on the door signals Jinyoung at the door and he peers in, taking a look at Yugyeom and then Bam Bam in turn before entering the room completely.

“You guys ready?”

Bam Bam pulls his hair back with one hand and gives his dad a cocky nod, while Yugyeom just shakes his head.

“Yeah.”

Jinyoung winks at Yugyeom. “What time is your girl getting here?”

“She’s not my girl!” He shouts in reply.

“He’s right,” Bam speaks up, turning to face them. “We both asked her to come.” He places a hand to cover his mouth. “Me more than him.”

Yugyeom storms out of the room while Bam Bam laughs but Jinyoung chases after him.

“Why can’t I call her that? Is that not what you want her to be?”

Yugyeom shakes his head and refuses to speak but that only makes Jinyoung wrap an arm around him. 

“You feel like you aren’t allowed to like her or something?” He feels Yugyeom shrug his shoulders. “I felt that way with your dad.”

“What?” Yugyeom looks up at Jinyoung, his long earring hitting his shoulder.

Jinyoung nods. “I started working with Mark before I even met JB, so when I did meet him, I thought it would be awkward if I dated his brother like that.”

“But you did it anyway.”

“Yeah...I did.” Jinyoung clears his throat just as Bam Bam joins them downstairs. He’d added a watch and one of Yugyeom’s earrings to his ensemble. It made Jinyoung feel plain in his simple black suit but he didn’t have long to think about it as the doorbell rang. 

“Should I answer it?” Bam Bam asks, slowly walking towards the door but Yugyeom is quick to shove him out of the way.

“No!”

Bam Bam stats laughing again but this time Jinyoung hits him over the head. Yugyeom returns, cheeks red and smiling shyly, and behind him is a girl in a beautiful green off shoulder dress. Nude high heels made her broach close to Yugyeom’s height but not close enough. No-one in the room spoke for a minute. Then Jinyoung coughed.

“Shall we go?”

 

**Scene 3 - Happy Anniversary**

 

Rehearsals over, guests started arriving; celebrities the company knew and some they didn’t. In the mix arrived JB’s family, who stopped for pictures as they entered. Bam forced Kes and Yugyeom to take a picture alone together, which he would surely pay for later, but until then, they made for a cute couple in front of the cameras. They stayed close to Daddy Jinyoung who posed alone for a few photos, shy but portraying the strong partner of the company CEO.

Inside, guests conversed loudly and the boys seperated; Yugyeom taking Kes to his side and introducing here to popular celebrities he’d known since he was a kid while Bam Bam went to eat food. Jinyoung found it charming and kept an eye on them both until he caught Mark staring at him from the corner. 

He was dressed in baby pink, and it made him stand out a lot more than Jinyoung thought he’d have wanted to be… but he was the CEO’s brother. His hair was styled, gelled back, and his face was endearing rather than far away. He walks over and smiles but Jinyoung doesn’t smile back, instead choosing to pick up a glass of champagne from a passing waitress. Mark does the same, his smile turning coy.

“I’m guessing JB didn’t elaborate on what I told you.”

Jinyoung acts unmoved. “No.” 

“I figured as much. You look pretty pissed.”

Jinyoung rubs his eyes. “I’m not pissed.”

“Sure, you’re not.”

“Just drink your champagne and shut up.”

Mark nods, and finishes his glass in one shot, placing it on a nearby table. “What did you tell yourself?”

Jinyoung taps his foot against the ground and folds his arms. “What did I tell myself, what?” 

“As an excuse as to why he didn’t tell you.”

“Their...relationship…” Jinyoung fumbles over his words. “Their relationship wasn’t as important as ours. He married me. That’s all that matters.”

Mark leans in. “Is it?” Jinyoung pushes him away lightly but Mark barely moves. “You could be right. Maybe it wasn’t important enough to mention. Maybe it was so unimportant that it even let them remain friends with each other...but they’re too close for that to be true, don’t you think?”

Jinyoung’s face contorts into something predatory but Mark doesn’t back down. “Kinda makes you wonder what you were so guilty about when your spouse’s ex is with him all the time.”

“There’s nothing for me to be guilty about.” He replies through clenched teeth.

“Then why didn’t you tell my brother what happened between us?” Mark looks away. “Was it that unimportant to you?”

The urge to hit something flew through Jinyoung’s body but he held it back; it wouldn’t look good for JB’s husband to hit anything right now, especially his husband’s brother, so he walks away. He had to find someone else, anyone else, to talk to or he might lose it. 

JB had given him a backstage pass, so he took that opportunity to use it, checking to make sure the kids were alright before heading down towards the stage doors. He acknowledges the performers he passes, looking for a familiar face but he doesn’t find one until the end of the hall. Youngjae is sitting inside, bouncing his knee and biting his nails. When he sees Jinyoung, he practically jumps out of his chair.

“Did you find anything out?”

Jinyoung shakes his head and moves to close the door behind him. With everything on his mind, he’d forgotten to call. Now he realised he should have called sooner. 

“No, okay. There wasn’t a lot anyone could tell me-”

“Who did you ask?”

Jinyoung sighs, “Mark.”

Youngjae nods, but taps his hands together anxiously. “That doesn’t give me a lot to work with.”

“I know.”

“I’ve had to hang out with the bastard all afternoon.”

“Hey-”

Youngjae’s voice rises as he keeps on talking. “I don’t care if he’s my boss! He has no right to walk around like everything’s okay!”

Jinyoung raises his hands, in an effort to calm Youngjae down. “Okay, okay, but there’s no proof. We can’t say anything without any-” Jinyoung’s words are interrupted by Youngjae’s phone ringing. 

Taking a second to look at the screen, he starts pointing at it energetically. “It’s her.” 

He answers and goes silent as he listens. Jinyoung’s eyes search his face but it’s a mask...until it becomes angry. He pushes the phone into Jinyoung’s hands.

“That asshole has her locked in his house.”

Jinyoung blinks back confusion. “What?”

Youngjae is past the point of calm now. “You still think I’m wrong?”

Youngjae barrels out of the room before Jinyoung can even reply and Raven can be heard calling out after him through the phone.

Jinyoung raises the phone to his ear. “Don’t let him get hurt because of me,” she begs, “please.”

Jinyoung nods, and hangs up before running out to follow Youngjae who has left a load of shocked people in his wake. Exiting backstage, the path continues, and Jinyoung can only call out the name of his friend but he’s far beyond his reach. 

Jackson stands on the other side of the room, smiling and conversing with other celebrity guests but in no time, Youngjae slams into him and barrels into the nearby table for everyone to see.

“Hey,” He shouts out surprised. “Hey!” 

“You Jackass!”

“Youngjae!” Jackson shouts again, looking just as confused as everyone else.

“You think you can just walk all over her again, after you ruined her life?”

“What are you talking about!”

“Raven!”

“What?”

Youngjae punches his fist into the table, right next to Jackson’s head. “I’m going to pay you back for what you did to her.”

Cameras end up flashing all over the place.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter was so long, I ended up splitting it into two. Sorry it's kinda short. Tired now >.<


	14. Episode 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this is so late guys. I did not have a computer for a while and I know I left on a cliff hanger. I also had to plan out the rest of the chapters *_*

**Scene 1 - Godfather’s Fury**

From across the room, Yugyeom can see his brother looks just as shocked as he feels, and they watch as cameras get closer and Youngjae’s voice gets louder; with a crowd forming, it’s hard to hear everything but it’s obvious Youngjae isn’t saying anything nice.

Kes steps up next to Yugyeom and tentatively touches his elbow. “What’s going on?”

Even with his superior height he can’t see. “I don’t know. I’ve never seen them act like this before.”

From the corner of his eye, Yugyeom makes out JB moving from his place near the stage to where all the commotion is happening. Jinyoung also runs out of the backstage door and together they both dive through the crowd. Reappearing seconds later, each one separates and drags one angry Youngjae and confused Jackson. They make their way backstage as well, and that’s when Bam Bam  comes over to where Kes and Yugyeom are standing.

“Did YJ just attack Jackson?” He asks. Yugyeom nods in response, still watching his parents take their friends away from the public eye. Security keeps guests and the cameras away. “Do you think we should follow them?”

“No.”

“Why not?” Bam Bam whines.

“We’re aren’t part of Daddy JB’s company. We can’t just follow them.”

“But Dad Jinyoung went-”

“I think-”, comes a voice from behind them, “you should go and sit at your table.” Looking up, both boys recognise their Uncle Mark standing behind them. He sends a small comforting smile in Kes’ direction before looking back at the boys. “Look after your friend while I go see what’s what.” He squeezes both his nephew’s shoulders and they watch him head to where the rest of the fighting party have disappeared.

 

**Scene 2 - Ex Wars**

It took a lot of effort but Jinyoung and JB managed to get Youngjae and Jackson into a room. JB went back out straight away to try and apologise and stall the crowd, but he’d given Youngjae and Jackson instructions to stay away from each other until he came back, because of that the room stayed relatively silent. Jinyoung leant against the wall biting his fingernails as Mark appeared next to him.

“You're sick.” Youngjae launches at him from across the room. Jinyoung stands ready to break them apart if necessary, but stays close to the wall.

Jackson tries to wrap his head around what’s happening.  “What are you talking about?!”

“Your ex girlfriend. The one you have locked up in your apartment!”

Jackson looks around for help but no-one moves to defend him. Jinyoung shakes his head while shrugging while Mark seemingly has nothing to say. Thankfully, JB marches back in but his eyes are murderous. The voice he uses to speak is low and threatening. “I just had to apologise to over two thousand people. What the fuck is going on?”

“I don’t know.” Jackson pleads, looking warily between both JB and Youngjae. JB walks over to be next to him immediately and faces off against an angry Youngjae. 

“What did he do?” He asks, with visible constraint. 

“I didn't do anything.”

JB doesn’t even turn to look at Jackson when he speaks. “I didn't ask you.”

Youngjae steps forward, less intense in front of JB's wrath. “His ex...the girl you and him couldn't seem to stop talking about the last couple of days, he's got her.”

“Got her how?”

“He has her locked in his apartment! We need to get her out of there!”

JB cocks his head in Jackson’s direction but still won’t look at him. “How does he know Raven?”

“I'm her ex boyfriend.” Youngjae announces. Jackson’s head whips out in his direction, stunned.

“What? How? What did she do to you?”

Youngjae makes a grab for Jackson again but JB holds him back. Jackson continues to talk from behind him.

“She's crazy. You know that right?”

“Shut up!”

“What scheme does she have you believing?”

“The one where you abused her. Remember that one?”

JB looks at Jackson now, less sure.  “What's he talking about?”

“I don't know!”

Youngjae continues. “You found her, you brought her to your house and trapped her there.”

“Youngjae!” JB shouts out in warning.

“Don't believe me?”

JB takes a glance in his husband's direction, for support, but Jinyoung only sighs.

“Jinyoung was there when she called.” Youngjae looks towards him as well and everyone turns in his direction.

Jinyoung looks around but doesn't want to say anything. He holds up his hands, looking neutral. There’s a hint of a smile on Mark’s lips.

“She called, but I didn't hear what she said to him. I barely know what's going on myself.”

“Jackson's hurt her.” Youngjae continues. “I know he has.”

“Jackson would never do that.”

“Your best friend is an abuser. I'll show you the proof.” Youngjae pulls out his phone and dials a number. There was an answer on the first ring. 

“Youngjae??”

Jackson's face lights up, but not in a nice way, as he recognises the voice that’s speaking. Youngjae eyes are almost gleeful as he proves himself right.  “Where are you?”

“I'm still in Jackson's apartment.” Her voice is muffled and shaky. “I can't get out.”

JB looks from the phone to Jackson but his friend doesn't offer any explanation. “You said she stole your key.” He supplies instead.

Youngjae stares at them confused. “What?” 

JB pats Youngjae on the shoulder, “You need to calm down, there’s an explanation for all of this.”

“Why are you protecting him?!”

“Because he hasn’t done any of this!” JB pushes Youngjae away as he keeps pressing forwards. “I know him.”

“You do?”

“I believe him more than this Raven person. I’ve known him longer.”

Jinyoung scoffs and that catches JB’s attention. He doesn’t look too happy to hear the interruption but Jinyoung can tell he’s slightly confused by it. He continues on despite of it.

“The fact of the matter is, we have a two thousand person audience outside with nothing happening and cameras that last flashed on you attacking your boss.”

“I’m not performing anything until he lets her go.” Youngjae responds.

Jackson pushes forward, the only thing stopping him being JB’s body. “She’s not trapped! She has a key!”

“Why don’t we just call the police?” It’s the first thing Mark says having been present in the room. Everyone turns to him in shock.

“What?”

He shrugs. “Just a suggestion.” 

Jinyoung shakes his head, knowing that Mark has just escalated the situation by even mentioning the police. “Look, why don’t I take Jackson and see what’s what. JB can stay to host and Youngjae can perform.”

JB looks gratefully in Jinyoung’s direction, and thankfully Youngjae and Jackson nod in agreement.

“Good.”

***

 

Jinyoung and Jackson file out and JB watches his husband leave without a second look. When they had finally exited the room, he looks towards his brother.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

Mark shrugs but JB steps towards him and pushes him back against the wall.

“Are you trying to make my life worse? What are you even doing in here?”

“I-”

“Get out.” JB grabs Mark by the collar and throws him towards the door. With Mark leaving, JB turns his eyes towards Youngjae and he feels more of his anger resurface...but he knows he can’t let it out. 

As soon as Youngjae ran out from the backstage door and attacked Jackson, JB’s stress levels hit the roof but all he could do was calm a confused crowd and get rid of photographers. This was the biggest event for the company and now there was already a scandal in the works; by now those photos were all over social media, and if anyone followed Jackson and Jinyoung, they might find out what’s going on before JB even did. What frustrated him more was that Jinyoung didn’t even give him a heads up about what was going on. He might have handled it better, but now the damage was done. Hopefully things could be salvaged. 

Youngjae looks like he wants to say something but JB waves it away. He takes a deep breath and gestures towards the door. “Can we get going?”

 

**Scene 3 - The real confrontation (Part 1)**

Jackson leans against Jinyoung’s car window. Outside it’s dark and the streets are empty except for maybe a few passing cars.

“You want to explain this?” Jinyoung asks a while after they get going.

“Explain what?” He sits up, his anger rising. “I don’t know what’s going on either?”

Jinyoung leans his elbow up onto the window. “From my perspective-”

“From your perspective, what? I know you’ve got some fully entitled opinion, so tell me what it is, since you know everything.”

“I know you dated my husband.”

Jackson is startled into silence by this.

“And I know neither of you told me.” Jackson avoids eye-contact with Jinyoung even after he stops the car in front of a light.

“So, do you want to explain the current situation or talk about that instead?”

Jackson pushes his hair back and shakes his head. The light turns green and Jinyoung continues driving for a while before Jackson speaks up again. 

“Raven is my ex-girlfriend...I started dating her after JB and I broke up.”

Jinyoung gives out a menacing smile. “You really want to tackle both situations at the same time?”

Jackson shrugs, defeated. “I’m just giving you some context. I don’t know how between then and now she managed to date Youngjae without me knowing... I don’t even know how he had such a perfect relationship with her.”

“Everyone’s different.”

Another silence passes before Jackson speaks again. “I...we...we broke up on bad terms.”

“Oh, really.”

“You’re sarcasm makes this so much easier.”

“You think I’m happy about this? You think I want to help you? I’m doing this for JB.”

Jackson laughs mirthlessly. “What? So you hate me because I dated your husband in the past? Are you jealous?”

“There’s nothing to be jealous of.”

“He broke up with me, you know. Why does it matter if he told you or not?”

“You’re still friends.” Jinyoung looks over to Jackson’s seat. “You really think anyone in their right mind wouldn’t be bothered by that?”

“JB is in love with you!” Jackson exclaims, turning toward him. “That’s why I’m in this mess.”

“What?” Jinyoung stops the car in front of Jackson’s apartment.

Jackson’s gaze lowers now that the car has stopped. “I treated Raven like the second choice, the pitying option, because I was still in love with your husband and he didn’t love me back. If anyone should be jealous of anyone, it should be me of you.”

Jinyoung looks intently at Jackson, in a way he never would have before.

“Are you still in love with my husband?” Jackson doesn’t answer. “Did you start a business with my husband knowing fully well that you still loved him?”

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it safe to even ask what you guys think should happen? ;) Not because I'm lost for ideas or anything haha muhahahahahahahaahahaahahahahahahaah


	15. Episode 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preface: I'm sorry.

**Scene 1 - A Raven Trapped**

Jinyoung follows Jackson up the stairs to his apartment in angry silence; He hadn’t liked the answer to his question, but still here he was, following behind his husbands  _ ex-lover _ to find out if he had really abused his ex-girlfriend and locked her in the building. He was still doing it for JB, but his anger had him considering turning around and walking out. 

Jackson loved JB. Present tense; never stopped. He looked at JB everyday and felt feelings that Jinyoung hadn’t known about for years. There was someone looking at JB the same way Jinyoung did and it was someone close to him. It wasn’t like he was jealous or insecure or even possessive, but he would have liked to have been told. 

They reach Jackson’s floor and he brings out his keys. The sound of them jangling carries and two seconds later,  a slow banging starts up from the other side of the door. Jinyoung gives Jackson a look of concern and Jackson looks back warily in response. 

“She’s just putting on a show.”

Jinyoung doesn’t accept or deny this so Jackson turns back to unlock the door. Opening it, the doorway reveals a girl with dishevelled hair and ripped clothes. Various bruises line her arms and there’s a rather vibrant one on her neck beginning to show. The girl, with hair hiding part of her face makes eye contact with Jinyoung.

“Help…” she whispers, taking a small step forward before falling weakly into Jinyoung’s arms.

 

**Scene 2- The show must go on**

Whether it made much difference to the crowd, the concert finally started up and Youngjae took to the stage. From the sidelines, JB watches as his song lyrics came out of Youngjae’s mouth. Unfortunately he can barely hear them; his thoughts alone are too loud. 

He wonders if Jackson and Jinyoung had made it to the apartment already. Was Raven really there? Was Youngjae right and Jackson really had done something to her? No. He rationalised, Jackson wasn’t a violent person, and if anything, Raven was the one abusing him; she was emotionally manipulative, controlling, and a serious pain in Jackson’s ass, JB knew it to be true...he just wondered where Youngjae was getting all these stories from.

Footsteps come up from behind him and turning, JB can make out Mark being led over by one of the stage managers.

“It’s your brother, sir.”

JB nods in thanks and the Stage manager leaves. Mark looks around awkwardly.

“Look-,” he begins to speak but JB cuts him off.

“I’m sorry.” Mark blinks rapidly in surprise. JB continues, “I shouldn’t have lashed out at you like that before. It was the stress of the situation and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you, no matter what you said.”

Mark is stunned. “I came to apologise you.”

“I mean, you still can if you want,” JB attempts to joke. “Mentioning the police did escalate the situation, but don’t worry about it. I’m more sorry.” 

“Don’t worry about it, hyung.” Mark wraps an arm around JB’s neck and they share a short hug of consolation before stepping apart. They watch Youngjae’s performance for a while before JB speaks up again, breaking the silence. 

“Mark.”

“Yeah?”

“Did Jinyoung talk to you about any of this?” 

Mark doesn’t answer immediately, but after a short pause he nods his head. 

“Did he purposefully not tell me?”

Mark looks back out onto the stage and shrugs, “He probably didn’t want to worry you. The situation involves two people that you’re close to and work with; how difficult would that have been?”

JB looks down at the ground, his shoulders falling as he whips his hair back. Eventually he nods in agreement. “Yeah, you’re probably right.” He attempts a smile and Mark smiles back. “Hey, do you mind staying with the kids? I bet they’re worried...but I  don’t know what to tell them right now.”

“Sure.”

JB pats his brother on the shoulder in thanks and Mark leaves the backstage area. 

***

Youngjae’s set finishes and the MC steps up to say a few words. Standing back stage, Youngjae comes straight towards JB and they stand together in tense silence. The MC finishes his interlude and Day6 take their places. Their song starts before Youngjae says anything.

“Are they back yet?” he asks.

JB tries not to let his emotions get the better of him. “It’s been barely thirty minutes.”

“I’m going to check on her.” Youngjae turns to go but JB grabs his arm, alarmed.

“You can’t leave, we’re in the middle of a concert.”

Youngjae turns to him, “She’s trapped JB, don’t you get that?”

“I don’t believe it.”

“Seriously?”

JB turns and takes a step towards Youngjae, catching the singer off guard. “Did it ever occur to you that the girl you care so much about might be crying wolf?” Youngjae simply stares at his boss in disbelief. 

“She’s lying.” JB explains. “I’ve known about her for longer than you think. I know what she does and I know how she acts. Jackson tells me  **everything** . There’s just as much evidence on Jackson’s side to say that she’s the one abusing him.”

“What?”

“Is that so hard for you to accept?”

Youngjae keeps staring at his boss and they’re left in this stalemate until Day6’s song ends. Youngjae reluctantly backs down first.

“Look, I don’t want to get into it with you because none of this is your fault. I’m just trying to make sure she’s safe and isn’t in any danger. I never meant for any of this to involve you.”

“But you did involve me! The second you ran out and attacked Jackson and ruined the face of our company!”

“I’m not apologising,” he continues. “I just want her to be safe, so please let me go.”

JB looks back towards the stage in surrender, knowing he’s not going to change Youngjae’s mind at any point. If he was being honest,  he wanted to go and check as well. He knew Jackson was innocent but he still wanted to go and be there for him; it was wrong for him to just send Jinyoung.

Everything was running as smoothly as it could on stage, considering the circumstances, so he speaks aloud his thoughts. “With everything that happened, even if we were to try and leave, it would be difficult to avoid photographers and keep them from following you.”

“You’re coming with me?”

JB sees that Youngjae’s face has become more amicable from his suggestion of leaving and instead of taking it back, he just shrugs his shoulders. “I’m only going to prove that you’re wrong about Jackson. Then I’m bringing you straight back for final bows, and apologies; I am not apologising on your behalf again.”

Youngjae shakes his head, obviously still refusing to consider any other facts, but at least they were on the same page.

“Let me talk to the stage manager and we can see about what we can do to get out without being spotted.”

 

**Scene 3 - The Reckoning**

JB pulls up to Jackson’s apartment and isn’t thrilled when the first thing he sees are police cars in the parking lot. Youngjae jumps out of the car and heads in but he stops, anxious, unsure of where he’s going. He has no choice but to follow JB upstairs until they see Jackson’s front door wide open, then he runs in on his own. 

Stepping in himself, JB looks around the apartment. The living room is trashed, the TV is knocked over and the carpet is covered in the dirt from a plant pot that used to sit in the corner; it’s now broken in pieces everywhere. The kitchen is also full of open drawers  with their contents spilling out all over the place. 

In the centre of all that stood Jinyoung, Jackson and what JB assumed was Raven, all talking to different police officers. Youngjae is already standing next to Raven and blocks her from view, but JB can make out her disarranged form. Hearing her speak, it sounds like she’s crying and Youngjae hugs her close to him immediately. 

Jackson is next to them, speaking loudly in defensive mode to the officer that’s questioning him. He doesn’t even notice JB walk in, so JB looks to the one person who has for answers. Jinyoung sees him, looks him up and down and then turns back to his officer, before giving a final nod. The officer steps away and JB takes that opportunity to walk up to him.

“What’s going on?” he asks.

Jinyoung shrugs his shoulders and fixes his jacket, “If you want to know, just ask Jackson.”

JB is taken aback by this offhanded response but tries to plow through it; it was understandable that Jinyoung was annoyed, so he tries to apologise. “Look, I’m sorry you had to be the one to come out here and take care of this-”

“You think I’m angry about that?” Jinyoung looks up at JB with disbelief.  His partner is left confused and this only seems to anger Jinyoung even more. With a cold look in his eyes, Jinyoung says something JB never thought he’d hear his husband say. “Tell me Jackson isn’t still in love with you.”  

“What?” JB whispers in shock.

“Tell me you don’t work with him everyday, knowing that he’s still in love with you and have never told me?”

JB stares at Jinyoung, unable to answer. The silence, however, isn’t something Jinyoung seems surprised by, he just laughs in that sardonic way he does and nods. Without another word, he passes JB and heads out the door.

Jackson approaches JB next, having finishing talking to his officer. He doesn’t register the look of shock and confusion on JB’s face. “I have to go to the police station for more questioning,” he tells him.

JB is only half listening, and gives an instinctual reply. “How did the police even get involved?”

Mild annoyance slips into Jackson’s voice. “Jinyoung called them.” JB is startled out of his daze by hearing Jinyoung’s name.

“He what? Why would he do that?”

Jackson shifts his eyes, “He knows...he knows about us. He’s not exactly happy about it.”

“”But how-” JB gets interrupted by the police officer that had been interviewing Jinyoung earlier.

“If you and your guardian are ready to go?”

Turning around, JB can see that Youngjae and Raven are already gone. Unable to do anything else, Jackson and JB make their way downstairs, only to hear the sounds of an unwanted crowd waiting to meet them; a mixture of paparazzi and journalists. It turned out he and Youngjae hadn’t been careful enough in trying to avoid them and that meant every single camera jumped onto Jackson as soon as they saw him.

“Is the girl that just went past an ex-girlfriend of yours?” One shouts.

“Do you have a statement towards the allegations of abuse and assault she has against you?”

“How do they know about all this?” Jackson asks in JB’s direction. 

There’s serious stress beginning to line his face. “I don’t know.”

They finally make it to a police car where Jackson gets in but doesn’t move over for JB to join him. He looks up at him from a closed door instead. 

“Go home, JB.”

JB tries to open the door but finds that he can’t. “No, I can’t just leave you.”

“Yes you can, I can deal with this myself.”

“Jackson-”

“I can find another guardian.” With conviction he leans out of the window. “One of the promises I made to you is that if I was allowed to stay by your side, I wouldn't ruin what you had with Jinyoung. You need to go after him.”

“He’ll understand-”

“No, he won’t.” Jackson places a hand on JB’s wrist through the car and gives him a consoling smile. “You need to go. If you leave now, you might even beat him home.”

JB isn’t entirely convinced that Jackson will be alright, but at the back of his mind he’s replaying the short but emotion filled conversation he had with Jinyoung earlier. Jinyoung’s anger wasn’t outspoken but JB could sense it. It worried him and he did want to fix it as soon as possible...but Jackson was essentially being arrested. Not only that but he’d had photographs taken of the event; that was bad for his own image as well as the company’s. How bad would it look now if JB was to just run off and leave him?

“Just go home.” Jackson says again. “I can take care of myself.”

JB looks around at the current state of events but knows his final decision. Eyes guilty, he taps the hood of the car. “I’m sorry.”

Jackson smiles, “No. It’s okay.”

“I’ll call you later, alright.” JB shouts, running back through the crowd and heading to his own car.  _ Please don’t let him get sent to jail for something he didn’t do _ , he adds, praying to himself.

  
  


**Scene 4- The Real Confrontation (Part 2)**

Jinyoung turns into his neighbourhood. He'd called Mark on the way home as he had no intention of going back  to the concert. 

“...If you could bring the kids home that would be great. Sorry to put all this on you.”

“No, it’s alright. I don’t mind... Are you okay though?”

Jinyoung sighs, as he turns down the street. “No...but I will be.” 

Coming closer to the house, he can see a car parked in the driveway. Incredibly, as he gets closer, he sees that JB has managed to beat him home. Jinyoung had wanted something to dull his senses and so he hadn't paid much attention to where he was driving. It had never occurred to him that JB would be ready and waiting for him when he got back. Seeing his husband standing there, frustrated and alone, made his heart crumble, but only because the sight of him dug up all of the anger he had desperately tried to get rid of . 

Turning off the engine, Jinyoung sits and looks ahead for a minute. Mentally steeling himself, he then opens the door to get out of the car. JB strides forward to meet him immediately.

“Jinyoung…” His voice is urgent but he trails off.  

Taking a deep breath, Jinyoung speaks with as much restraint as he can muster. “I don’t want to argue with you right now.”

“But I...” Once again JB can’t get his words out and Jinyoung’s patience runs dry. He shakes his head and walks past JB to the front door. 

He hears JB’s footsteps coming from behind him but he doesn’t stop. He heads to the staircase, hoping to make it to the bedroom or the bathroom; somewhere where he could place a door between them and he could physically curb any damage he might throw in JB’s direction, but of course he doesn’t make it in time. He only makes it to the top of the stairs before JB stops him with a hand on his arm. 

“Jinyoung, stop. I know what I need to say.”

Jinyoung doesn’t look at him, but there’s cold rage deep in his voice, only barely being held back. “Why do you feel like you need to **say** anything?”

“Please, just look at me.”

Jinyoung doesn’t listen. “Why aren’t you at the police station with Jackson?” 

He feels JB squeeze his arm. “Because I knew I had to be here, with you. To make this right.”

Jinyoung shakes off his hand. “There’s nothing to make right. You should have gone with him. I know your  _ friend _ needs you.” 

“Please don’t be angry about this.” JB begs, and that’s when Jinyoung turns to him, his face a picture of utter betrayal.

“Are you really asking me to not be angry right now?”

“I can explain everything. All of it.” JB’s voice is full of determination. 

Jinyoung lets out a mirthless laugh, emotions haphazardly coming loose. “All of what? The story of how you’ve been keeping a love story warm behind my back?”

“It’s not like that.”

“Then what’s it like?”

“He’s my best friend. I couldn’t abandon him.”

Jinyoung laughs again, louder this time. “So, what? You thought I wouldn’t understand?”

“I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“I don’t know what hurts more, the fact that you didn’t tell me or the fact that I had to hear it from your own brother.”

JB looks surprised by this. “Mark told you?”

“Who else would tell me, JB?! You certainly didn’t.”

JB pauses and Jinyoung turns away, too exasperated to even look at him. That’s when they both hear the front door downstairs open and close, coupled with the distinct voices of Yugyeom and Bam Bam.  

JB’s voice becomes quieter as a result. “Jinyoung, I love you. Isn’t that all that matters?”

“Lovers don’t keep secrets.”

“I don’t understand why this bothers you so much-”

Those words alone make Jinyoung’s rage erupt once more. “Because you tell Jackson everything! Everything about your life! Everything about us; every little problem, every little argument. You don’t think I know that? Don't you think that might lead him on? Give him hope? You see him everyday, how do you think that makes me feel?” 

“And you tell Mark everything, how do you think that makes me feel?” JB bringing up Mark strikes a nerve. “I don’t complain about it all the time or get angry. I don’t take it out on Mark either and call the police on him!”

“Oh my God JB, she was covered in bruises. She collapsed into my arms when he opened the door. What was I supposed to do?”

“If you knew this was going on, you should have told me about it earlier!”

“Why?”  Jinyoung counters.  “So you could cover for him?”

JB clenches and unclenches his fist. “I wouldn’t have covered for him, I just would have handled it better.”

“It still doesn’t change the fact that there was a woman **locked in his apartment** for hours with obvious injuries!”

“He’s not like that! He would never do that to someone!”

“Of course you would know that having had a relationship with him and all.”

“Jinyoung, stop it! You’re overreacting.”

Jinyoung’s eyes widen. “I’m overreacting?”

“We’re just friends!”

“Friends? Friends where one of you is still in love with the other? Or, are you here to tell me you had no knowledge of that, because from Jackson’s point of view it seems you’re well aware of it.”

JB closes his eyes in frustration.

“Friends where you talk about the ups and downs of your own marriage, messing with his feelings, and being entirely inconsiderate about our privacy?”

“Well maybe if you spent some more time with me, we wouldn’t have so many problems.”

This makes Jinyoung pause, and JB himself  seems shocked by what he’s just said.

Jinyoung’s voice goes deathly quiet. “Do you want me to quit my job?”

“No, J, that isn’t what I meant-”

His voice rises slightly. “I asked you before and you said no, but now here you are bringing it up again.”

“J-”

“Why is so hard for you to tell me that you miss me?!” He shouts. “You can say it for everyone else but not for yourself. Not to mention, I’m not the only one in this house working all the time. Do you really want me thinking that you spend so much time at work because of your ex? Because I’m not around and he’s the next best thing?”

“No!” A tear of frustration rolls down JB’s cheek. “No, please, please. I’m sorry. Stop.”

“No, I won’t stop. I love you too, but now I know there’s someone else in your life that you’re close too that feels exactly the same way.”

“Jinyoung-”

“And you just kept him in your life-”

“You don’t understand.”

“No...I don’t.” Jinyoung sighs and walks past JB to head back down the stairs. 

JB’s surprised voice calls out from behind him. “Wait, where are you going?”

“I’ll be back later.”

“What, no.” His voice is pleading.

Jinyoung grabs his jacket and heads for the front door. The kids stare at them as they make their way downstairs but Jinyoung doesn't look at either of their faces, he just makes his way out the door. 

On the front drive, Mark is about to get into a taxi and Jinyoung calls out to stop him. 

“Get in my car.”

Mark looks unsettled by his sudden exit from the house. “What just happened?”

Jinyoung ignores the question. “I'm giving you a ride home.”

“Jinyoung!” JB appears as well, just in time to see Jinyoung slam his car door closed. 

Jinyoung looks to a wavering Mark instead of his own husband. “Get in now or I don't know where I'll go.”

Mark looks between his brother and his brothers partner, but ultimately decides to get in the car, and they both drive off, leaving Jaebum far behind them. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I'm sorry again :'(


	16. Episode 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I agree with everything everyone is saying wholeheartedly. You're all just reading my mind.   
> (This chapter has references to rape and sexual and physical assault [all untrue of course] but I thought I'd add a trigger warning)

**Scene 1  - The Displacement Theory**

Mark looks warily at Jinyoung as he drives in stony silence. “What was all that about?” he asks.

“I don't want to talk about it.”

“Alright-”

“Why'd you have to tell me!” Jinyoung shouts out of nowhere, his hand slamming against the steering wheel. “If you'd never told me, none of this would have happened.”

Mark presses his head into the headrest, realising what’s happened. “You fought, didn’t you?” 

“Was this your plan? Was this how you'd get me to come over to your side?”

“What, no!” 

Jinyoung speeds up and Mark has to hold on to the arm of his seat. 

“I can't believe he didn't tell me.”

Mark feels like he should rush to his brother’s defence. “They dated. So what?”

“Jackson is still in love him!”

“What?” Mark sounds confused by this.

“Didn't you know that either?” Jinyoung turns to him, emotions floored from the possibility. 

“Eyes on the road, eyes on the road!” Mark shouts. 

Jinyoung looks back in front of him and sees traffic up ahead. He slows down just in time and they come to a stand still. 

Mark, slowly letting go of his arm rest, finally collects himself to answer. “No...I didn't know Jackson still loved him.”

Jinyoung can’t keep still now that the car has stopped. “It’s not even the fact that they dated, or the fact that they’re friends. Loads of people become friends with their exes...after a period of time has passed, but Jackson… He’s just so close to him. Closer, now that I realise what’s going on.”

“And it bothers you.”

“Of course it bothers me! JB just doesn’t get that.”

“And then you had that fight.”

Jinyoung slams into the back of his seat, eyes closed. “Of course we did, and I had to leave because we were both getting frustrated and the kids were there… Yugyeom’s face…” Realisation hitting him, Jinyoung places his head in his hands. “I didn’t even say anything to him, I just left.”

Mark nodded along with what Jinyoung was saying but didn’t know what words of consolation he could give. It was a difficult situation and he had played his part in it. 

Traffic begins moving again and Jinyoung takes the wheel. They continue the drive in heavy silence. 

 

**Scene 2 - Contemplation**

Jackson sits alone in front of a police desk. Adjacent to him is a whimpering Raven and a deluded Youngjae trying to comfort her. 

Everything Raven had told Youngjae, and, by extension, the police, up until this point had been a lie; him attacking her, as well as the story about him locking her in his apartment. He’d wanted to say so many things in his defence, but there hadn't been a chance. Youngjae had been the one listing off all the allegations and Raven had stayed quiet, allowing him to solely speak for her; she just sat  there and cried. 

If she had been the one explaining everything, maybe Jackson would have said more in his defence, but against Youngjae… Despite everything that had happened, they were friends. Jackson didn't want to fight with him anymore, especially if he was the one being used here and wasn't a hundred percent sure of everything that was going on. Yes, Jackson was angry at Youngjae; someone who he thought of as a friend had attacked him, but he hadn't brought that up to the police. That wasn't Youngjae's fault. They were friends to the last...at least that's what Jackson was hoping for; that philosophy had to win through.

The police officer in front of him was typing out a report on his computer and hadn’t asked Jackson any questions for a long time. Jackson wanted to think that the lack of action wasn’t stressing him out and neither was sitting there alone while one of his friends played right into his ex girlfriend's hands, but it was, and despite sending JB away, he really wished his best friend could be there with him.

He’d done a good thing, he told himself. JB had to be with Jinyoung right now; their relationship couldn't handle anymore hardship and Jackson honestly didn’t want to be at fault for anything else...he’d already done enough. He had to uphold the promise he made...but now he was at the police station. 

Leaning back in his chair, he closes his eyes and thinks back to the day his hopes for him and JB first started to dissolve. 

 

**Scene 3 - Preparation**

_ Jackson stands in the doorway of JB’s bedroom and watches him route through mounds and mounds of clothes that have all ended up on his floor. _

_ “What are you doing?” _

_ “I need to find something to wear.” _

_ “When have you ever cared about wearing anything other than a white shirt and jeans?” Jackson laughs. “It’s your signature  look.” _

_ JB turns to give his friend a look of exasperation. “I need something better than that.” _

_ Jackson steps in and starts looking through the clothes as well. “Tell me what you’re looking for.  Maybe I can help.” _

_ “You?” JB stares at him dubiously. “You come to work in tracksuits.” _

_ “So we’re looking for something more professional than a tracksuit…” Jackson mumbles before turning around with a childish look of worry. “You’re not going for a job interview are you? Do you hate JYP that much?” _

_ JB hits Jackson from behind and keeps routing through clothes. “Shut up. He’s basically my dad, why would I leave?” _

_ Jackson laughs while picking up a navy and dark blue striped button down shirt. “What about this?” _

_ JB stares at it for a second before taking it in his own hands and holding it up against his frame. Looking down, his hair falls into his eye. “You think?” _

_ Jackson flicks a curl out of JB’s face and smiles proudly. “Yeah, why not...and then…” He searches around the room once more before lunging for a pair of brown trousers and hands them over as well.  _

_ JB takes them, looking unsure, so Jackson explains. “Professional but casual. Lazy but smart. All the traits of you.” Then he proceeds to scrunch up his nose and make a high-pitched noise. “And you’ll look so cute.” _

_ “Shut up!” JB shouts, shoving Jackson out the door. Unfortunately, he proceeds to make cute sounds even after the door is closed.   _

_ He stays close while JB gets changed. “So what is this for?” _

_ “Um...nothing really.” JB replies through the door. “I’m just going out.” _

_ “And a white t-shirt wouldn’t do it?” _

_ “No!” He exclaims. _

_ “Are you sure it’s not a job interview?” _

_ “I just...I just wanted to look better today. Is that a crime?” _

_ Jackson pouts. “No.” He places his hands in his pockets and leans on the door, only to fall through it when it opens up again. JB catches him before he falls and helps him stand up. Jackson turns around to face him and is shocked by what he sees…the outfit suits him more than he expected. JB looks adorable, and with his hair tousled and wavy like that, he’s a picture of handsome as well. Jackson’s heart pounds from the image.  _

_ JB stands there and shrugs in front of him, ruffling his hair and looking mildly embarrassed . “So, how does it look?” _

_ Jackson squeals and JB has to hit him again to make him shut up. When he finally stops joking around, JB steps past him to grab his wallet and keys from the kitchen table. _

_ “You have to tell me where you’re going.” Jackson begs, following him. _

_ “Jackson, I’m going to be late.” _

_ Despite hearing this, Jackson grabs his hand and pulls on him like a child. “Come on, tell me. Tell me, tell me, tell me.” JB doesn’t stop so, instead of waiting for an answer, Jackson just takes out his phone. “At least let me take a picture.” _

_ JB turns, shocked, and places a hand up to block his face as soon as he sees what Jackson plans to do. “Jackson, no. I have to go.” _

_ “Please, just one. Smile for me.” _

_ “Jackson-” _

_ “You look so cute-” _

_ “No.”  _

_ It's all fun for Jackson until JB takes the phone out of his hands, his face looking pained. Jackson is surprised by this and stares at him.  _

_ In his well put together outfit and his keys, wallet and camera beside him already set out on the table, JB looks far too prepared just to be casually leaving the house.  _

_ JB messes with his hair again and Jackson watches him wince, his eyebrows coming together to show worry as well. Everything becomes all too clear. _

_ “Are you going on a date?” Jackson asks, point blank. _

_ JB’s wince becomes larger, to the point that he closes his eyes, the hand with the phone in it falling to the table as he leans on it. With his eyes re-opening, he says, “I shouldn’t have gotten you to help me.” _

_ Jackson consoles him. “No, no it’s okay.”  _

_ “We just started talking again…” _

_ “Don’t...I’m the one who barged in-” _

_ “Jackson -” _

_ “Don’t try and shield me from these things.” _

_ JB shakes his head and turns back to him. “I shouldn’t be bringing up new relationships with you-” _

_ “JB.” Jackson stops him before he can say anymore, his face a mask of contentment. He takes his phone from JB’s hand and places it back in his pocket. “I want...to be close to you. I made that decision. Don’t feel guilty about moving on just because...I’m here.” _

_ JB stares at him for a while, unsure, but Jackson only gives him another smile and nods at JB’s keys and his phone. “Go. Don’t worry about me. I won’t be here when you get back.” _

 

**Scene 4 - Incarceration**

The officer was still typing away when Jackson opened his eyes back up, only now Youngjae and Raven were speaking aloud. Jackson’s patience began to rapidly decrease.

“...you can’t honestly say you’re only charging him for assault?” Youngjae asks, sounding incredulous.

“Mr. Wang did admit to them having sex, but he says it was consensual-”

“But that’s not what she’s saying!”

“In his defence Mr. Choi, she hasn’t said much of anything.”

Youngjae stands up enraged, “What exactly do you want her to say? She’s in shock!”

“If she wants to speak to one of our counsellors-”

“She was r-”

“Youngjae, sit down.” Jackson’s deep voice is beyond rage. 

“What?”

“You don’t know anything, so just sit down.”

“This is your fault!”

Jackson stands up and grabs Youngjae by the collar, causing all the officers to stand up in alarm. “Sit down!” he repeats. “You aren’t apart of this!”

“See!” Youngjae says in the officers direction. “He’s violent but he hides it well. Lock him up.”

Jackson lets him go, but out of annoyance more than anything. “How can you be on her side?!”

“Mr. Wang, please come with us.” An officer takes Jackson by the arm but he shakes him off, causing more of a stir. 

“I’ve been your friend for years, Youngjae!” They get two officers to hold him this time and he continues shouting as they drag him away. “How can you be on her side?!”

 

**Scene 5 - Take back control**

JB, while navigating his own heartbreak, stands in the living room trying to calm down a distressed Yugyeom and angry Bam Bam.

“Why did Daddy Jinyoung leave like that?” Yugyeom cries, looking at JB for answers. 

Bam Bam chimes in as well. “What did you do do to make him leave?”

“I didn’t do anything.” JB explains. “He just went out to clear his head-”

Yugyeom shakes his head, “You two were fighting!”

“I know we were but we fight sometimes-”

“He stormed out.” Bam Bam points at the door to reiterate his point. “Daddy Jinyoung doesn’t usually storm out like that when you two fight.”

JB fights to get himself heard. “He just wanted to clear his head.”

He felt overwhelmed and scared; he didn’t know how to handle this. He wanted Jinyoung to walk back through the door and allow them a chance to make up. Then they could console Yugyeom and Bam Bam and everything would be okay again...but the chaos wouldn’t be solved that easily. Every time JB glanced at the door, Jinyoung did not walk through it.

JB’s phone rang and he took it out to decline the caller but saw that it was a blocked number.  _ It’s probably Jackson calling from the police station _ , he reasoned. He knew it wasn’t the best situation, but he was obligated to answer the phone. 

“Hello?”

“JB?” It was Jackson’s voice. “I’m sorry to call you. I know you’re dealing with a lot.”

JB shakes his head, trying to hold his breath and keep from breaking down. Bam Bam was making judgemental faces and he had to just wave them away while talking.

“Tell me what’s happening.” JB continues. “You obviously called me for a reason.”

“I don’t know what to do.” Jackson’s voice is quiet and JB can tell that he’s scared. “They actually locked me up.”

“What?”

“I got angry... They want to charge me for assault, sexual assault…” he drifts off but, when his voice comes back, it rises. “Youngjae wants me charged for rape.”

“He what?”

“She isn’t saying anything, but it was consensual. I slept with her but I didn’t do anything else. You believe me right?”

“Of course I do...but…”

“How am I going it prove it, exactly.”

Bam Bam is still giving his dad a dirty look when JB looks up. 

“Hang on a second, Jackson.” He takes the phone away from his ear and looks at his kids.

“I know you’re upset and confused, and I know that Jinyoung leaving isn’t the greatest, but I have so much to deal with right now so can you  **please** bear with me? Go upstairs and distract yourselves until I get off the phone.” 

Bam Bam doesn’t move. 

“Please.” JB begs.

With reluctance, Bam Bam turns to go upstairs. JB has to give his youngest a comforting look before he can stand up from the couch and make his way upstairs. 

When they are finally out of sight, JB  has a moment to take a breath for himself, but just one, before he raises the phone back to his ear.

“Jackson?”

“Yeah, still here.”

JB pushes down every emotion that distracts him from his current situation and takes a deep breath. It was the only way he was going to get through this phone conversation, let alone the night. His voice is full of steel when he speaks again. “If Raven is the one who did this to you, you have to get her to admit it. That’s the only way you’re going to get out of this situation.”

“But she won’t.”

“She will if you say the right things; do the right things.” Jackson is silent from the other end so JB continues. “I know you hate her, but you’ve never turned her away. In some respect you must be close to her. You have to know what she wants in order to go this far.”

“JB-”

“Think...what has Raven wanted more than anything else?”

 

**Scene 6 - Realisation**

From the other side of the phone, Jackson draws a blank. He doesn’t have long; the phone is literally being held up to his ear through the bars.

When he and Raven started dating, he hadn’t gone into the relationship from fear of being alone. He had genuinely wanted to move on, like JB had. He didn’t want to be stuck waiting for someone who may not come back to him...but that’s what held him back. The ‘may’. His heart couldn’t let it go, and as he started dating Raven, he kept on making JB the priority. 

Anything to do with JB was the priority. Work life or life in general, Jackson placed more importance on those things, without even realising it. That had been what destroyed his and Raven's relationship; the lack of comprehending his own emotions. Because of that, Raven was always second best… To her credit, she stuck it out for as long as she could but in the end she couldn’t do it anymore.

“Jackson?” JB’s voice broke him out of his thoughts.

His reply was instant. “I think I know what to do.”

 

**Scene 7- A Lucid Mistake**

Upon entering Mark’s house, after driving through heavy traffic in silence,  Jinyoung collapses on his couch, his head falling all the way back his eyes closed. Mark heads to the kitchen to grab some water and returns to Jinyoung who looks like a timebomb waiting to go off. 

He rests the water on the coffee table and joins Jinyoung on the couch.

“I don’t know what to do.” Jinyoung groans, leaning forward and taking a sip from the glass.

Mark nods again and watches as Jinyoung drinks all the water in one sip. Not sure where he stands, he’s unsure of what to do. Without much thought, he places a hand on Jinyoung’s knee but Jinyoung takes it the wrong way.

“Get your hand off me.”

Mark does as he’s told but now feels more helpless than before. 

“Don’t take advantage of the situation just because I’m here.” Jinyoung continues, voice icy.

“Don’t take your anger out on me just because you want someone to blame.” Mark whispers. Jinyoung is shocked by his words. “Just because something bad happened between you and my brother, doesn’t mean that I’m going to insert myself into somewhere I don’t belong.”

Jinyoung tries to turn away, mildly embarrassed, but Mark looks him square in the eye. “Did it ever occur to you that the reason you’re so angry at JB is because of what’s happening between us?”

“Nothing is happening between us.” Jinyoung declares.

“Exactly.” Mark squares his shoulders as he reels out the facts. “I may have feelings for you, but you don’t have feelings for me...yet you’re still here. Isn’t our relationship the same as JB and Jackson’s?” 

Jinyoung’s face is unreadable as Mark continues. “And, not to point out the fact that you’re being a hypocrite, but you being so angry that they didn’t tell you about their past relationship is pure bullshit. You haven’t told JB about ours, and there are plenty of things you really should have told him.”

“I-”

“You don’t have a lot of faults Jinyoung, but I never thought being a hypocrite was one of them.”

Jinyoung stares at Mark in disbelief but Mark just shrugs and picks up the glass he’d brought out, leaving Jinyoung to think. 

Mark was right, he’d gotten angry too fast and had stormed out of his own house because of it, leaving his family upset. He wanted to blame someone, whether it was Mark, or his own stress, but he knew neither of those were honest options...and just like Jackson and JB, if Jinyoung was being truly candid with himself, what had been happening with Mark had been going on for years. There was the kiss from a couple weeks back but he had to also think about the kiss from New Years Eve. Mark had had feelings for him even then and Jinyoung had chosen to ignore them; forget them. Whether that was for the sake of his relationship with JB, or his friendship with Mark, he wasn’t sure, and, despite thinking everything was okay after that, those feelings had found their way to the surface again and Mark had decided not to turn them away...and Jinyoung couldn’t blame him. None of this was innocent but Jinyoung had decided to keep it to himself…and on the other side, so had JB. 

Guilt had been swirling inside him for a while, but he had still decided to stay silent, and yet here he was lashing out at his own husband for almost doing exactly the same thing. Remorse enveloped him and he took out his phone immediately.

He found JB’s number, knowing the best thing he could do to fix the situation was call. Dialling JB’s number he places the phone to his ear and waits anxiously for an answer...but the line goes straight to busy. 

He stands up from the couch and tries again, catching Mark’s attention as he enters the kitchen on the phone. 

“You trying to call him?”

Jinyoung nods, just as the phone goes to busy once again. After a couple more calls to JB going busy, Jinyoung slams down his phone and stares up at the kitchen ceiling. 

JB was on the phone to Jackson. He knew he was and that made him angry again. He was trying to fix their problems and he couldn’t even do that because now Jackson was getting in the way.

“Calm down.” Mark tells him, having witnessed all of this. “Don’t displace your feelings or get jealous.”

“I can’t help it.”

“It gets easier.” Mark muses, leaning back on the wall opposite him. Jinyoung looks back down and sees a sad smile on his brother-in-law’s face. 

“Are you...are you talking about yourself?”

“Who else would I be talking about?”

Jinyoung stares at Mark until he’s forced to elaborate.

“I think it’s pretty clear I’ve had feelings for you for a long time.”

Jinyoung nods along.

“But I never acted on them. At first it was because I wasn’t sure you liked me...at all. You treated me so badly when we met.”

“I didn’t.”

Mark laughs. “You did...but then we started working together and I started to get to know you...and we became friends… Then I had that whole inner argument with myself about ruining our friendship versus looking for something more, but by the time I was sure of what I wanted to do, you and JB had found each other.” His smile slowly disappears. “It was the most coincidental thing, you being Youngjae’s friend. Then by the time I found out, you and JB had already been dating for a while, I just hadn’t realised the guy he’d been praising all that time had been you...we had completely different opinions over what you were like.”

“How so?” Jinyoung’s question snaps Mark out of his memories. His eyes focus on him and he’s smiling again.

“JB saw you as this equally quiet person that he could share things with without having to say too much, whereas I saw you as this strongly opinionated leader.” Jinyoung starts to laugh but Mark continues to speak over him. “It’s hard to reach any sort of agreement with you.”

“Okay, okay.”

“But I liked that about you...I just couldn’t tell you because you and JB had already started. 

“At first I was jealous… I felt like I knew you better and he was only seeing one side of you that I had pretty much never seen...but I couldn’t steal you from my brother...so I waited to see how you two turned out. 

“You made your relationship official, you stayed together for longer than I ever expected, even after he found out about your strong opinions...and then you got engaged...and then you got married.”

Jinyoung nods again. 

“I had pushed down my feelings so much that I just forgot that I loved you.”

“But you had New Years Eve.”

Mark nods, “I did have New Years Eve, you’re right, but I didn’t do much with it, did I?” He smiles again before shrugging. “I waited so long for you. I thought maybe one day you would see me, but you never did. You only had eyes for JB, just like JB only has eyes for you. This is a bump in the road for you two. I can see it.”

Jinyoung watches as Mark stands up straight, trying to smile through and it tugs at Jinyoung’s heart. As he tries to step past him, Jinyoung grabs his hand. “I’m sorry.” Mark turns to him as he speaks. “I’m sorry I didn’t see you.”

Mark looks at Jinyoung and smiles brighter. Jinyoung squeezes his hand but doesn’t let it go. The distance between them is small but neither of them moves to change that. The kitchen is cold but both of them feel warm and because he can’t help himself, Mark leans in and gives Jinyoung a small kiss on the lips. 

It doesn’t last long and he pulls away immediately, apologetic. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that- I told you I wouldn’t take advantage of the situation.”

Instead of lashing out, Jinyoung shakes his head. He reaches up his free hand to brush against Mark’s cheek before placing his hand firmly behind Mark’s head. “No,” he whispers. “It’s okay.” He pulls his brother in law forward and, for once, their lips connect without any resistance. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JJproject outfit for a first date? I think so :*


	17. Episode 17

**Scene 1 - Woke**

Jinyoung woke up in a cold sweat on the couch. He stares down at his clothes; they were still on. He touches his legs and his neck anxiously and looks around but he’s alone.

**_Jinyoung’s arms slowly wrap around Mark’s neck._ ** _ ‘What?’  _ The thought flashes into his head without warning and he clings onto the couch as more fly past. **_Their lips fly over each other as they make their way into Mark’s bedroom and fall onto his bed._ **

“No, no, no.” Jinyoung mumbles, messing with his hair and shutting his eyes. The story continues. **_Mark takes off his shirt. Jinyoung takes off his. The sheets fall off the bed and  their bodies touch more than they ever have..._**

Before the memories get to graphic, Mark tumbles out of his bedroom door, half asleep. Jinyoung turns to him, eyes wide and confused. Mark, with his hair standing up at all angles, smiles as he passes the couch Jinyoung is sitting on to head to the kitchen. “Did you sleep okay?” He asks.

“What?”

Jinyoung watches as Mark grabs a glass of water. “You fell asleep on the couch.”

“I did?”

“...After a few more calls to JB. I offered up my bed…” Mark laughs awkwardly, “but you weren’t really happy with that idea. You fell asleep right there after I gave you a bottle of soju...but I see you finished off more.” He nods at some of the bottles on the counter.

Jinyoung stands up and also stares at the bottles, his heartbeat only just beginning to slow.

“Did you have a nightmare?” Mark asks, pouring another glass and holding it out to Jinyoung. “You always have bad dreams after drinking alcohol.”

Jinyoung takes the water and tries to keep his brain from imploding.

“I need to see JB,” he whispers, before taking a sip.

 

**Scene 2 - Everything is fine**

Bam Bam walks silently behind his brother as they make their way up from P.E. Yugyeom had been in a fog all day and Bam didn’t know what to do about it.

After Daddy Jinyoung left the night before, Yugyeom had been doing more crying than speaking. Bam could understand why his brother was upset but he personally felt more angry than sad; how could Daddy Jinyoung walk out like that without saying anything, especially to Yugyeom? His brother was sensitive to everything, as much as he tried to argue that he wasn’t. Bam tried to be as supportive as possible, but being as angry as he was, it was hard.

They turn into their classroom and begin getting changed from P.E. Yugyeom looks like he is about to cry again.

“Don’t.” Bam Bam warns his brother, wary of all the other student around them. “He’s going to come home. Stop worrying about it.”

Yugyeom shakes his head, and opens his mouth for the first time in hours. “But what if he doesn’t.” His voice is a hoarse whisper.

“Gyeom.” Bam Bam gathers all the supportive strength he can muster. “Daddy Jinyoung loves Daddy JB. You and I both know that, so he’ll come back. Whatever they were fighting about, they’ll talk about it… Daddy JB is good at diffusing arguments.”

Yugyeom nods, sniffing but thankfully, there are no signs of tears. “You’re right.” He stares at his brother, and nudges him with his elbow. “But don’t be too angry at him when he comes back…or Daddy JB. He didn’t do anything wrong.”

Bam Bam wanted to disagree but there were things Yugyeom shouldn’t know. There were things Bam heard when he snuck out at night. Things he couldn't be told or they would only worry him more. 

“Hey Bam, are you okay?”

Bam looks up from his thoughts and sees his brother staring at him, concerned.

“You didn’t eat anything at lunch...I’m sorry if I worried you.”

He smiles. “I’m fine. Just not hungry.”

 

**Scene 3 - Priorities**

After a night in a cell, Jackson was allowed back out after a request to talk to his accuser. Walking out from the jail cell area, he re-enters the police station and sees Raven standing there.

“You two can talk here.” The officer announces and Jackson is allowed to sit next to her at a table. The officers work around them but no-one pays much attention to either of them.

Raven doesn’t look happy but she isn’t as upset as she was pretending to be the day before. It takes some effort but Jackson watches her without looking away. He doesn’t try to analyse her movements or her emotions, he just looks at her and sees her as just a person.

“Are you OK?” he asks.

She looks up abruptly, her eyebrows furrowed with confusion.

“Are you?” He asks again.

She shakes her head. “What do you mean?”

He nods in the direction of her injuries that are still slightly visible on her neck and arms. Her eyes follow his. “Those must have hurt. I’m asking if you’re okay.”

After looking at her own injuries for a while, she looks back up at him. “They sting a little, but … it’s… it’s fine.”

“Where did you sleep last night?”

The questions are still disorienting her but she starts answering quicker. “At Youngjae’s house.”

“He has a nice house doesn’t he?” Jackson leans back in his chair without breaking eye contact and even tries to smile. “He doesn’t have me over very often but it’s better than where I live.”

She nods, beginning to look around the precinct uncomfortably.

“When did you two start dating?”

“What is this, Wang?” she whispers, without looking at him. “Whatever you’re trying to do, it won’t work.”

He lowers his voice as well. “I’m not trying anything. I just want to know when you two got together.”

“A couple weeks after we broke up, what does it matter?”

Jackson nods, “He clearly loves you a lot.”

She locks eyes with him on the word ‘love’. “What would you know about it?”

“Youngjae hasn’t looked at anyone the way he looks at you, and I’ve seen him look at a lot of women. The way he protects you; you may not be together anymore but he still has feelings for you. He’s loyal. You should appreciate that.”

“I’m not using him.” she whispers again, defensive.

“I know.”

“And if I was, it’s your fault.”

He ignores this. “Do you love him back?”

She doesn’t answer, she just stares at him, her eyes wide with rage at the questioning. “I might have,” she tells him through clenched teeth.

“I really hope you did. Maybe you two could... I don’t know, make something new together.”

She stares at him like he’s crazy but he ignores this and leans forward over the table and holds out his hand. She just stares at his palm, but he wriggles his fingers and she holds her own  hand out so he can take it. He stares at their hands.

“Do you remember when we first met?”

“No.”

He laughs quietly. “How can you not remember? You were yelling at me.”

“That’s not what I’d call yelling.” she murmurs.

He smiles, “See, you do remember. I ripped your handbag and you wanted me to buy you a new one, but I was late for a meeting.”

“JB was going to kill you.”

“That’s right.” He continues to rub his thumb over her hands. “But you dragged me all the way to some store to buy you another one straight away.”

Raven gives him a small smile. “That’s when you gave me your number and said you’d make it up to me.”

They sit quietly for a couple seconds before Jackson pulls away.  

“Did you eat?”

“Jackson…” she sighs, reaching out to capture his hand again, more downcast. 

“Why don’t we leave all this behind and get something to eat, huh?”

“I can’t retract my statement.”

“Yes, you can.”

“I can’t.” She shakes her head without looking at him. “Do you know how that would make me look?”

“Eventually, Youngjae is going to figure you out. You know that right? He may be believing you now, because he cares about you, but, eventually, he’s going to figure you out.”

She sighs and squeezes his hand.

“What is it?” He asks.

“Do you know how much I wanted you to like me?”

“I could never know how much.”

Her eyes look clearer than they’ve been for the last few weeks. “I wanted you to see me so much… Almost as much as you wanted JB to see you….” she attempts to smile. “But I just ended up doing all this. Youngjae…”

“He’s a good friend of mine Raven, and he cares about you. Even if it is my fault, you shouldn’t have gotten him involved like this.”

“I didn’t think it would go this far, Jack. Him and me…”

“You and me, what?”

The two of them look up to see Youngjae standing there, his jacket in his hands looking confused.

  
  


**Scene 4 - Hindsight**

Youngjae stares at them both, real uncertainty in his eyes. Raven stands up in shock.

“You weren’t there when I woke up.” He explains. “I was worried about you and when I called the police station, they said you were here.”

“Youngjae-“

“I was worried…-“

Raven moves quickly and takes hold of his arm, “Youngjae, I can explain.”

Less concerned and more angry, he poses his questions loudly. “What is this?” His eyes are wide as he stares at both of them with growing doubt. “Why are you talking to him?”

“They told me he wanted to see me.”

“Why didn’t you say no? He hurt you. I thought you’d never want to see him again.”

She shakes her head. “He gets into my head Youngjae. He can be-“

He steps back making her lose her balance. “I heard everything you said, Raven.”

"It wasn’t true.”

“Stop it.” Jackson says from his seat. He hasn’t moved. “Stop lying to him, Raven.”

“I’m not lying,” she hisses, her face turning into something predatory before it reforms into the one which Youngjae is familiar; a naïve and pure Raven. “Youngjae, let’s just go.”

“Who do you think Raven is, Youngjae?” Jackson asks from his seat. “She shows everyone different sides of herself now, but she wasn’t like that when I was with her.” Youngjae is hooked on his every word. “She was sweet but easily angry and stubborn.”

“Youngjae…” Raven whispers, her hands shaking.

“But she turned into the best actress I’ve ever seen when we broke up. She was an avenging angel, and a conniving devil at times. It was the scariest transformation I’d ever seen.”

“Shut up, Wang!” She shouts, finally turning to him, her attempts to re-enthrall Youngjae having failed. “This is all your fault!”

Youngjae stares at her, this woman he barely knows and feels his heart lurching. “Did you lie to me?” She doesn’t turn. “Did you use me?”

“No.” she grimaces.

“Did you ever love me?” He grabs her hand and turns her to face him, but she looks indifferent.

“She’s just angry Youngjae,” Jackson continues to explain, “and she doesn’t know what to do with it. I’m sorry you got involved.”

As he looks over the woman he considered losing his career over, he sees a different one. One with a past she twisted to suit her own purposes and he missed all the signs. It hurt him that he was only seeing them now; her abrupt return, her time with Jackson, pretending not to know him...he had wanted to believe her because he was just grateful. Grateful she had come back into his life, grateful that he had been given another chance with her but...

“If I told her I loved her right now, she’d leave you Youngjae. I’m sorry.”

“Jackson-” He tries to speak but Raven interrupts him.

“Do you love me?” She turns back to Jackson but he won’t look at her. 

“I could.”

“What?” There’s so much uncut hope in her voice.

His eyes, lazy, make their way up until they face her. “I gave up on JB years ago, you were just too engrossed in your anger to notice.” Her face lights up in front of Youngjae’s eyes, especially when Jackson says his next seven words. “I think could learn to love you.”

Raven turns and runs past Youngjae to a police desk instantly. “Hello. I want to retract my statement.”

The officer looks up at her, his eyes scream lack of sleep, but he recognises her face and messes with some files on his desk. “Miss Park, why would you want to retract your statement? You said this man attacked you.”

“It was a misunderstanding.”

“We still have to investigate. You were locked in his apartment for five hours with acute injuries.”

“Everything was consensual and I have a key. Here, look.” She reaches in her pocket and pulls out her phone. Attached to the case by a string is the key. The officer reaches for it and compares it to the other one on his desk. 

“This is a key.” The officer looks up and turns to Jackson. “Let’s talk to the defendant for a second.”

Youngjae watches as Raven steps back, her eyes watching Jackson get up with so much adoration, he starts to feel sick. Jackson motions for Youngjae to follow him as he steps up to the desk. 

“What’s going on here?” The officer asks in a low voice, wary of her standing close by. “Are you two settling?”

“She is. I want to sue her for defamation.” 

Both Youngjae and the officer stare at Jackson in shock. 

“What!?” Raven shouts from behind them.

Jackson continues, nonplussed. “She’s not okay; mentally, you can see that, but she almost ruined my life. I want my lawyer to come in and take care of this if she’s dropping her charges against me, which she is.”

The officer looks unsure, but the decision is made for him when Raven makes a move towards Jackson.

“You lied to me!” She shouts. “I knew it!” She starts to hit him with the ball of her fist, and two more officers from other desks are called over to stop her. “I knew you could never let him go! You’re more sick than I am Wang! Why can’t you see that? Why can’t you see that I’m trying to save you!?”

“I would never hurt anyone.” Jackson continues, eyes tired. He looks at Youngjae when he says his next words. “We just have...a complicated history. I want her to get the help she needs but I also need my reputation back...I also want a restraining order.”

 

**Scene 4 - Freedom**

Jackson and Youngjae step out of the police station together, Jackson taking a deep breath of the fresh air outside. He turns to his friend and sees that he’s still dealing with everything that’s happened.

“I was trying to be kind in there, but our ex-girlfriend is a manipulative bitch that you're lucky you didn’t have to deal with.”

Youngjae shakes his head. “She was so kind to me.”

“Manipulation can be kindness. I’m not being self-obsessed but she definitely went after you because of your connection with me. “

“Jackson-”

“You said you dated her for a year? And she always made excuses not to meet your friends at work?”

“...she said she didn’t want to be in the spotlight as my girlfriend.”

Jackson wraps an arm around Youngjae’s shoulders as they walk down the street towards the parking lot. “She came back into my life more times than I can count, but her dating you explains how she still knew so much about me when we weren’t together.” He heads towards Youngjae’s car but Youngjae stops.

“I was really stupid.”

“You were, but you loved her. I can’t blame you for that.”

Youngjae turns to him, “No, Jackson I was really really stupid. I destroyed the company’s image because of her.”

“Well it’s a good thing we’re headed over there now to fix it, isn’t it?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wash my hands of Raven forever, Good-damn-bye.


	18. Episode 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I'm not going to lie, I rushed this but I really wanted to get the chapter out as soon as possible and it's extra long because I have essays and stuff to do. I hope it's not too appallingly written. (I'll check back tomorrow and see that it is lol but here we go)

**Scene 1 - What’s more important?**

Jinyoung arrives at JB’s company and sees lots of News Reporters camped outside on the front steps. After JB, Jackson, and Youngjae didn’t return to the concert, there was an immediate media explosion, which was started by Youngjae attacking Jackson inside the venue. 

Instead of heading in the front and risking being questioned, Jinyoung heads to the side entrance of the building which is blocked by a big wall. Coincidentally he ends up bumping into one of the charged man in question.

“Jackson?”

He runs down the alley and they both end up at the small door. “Jinyoung?”

“Didn’t you get arrested?”

“No, I didn’t...it’s a long story, but I’m glad you’re here. Look, I wanted to tell you, I’m sorry you found out about me and JB-”

“Jackson.” Jinyoung stops him quickly. “I don’t care anymore.”

Jackson’s eyebrows rise in surprise. 

“I shouldn’t have gotten so angry…I was being petty and stupid. I’m sorry.” Jinyoung gives him an apologetic smile but then looks towards the door. “You’re JB’s best friend and I wouldn’t change that for the world; I know how much you rely on each other and I’m glad he can always talk to you, and you with him-”

“Jinyoung-”

“But right now…” His voice changes into something more vulnerable, almost like he’s begging. “All I want to do is see him. I’ve never wanted to see him more in my entire life.”

Jackson stares at him, amazed by everything he’s hearing.

“I know it’s been hard on you all night, with Raven and everything, and I’m sorry I played my part in that but, the way I left him last night wasn’t fair. I know he’s just sitting there stressed out of his mind and I just need to…”

“Jinyoung.” Jackson stops him before he can say anymore. “He’s your husband. I’ve never gotten between you two before, and I don’t plan to now.” He sends him a supportive smile. “You go ahead. I’ll deal with these reporters instead and give you two a minute.”

Jinyoung smiles back, gratefully, “Thank you.”

Jackson claps him on the back and opens the door, allowing Jinyoung to go inside. Then he turns to walk back down the alley. 

Youngjae comes running down and meets him halfway. “Why are you standing here? Aren’t we going in?”

Jackson shakes his head and places a hand on his hip. “Nope.”

“What? Why not?” Youngjae looks between him and the entrance. “There are loads of reporters out here. If we stay here too long they might find us and I really don’t want a bunch of journalists in my face. I hate reporters...” Youngjae drifts off realising Jackson isn’t saying anything. He stares at him for a minute and then turns back to the end of the alley way. He comes to a conclusion all by himself. “We’re going to face those reporters aren’t we?”

“Yup”

Youngjae starts whining immediately. “I know that you might hate me right now, but do we really have to talk to them-”

“No offence Youngjae, but you wanted me charged for rape a couple hours ago. I’m being pretty friendly with you under the circumstances. Maybe I’m just too forgiving...” Jackson claps his hands on Youngjae shoulders, tightly. “...but, JB is in there right now, trying to deal with this crisis all by himself and we are the ones who caused the problem. We have the power to help, just by addressing the press-”

“But I’m shit at addressing the press!”

Jackson moves his hands to a place behind Youngjae’s back and begins pushing him towards the building entrance. “I don’t care. Let’s go.”

“Jackson!” But before Youngjae knows it, they’re on the main street, and end up facing the media straight on.

 

**Scene 2 - Candour**

The company is relatively empty as Jinyoung makes his way inside. JB must have sent all the artists away considering the terrible image associated with their business right now.

Jinyoung walks through the hallways and peers into all the empty practice rooms and studios just in case JB might be in one of them, but in the end, he finds him in his office, the only place he could be with everything that was going on…

Sitting at his desk, Jinyoung's heart is crushed as he witnesses his husband suffer through the stress of work alone; his shoulders look heavy and as he speaks through the phone, his voice sounds like it could give out at any moment. His eyes have dark circles around them and they make it abundantly clear that JB hadn’t slept the night before. He hangs up the phone with a sigh and holds tightly to his desk, his knuckles turning white. All Jinyoung wants to do is hold him; this was his fault.

“JB.” Jinyoung’s voice calls out through the open door. JB looks up as if in a haze...but when he sees Jinyoung's face, so much pressure lifts from his body that a tear rolls down his cheek. 

“Jinyoung.” He stands and Jinyoung rushes over, enveloping him into a hug. JB cries as Jinyoung holds him and both of them whisper “I'm sorry” over and over again until their voices give out.

After a while, Jinyoung holds JB away from him so he can see his face and wipes away some of his tears. “I shouldn't have left,” he tells him.

“It's okay.”

Jinyoung shakes his head and they both start speaking at the same time. “It's not okay. I left you to deal with all of this alone and I made you think I hated you-”

“I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Jackson and me. If I knew it would make you this angry-”

Jinyoung stops him by squeezing his hands. “I…I wasn't angry about that.”

This makes JB pause. “What?”

Jinyoung sighs and looks to the ceiling. “There's so much I have to tell you.”

JB stares at him confused but Jinyoung only shakes his head as he leads them to the couch. As they both sit down, he takes a deep breath. 

“The reason why I was so angry about you and Jackson, is because there are things I’m holding back. I don't… I don’t know why it's been so hard to tell you.”

JB holds tightly to Jinyoung's hand, adapting to this new situation. “You can tell me anything, you know that.”

“I guess I didn't want to burden you or get caught in the middle. I was being selfish…”

The longer Jinyoung takes to explain himself, the more confused JB looks so, in the end, Jinyoung summons up all his courage in order to say his next six words. 

“Mark is in love with me.”

JB's face doesn't show any reaction. 

“I know it seems strange-”

“It’s a little bit more than strange. Mark is my brother, Jinyoung, how could he be in love with you-”

“He kissed me.” Jinyoung didn’t want to just blurt out the evidence, but he knew he had to make JB believe him. “On your birthday...he kissed me that night, that's why he didn't come; that's why we argued.”

JB's eyebrows furrow as he processes this information but, worried about what he might be thinking, Jinyoung can't stop explaining himself. “I knew you would never cheat on me, and Jackson has always been your best friend… I just felt like because he was your brother and because I'm his brother-in-law-”

“He kissed you?” JB whispers, still not understanding.

“Yes.” Jinyoung looks away, unable to face any judgements his husband might have. He continues speaking out of nervousness. “Because we're friends I didn't say anything, hoping he would let it go but it happened so easily...and because you and Jackson are friends, I got scared that something like this had happened between you two as well...but you're the most loyal person I've ever met. I never should have thought like that-” His voice catches in his throat, and it takes so much strength for him to wait and see if his husband has anything to say. It hurts more when he doesn’t.

“JB…” he whispers. “I don’t know what else to tell you.”

 

**Scene 3 - Public Statement** **  
** Youngjae and Jackson make their way to the front door through the assault of reporters shoving microphones in their faces and turn to stand in front of them. They wait until there’s silence to speak; there was no plan, no practised statement...and Youngjae already hated reporters, so this would go well...

“Last night,” Jackson begins, trying not to wring his hands. “There was an incident between Youngjae Choi and myself that caused some confusion and we are here now to address that.” The reporters wait to here more, but Jackson then decides to pass the baton to Youngjae. 

Youngjae tries not to wince as he addresses the crowd. “Last night-”

“You attacked your boss didn’t you Youngjae?” One reporter shouts.

“It was a misunderstanding. If you’d just let me explain-”

“You also left the concert without telling anyone where you were going and ended up being found at the police station-”

“Yes, but-”

“This allegedly has something to do with an ex-girlfriend. Do you deny this?”

Cameras flash and Youngjae finds himself overwhelmed by it all. Jackson turns and whispers in his ear.

“Just tell them the truth.”

“They won’t listen to me.” He whispers back.

“They will. Just...use that stage presence of yours and be firm. They’re here to listen to you, they’re just idiots with cameras who don’t know what they want to hear until you say it.”

Youngjae had to admit that Jackson was really good at whispering and was lucky that none of the journalists heard that. 

I- I-” Youngjae stutters as cameras continue to flash. Jackson nudges him and he knows he’s taking too long, so he takes a deep breath and tries to ground himself. Then he speaks. “Look, I made a mistake last night. I assumed things that I shouldn’t have about someone that I knew really well and it was blown out of proportion.”

“What exactly happened?”

“An ex-girlfriend of ours created a scenario in which we were forced to turn our backs on each other and I fell for it. That’s what you saw last night. I let my emotions get the better of me and it affected the image of this company and I take full responsibility.”

Jackson squeezes his arm, signifying that he’s done a good job, before he retakes control. “At this current time, she is in police custody. We are suing her for defamation, fully acknowledging that all the allegations she made against me are not true. The police will be back with us after they complete their investigation and in turn we will keep you updated on any news. Until then, thank you for your interest in our lives.”

And with that, Jackson turns around and opens the building’s front door and shoves Youngjae through it. Hearing the door shut from behind them, they both sigh in relief.

“Did we fix it?” Youngjae asks.

“No, but we made it better. Can you go and check to see if anyone is hanging around, hiding from the reporters and I’ll go check on JB.”

Youngjae nods and they head off in different directions, but Youngjae turns around and calls out for him.

“Jackson.”

“Yeah?” He replies turning.

“I am really sorry.”

“I know. I’ll get back at you later.”

 

**Scene 5 - We’re different but the same**

Jackson walks through the halls towards the offices, the place he knows JB will be. The closer he gets, the more distinct JB and Jinyoung’s voices, and the clearer their conversation. Jackson’s ears prick up as he nears the door; it’s not completely closed. He turns to go, thinking they need more time, but what stops him in his tracks is what Jinyoung says next.

“Mark is in love with me.”

Alarm bells sound off in Jackson’s head.

“I know it seems strange-”

““It’s a little bit more than strange. Mark is my brother, Jinyoung, how could he be in love with you-”

“He kissed me. On your birthday...he kissed me that night, that's why he didn't come; that's why we argued.”

Jackson grabs the door before he can think about it and it swings wide open. He finds himself facing the two of them on the couch, successfully interrupting their conversation. He stares at them both, trying to think fast on his feet, and in the end, he throws out an apologetic smile.

“I'm sorry. I know you two were having a serious conversation but maybe you should get out of the office for a while.”

Jinyoung stares at Jackson, gaping from the interruption but Jackson only raises his eyebrows, hoping that Jinyoung will take the push to leave. “The reporters...me and Youngjae gave a statement to them, so that should hold them for a while. I thought you guys might want to get out of here before they come back sniffing for more information.”

JB sighs, pulling his hands out of Jinyoung’s and standing. “Jackson, I can’t let you both deal with it by yourselves.”

Jackson smirks, “As if we couldn’t deal with it between the two of us. You’ve been dealing with it on your own and that’s just you. I’m pretty sure with us two, we can have all this sorted out in no time… You should go, be with Jinyoung. Talk things out. I know you need to.”

Jinyoung steps up, recapturing JB’s hand

“He’s right. Let’s get you out of here.”

JB looks at the floor, but caught between the two of them, he can only nod in agreement. “Alright. Let me just get my stuff from the studio.”

He walks past Jackson who gives him a comforting pat on the shoulder. Jinyoung moves to follow but Jackson stops him at the door. 

“I know I shouldn’t have listened, but I heard some of your conversation.”

“Jackson-” Jinyoung sighs but Jackson cuts him off.

“I know I know, but I think I should tell you, you have to be more strict with Mark.” Jinyoung looks up at him, compelled by what he’s saying. “JB never believed me,” Jackson explains, “but Mark has always been like this.”

“What?” 

“Back when...JB and I were together, Mark had been in love with me too.”

 

**Scene 3 - Emotional Procrastination**

JB looks at the menu in front of him but finds he doesn’t have any appetite. A cafe was not a place he wanted to be in.

“Do you see anything you want?” Jinyoung asks from behind him. JB shakes his head.

His voice is quiet when he speaks. “You order whatever you want.”

Jinyoung watches him for a second but when JB says nothing else he steps up to order. “Just two coffees please.”

They sit in the back of the cafe near a window. A waitress brings over their coffees and Jinyoung thanks her but after that there’s pure silence. JB is looking at the table vacantly and Jinyoung doesn’t know what to say.

“JB, I-”

“Don’t.” He sighs, before looking up at Jinyoung. “Don’t say anything else.”

“JB, I just want you to understand-”

“There’s nothing to understand.”

“I feel like there is-”

“Do you know how Yugyeom looked after you left?” JB tells him. “Do you know how much Bam Bam blames me for you walking out?”

JB’s words wash over Jinyoung and make him feel cold; his husband was putting others before himself again. He wasn’t saying what he was feeling, he was either forcing it down or avoiding it and Jinyoung had no way to bring it out of him. 

“How are we going to fix it?” JB asks, touching his coffee but not drinking it.

Jinyoung reaches out a hand to JB. “I’ll fix it. I’ll fix everything with them. You don’t have to worry about it.”

“They blame me.”

“It’s not your fault, JB please. Don’t think about that right now.”

He shakes his head but mumbles, “What should I think about?”

Jinyoung sighs, not knowing what else to say and JB doesn’t help. 

“What are you going to tell them?” He stares at his husband, his eyes full of anticipation. 

“JB-”

“Are you going to tell them you were angry at Jackson for being my ex-boyfriend? You want to change their whole perception of our relationship?”

“No-”

“Are you going to tell them that my best friend nearly got convicted of sexual assault…”

“JB, stop.”

“I didn’t even talk to him. I didn’t even ask if he was okay. I should call him.” He reaches for his phone but Jinyoung halts his hand. 

“I know what your doing.”

“What am I doing?”

“You’re bringing up problems that have nothing to do with what’s going on right now.”

“Jackson just got out of prison and he’s at the company. How is that something that isn’t going on right now-”

“It’s not your job to take on all these problems by yourself. You can’t handle it all on your own-”

“Then who else is going too?” He stands up and Jinyoung looks up at him surprised. “I can’t sit here when there’s so much to do.”

Jinyoung stands up to join him but only to calm him down. “You’re taking on too much, please sit down. Jackson will take care of it.”

“It’s my company too.”

“Let’s deal with one thing at a time. Please. Sit down. Relax.”

It takes a minute but JB finally decides to sit down. He doesn’t say much but he drinks his coffee. All Jinyoung can do is watch him, worried that his husband wasn’t addressing what he really wanted to talk about. He hoped he wouldn’t blow up soon.

 

**Scene 4 - How dare you**

Jackson and Youngjae sat in the office. Dealing with the reporters hadn’t been as easy as they thought. 

They gave a statement explaining the misunderstanding, but since Raven was still being investigated and charged, there was no official statement from the police to back up their story, so the company was still in disrepute as far as everyone was concerned and, as time passed with no news, it only got worse. They’d been on the phone talking to everyone they could, explaining that everything would be righted soon but not many listened….and there was also the reassuring of the artists to be done...but Jackson was distracted.

He didn’t mean to listen in on Jinyoung and JB’s conversation, but he had… and it made him livid, to the point where he couldn’t concentrate. He tried to pace himself through the phone calls, but talking to stubborn reporters only made him angrier and as he hung up on another company, he couldn't help slamming the phone down. 

Youngjae jumps in JB’s seat. “I mean I know journalists are ass holes but that’s not necessary.”

“I can’t believe he’d do that.”

Youngjae looks around the room confused. “...what?”

“It was okay with me because we’d only just started out but...they’re married. It’s his brother.”

Youngjae stands up, even more confused. “Whose married? What’s going on?”

“Is nothing sacred?” Jackson whispers, getting out his own phone and dialling a number he hadn’t called in a long time.

“Jackson? Why are you calling me?”

“I can’t believe you would do this.” He whispers, threatening. “Mark, they’re married.”

Mark sounds completely lost on the other end. “What?”

“Why is it always someone JB loves? Why can’t you find someone else?”

“Jackson, what are you talking about?” 

“You went after Jinyoung!” He shouts through the phone. “Like you had any right to ask for his attention.”

There’s silence from the other end. Jackson could only hope that Mark had now grasped the situation. There’s so much satisfaction in his voice when he says his next words. “Jinyoung told him.”

“He... what?”

“He wouldn’t just keep it a secret, and maybe, this time, JB will actually believe him. He’ll finally know what his brother gets up to behind his back.”

Mark’s voice turns into one full of panic, now that he finally knows what’s going on. “Jackson, I never meant for any of this to happen-”

But Jackson isn’t listening. Instead he hangs up the phone; he now feels much better.

Youngjae is still standing, having watched all this go on. “I feel like there’s something going on that no-one is telling me.” 

Jackson just shakes his head and picks up the phone to resume another annoying business call. 

“It’s better if you stay out of it. You’ve caused enough trouble.”

 

**Scene 5 - Hell hath no fury like a Capricorn**

As soon as he knew Bam Bam and Yugyeom’s school was finished, JB wanted to go home.

Jinyoung knew they still hadn’t dealt with all their problems, but he couldn’t dissuade JB that the kids weren’t a priority; he really did have to make things clear with them. They’re waiting in the kitchen when the boys walk through the door.

Bam Bam becomes angry as soon as he catches sight of them but Yugyeom, upon seeing Jinyoung, runs to him to give him a hug. Jinyoung holds him close and JB, who is stood next to him, strokes his son’s hair. Yugyeom pulls away and it was clear he’s crying but he tries to hide it.

“You’re not fighting anymore are you?” He asks.

JB lets Jinyoung answer. “No.” He shakes his head. “No were not.”

Bam Bam walks further into the room and looks out of the window, pretending not to care for the situation and JB looks towards Jinyoung to see what he’ll do next.

“It was my fault, Bam.” Jinyoung tells him.

“Was it?”

“I never should have left like that and I’m sorry.”

Bam nods, and turns his head to give his dad the courtesy of his attention. “Then why did you?”

“I...I needed to clear my head.” Jinyoung looks at JB for help but only gets a nod to keep going. “I was too angry and I was worried I’d say something I’d regret to JB or...any of you.”

“But that doesn’t excuse you just up and leaving like that. You didn’t even speak to us.” 

Jinyoung nods, squeezing Yugyeom’s arm before stepping over to his eldest. “I know it doesn’t, but if you let me, I’ll try and explain everything-”

Before Bam Bam can make the decision of whether he wants to listen or not, the front door bursts open again and Mark runs through it, red hair flying. He grabs Jinyoung by his collar and pushes him towards the kitchen counter. 

“You told him?!” His eyes are scared and desperate and Jinyoung fights to push him off; this wasn’t good.

“Mark!” JB calls out, “Let go of him.”

“What the hell is going on?” Bam Bam shouts as well, but JB gives him a look that silences him. 

“Mark, outside. You boys, upstairs.”

“But dad-”

“I don’t care!” JB’s voice carries and it was not to be messed with. “I can’t deal with all of this at once.  **Go upstairs, now.** ”

Without the power to reply, Bam Bam and Yugyeom make their way upstairs. JB then looks towards his brother and his husband. 

“Get outside,  **right now.** ”

 

***

 

In the shed stood the three family members; Mark, angry, Jinyoung, shocked and confused, and JB… JB was in this in between place. He watches what unfolds in front of him...until he can take no more.

“I can’t believe you told him.”

“I couldn’t keep it to myself, could I, not when I felt the way I did!”

“And how did you feel? Guilty?”

“I love your brother! I don’t get why you're doing this to him!”

“I’m not doing this to anybody-”

“Stop.” JB’s voice is quiet but they listen to it, well aware of how much more intense it could get in this situation. “I don’t want to hear this.”

“JB.” Mark turns to his brother, looking sincere but JB shuts him down before he can get too far.

“Don’t talk anymore.” He holds his head for a second, before he continues speaking. “I can’t believe you made me feel sorry for you.”

“What?”

“You said you didn’t feel close to me anymore, and I wanted to change that but at least I knew you had Jinyoung. I never questioned your friendship, I even pushed you towards each other when you argued... but then he tells me this-”

“JB, I just wanted-”

“To what!” JB’s anger erupts. “To steal my husband away from me?”

“No!” Mark looks away in frustration. “I just didn’t want to hide my feelings anymore.” 

JB stares at his younger brother for a long time before shaking his head. “You should have just been open about it.”

“I was-”

“With me. You should have told me.”

Mark stares at him, and so does Jinyoung, surprised.

“I wouldn’t have cared. I would have just talked to you about it...I would have tried to understand and I would have forgiven you, but now...now I think we need some space from each other.”

“JB-”

“Stay away from us, for a while...please.”

Mark shakes his head, incredulous. “I can stay away all you like but Jinyoung and I still have to work together-”

“Are you threatening me right now?” JB steps deathly close to his younger brother, his voice low. “In my own house?”

Mark stares at him, without looking away but ultimately shakes his head. “No.”

“Then get out of here.”

 

**Scene 6 - This is my heart**

JB heads back into the house and straight into the bedroom. Jinyoung follows him, and concludes that they won’t be talking to the kids tonight. He watches as JB takes off his shirt and puts on his pajamas, which only consist of striped bottoms.

“JB…” Jinyoung’s voice is quiet, like he’s afraid to wake up the wrath inside of him again, but just saying his name is enough to set him off.  When JB turns around, his eyes bleed vulnerability. 

“Do you know how much I love you?” His voice cracks as he speaks.

“I-”

“I don’t say it enough do I? That’s why you kept asking me.”

Jinyoung shakes his head and reaches for him; he was making this his fault. “No, JB please-” but JB backs away from him, his hands in fists.

“I don’t show it but I couldn’t breathe without you, Jinyoung. You were gone for one night and I felt like my world was ending. I love you so much my heart could burst. I miss you whenever you’re not here.”

They were the words Jinyoung wanted to hear, but not in the situation in which he wanted to hear them.

“I don’t care that you work, or that I work. I know we make time with what we have but I love you so much and I-” he pauses, holding his breath for the longest time, “I could literally scream sometimes, but I don’t, because I know it isn’t all about me.”

“Yes, it is JB. It can be, sometimes.”

“It’s selfish to think that way. We have kids.”

“I know.”

“But I love you. Please know that. I always want you here. I always think about you. I need you.”

Jinyoung steps up to him and finally takes hold of him, placing his hands on his arms, trying to calm him down. “I’m sorry this happened. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you.”

JB shakes his head and his voice is now a defeated whisper. “I don’t care that this happened.”

“What?”

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I don’t want to talk about this ever again.”

Jinyoung is understandably confused when he says this. “How can you say that?”

“It’s just like me and Jackson. Why would I get angry at you for that?”

“No, it’s not the same. You haven’t kissed Jackson…”

JB shakes his head and takes himself out of Jinyoung’s grasp. He shuts his eyes and sighs out his next words. “I just want to go to sleep.”

“But-”

“Please, Jinyoung. Can we please just go to sleep?”

Jinyoung watches JB get into bed but he doesn’t move to do the same himself.

Too many things were bothering him for him to just go to sleep. Not only did Jackson give him something to think about when he said that this had happened before, with Mark being in love with Jackson instead, but there was also the fact that JB didn’t want to talk about this, or to try and fix it. How could he just go to sleep with all of this hanging over their heads. It wasn’t sleep that Jinyoung needed.

Heading back downstairs, he goes to the kitchen. He takes out some soju from the cupboard and grabs a glass and heads to the couch. There were too many things wrong, and he didn’t even think twice about having another alcohol filled night. Before he finally drifted off to sleep however, one thought travelled over him; what if none of this had ever happened.  Not just the events of the last couple weeks but what if Mark had gotten what he wanted. What if JB and Jinyoung had never dated? What if Jackson had never broken up… He looked for any possible chance of escape, and this was the solution he got...

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really gotta start wrapping up soon guys...


	19. Episode 19

**Scene 1 - Reverse**

**_Jinyoung wakes up to Mark’s head on his shoulder. He looks down at his red hair and ruffles it with his free hand. Mark looks up at him with sleepy eyes and pushes his face away, but Jinyoung only laughs._ **

**_“Get out.” he mumbles, but Jinyoung simply turns to hug Mark and they tussle over the bed until they both land on the floor, Mark on top of Jinyoung. He smiles, taking this as a victory and his prize is Jinyoung’s lips. Not caring that either of them are on the carpet, Jinyoung runs his hands through Mark’s hair and rolls to the side so he also gets a turn on top. Their lips cascade over one another as they fight for the upper hand and the sun rises on a new day._ **

**_***_ **

**_Jinyoung draws his shirt over his head and turns to watch Mark doing the same. Mark catches him looking and smiles deviously._ **

**_“You want to go again?” He asks, his voice holding a teasing edge._ **

**_Jinyoung turns back to his own clothes. “No.”_ **

**_“Sure?” He feels Mark’s hands sliding up his arms from behind, stopping to rest over his shoulders; Mark lazily droops himself over his boyfriend’s back._ **

**_“I don’t think you’re up for it.” Jinyoung laughs._ **

**_“I’m tired, okay.” Mark whines. “I was up until three in the morning finishing off the blueprints for your proposal.”_ **

**_Jinyoung turns to him, surprised. “I never asked you to do that.”_ **

**_“You don’t have to ask me to do anything...I just thought I should. We’re in this company together...” Mark’s cheeks redden in a blush and Jinyoung immediately kisses him and then gives him a hug._ **

**_“Thank you.”_ **

**_Mark smiles and hugs him back._ **

 

**Scene 2 - Opposite**

**_JB pulls on Jackson’s arm but Jackson pulls back and the result is that they end up stuck playing tug of war in their front door, neither of them leaving for work._ **

**_“We have to go!” JB shouts._ **

**_“No. I can’t. I’m sick.”_ **

**_He pulls harder on Jackson’s arm. “You’re not sick.”_ **

**_“You’re sick and I have to take care of you.”_ **

**_“Jackson!”_ **

**_Despite trying to be authoritative, the pout Jackson sends his boyfriend through the door is strong enough to break him. It takes serious strength not to let go and let Jackson pull him back through their apartments front door...but responsibility makes him hold fast._ **

**_“JB-”_ **

**_“What do you think will happen if both CEO’s of the company didn’t turn up today?”_ **

**_“They’d get a day off.”_ **

**_JB slams Jackson’s hand out of his grasp and Jackson stumbles forward, an inch further into the doorway._ **

**_“Why are you like this?”_ **

**_Jackson swings his arms as he replies. “Because I love you.”_ **

**_JB rolls his eyes. “You were excited to go in yesterday.”_ **

**_“Well, that was because I wanted to hear the song you wrote for Youngjae, but then I woke up, and we were in bed together…” He steps closer and wraps JB in his arms and snuggles up to him like a cat. “And I didn’t want to leave.”_ **

**_“I see that getting you out of bed was the real victory.” JB mumbles, frozen within Jackson’s arms, secretly loving it. “What can I do then?”_ **

**_“Call in sick.”_ **

_**When they first signed with the company, they had kept their relationship a secret, but little by little people began to find out, mostly because Jackson couldn’t keep his mouth shut; he liked showing off too much, but overall the reaction was good. ‘Jackbum’, as they had been affectionately called, worked well together and the company succeeded as a result but JB, being a true professional, didn’t want their relationship to get in the way of their work. In any other circumstance, he would stay with Jackson; the guy was his heart and soul, but when it came to work, there had to be an equal balance. He couldn't be seen giving in every time Jackson wanted to skip work just to get him into bed; they weren’t in university anymore.** _

**_Nine times out of ten, their morning would start in bed but then Jackson would get restless and want to go outside somewhere. Worst case scenario they’d get caught...the ramifications were just too great._ **

**_“Jackson…” JB peels Jackson’s arms from around him and pulls them apart so he can look directly into his eyes. “You know I love you.” Jackson smiles brightly at the words. “But we can’t stay here all day.”_ **

**_“Why?” Jackson whines._ **

**_“Because there are people relying on us.”_ **

**_Jackson looks down, avoiding JB’s gaze._ **

**_“Are you avoiding something at work? Is something bothering you? You can tell me what it is.”_ **

**_For the first time that morning, Jackson looks sombre, but tries to hide it. “Nothing’s bothering me.”_ **

**_“Come on.” JB steps behind Jackson to whisper in his ear, while subtly closing and locking the door. “You know you can tell me anything.”_ **

**_Jackson bounces his shoulders and then places a hand in his pocket, the first hints of seriousness slipping through. He rubs his neck with the other. Shutting his eyes he lets out a sigh. “It’s...it’s the new group that’s debuting next week.”_ **

**_JB nods; they’d been giving him stress as well._ **

**_“I don’t know if they are doing their best. Sometimes, I can clearly see it and then other times...I’m not too sure… I know what they're capable of, and I don’t want to get angry at them… but I don’t know what to do.”_ **

**_“Why didn’t you tell me before?”_ **

**_Jackson throws his hands up in the air. “With everything you’re dealing with already? This is my half of the job, I shouldn’t have to run to you about every little problem I have. I’m here to support you, and that means doing my half of the work.”_ **

**_JB smiles, heart warmed by the words Jackson is saying. “I’m here for you too.” He places his hands on Jackson’s shoulders and squeezes, pushing them in the direction of the stairs. “Come on. I’ll help you whip those kids into shape. They’re scared of me already.”_ **

**_Jackson scrunches up his face, but walks forward without any resistance and JB is grateful._ **

 

**Scene 3 - Markjin Ltd.**

**_Mark looks through his window and over the rims of his glasses at the board room across the hall. Jinyoung was giving his presentation and Mark couldn’t help smiling as he watched him speak; Jinyoung had been awarded the the rights to redo a historical site in the city and it would be a place honoured and seen by millions everyday. He’d been stressing about it for weeks, but no matter how he felt on the inside, Jinyoung hid his feelings with ease._ **

**_He on the other hand had a simple renovation job. Forcing himself to look down at his own work, he stretches blue prints across his desk. He wouldn’t be changing the world with his designs just yet._ **

**_There’s a knock at his door and he looks up to see one of the interns, knocking on his office door. He gestures for them to come in._ **

**_“Sorry to bother you, but there’s someone at the front desk asking to see you.”_ **

**_“Who is it?”_ **

**_“It’s...well...it’s V.”_ **

**_Mark removes his glasses and before his very eyes, into his office steps his best friend. He smiles brightly._ **

**_“Tae!”_ **

**_“Mark!”_ **

**_Mark steps around his table to give his friend a hug. “What are you doing here?”_ **

**_Taehyung shrugs, “I had some time on my hands and thought I’d come check on you.”_ **

**_“Check on me?” He points at a chair. “I’m sorry, who’s older?”_ **

**_Taehyung laughs as he sits down and Mark joins him.  “I was curious. I wanted to see your company and…”_ **

**_“And…” Mark raises his eyebrow._ **

**_“The new love of your life.”_ **

**_Mark shakes his head and leans back in his chair._ **

**_“Oh come on, where is he?”_ **

**_Mark smirks but nods in the direction of the board room. Tae looks behind him and they both watch as Jinyoung shakes hands with executives, finishing up._ **

**_Tae turns back and smiles brightly. “Imagine...you hated him once.”_ **

**_“Shut up.”_ **

**_“You hated his ideas, and his attitude and his clothes. Every time you talked to me it was about some new way he’d managed to tick you off.”_ **

**_“But now-”_ **

**_Taehyung’s voice is childish when he replies. “But now you can’t take his eyes off of him.”_ **

**_“What do you mean?”_ **

**_“You have the boardroom right across from your window. You designed this place yourself and Jinyoung takes all of the meetings. Are you saying you didn’t do that on purpose.”_ **

**_Mark is shocked into a speechless smile by Tae’s words while Tae just laughs at him. Before he can make any comeback the door opens and Jinyoung himself walks through it. He stops when he sees Taehyung. “Sorry, I didn’t realise you had a visitor.”_ **

**_“No, it’s okay. I want you to meet him.” Mark reaches out a hand towards his friend. “Jinyoung this is Taehyung. We met when I was studying in Italy.”_ **

**_Jinyoung smiles as he steps behind Mark and puts a hand on his chair. “Nice to meet you, Taehyung.”_ **

**_Taehyung smiles at the sight of both of them. His gaze lasts a little too long and Mark widens his eyes to usher him into speaking._ **

**_Tae smiles and balls his hands into fists. “I’m sorry. Hearing about you was one thing, but seeing you… “_ **

**_Mark looks up in time to see Jinyoung blushing. “What did Mark tell you?”_ **

**_“That you made his dreams come true.”_ **

**_“Tae, shut up.”_ **

**_V chuckles instead, “Well, you did. It’s always been Mark’s dream to have his own design company. Then you come along Jinyoung and make all that happen… not to mention the fact that you were able to love him in the first place.”_ **

**_Mark laughs but Jinyoung runs a hand through his hair. “How could I not?”_ **

**_“I’m just so happy for you. He praises you all the time you know.”_ **

**_Now it’s Mark’s turn to blush._ **

**_“Saying what?”_ **

**_“Should I embarrass him?”_ **

**_“NO!” Mark throws a stress ball in V’s direction. “Don’t say anything else.”_ **

**_Both V and Jinyoung laugh. V ends with a smile. “I’m happy it all worked out.”_ **

 

**Scene 4 - Jackbum Industries**

**_JB sits at his desk, typing away when Jackson bounds into the room with a bright smile on his face. JB watches him scurry around, fully content with himself, and can’t help smiling along._ **

**_“I guess the practice stage went well.”_ **

**_“I don’t know what you said to them, but today...today…” Jackson starts to jump around the room. “They were brilliant. Amazing. I never expected for them to pull something like that out, but they did. If they keep up like this, next week...next week will be amazing.”_ **

**_JB smile turns into a toothy grin. “I’m happy for you.”_ **

**_Jinyoung leans over JB’s desk, energy apparently nowhere near extinguished.  “Is Youngjae here yet?”_ **

**_“He’ll be here soon. I’ll call you when he gets here.”_ **

**_“No!” Jackson slams the table. “I want to wait here.”_ **

**_JB’s eyes are wide. “Alright.”_ **

**_“I want to hear the song you wrote.”_ **

**_“I know.”_ **

**_“Sing it to me.”_ **

**_JB shakes his head and starts typing on his computer. “You’ll have to wait.”_ **

**_“Please, come on.”_ **

**_“Just wait for Youngjae.”_ **

**_“Call him. See where he is.”_ **

**_“He’s on his way.”_ **

**_“Calllllll himmmm.” Jackson rounds the desk and squeezes JB’s shoulders._ **

**_JB slams his keyboard. “Can you please let me work?”_ **

**_Jackson kisses him on the cheek. “No.”_ **

**_JB stands as if to throttle him, but Jackson retreats to the couch and laughs before taking out his phone._ **

**_“I’ll call him then.”_ **

**_“Leave him alone-”_ **

**_Before JB can tell him off anymore, the door opens and Youngjae walks through it. “Sorry I’m late.”_ **

**_“See, he’s here.” JB brushes his hair back in annoyance. “Now stop bothering me.”_ **

**_“Where were you?” Jackson asks, sitting up on the couch as Youngjae joins him._ **

**_“I went to see, Aghase. I wanted to see how her training was going.”_ **

**_Jackson rolls his eyes. JB is the one who speaks. “And?”_ **

**_“She’s-”_ **

**_“Great. Amazing. She has her father’s voice and her mother’s dance moves, can we please go to the recording studio!” Jackson is jumping in his seat as he looks between JB and Youngjae._ **

**_Youngjae looks to JB in confusion. “What’s up with him?”_ **

**_JB shakes his head and gets up from his chair, grabbing his stuff. “He’s had a good day.”_ **

**_Jackson, seeing JB getting up, bounds out of his chair as well. “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!”_ **

 

**_***_ **

 

**_Youngjae stands behind the glass in the recording studio, with Jackson and JB sitting opposite him. Jackson is positively giddy with excitement and Youngjae can’t help but laugh at how annoyed JB was becoming._ **

**_“Can you stop poking me and listen to the damn song!” He shouts in the end, without realising it comes through the microphone. Youngjae’s laughter comes through as well and JB turns to shake his head in Youngjae’s direction. “I’m sorry. Let’s just start.”_ **

**_The music comes in through the studio and Youngjae smiles, recalling what this song was about. It was the first song he had helped create and as soon as it started, he was easily reminded of what it was about. Not only was it for his fans, but it was also for his daughter, and that made it all the more special; he was so proud of her._ **

 

_ You are my forever _

_ I’ll be right here _

_ Our hearts are tied together _

_ You’ll never live in fear _

_ And I know, when you walk out _

_ You’ll be standing tall with me _

_ Forever, Forever _

_ You’ll be right next to me _

 

**_The melody JB had written was beautiful and Youngjae had never been happier than when he was singing it._ **

**_When the song was over, Youngjae looked back through the window and saw Jackson leaning on JB’s shoulder. It made him smirk. Maybe Jackson had found some meaning in the song for himself and JB. Even that was beautiful._ **

**_JB hit the microphone to speak, smiling himself. “Well done, Youngjae.”_ **

 

**Scene 5 - Brothers and Lovers**

**_Mark opens the door of the Korean Barbeque restaurant and rushes in with Jinyoung behind him. Inside, JB, Jackson, and  Youngjae sit at a table in the back laughing with each other._ **

**_“Why are you guys so late?” JB asks, standing up to hug his brother._ **

**_“Business.” Jinyoung replies. Youngjae starts to laugh but Jinyoung swats him on the head as they sit down._ **

**_“Well, we both have business,” Jackson proclaims, beginning to fry some meat, “what makes your business more important than our business?”_ **

**_“Well our business-” Mark begins to answer but JB hits him over the head instead._ **

**_“Stop talking about it. You’re here now, let’s eat.”_ **

**_Jackson serves out the meat but makes a special portion for JB, which he holds up to feed him._ **

**_“Open.”_ **

**_JB grimaces. “You’re not feeding me that.”_ **

**_“Fine. Mark.” Jackson turns and Mark already has his mouth open. He smiles as he chews._ **

**_JB looks at his little brother in awe.  “What the hell was that?”_ **

**_“You didn’t want it.”_ **

**_JB raises his eyebrows and grabs a piece of meat himself. “Fine. Jinyoung,” he calls out and Jinyoung opens his  mouth as well, taking the food offered to him._ **

**_“JB!” Jackson shouts, and that only sends Youngjae off into another fit of giggles._ **

**_Jinyoung hits him. “Stop laughing.”_ **

**_“I can’t help it.” Youngjae gasps. “Can you imagine, you and JB together?”_ **

**_Mark starts laughing at the thought. “Jinyoung would destroy my brother.”_ **

**_“And what about you and Jackson?” JB counters. His voice rises, “Do you think you could handle him?”_ **

**_“You can barely handle him, I’m alright thanks.”_ **

**_JB pushes his brother off of his seat, causing more laughter to rise up from their table._ **

**_Jinyoung helps him off the ground. “You’re brother is a saint. Why do you treat him like this?”_ **

**_“Because I’ve had to deal with him my whole life.”_ **

**_“Well-”_ **

**_“Soon you will too,” JB warns, taking a shot of soju. “Don’t you worry.”_ **

**_Jinyoung laughs, “What are you talking about?”_ **

**_“JB!” Mark shouts as he makes it back onto his chair._ **

**_JB smirks, “I’m sorry, did you not tell him yet?”_ **

**_This time Mark openly punches his brother in the arm._ **

**_“What? What didn’t he tell me?” Jinyoung looks between them both and then at Jackson, who shrugs._ **

**_JB shakes his head, reaching for another bite of food. “Ignore me. I shouldn’t have said anything.”_ **

**_The table goes silent, but Jinyoung still looks around for answers. When none present themselves, he turns to Mark again._ **

**_“Mark?”_ **

**_“I…” Mark looks from his brother to his boyfriend._ **

**_“I’m sorry.” JB turns to Jinyoung, trying to fix his mistake. “I went too far… it’s his decision when to tell you, but honestly, it’s a good thing, really.”_ **

**_This just makes Jinyoung more curious. “What is? What are you talking about?”_ **

**_“I swear to God if you say anymore JB, I’ll tell Jackson what you have planned.”_ **

**_Jackson, whose been distracted by cooking, looks up, lost, after hearing his name. “What? What about me?”_ **

**_Youngjae watches all of this going on from the sidelines, hugging his drink to his lips._ **

**_JB pats Jackson’s shoulder. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”_ **

**_“Nu-uh!” Jackson turns to JB,  “You have to tell me now.”_ **

**_“Jackson-”_ **

**_“No, tell me.”_ **

**_“Stop it.”_ **

**_“Now, now, now.”_ **

**_Mark raises an eyebrow, and smirks, reaching for some salad, but his brother cuts him off._ **

**_“This is your fault. He’ll never leave me alone now.”_ **

**_“You started it.” Mark counters._ **

**_“Just tell him.”_ **

**_“Tell me what?” Jinyoung asks again, starting to pout._ **

**_“JB…” Jackson looks him up and down. “Are you pregnant?”_ **

**_JB slams his drink down and pinches his boyfriend’s mouth shut. “Not me…” he mumbles._ **

**_Jinyoung turns to Mark, shock written all over his face. Youngjae’s face is an exact mirror. No-one hears Jackson’s muffled praise of ‘Oh, thank god.’_ **

**_“You’re pregnant?” Jinyoung asks._ **

**_Mark’s cheeks go as red as his hair, but he nods._ **

**_“Oh my god!” Jinyoung’s smile is enormous._ **

**_Youngjae starts clapping, “Congratulations!”_ **

**_Mark rolls his eyes but Jinyoung takes his hand. “You should have told me.”_ **

**_“I was trying to find the right time.”_ **

**_“Thank god it’s you two though and not us.” Jackson exclaims, serving out more meat._ **

**_It was Youngjae’s turn to get offended. “You say you hate kids, but you and Aghase are always whispering with each other and disappearing. It’s like you're her second dad or something, so stop pretending.”_ **

**_Mark looks solely at his brother, ignoring the others, ready for revenge. “Since you spilled my secret, maybe I should spill yours.”_ **

**_“Mark-” JB calls out in warning, but Jackson cuts him off._ **

**_“What is it, Mark? Tell me.”_ **

**_Mark leans back and Jinyoung places an arm around his shoulders. He had never looked so cocky._ **

**_“Ask my brother what he has in his pocket.”_ **

**_“Mark, I can’t believe you!” But JB has no time to yell as Jackson immediately tries to get into his boyfriend’s pocket. After a few minutes Jackson retreats with something in his hand. Opening his palm, the table finds that what Jb had in his pocket was a wedding ring._ **

 

Jinyoung rose up on the couch so fast he nearly fell off of it. 

  
  



	20. Episode 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late. I felt like we needed a good turn of events. Might update soon for the next one as well cause I actually cut this one in half just to keep the mood up .

**JB’s head space**

It was hard to sleep. After pretending that was all he wanted, JB lay awake for hours. Intrusive and negative thoughts ran through his head; new ones and old ones he'd thought he'd forgotten. It wasn't fair.

He knew Jinyoung would be downstairs doing the same. They just couldn't do it together. Bad thoughts made more and JB...he was already in a deep dark hole where all of this was concerned. 

Why hadn't he told Jinyoung about him and Jackson? Surely it wasn't because he knew Jinyoung would react this way? Jackson and JB were friends for life and Jinyoung knew that, he even understood that and had gotten over it quick enough, he just didn’t know why it had taken so long for him to know. Then there was the whole Mark situation. When his brain got to his little brother, that's when he sat up in bed. 

This was such a mess and he kept thinking it was all his fault. He hadn't even explained it to the kids yet...and that made him feel even worse. Bam Bam straight up hated him. Yugyeom was so upset...yet he had no idea how to make it right. 

His family prided him on always having the answers but this time he didn't have any. He didn't know what to do, what to say...and there was only one other time when he had felt that way...but right now he refused to think about that. He couldn't take this any longer. He had to do what he always did. He had to try and fix things….or at least shove a band-aid on them.

 

**Scene 1 - Let’s Talk**

 

Jinyoung runs up the stairs so fast he nearly trips. He doesn't want to wake anyone up but panic set in after his dream.  When he reaches his and JB's bedroom door, he swings it open so quickly, it bangs in the back wall. 

He expects to find his husband fast asleep but, instead, sees him sitting upright in bed, shrugging a shirt over his shoulders. He merely turns his head when Jinyoung opens the door. 

“JB…” 

JB nods and stands up slowly. “We need to talk don't we?”

Jinyoung is silent as JB walks through the door and takes his hand. “Let's go,” he whispers. 

 

***

 

They end up in an early morning cafe down the road from their house. JB orders chamomile tea for both of them and they sit next to a window. 

JB looks up at the dark sky for a while before he speaks. “Jinyoung?”

“Yes.”

“I'm sorry.”

Jinyoung's eyebrows knit together. “For what?”

“For what I'm about to say.”

Jinyoung stares at him for a while, but then shakes his head, instead deciding to drink his tea with no comment. JB takes a big breath.

“You have to keep working with him.”

“What?”

“You didn't ask me to stay away from Jackson, so I can't possibly ask that of you and Mark. Losing a friend means losing a business partner, for both of us, and I know how much winning this competition means to you. I'm not going to ask you to give it up.”

Jinyoung stares at his husband as if he doesn't know who he is. “You want me to keep working with him?”

“Yes.”

“With Mark? The person who’s in love with me?”

“Yes.”

“But doesn't it bother you?” Jinyoung's voice rises a fraction but JB stares at his tea in warning and Jinyoung tones it down. “You're brother...this isn't the first time he's done this.”

JB stares at the table.

“Is this why you and Jackson broke up before? Because of Mark?”

“That doesn't matter.”

“Yes it does.” Jinyoung leans forward in his seat. “JB, there's obviously something you and your brother need to work out.”

JB shakes his head and resumes drinking his tea. 

“I hate this about you.” 

“What?” JB is surprised by Jinyoung’s change of voice. They seemed to be getting somewhere before, but now he sounded accusatory again.

“Growing up doesn't equal giving up you know.”

“J -”

“I didn't marry you so you could give up just because it's easy.”

JB slams down his cup too hard. His patience gone. “Why did you marry me then, Jinyoung?”

“Because you're far too selfless for your own good and someone had to take care of you.”

“Jinyoung-”

“You're always doing this. Putting everyone before yourself. Stop it. If it bothers you, just tell me.”

JB sighs and rolls his head towards the ceiling. “Fine, it bothers me. What now?” 

“I won't work with him anymore.” Jinyoung shrugs. “I make enough money working freelance anyway.”

“No, you can’t.”

“Why?”

JB leans forward earnestly. “Because you’ve worked so hard. If you end you’re partnership now, you might be fine but Mark won’t be. You have more connections than he does and he won’t have as many opportunities-”

“Are you worrying about him right now?” Jinyoung’s voice rises once again. “After everything he’s done to you?”

“That’s who I am.” JB’s voice levels to being on the defensive. “That’s how I’m built. Didn’t you just say so yourself?”

“Jaebum-”

“I’ll talk to my brother...at some point, but you can’t stop working with him.”

It was Jinyoung’s turn to sigh this time.

“Are you swayed by him?”

“What?”

“Are you swayed by anything he says? Anything he does?”

Jinyoung’s mind flashes back to kiss after kiss after kiss. Mark at New Years Eve, Mark pushing him against the wall…

“Were you?”

“No. No, I love you.”

JB smiles, “Then I trust you. I have never not trusted you. You managed to tell me and I’m grateful, so please. Promise you’ll do this. I believe we can all work this out.”

“How?”

Jinyoung stares at his husband, but JB stalls on his next words...in truth he doesn’t have anything ready to say. 

“See. JB-”

“Go on a date with me.” He blurts aloud.

Jinyoung laughs, caught off guard. “What?”

“Go on a date with me tomorrow, and the next day, and the next”

Jinyoung laughs some more and that encourages JB to smile. After the day they’d had, he needed a smile. “I don’t want either of us to be insecure anymore.”

“Me not being insecure involves us talking about our problems, rather than shoving them away.”

“I…” JB looks away from Jinyoung and at his cup. 

“Why do you do that?” He tries to coax the answer out of him with a light voice. “Why can you never tell me the truth?”

“I try.”

“Do you?”

JB taps the table with his finger, intently staring at it. “Jinyoung, do you remember how much we used to argue?”

“Yeah. But that's in the past. We're good now.”

“But look how angry you got yesterday. About me and Jackson.”

JB watches Jinyoung rub his neck, feeling guilty. “That was my fault. I was dealing with things-”

“But it...terrifies me.”

Jinyoung’s eyes fasten on him when he says this. “What does?”

“Arguing with you.”

“...Why?”

“Jinyoung...you almost didn't marry me.”

He attempts to smile. “But we did get married.”

“But what happened...I still remember it, and it still bothers me. We argued the other night and you walked out. I went out of my mind. Where did you go?”

Jinyoung looks to the window and grips his cup. “I...I just...drove around.” JB won’t take his eyes off of him now.

“I told you how scared I was. If you want me to stop being insecure, than you can't keep walking out like that as soon as we have a problem.”

Jinyoung nods slowly, and they share silence for a little. 

“So...the date.”

Jinyoung chuckles. “I will never say no to a date with you. I love you.”

“Good. Where shall we go?”

 

**Scene 2 - Engagement**

 

**_JB had had his hand in his pocket for a long time. He’d been nervous through the entire date and wanted to get it over with, but the right time still hadn’t presented itself._ **

**_They’d been out to eat, they’d gone for coffee, and now they were taking a walk near a local lake. Everything had been set up to pop the big question, but JB felt like the right time had never arrived. It weighed on him. He’d have to find another day._ **

**_Jinyoung was staring into the lake from lower on the bank and JB watched him silently. He looked at his shoulders underneath his white top and wanted to squeeze them. Maybe he could whisper it in his ear...._ ** _ Marry me... _ **_He stepped up behind Jinyoung as if to do so, but Jinyoung turned around really fast and JB had to catch himself before falling._ **

**_“Sorry.” Jinyoung reaches out to steady him. “Are you ok?”_ **

**_JB nods, smiling with reassurance. Jinyoung takes his hand. “Why don’t we take a walk?”_ **

**_JB nods again and lets Jinyoung lead him around the path that encompasses the whole lake. The ring box he had in his pocket felt heavier and heavier as they made their way around but he couldn't bring himself to say anything. It was like he was nervous and scared, but excited, all at the same time._ **

**_He loved Jinyoung. It was hard to express and hard to explain to anyone who asked him why, but he never wanted to be away from him for one second...not that he would ever tell Jinyoung that, but..he was scared. What if Jinyoung thought it was too soon? He liked to have his own way of doing things. He always made plans and JB always felt bad for just going along with them… Now this was his big chance. Jinyoung hated all the romantic stuff, but this would be the start of something amazing. Jinyoung would know that JB loved him forever and always...but he couldn’t fucking get the words out._ **

**_“Are you okay?” He heard in the back of his mind, and he realised he had completely tuned out form his surroundings to think to himself._ **

**_“Yeah. I’m sorry.”_ **

**_Jinyoung didn’t believe him though and turns, concerned. “Are you sure? You’ve seemed out of it all day…” He touches JB’s forehead. “Are you sick?”_ **

**_“No.” He takes Jinyoung's hand away from his face. “No I’m fine, I promise.”_ **

**_Jinyoung smiles. “Is it a song again? Do we need to go?”_ **

**_“No. No, no.” JB tries to shrug it off, but he only gets more frustrated and now it was too hard to hide. He let go of Jinyoung’s hand and stepped away._ **

**_“What’s wrong? You’re scaring me.”_ **

**_“There’s something I want to ask you.”_ **

**_“Then ask.”_ **

**_JB turns back to him and shakes his head. “It’s not that simple.”_ **

**_Jinyoung takes a step closer to him. “Why not?” He makes a playful face. “Do I intimidate you?”_ **

**_“Yes.”_ **

**_Jinyoung’s eyes widen in surprise at his serious reply. “Oh.”_ **

**_“If you don’t give me the answer I want, I don’t know what I’ll do.”_ **

**_Jinyoung looks at the grass beneath them and shrugs. “Then ask me anyway.”_ **

**_JB breathes deeply and stares at Jinyoung, but Jinyoung won’t look at him now and that sets him off. “I can’t. I can’t.”_ **

**_“If it helps…” He hears him say. “I’ve been wanting to ask you something all day too.” He looks up as soon a sharp wind hits and his hair flies into his eyes. Jinyoung’s eyes are strong in the sunlight._ **

**_“What?”_ **

**_“I wanted to ask you to marry me.”_ **

**_JB is so shocked, his mouth opens in a small ‘O’, making Jinyoung smile._ **

**_“I know.” He laughs. “How could I just say it like that, but I’ve been thinking about it this whole time, only...you had this whole date planned and I didn’t want to take it away from you by asking that; you rarely ask me out, I didn’t want to scare you if it was too soon, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it all day. How do I ask him? What do if he says no, or not yet, or yes even…” He drifts off and smiles, looking across the lake. “I was too stressed to come up with a solution and now I’ve just blurted it out. I have a ring and everything in my pocket, look.” He takes a box out of his pocket and shows it to JB without turning to him. His cheeks a resemble a light pink._ **

**_JB stares at him for a while before exhaling and shaking his head. Jinyoung finally turns to look at him. “What?”_ **

**_“I hate you.”_ **

**_“What?” His voice is taken aback._ **

**_Then JB starts smiling and looking around as well. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a box, almost identical to the one Jinyoung has in his hand. Jinyoung stares at it with wide eyes until his shoulders start shaking as he tries to hold back laughter._ **

**_“I wanted to marry you first.” He says after he catches his breath._ **

**_“Liar.” JB argues._ **

**_“Do you know how embarrassing it was to think of all the romantic things I’d have to say to even think about pulling this ring out of my pocket?”_ **

**_JB smiles, “And you didn’t say any of them. You’re good at seducing me but not romancing me. I don't know if I want to marry you now.”_ **

**_“Marry me.” Jinyoung steps over and covers JB in his arms, the box hanging loose in his hand.  “I don’t care about anything else. Just marry me.”_ **

**_“Okay.” JB hugs Jinyoung back and the sun begins to set, taking a big dive into the lake._ **

  
  
  
  



	21. Episode 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess this is part 2 but I'm not going to put that as the title.

**Scene 3 - Does he know too much?**

Kes walked up to Bam Bam and Yugyeom who were leaning on the wall, her face concerned.  
"Is it true?" She asks.  
"Is what true?" Yugyeom replies. As she makes her way over to them, he notices other people staring at them in the hallway.  
"What they're saying about your dad's business partner?"  
Kes takes out her phone to show a news article and Yugyeom hovers over her.   
"...LW industries in dispute,” he reads, “over alleged sexual assaults case? What?" Yugyeom turns to his brother but Bam Bam isn't even paying attention. "Did you know?"  
"There's a lot I know." 

“But did you know about this?” Yugyeom takes Kes’ phone and holds it up to his brother. There’s a picture of Jackson and their godfather walking out of his apartment towards a police car. 

Bam looks at Kes’ phone and then up again, rubbing his nose.

“Yep.”

“Then why didn't you say anything!?” Yugyeom shouts, shoving him. “Dad JB must be dealing with so much.”

_ He is _ , Bam Bam thought to himself. There was so much Yugyeom didn't know.

Bam Bam had woken up early that morning, unable to fall back asleep. His head was pounding and instead of staying in his room, he snuck out and ended up in a cafe down the road. How would he know that his own parents would walk in an hour later… He nearly dropped his phone into his lemonade when he saw them. That’s when he’d been reading the article about Jackson. Finally, the night of the concert had been explained, but with the arrival of his parents, things were about to get more complicated; hiding in the back, he managed to evade being seen, but he also heard a lot of information he didn’t expect to hear.

His parents stared at their tea for a while, and he wondered if they were going to speak at all, but then Dad JB started talking. His voice was quiet at first, but Dad Jinyoung’s voice rose and carried across to Bam Bam’s table. 

_ “You want me to keep working with him?”  _ Dad Jinyoung asked.

_ “Yes.”  _

_ “With Mark? The person who’s in love with me?” _

_ “Yes.” _

Bam Bam nearly spilled the Sprite he’d ordered all over his jeans. Did he hear them right? Uncle Mark? In love with Dad Jinyoung? Since when? How? Why? And in what world would Dad JB still want them to work with each other?

He peers behind a menu as Dad Jinyoung keeps talking. _ “Is this why you and Jackson broke up before? Because of Mark?” _

Bam Bam did knock over his sprite then but it gave him a good reason to hide under the table with napkins. After that, he was too busy talking to a waitress, and trying to leave without being seen, to hear what else they talked about...there was one thing he knew for sure though, as he stood behind Yugyeom and Kes, Jackson’s problems with his ex didn’t stop with a crazy woman.

“You guys might want to lie low for a bit.” Kes continues in warning. “The whole school is kind of buzzing about this.”

“Why should we have to hide?” Bam pipes up, staring those who glance at them in the eye. “We didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Bam, don’t.” Yugyeom grabs his brother by the arm to shake him out of his mood. “Anything we do or say could be traced back to Dad.”

“It isn’t true.” He counters again, shaking out of his sibling’s grasp. “If they ask me, I’ll just tell them that.”

“Bam Bam-”

“I’m going. You two have fun.”

Yugyeom calls for him after he leaves but Bam Bam doesn’t turn back. He walks all the way around the corner, until he’s out of sight... and then he runs to the bathroom -  within which he promptly throws up. 

“This fucking headache.” He whispers, taking pain killers out his pocket.

He leaves the cubicle and washes his face before looking in the mirror. He takes the pills and puts a handful of water in mouth. 

Staring at his face, he feels something unfamiliar in the pit of his stomach. Maybe it was the feeling of responsibility. He hadn’t even had a chance to think of everything he heard that morning. He’d had to rush home and make sure he was there before his parents got back...and then Yugyeom had woken up and he had to pretend like nothing had happened.

He couldn’t tell his little brother what he’d found out. Not only would it stress him out but he wouldn’t be able to cope. Rather than worry him, he’d fix the problem before it blew up. His parents didn’t seem to have it figured out, so maybe him and his sixteen year old brain could do what they couldn’t.

 

**Scene 4 - Two weeks later**

 

Jackson sat in a restaurant waiting for Jinyoung to join him. He waves away a waitress who keeps coming over for the millionth time and stares out the window. He’s grateful when he can finally see Jinyoung’s face and waves brightly when he walks through the door. 

“Hey.”

Jinyoung looks at their surroundings as he sits down. “Why did you bring me here? Why couldn’t we go to a cafe?”

Jackson looks around. “What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s a bit fancy…”

He looks around again and nods. “I guess so, but it was the closest place and I hate coffee shops. Caffeine makes me feel sick.”

Jinyoung chuckles as he shrugs off his jacket. “Fine. What did you want to talk about?”

Jackson watches as Jinyoung messes with the menu. “JB.”

“What about him?”

“Is he okay?”

Jinyoung looks up, his eyes blinking fast. “Why are you asking that?”

Jackson shakes his head. “With the Mark situation. You and him are still working together aren’t you?”

“You’re walking on shaky ground asking me here to talk about my husband.”

“I’m just wondering about him as a friend. Jinyoung, you don’t understand…”

“I understand him better than you do, and if that’s all you wanted to talk about-” Jinyoung stands up to go but Jackson reaches for him. 

“Look, I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t do this, but he’s my best friend and I can’t ignore him when he’s not okay. With everything that happened in the office the other day-”

“Wait? What?” Jinyoung turns back to him, concerned. “What happened in the office?”

Jackson sighs. Jinyoung sits back down, waiting to hear Jackson’s answer but they’re interrupted by the same waitress who was bothering Jackson before. 

“Are you guys ready to order?”

Jackson, despite finding her annoying, smiles and looks up from under the hat he’s wearing. “I’ll just have the salmon, thank you.”

She nods, but as she looks closer her eyes widen. “I’m sorry, but are you...are you Jackson Wang?”

Jackson looks at Jinyoung but he only shrugs, so he has to nod. 

“Oh wow!” She squeals, in a hushed sort of way. “I thought you looked familiar but I wasn’t sure. You’ve been in the news so much-”

“I’m really sorry,” Jinyoung interjects, “but we just want to have a quiet lunch if that’s alright.”

“No, no, that’s okay. I’m not going to call any reporters or anything, I just wanted to say…” She turns to Jackson and gives him a big smile. “There are loads of people who still support you and know that this is a difficult time for you, but it’ll get better.” She takes his menu and pats his shoulder. “I promise.”

Jackson isn’t taken aback for a minute and doesn’t know what to say.

“Do you both want the salmon?” she asks.

Jinyoung nods, amused. “Yes. Please.”

She nods and takes his menu as well and with a final smile, she skips away.

Jinyoung turns to Jackson and sees that he’s looking at the table. His hands are holding his hat but he can tell he’s smiling. 

“You okay?”

He sniffs and looks up, eyes slightly red. “Yep.”

“That was nice of her.”

“It was.” He nods. “I needed that.”

“You were telling me about JB though…”

“Oh right.” He sniffs again before putting his elbows on the table. “Something happened at work the other day.”

 

**Scene 5 - JB’s headspace (pt 2)**

 

**_With the fallout still affecting the company, JB and Jackson’s jobs had consisted of mitigation more than producing music. Youngjae had been in charge of keeping the artists positive; he had basically become Jackson’s second hand, trying to make up for everything he'd done and because he was directly involved, he was also the perfect candidate to convince their artists that all of this would blow over soon._ **

**_The three of them were sitting in the office now, food on their desks left from lunch, as they typed emails and talked on phones. Jackson had just hung up on another reporter when he heard JB’s phone ringing. This was only strange because it was his cellphone and he wasn’t answering it._ **

**_“Are you going to pick that up?” Jackson asked from across the room._ **

**_JB shook his head and continued typing away. “No. I’m busy.”_ **

**_“You don’t even know who it is.”_ **

**_“I know who it is.”_ **

**_Youngjae took the opportunity to peer up from his new place in their office. “Who?”_ **

**_“It’s just my brother. I’ll call him back later.”_ **

**_Just that admission, changed Jackson’s entire mood. He stared at JB as he continued working, picking up phone calls on the office line and typing. He tried to do the same, but he was too distracted; he saw something in JB he recognised. Displacement. He was too focused on his work for someone who loved his brother. He’d never missed a call from him._ **

**_It took a couple more minutes, but Jackson stood up from his desk. Youngjae looked up surprised. “Where are you going?”_ **

**_“Break.”_ **

**_“I can get you a coffee if you like-”_ **

**_“No. Me and JB are going on break.” He walked over to JB’s desk and grabbed his arm._ **

**_“You go-” JB tried to get out of it, but Jackson wasn’t having it._ **

**_“No. We’re going. Get up. Now.” JB struggled a little bit but Jackson eventually got him out of his chair._ **

**_They end up in the bathroom, again, and Jackson slams JB against the wall. “What’s going on?” He asked._ **

**_JB turned away from him but they’re proximity was too close to avoid his gaze. “What are you doing?”_ **

**_“Seeing what your deal is. Why did you ignore Mark’s phone call?”_ **

**_“I didn’t. We’re busy.”_ **

**_“Not too busy for you to ignore a call from your brother, so what’s going on?”_ **

**_“Nothing’s going on!” JB shouted, pushing Jackson away and fixing his shirt. “Stop being emotional and taking things from one to fifty all the time. We have work to do.”_ **

**_“The only reason I do that is because you don’t seem to be feeling anything. Mark is still working with your husband. He has no intention of backing down in the whole ‘he loves him’ department.”_ **

**_“Jackson-”_ **

**_“And as much as he may want you to believe that he’s all kind and caring, he’s not. He is all for taking advantage of you-”_ **

**_“I don’t want to talk about this right now._ ** **_We have work to do_ ** **_-”_ **

**_Jackson got into JB’s face. “How do you not care when this has happened before?!”_ **

**_“It hasn’t happened before.”_ **

**_“Are you blind! Why am I the only one getting angry that_ ** **_your_ ** **_husband is spending quality time with_ ** **_your_ ** **_brother who can’t be trusted? Why am I the only one thinking of this as a betrayal? If I were you, I would have called him up and cursed him out. In fact I already have!”_ **

**_“Jackson!”_ **

**_“Why do you refuse to deal with this? Are you willing to share Jinyoung with him? Is that what you’re doing now?”_ **

**_“Stop.”_ **

**_He slammed the wall next to where JB was standing. “If you’re going to give up Jinyoung so easily, do I get a chance as well!?”_ **

**_JB grabbed Jackson by the collar of his shirt and backed him up against the wall. His other hand flew up in a fist and punched the space next to Jackson’s head._ **

**_“Don’t you dare.” He whispered._ **

**_“Why not? You don’t seem to care.”_ **

**_“You think this whole Mark situation isn’t bothering me?! You think I’m just sitting at work, twiddling my thumbs, because I don’t care?!”_ **

**_“Then why won’t you call him?”_ **

**_“I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY!” He pushed Jackson away and hit the wall once more. His hand came away bloody. Jackson grabbed it, scared he might do it again and they stand in silence._ **

**_When JB spoke again, his voice was softer. “What exactly do I say to him Jackson?”_ **

**_Yell at him. Tell him he’s out of line.”_ **

**_“ I’m the only family he’s got.”_ **

**_“So?”_ **

**_“I don’t want him to leave me again!”_ **

 

**Scene 6 - Italy**

 

“Leave him?” Jinyoung asks, on the edge of his seat as Jackson continues his story. “Why would he leave him?” 

Jackson sits back and glances at the window and sighs. “Mark...Mark didn’t just go to Italy to study abroad.”

“What? He didn’t?”

“He left as a punishment.”

Jinyoung’s eyebrows knit together. “A punishment for who? For JB?”

Jackson nods. “You know that Mark and JB’s parents passed away right?”

“Yeah….”

“So JB practically raised his brother. He cares as much about him as he does for Yugyeom and Bam Bam...and Mark knows that… When he left for Italy, JB was crushed. He didn’t even stay in contact; he completely iced him out-”

“Wait, wait, go back.” Jinyoung closes his eyes for a minute. “So what forced him to do that and go to Italy?”

“Us.”

“Us, who?”

“Me and JB.” With guilty eyes, Jackson tries to explain. “JB made me promise not to tell Mark we were dating but...I broke my promise.”

“That’s all that happened?” Jinyoung picks up his drink. “I thought it would be worse.”

“That’s not the main reason we broke up. I spill secrets all the time; JB would be angry at me but I’d make up for it in...other ways.”

Jinyoung looks up from his drink. “Watch it, Wang.”

Jackson shakes his head. “But we broke up because of what Mark did….what I made him do. That was his plan all along.” He grips the tablecloth. “JB loves his brother. We could never know how much; that’s why I’m so worried about him. He punched a wall Jinyoung, he’s obviously not doing as well as you think he is.”

Jinyoung stares at Jackson and feels, for the first time, inadequate. He wasn't thinking. Neither him or JB were thinking; they just wanted everyone to be okay all the time. Jackson could always see the bigger picture and he hated that. When he’d seen the cuts on JB’s hand, his husband had said it was an accident while he was cooking...and he’d just believed him. How stupid was that?

“Jinyoung?” Jackson’s voice shakes him out of his thoughts.

He looks at Jackson and sees a concerned friend more than anything else. If it wasn’t for him, Jinyoung wouldn’t know what his husband was really feeling. He shouldn’t feel jealous but he did...only this time he’d do better at keeping it to himself. In the moment, he made himself smile.

Jackson was understandably confused. “Why are you smiling?”

“Because if you had just let Mark be in love with you, we wouldn’t be here.”

“Don’t start talking about what-ifs, because I can always go much further. Maybe JB and I didn’t even have to break up at all...”

Jackson stares at Jinyoung with provocative eyes and he was reminded of a dream he’d had.

“Why are you staring at me?” Jackson asks when Jinyoung doesn’t reply.

“I should go.” He says instead, abruptly grabbing his jacket off of his chair and standing up to leave. 

Jackson gets up too. “What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to talk to my husband.”

He walks around the table but Jackson follows him. “Wait-”

“Jackson.” Jinyoung turns one final time and looks at his husband’s best friend. 

Jackson had stopped in his tracks. “Yeah?”

“Maybe don’t curse out my brother in law again?”

Jackson makes a judgemental face but Jinyoung only shrugs and walks out the door. He had the full picture now, he just had to draw a different scene.

  
  
  
  



	22. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have re written all of this so many times, I apologise. There have been so many changes and rewrites and I actually got really frustrated but I think I'm on the right path now so I hope this isn't confusing in any way.

**Scene 1 - A Week Previous**

 

**_Yugyeom watches his supposed older brother through the window as he jumps over the school wall. Running across the field, his blonde hair is bright in the sun, and Yugyeom is surprised no-one sees him as he makes his way in._ **

**_Switching his view to the classroom door, he waits until he walks in trying to hide the fact that he’s panting. He catches his younger brother’s gaze and smiles but Yugyeom doesn’t smile back, he simply turns away and waits for his brother to sit next to him; they have five minutes before lunch is over._ **

**_“Hey?” Bam Bam pokes Yugyeom’s shoulder as he pulls up a chair beside him. “What’s up with you?”_ **

**_Yugyeom turns to him, “Where did you go?”_ **

**_Bam Bam shrugs. “Just...out. Did the teacher notice?”_ **

**_Yugyeom slams a book against his older brother’s arm, catching him by surprise. “No, he didn’t notice but you shouldn’t be skipping school like this! I won’t keep covering for you.”_ **

**_“Yugyeom-”_ **

**_“Not unless you tell me where you’re going.”_ **

**_Bam Bam shakes his head as the bell rings and moves his seat back to his desk on the other side of the room. Yugyeom stares at him, offended that Bam Bam won’t give him a truthful answer._ **

**_When class ends, Bam Bam streams out without him, and Yugyeom has to race to catch him up. He grabs his arm and spins him around. “Where are you going? Are you not changing for P.E?”_ **

**_Bam Bam shakes his head. “I have stuff to do okay. Just cover for me.”_ **

**_“Bam, I told you I can’t keep covering for you!”_ **

**_“Then don’t!” Bam Bam shouts, shaking off his hold and walking away. “I’ll figure it out myself.”_ **

**_Yugyeom sighs and watches him go, wondering what’s gotten into his brother. Not only was he skipping school, but he’d been sneaking out a lot lately as well and when he came back he always seemed cranky or annoyed by something. As Yugyeom went to change for Gym, he thought of their most recent conversation._ **

**_They’d been getting ready for school when Bam Bam had turned to him, out of the blue and had asked, “What if they break up?”_ **

**_“Who?” Yugyeom hadn’t been paying much attention before then, so he had no idea what his older brother had been talking about, that’s why Bam Bam’s next words took him by surprise._ **

**_“Dad JB and Jinyoung.”_ **

**_Yugyeom turned around from his dresser and stared at his brother. “What?”_ **

**_“What if they can’t fix what’s going on with them?”_ **

**_“They will. You’re the one who told me they will.”_ **

**_Bam Bam sighed and looked to the floor, holding the back of his head. “Yeah, but if they don’t...do you think you’ll be okay?”_ **

**_Yugyeom stared at him for a long time, and the thoughts of a future without his parents together made his eyes well up. “No. No, I wouldn’t. Would you?”_ **

**_Bam looked up at that precise moment and sighed, shaking his head. “No. I wouldn’t.”_ **

**_After that, he’d been distant and angry. They’d been eating breakfast that morning and Bam had shouted at his brother just for forgetting to bring him a spoon so he could eat his cereal. After that, he’d just abruptly asked his brother to cover for him at school after he replied to the morning register.  He never told him where he went, or where he was going and Yugyeom couldn’t take it anymore._ **

**_After changing and heading out the field, when the teacher asked where his brother was, he told him he didn’t know, because it was the truth._ **

 

**Scene 2**

 

JB sat in the coffee shop, near the window, waiting. Jinyoung had texted him to meet here because he wanted to talk about something important. Apparently it couldn’t wait and, making sure Jackson was at his desk after lunch, he left work to meet him. 

It had been about half an hour and his husband still hadn’t appeared and he was about to get worried, so he took out his phone to call him. Waiting for an answer, he looks at the sidewalk, through loads of faces that are unfamiliar to him. That’s when Jinyoung picks up the phone.

“Where are you?”

Jinyoung’s voice sounds laboured, as if he’s been running. “I’m nearly there. I’m sorry.”

“What’s going on, would it be better if I came to wherever you are?”

“No!” Jinyoung’s voice rose in panic. “Stay there.”

“It’s fine. I can go wherever you are…” JB drifts off because he sees red hair in the crowd. His eyes may not be able to make out who it is but he knows before the face gets any closer. 

“Jinyoung.”

“You can see him can’t you.”

JB moves to stand up but Jinyoung’s voice stops him again. “Don’t go. You need to talk to him.”

“J-”

“Please.” Mark enters the shop and looks around. JB watches as he continues listening to his husband’s voice. “You have to talk to him. Everything will be so much better if you talk to him-”

“Jinyoung-”

“Bam Bam will come home if you  **talk to him** .”

JB and Mark’s eyes lock onto each other when Jinyoung says this. His little brother gives him an awkward smile and then a wave.

Jinyoung hangs up the phones. 

  
  


**Scene 3**

 

**_Yugyeom wakes up to shouting downstairs. Rubbing his eyes he gets out of bed. Glancing at the time he sees that it’s 1 AM, but the sound only gets louder. Stepping out of his room and heading to the stairs, he recognises the voices coming up the stairs to be Daddy JB and Bam Bam._ **

**_“...Don’t you care that Dad Jinyoung is out with Uncle Mark right now!?”_ **

**_“They are working. I care that you’ve been out till midnight, again, and, that I’ve now found out you’ve been skipping school, and to_ ** **_follow us_ ** **_. Bam Bam, why do you think that’s okay?”_ **

**_“Because you’re not telling us anything!” Yugyeom came down the stairs in time to see Bam Bam slam his hands against a table. “I followed Dad to make sure he wasn’t cheating on you. I followed you to make sure that you and Jackson-ahjussi are just friends-”_ **

**_From his hidden place on the stairs, Yugyeom watches his Dad stand up in alarm. “How do you know about that?”_ **

**_“I was in the cafe. I heard you and Dad Jinyoung talking. I know everything now...about Uncle Mark….This isn’t just an argument.”_ **

**_“Bam Bam-”_ **

**_“I get that this is a big situation for you. I understand that you see me and Yugyeom as just kids, but we’re not kids. We watch you. We_ ** **_see_ ** **_you, Yugyeom especially. You lie to us and shove things under the rug, thinking that we can’t see them but we can! Don’t you care how he feels?”_ **

**_JB grabs Bam Bam by the arm. “You can’t tell him.”_ **

**_“Tell me what?” Yugyeom calls from the stairs._ **

**_“Go back to bed, Yugyeom.” Bam Bam tells hims, but Yugyeom only comes further down._ **

**_“Don’t tell me what to do. What are you arguing about?”_ **

**_JB shakes his head. “Yugyeom-”_ **

**_“Why are you sending me to bed,” he continues, “when you’re both down here. I can hear you from upstairs.”_ **

**_Neither of them say anything and Bam Bam only looks at his Dad. “If you don’t tell him, I will.” JB turns away but Bam Bam only follows him. “Wouldn’t you rather him be prepared if something happens?”_ **

**_“Bam Bam, nothing is going to happen.”_ **

**_“If nothing is going to happen, tell him about Uncle Mark.”_ **

**_“Bam-”_ **

**_“Tell him about you and Jackson, tell him something! Don’t make me a buffer between me and your own son!”_ **

**_Bam Bam’s voice is angrier than Yugyeom has ever heard it and JB turns around looking hurt._ **

**_“Is that how you feel? Is that how I make you feel?”_ **

**_“I can’t do it anymore.” Angry tears sprout from Bam Bam’s eyes and he holds his head as if it’s in pain. “This affects me too.”_ **

**_Yugyeom stares at his older brother, taken aback by everything he’s said._ **

**_“I don’t want any of you to split up. I don’t want anyone to get hurt… I’d rather...I’d rather…” Bam Bam looks up, his eyes more clear when he speaks again. “If I’m the one shielding Yugyeom, maybe I’d do a better job fixing your problems. I seem to see them better than you do." Bam Bam grabs his jacket and walks to the door before either JB or Yugyeom can move._ **

**_“Aren’t you going after him?” Yugyeom cries, but JB doesn’t move. Yugyeom is the one to run after his brother but as soon as he makes it out of the door, Bam Bam is nowhere to be seen._ **

**_“He’s gone isn’t he?” JB whispers from behind Yugyeom. He turns and sees the depressed look on his father’s face._ **

**_“I can’t seem to stop messing up.”_ **

  
  



	23. Episode 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to write my essays oh my god 🤪

**Scene 1**

Mark sat awkwardly across from his older brother and tried not to keep eye contact. They hadn’t talked in two weeks. He barely knew what to say.

“Bam Bam is safe. He’s at my house.”

“I know. Jinyoung told me.”

“He did?” Mark’s eyes look up at this news and sees his brother nod into his coffee.

“He tells me everything about you two.”

Mark nods, surprised but understanding as to why that would happen. As the silence between them grew again, guilt spread in the pit of his stomach, but anger did too and he didn’t know what to do about it.

“Are you going to keep ignoring me?” he asks, when he can’t take it anymore.

“Mark, I’m not ignoring you, and if I was, don’t you think there’s a reason for it?” JB looks at him for the first time and Mark can’t keep his gaze. “There’s a lot going on at work.”

Mark makes an absent sound of disgust. “Don’t lie.”

“Did you forget that there was an entire scandal about Jackson and Youngjae that’s affecting my entire company, or did you think you were the center of my world?”

Mark is taken aback by this. “What?”

“I have this thing called a family; a husband, children. I have a life, away from you.”

“Don’t you think I know that? Are you forgetting I’m your family too?”

“I would rather forget that, than think about what I did!” JB rises in his chair. “My husband? How dare you!”

“JB-”

“And to think, you were the one who got him angry at me in the first place, by telling him about Jackson and me.”

Mark stands as well. “I thought you told him! Don’t you think that’s something you tell your husband?”

“Don’t tell me about things I should tell my husband, why didn’t you tell me!” JB’s voice lowers in exhaustion. He falls back in his chair, anger gone, looking more upset. “Why didn’t you tell me you had feelings for him? Why have you never told me?”

Mark stares at his brother and feels his emotions writhe again. “How am I supposed to tell you anything. You deserve to be happy.”

JB’s eyes linger on his brother as he continues. “I don’t know why I feel this way, or why I keep feeling this way...I don’t know what to tell you.”

“You can start by explaining Jackson to me. It might be best to start with that.”

“Huh?”

“Why did you leave and go to Italy.”

Mark’s eyebrows scrunch up in confusion. “Because I wanted to give you two a chance.”

 

**Scene 2**

 

**_Mark watched as JB and Jackson collected popcorn and drinks from the counter as he got the tickets. JB was smiling more than he’d ever seen him, and it made Mark happy to see his brother like that. He was smiling too; anytime out together was a good time, especially when Jackson was involved._ **

**_Moving to University together, they’d met Jackson at a meet and greet for new students. JB and Jackson happened to be on the same course and because they had met, JB had of course introduced him to Mark and the three of them just clicked. The second year, it was immediate that they moved into the same apartment together. Mark knew they were lucky to have someone like Jackson as a friend. In some ways he was like an extra brother, but in other ways...he wasn’t._ **

**_Mark didn’t know when he started to look at Jackson differently, but at some point it just happened. Jackson’s smile was infectious and being out with him lifted Mark’s mood, even when it was in a very low place. He wondered if Jackson knew that and that’s why he’d invited them all out to see a movie; Mark hadn’t done too well on an assignment. He hadn't told anyone he was too torn up about it, but it felt like Jackson somehow knew they needed to go out._ **

**_Receiving the tickets from the vendor, and the guys having received the snacks, they met at the entrance to the theatre and made their way in. Jackson immediately hung his arm over JB’s shoulder and tried to do the same with Mark, but failed, causing Mark to bend over. He didn’t mind it though. Having Jackson’s arm around him only made him feel so much better; it was the next best thing to holding hands._ **

**_Sitting in the theatre, Jackson sat between Mark and JB and juggled the spot well. Just as he whispered jokes into JB’s ear, he also did the same with Mark, making sure he didn’t feel left out. Everytime Jackson whispered in Mark’s ear though, he felt a tickle up his spine that he couldn't ignore. His breath was warm and he could barely focus on what he was saying by the time the movie was over._ **

**_Making their way outside, they stopped for food at a street vendor and headed to the park. Finishing his food first, Jackson was filled with so much energy he started pushing for a race, putting stakes of who would cook and clean when they got home on the table. Of course, neither JB or Mark wanted to do that, so they raced down the grass towards the river. In the middle of the race, Jackson started cartwheeling to show off. This was something he did when he thought he was about to lose, which raised the stakes, but he wasn’t the only one who was acrobatically talented. Mark added in some cartwheels of his own and a few handsprings. The only one who didn’t join in was JB and that meant that he’d already lost._ **

**_When they met up, panting, at the finish line, Jackson laughed at JB’s sheepish smile._ **

**_“What do you guys want to eat?” JB asked, sighing._ **

**_“Seafood.” Jackson and Mark replied._ **

**_JB looked between both of them. “Any specific kind of seafood?”_ **

**_They both shrugged and he laughed, nodding. “I guess I’ll shopping. You two stay here.”_ **

**_They both nod and head towards the bank of the river as JB made his way to the mart on the corner, hands in his pockets._ **

**_Mark watched as Jackson managed to stay quiet for a full sixty seconds as he took in the scenery of the river. It made him laugh, which ruined the moment and Jackson caught on immediately._ **

**_“What’s up with you?”_ **

**_“Nothing. You just looked funny.”_ **

**_“I looked funny? Huh?” He grabbed Mark by the neck and they tussled for a bit before Mark broke free. He stared into Jackson’s eyes for a little while and Jackson was the first one to turn away. In response, Mark kissed him on the cheek._ **

**_“I told you not to do that.”_ **

**_Mark smiled. “Sorry.”_ **

**_“You don’t look sorry.”_ **

**_“How can I be when I like you so much.” Mark stared at him._ **

**_“And I told you...we should just be friends.”_ **

**_“Why?” Mark grabbed onto his arm. “Why won’t you give me a chance?”_ **

**_Jackson looked warily around him. “We’re friends Mark.”_ **

**_“So you don’t think we could be more? At all?”_ **

**_“How many times do I have to tell you,” He gently pulled away from Mark’s arm, “I don’t like you that way.”_ **

**_“Then why did you whisper in my ear.”_ **

**_“What?”_ **

**_“In the theatre.”_ **

**_Jackson sighed, “That-”_ **

**_“If you don’t like me, don’t lead me on.”_ **

**_“I’m not leading you on.”_ **

**_“You’re ignoring my feelings.”_ **

**_“Mark-”_ **

**_“You’re ignoring my feelings so that what...we can stay the same?”_ **

**_“Mark!” Jackson’s voice held an edge that Mark had never heard before. His eyes reflect something he’d only seen in JB until now. “This can never happen.”_ **

**_“Why not?”_ **

**_“Because I already have someone!” As soon as he said the words, his face changed to one of guilt. “I already have someone.”_ **

**_Mark on the other hand, was confused. “Who?”_ **

**_“It doesn’t matter.”_ **

**_“How have I never seen them? We live together, Wang, so you have to be lying. There are other ways to tell me no.”_ **

**_“Are there?” Jackson stepped closer to where Mark was standing. “Because, the amount of times I’ve tried to put you off nicely haven’t been enough.”_ **

**_“Jackson-”_ **

**_“I get that you like me, and I get that I make you happy, and I don’t mind doing those things, but as a friend Mark. There can never be a romantic relationship between us. So please...let this go.”_ **

**_“I’ll let it go if you tell me who it is.”_ **

**_“Mark-”_ **

**_“Tell me!”_ **

**_“It’s your brother!”_ **

**_Mark’s eyes widened. “What?”_ **

**_“It’s JB.” Jackson shook his head and messed with his hair. He tried to walk away but Mark only followed him._ **

**_“How long?” He asked, anger rising in his chest. “How long has this been going on.” Jackson didn’t answer but that only made Mark more adamant. “Tell me!”_ **

**_“A couple months.”_ **

**_“How long is a couple months?”_ **

**_“Six.”_ **

**_“I confessed to you long before then. Did you string me along for this long? Have I just been a third wheel to you two all this time?”_ **

**_“Mark, no-”_ **

**_“Do you act the same because I’m his little brother and I’m some sort of a joke to you?”_ **

**_“No!”_ **

**_But Mark was already walking away. He passed his brother on the way out of the park but didn’t say anything to him._ **

**_Everything spiralled out of control from there._ **

 

**Scene 3**

“But then you just left!” JB shouts, not caring that everyone in the shop was looking at them. “You left without saying goodbye. You left without telling me where you were going. You just disappeared from my life. A teacher had to tell me you were going, and by that point, you were on a plane!”

“It was a dumb way to act, and I’m sorry.”

“It’s a dumb way to act if your twelve! It’s a dumb way to act if you don’t have any communication skills.”

“JB-”

“If you were gone for a couple weeks, I wouldn’t have cared, maybe even a couple months, but you were gone for an entire year, Mark. You didn’t even call me. You were punishing me!”

“No, I wasn’t. That’s just how long it took me to get over it...and I thought you’d still be with him when I got back. Every time I thought about you two...I couldn’t handle thinking about that. I couldn’t come back until I was over it.”

“So you were thinking of me?”

“Yes!”

“Bullshit, Mark!” JB stood up from the table. “You don’t just get to leave. None of you do.”

“JB-”

“What if I just up and left every time I got mad or frustrated? What would happen to my life, to my family... to you. “

Mark stared at his brother.

“When our parents died, I had to give so much up. Do you have any idea how many times I thought about leaving you?” Angry tears brim over JB’s eyes but he hastily wipes them away. “But I didn’t, because we’re brothers. We’re supposed to be here for each other. You are the only blood family I have and you fucking up and left me because of a guy. Jinyoung left me because of a guy…” A dark look grew in his brother’s eye, and Mark watched as JB grabbed his jacket. He only looked at Mark’s direction one last time. 

“Tell Bam Bam to come home. Tell him whatever you have to to get him to leave, especially if it’s the truth because if I have to come down there myself, there is no telling what I might say to him, or you.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm going to push through until the end. I'm in a sort of flow. 😜


	24. Episode 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Can I just tell you all how much I love Got7. Have you been watching Prison life with JB because I have 😍

**Scene 1 (Part 1)**

Mark sat on the bus home fuming. He couldn't believe his brother had stormed out on him. Not only that but Jinyoung had tricked him into meeting with him in the first place. He wasn't even prepared to see JB let alone to talk to him after everything that had happened and, even then, he hadn't been given the chance to defend himself and he hated that most of all.    


JB was blind and had no idea how Mark was really feeling...and to bring up the past like that. What did that achieve? Even bringing it up only highlighted how unfair every situation had been.    


It was clear who Jackson liked first and it had been Mark; there were loads of signs, if only his stupid brother had paid attention. That’s why it was so unfair. It was like after weeks of flirting and near misses, Jackson had just decided to be in love with his brother...just like everyone else in his life had.

 

**Scene 2**

 

**_Jackson stepped up and passed Mark a candy. Mark looked up and smiled at him from his place on the bench, taking it as Jackson climbed on next to him._ **

**_“How was your first day of class?” Jackson asked._ **

**_Mark unwrapped the sweet and popped it in his mouth. “It was good.”_ **

**_“I assume architecture has a lot to do with math.”_ **

**_Mark nodded. “I have classes in history, structural design… math is just apart of it.” He turned to Jackson, and did a cute eye roll before smiling brightly. “But I love it.”_ **

**_Jackson smiled and ruffled Mark’s hair. “Good.”_ **

**_Mark escaped by leaning away. “And you? How are your classes?”_ **

**_Jackson’s eyebrows rose, “Well, everything’s great...except for audio theory and music business.”_ **

**_“What’s wrong with that?”_ **

**_“I’m just really shit at those things. You’re brother is way better at it than I am.”_ **

**_Mark nodded and looked back at the books he had laying out on the table. “My brother is good at a lot of things.”_ **

**_Jackson leaned forward, sliding into Mark’s view. “Don’t be jealous.”_ **

**_“I’m not jealous.”_ **

**_“I mean, it’s okay to be, I’m jealous of him too.”_ **

**_Mark raised an eyebrow and looked at jackson sideways on. “Are you really?”_ **

**_Jackson played with a pencil whilst laying his head on the table. “I mean, yeah. He’s always showing me up in some way, but it’s not like he does it on purpose. He works so hard, it’s impossible not to see how much he wants to be here and I can’t hate him for that.”_ **

**_Mark turned back to his work and nodded._ **

**_“But you don’t be jealous, okay?” He felt Jackson stroke a strand of his hair. His fingers tickled his ear._ **

**_Mark tried to keep his eyes on his work. “How can I not be when you talk about him like that?”_ **

**_He heard Jackson laugh from beside him. He leant up from the table and leant his head over Mark’s shoulder instead. His lips were directly next to his ear._ **

**_“Do you want me to compliment you instead?”_ **

**_Mark tried to shrug him off but Jackson only wrapped his arms around Mark’s waist to stay where he was._ **

**_“Jackson, I have work to do!” But Jackson only borrowed deeper into Mark’s shoulder._ **

 

**_Scene 3 (Part 2)_ **

 

Mark gets off the bus and walks down the street to his house angrier than ever. He calls Jinyoung on his way. 

“Mark-”

“I can’t believe you set me up.” He hears Jinyoung sigh from the other end of the phone and, added to his reply, that only makes him angrier.

“Mark, I had too, otherwise when would the two of you even speak? I was just trying to help-”

“A whole lot of good it did! He stormed out on me. You sent me there to be told off, not to explain myself.”

“Mark-”

“And on top of that,  **I** now have the responsibility of sending  **your** son home.” Mark turns the corner and watches as his own house comes into view. “The fact that I even let him stay with me… Do you know what he said? Do you know what he called me?!”

 

**Scene 4**

 

**_He'd shown up, knocking at Mark's door at about 2AM. He was lucky Mark had only just gotten in himself or he would be asleep._ **

**_“Bam Bam, what are you doing here?”_ **

**_Bam shrugged and placed his hands in his pocket._ **

**_“Bam?” Mark prompted._ **

**_“I had a fight with my dad.”_ **

**_“Which one?”_ **

**_Bam Bam shrugged again. “Does it matter? Can I just...come in...please?”_ **

**_Mark nodded and opened the door wider so his nephew could walk in._ **

**_“I'll grab you some blankets so you can sleep on the couch.” He called out, heading into his bedroom to find them. When he came back out, Bam Bam was sitting on the couch staring at the carpet. He looked like he might break._ **

_**“I used to have fights with my parents all the time.” Mark felt Bam's eyes watching him as he set out blankets and a pillow. “JB too, as you may know,” he laughed, humorlessly. “But as long as I explain myself he forgives me in no time, so don't worry too much about it. I’m sure when you go home, it’ll be sorted out.”** _

_**“No offence,” Bam Bam looked back towards the carpet, his voice hard, “but I don't need advice from someone like you.”** _

**_“Well, I'm just trying to be a good Uncle. If you don't want that, maybe you should have gone to Youngjae's instead.” He laughed again but Bam Bam didn't join in. Mark stood over him and looked around awkwardly, unsure of what else he needed to do in the realms of responsible adult. “Are you hungry? I can see what I have in the fridge.” He headed for the kitchen, but two words from his nephew's mouth stopped him in his tracks._ **

**_“Home wrecker.” Bam mumbled._ **

**_“I'm sorry?”_ **

**_“Home wrecker.” His voice rose. “That's what you are.”_ **

**_Mark turned around in the walkway, alarmed, to find Bam Bam staring daggers at him. “You have both of my parents fighting, and you haven't even been around for most of it. I don't know what else to call you, but you’re no Uncle of mine if you're willing to do that.”_ **

**_Mark’s voice was quiet when he finally found the words to reply. “You don't know what you're talking about.”_ **

**_“You're in love with Dad Jinyoung aren't you! I'm not stupid. I've seen you two together. You were even with him tonight.”_ **

**_Mark stepped back towards the couch. “We were_ ** **_working_ ** **_.”_ **

**_“Right.”_ **

**_Mark stared at the smug look on his nephews face and felt dread rise in his chest. “Wait...were you following us?”_ **

**_Bam stood up from his perch and walked towards his uncle, close to his height at only 16 years of age. “Any other family, fine, it's none of my business but it's my family. It's even your family. Dad JB is your brother. How could you do this to him?”_ **

**_“I haven't done anything to him!”_ **

**_“And yet you haven't talked in weeks.” Bam looked at his Uncle with disgust. “The least you can do is call him and explain.”_ **

**_“I don't think this is any of your business, but I have called him. He won't pick up the phone.”_ **

**_“Well maybe now he will, now that I'm staying here.”_ **

**_Mark watched as Bam lay back on the couch, making himself comfortable._ **

**_“Are you serious? You’re going home Bam!”_ **

**_“It's the middle of the night. You really want me to make my own way home? What would Jinyoung say?”_ **

**_Mark wanted to rip his nephew's head off but he was right. He'd come to his house late enough already. He couldn't send him back yet….but this entire conversation….he didn’t know how to come back from it._ **

  
  


**Scene 5 (Part 3)**

 

“-If me and my brother never speak again-” Mark continues as he reaches for his keys to get into the house.

“If you never speak again, what?” Jinyoung cries out, alarmed on the other end of the phone. “Of course you’re going to speak again.”

Mark is silent as he shuts the door. 

“You’re not planning on going anywhere are you? You can’t. We have to finish the competition.”

“One of the events is abroad.”

“Mark-”

“Have you told him?”

Jinyoung sounds like he’s slamming his hand against a table. “I haven’t had a chance too. I don’t want to go if it’s going to upset him. You shouldn’t be talking about leaving either!”

“Test it out. Try telling your son first.” Mark walks through to the living room. “Bam.” He calls out, looking for his nephew. “Your dad’s on the phone, he wants to talk to you.”

Jinyoung is mumbling something unintelligible on the other side of the phone when Mark finds Bam Bam, only he’s not where he expects him to be.

“Bam?” He’s leant over the counter, head near the sink, eyes closed. Mark steps over and grabs his shoulder. “Hey.” 

Bam doesn’t move. 

“Hey, wake up.” 

When that doesn’t work, Mark becomes more alarmed. He puts the phone down and uses both hands to shake his nephew but the full weight of him slides to the floor and Mark has to fall to catch him. Something clatters onto the ground next to him and he sees a package of ibuprofen fall onto the floor.

“Bam Bam!” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me be EXPLICITLY clear: this is not a suicide attempt. No-one is dying in this story.


	25. Episode 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo, my essays are doing better. I'm sorry if the tenses are all messed up, I tried my best but honestly the whole thing got away from me.

**Scene 1**

Jackson looks between the recording panel and the clock on his wall. JB had been out for lunch for three hours now, to meet Jinyoung he was sure, but it bothered him that he hadn’t come back yet. He wanted to pull out his phone and see if he’d had any messages, but he couldn’t as he had his hands full with the Stray Kidz recording he was doing. 

When the recording session is over, he smiles and high fives them all as they make their way out of the door. “Well done, guys.” 

Stepping out from behind them, he rushes in the direction of the office, hoping to find JB there but when he opens the door, the only person he sees is Youngjae, lounging on the couch listening to music on his head phones. 

“Youngjae!”

Youngjae jumps up in alarm at Jackson’s sudden and loud voice. He whips off his headphones. 

“I was practicing.”

Jackson shakes his head, uncaring about that. “Where’s JB?”

“Didn’t he come to you?” 

Jackson shakes his head again, “No.” 

“Well he hasn’t been here.” 

Jackson starts to tap his foot on the carpet. “He’s been gone for three hours.” 

“Are you worried about him?” Jackson doesn’t answer Youngjae’s question and instead reaches for his phone. “He’s only with Jinyoung, I’m sure he’s fine and they lost track of time or something.”

Jackson stares at his phone. The messages on it had to disagree:

 

_ Is JB at work? - Jinyoung _

 

_ Is he there? - Jinyoung _

 

There were loads more and they were met by a few missed calls, all from Jinyoung. The final message read: 

 

_ Jackson, listen, I don't know where he is. I know you might be busy but I need to find him and neither of you are answering the phone. - Jinyoung _

 

“Youngjae, check your phone.”

“Huh? Why?” 

“Just check it.”

Youngjae looks around and grabs it from off of the coffee table. His facial expression becomes serious as well. “I had it on silent.”

“Did Jinyoung text you too?”

Youngjae nods and then the phone starts ringing in his hands. He picks up immediately and looks at Jackson when he speaks.

“Jinyoung? What's going on?”

Jackson looks down at his own phone and dials JB’s number while he listens to their conversation.

“He what?” Youngjae’s voice pitches higher in alarm. 

“What?” Jackson mouths. Youngjae doesn’t answer him, instead choosing to place all of his attention on the phone call. 

“I’m sure he’s not here because we thought he was with you. Didn’t you two have lunch together?”

There’s more talking from the other end when Jackson’s phone stops calling. Bringing the phone away from his ear, he sees that the call was ended and he stares at his phone like he’s never seen it before. 

“Did he just hang up on me?” he asks himself.

Youngjae looks up then. “JB?” he mouths and Jackson nods, still mystified. “No...Jinyoung, he’s not answering to us either.”

Jackson dials JB’s number again but once again it gets declined. It couldn’t have been off, or why would it ring? And if he wasn’t with Jinyoung then... 

“He’s hanging up on me.” Jackson laughs joylessly, raising the phone to his ear again.

“...Of course I will, but what about JB…” Youngjae continues, but there isn’t anymore talking and it’s clear that Jinyoung hangs up after a couple more seconds. Jackson pulls away his own phone when Youngjae puts his down.

“What’s going on?” Jackson asks.

“Bam Bam’s at the hospital.”

“What?”

“Jinyoung’s there but he can’t get a hold of JB. He wants me to pick up Yugyeom from school and take him there.”

Jackson is confused. “Why can’t he reach him? Weren’t they together?”

“He was with Mark, not Jinyoung.”

Jackson’s eyebrows rise. “He was what?”

“That’s what Jinyoung said. He didn’t really explain it to me but I have to go.”

“What about JB?” Jackson watches as Youngjae picks himself up off the couch and grabs his jacket. “Does he know that Bam Bam is in the hospital?”

“No, I don't think so.” Youngjae answers shrugging it on. “Why else would Jinyoung be desperate to talk to him?”

Jackson watches Youngjae while different thoughts roll around in his head. Youngjae was at the door before he knew it.

“Hey?” Youngjae snaps him out of his thoughts. “Are you coming?”

Jackson turns to face him and shakes his head. “I’ll find him.”

“What?”

“I’ll find JB.”

“You don’t even know where he is.”

“And he doesn’t know that his son is in the hospital. You go, get Yugyeom and stay with them at the hospital, then call me when you find out exactly what happened.”

  
  


**Scene 2**

Mark shouting his son's name from the other end of the phone did things to Jinyoung's heart as a father that he couldn't put into words. 

All he heard was his name, the rustling of clothes, and something falling to the ground, and he felt like his blood vessels were constricting. As calm as he might have forced himself to be, one situation leading to another had his stress levels going from ten to forty. 

“Mark.” He called for Mark as level headedly as he could but when he didn’t answer, and all he heard were worrying sounds, he ended up shouting his name. “Mark!” 

When his brother-in-law finally picked up the phone, he was breathing heavily. “He's collapsed.”

“What?”

“I have to get him to the hospital.”

“But why-”

“I don't know! But I need my phone to call an ambulance.”

“Mark-” but he’d already hung up the phone. That only made his heart beat faster. He stood up in alarm in front of the small desk he'd been using. He’d been over seeing some of the build at the gallery and was busy making sketches when Mark had called. When he stood up though, everything flew away.

He ran for his car, passing builders and the owner of the gallery who called out to him, but he didn’t answer. He raced down the steps to his car but as he got out his key and placed it in the ignition, he froze. He couldn’t think straight all of a sudden. 

Jinyoung felt like a giant weight had been put on his shoulders - What was the nearest hospital to Mark’s house? What was their insurance number? What was he going to tell Yugyeom? JB was the one who knew all the answers to these questions...but he couldn’t call him. He was afraid too. If Mark was angry, there was no telling what JB might be...but this was an emergency, so he lifted up his phone to call. 

There was no answer.

Maybe he was just as angry, and this was the worst time to find out. He tried again, and again, but each time the call was ended. He was interrupted in his attempts by Mark calling again.

“Mark? Is Bam Bam okay?”

“Yeah. We’re in an ambulance right now.”

Mark told him the name of the hospital they were going to and Jinyoung found that he could finally start his car and drive. On the way he tried to call JB several more times but he still wouldn’t answer. Arriving at the hospital, he stepped out of the car and even tried to call Jackson or Youngjae but no one was answering. He sent them texts, and hoped they'd see them and call, but they didn’t. He had to make his way to Emergency without talking to anybody.

Thankfully, Mark’s red hair stood out in a crowd and he was able to find him quickly. Bam Bam wasn’t with him.

“Where is he?”

Mark turns, hearing Jinyoung’s voice, and the same stress Jinyoung feels is reflected in his face. Only a fraction of it falls when they see each other. “They took him to do some tests.”

Jinyoung places his hands on his hips and takes a deep breath, rubbing his neck. 

“He’d been taking pain killers from the day he got to my house,” Mark continues, “but I didn’t know what they were for.”

Jinyoung thinks back in his head but doesn’t remember Bam Bam bringing up being in any pain. “He didn’t say anything to me.”

“Maybe...he…” Mark gives Jinyoung a pointed look, but his brother-in-law immediately shuts him down.

“No. Bam Bam isn’t like that. No matter what’s going on, I refuse to think he’d do something like this on purpose. Yugyeom will know what’s going on if we don’t.”

Mark nods, accepting that. “Are you going to pick him up?”

“I can’t leave.”

“JB?”

“He isn’t answering his phone.”

Mark nods crosses his arms. “I’m not surprised.”

“You-”

“I don’t want to talk about it Jinyoung, it’s not the time. Have you called at work?”

Jinyoung pulls out his phone. “I’ll try one more time.”

He calls Youngjae’s number for the fiftieth time, and this time his best friend answers. 

“Youngjae! Thank you for answering.”

“Jinyoung, what’s going on?”

“Bam Bam. He collapsed. He’s in the hospital.”

“He what?”

“Is JB there?”

“No. He never came back from lunch.”

Jinyoung looks to Mark, but he’s avoiding eye contact. “Are you sure he’s not there?”

“I’m sure he’s not here because we thought he was with you. Didn’t you two have lunch together?”

“No…” Jinyoung drifts off, his adrenaline rush from earlier beginning to ebb. “He was with Mark.”

“Why was he-”

“I can’t explain everything right now, but can you reach him?”

“No...Jinyoung, he’s not answering us either.” He assumes he means Jackson. 

Jinyoung’s heart sinks. “OK, well I’ll keep trying, just...can you do me a favour and pick up Yugyeom from school please. I don’t want him to be alone while this is going on but I can’t go myself.”

“...Of course I will, but what about JB…” Just as Youngjae goes to ask his question, Jinyoung sees a doctor step up to Mark.

“Youngjae I have to go. Let me know when you get here with Yugyeom and I’ll meet you.” Then he promptly hangs up. He rejoins Mark and Mark points out Jinyoung as Bam Bam’s father.

“We’re still doing an evaluation,” the doctor tells him, “but he did take too many pills in a short amount of time. We’re getting them out of his system at the moment but is there anything else we need to know about? What’s the reason he was taking them?”

Mark looks to Jinyoung but Jinyoung has no choice but to shake his head, as he doesn’t know. “I’m not sure. There’s nothing I know of but my youngest is coming. If there’s something I don’t know, he will.”

“Of course.”

 

**Scene 3**

When the message came that Yugyeom had to go to the teacher during lunch, he had a sneaking suspicion it was about Bam Bam. After running away from home for the week, he hadn't been coming to school and he knew he was going to be asked about it sooner or later. 

He made his way from the cafeteria to the teacher’s office and knocked on the door. He recognised the teacher from the year above turn to look at him.

“Yugyeom?”

“Yes, sir.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I had a message from the class president saying my home room teacher wanted to see me.”

“Ohh.” He nods and shakes his head so that his hair falls into his eyes. He looks like he’s hiding something. “You can head over to his desk. He’s just on the phone.”

Yugyeom nods and heads in the direction of his homeroom teacher, watching him nod on the phone. When he sees Yugyeom approach, his face changes too and Yugyeom second guesses what he’s been sent here for.

“Sir-”

“One second Yugyeom,” he replies, before going back to the phone conversation. “He’s here now, so I’ll let him know.” After those words, he hangs up. He presses his palms together for a second before turning to look at the student in front of him.

“Yugyeom-”

“If this is about Bam Bam, I don’t know where he is, and I know he’s skipping school, but we have a lot going on at home, and I just think he isn’t dealing with it that well, but I promise he’ll back soon, as soon as everything is sorted out, he just-”

“Yugyeom, Yugyeom stop.” The teacher places a hand on his shoulder to calm him down. “This is isn’t about that so calm down.” Yugyeom nods, and looks to the floor breathing deeply. “But this is about your brother.” Yugyeom looks up and sees an emotion written on his teacher’s face that he doesn’t like.

He sighs and tightens his grip on Yugyeom’s shoulder. “Yugyeom, your brother...your brother’s been taken to the hospital.”

Yugyeom’s chest tightens.

“He collapsed and your godfather is coming to pick you up and take you there.”

“What...what happened?”

“They don’t know. I called your Dad but he says he’s waiting for you to see if you know anything he doesn’t.” The teacher releases Yugyeom’s shoulder and nods pensievely. “I know how close you two are...you should head down to the gates.”

Yugyeom nods, leaving the room and heading down the stairs. He barely feels the students running past him heading back to class. He doesn’t even register Kes calling his name as he makes his way outside. All he can think about is his big brother. The brother who took such half-hearted care of him but was still the best. The one who was immature but smart. The one he would never admit he looked up too.  He was always so strong when Yugyeom often felt so weak. He had to be strong now just like his brother was for him, but he couldn’t stop worrying tears from escaping his eyes. 

When Youngjae pulls up in his car, Yugyeom’s heart starts beating faster as he gets in. 

“Your brother’s going to be okay.” Youngjae tell him as they make their way out of the school gates. 

Yugyeom holds on to the car door, trying hard to believe him.

  
  


**Scene 4**

Youngjae walks, Yugyeom next to him in complete silence. He was dialling Jinyoung’s number, about to tell them they’d arrived at the hospital as he promised, but he was worried about his godson who stood right next to him. He’d been silent on the whole journey to the hospital and honestly, Youngjae didn’t have enough words of comfort to fill that silence. He kept hold of his arm as they made their way through the halls but other than that, there was nothing else he could do. Thankfully Jinyoung answers the phone. 

“Jinyoung?”

“Are you here yet?”

“Yeah, we’re here. What ward are you in?” he asks, as they make their way into the elevator.

“Third floor. I’ll meet you. How’s...Yugyeom?”

Youngjae takes a sneaky glance. “Quiet.”

“Wait for me at the elevator.” Jinyoung tells him.

They wait in the elevator silently and when it opens on the third floor, Jinyoung is there waiting for them. Youngjae helps Yugyeom out of the elevator but it’s as if he doesn’t see his Dad. Jinyoung looks to Youngjae and he shrugs, helpless, so Jinyoung takes hold of his youngest’s arms.

“Yugyeom.” 

There’s no response.

“Yugyeom, your brother is going to be okay.”

Tears start falling out of his son’s eyes but he blinks them away and seems to focus on his Dad.

Jinyoung smiles. “He’s going to be okay.”

“But I never said anything.” Is his whispered reply.

Youngjae watches as Jinyoung tries not to look too confused. “What do you mean?”

“He told me not to tell you anything.”

Youngjae steps away when he sees Mark standing in front of a nearby door. He leaves the father and son and heads over to where he’s standing.

“Hey.”

Mark turns, arms crossed, and nods in Youngjae’s direction. 

“How is he?”

Mark turns to look at where Yugyeom and Jinyoung are standing and then back to Youngjae. 

“He really is fine. They had to pump his stomach, but now he’s just asleep. We needed  Yugyeom here to find out if anything else was going on.”

“I’m sure JB would want to be here for this.”

“Look,” Mark’s voice stirs into the defensive, “I don’t know where my brother is but it’s not my fault he’s gone. I’d be gone too if this hadn’t happened. If you want to blame anyone blame Jinyoung.”

“I’m not blaming anyone, I just know that he needs to be here for his son, so tell me what happened?”

“He…” Mark sighs and uncrosses his arms. “He tricked us into meeting with each other.”

Youngjae’s eyebrows rise. “Jinyoung did?”

“I mean, if it had ended well, then it probably would have been fine, but it didn’t and now my brother has apparently disappeared.”

“Jackson is looking for him.”

“Of course he is.”

The angry edge in Mark’s voice causes Youngjae to back down but it also makes him worry. 

There seemed to be a lot going on between his friends that he hadn’t been privy too and he felt like he couldn’t be of much help after everything that he’d done. He backs away and picks up his phone, clicking on Jackson’s number. If there was one thing he could do, he could keep up his promise and somehow help Jackson find JB.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wish I could show you guys the concept pictures I had for this fanfiction, cause it started out as 'Missing Eyesight' just meaning they all wear glasses, but then it turned into this multi-layered melodramatic thing and I'm quite proud. Also...writing the ending has me in knots 🤢 That's why it took so long to even write this. Sorry.


	26. Episode 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm so late!! But I finished my essaaayyyssss

**Scene 1**

Company cars weren’t an option, but it was lucky that Jackson ran into Nickhun on his way out. Being the partnering director did give him the power to borrow someone else’s car and Nickhun was very generous.

He was sitting at a stop light when he got the call from Youngjae.

“Hey, how is everyone? Is Bam Bam ok?”

“Yeah. Bam Bam is okay. Yugyeom’s here, talking to his dad.”

“Did you find out what happened to JB?”

There’s a pause.

“Youngjae.”

“There’s a lot going on isn’t there?” His voice is quiet. “With everything that went on with us, I’m a little lost aren’t I?”

“Youngjae-”

“I don’t like it. You’re all my best friends. If something is going on, I want to help.”

“You are helping, by telling me what happened. I’ll find JB and everything will be fine. So tell me,” the light turned green and Jackson was forced to drive, “what happened?”

He hears Youngjae sigh but soon his friend starts speaking again. “Jinyoung tricked them into meeting each other. Neither of them knew they were going to meet... It didn’t go well and that’s when JB left.”

Jackson nods. “Okay.”

“Are you really going to find him based off of just that?”

“I know where to start looking.”

“Jackson-”

“I’ll find him. Don’t worry.”

 

**Scene 2**

Youngjae hangs up the phone and turns around to step back into Bam Bam’s hospital room. Some things had come to light since Yugyeom had gotten there.

When they finally managed to calm Yugyeom down they stepped into Bam Bam’s room to see that he was awake. 

“Bam!” Yugyeom ran to his brother and hugged him as soon as he sat up. His older brother looked understandably confused to find everyone there.

“What’s going on?” He asked, voice hoarse.

“I found you collapsed in my kitchen.” Mark explained matter-of-factly, leaning against the wall. “I had to bring you to the hospital.”

Bam Bam reached for his head and blinked slowly. Yugyeom immediately grabbed for his hand. 

“Are you okay?” Bam tried to shake him away, but his younger brother was persistent. 

“Gyeom, stop.”

“It’s a headache isn’t it?”

“Shut up.”

“Is that why you were on painkillers?” Jinyoung sat down on the bed next to him. “Headaches?”

“Yugyeom’s overreacting. I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine if you’re taking pills everyday. We’re at the hospital, we can tell a doctor-”

“No!” Bam Bam shook off his brother’s hands and his father’s worry. “It’s just stress.”

Jinyoung placed a firm hand on his son’s arm. “Or it might not be. Please.”

Bam stared at them both. Both of their worrying looks would make anyone cave, and he did, although he didn’t look to happy about it.

“I told you not to tell him.” Bam Bam whispered in his brother’s direction.

“You’ve told me to do a lot of things. I told you I’m not listening anymore.”

Jinyoung nodded and stepped out to find the doctor, to give him this new information, and then they were all pushed out so they could do some more tests. 

Youngjae stood next to Jinyoung and Yugyeom who were sitting on the bench waiting for the tests to be over. Jinyoung had his arm around his son’s and Youngjae found that he had to step away. He was walking to the hospital cafeteria when he saw Mark sitting at a table on his own, holding a coffee cup.

“Aren’t you leaving?” He asks from behind him. 

Mark looks up from the table, surprised to see Youngjae and shakes his head. “I can’t leave. I’m the one who found Bam Bam; I’m his guardian and they might have more questions.”

Youngjae sits down opposite him. “You don’t feel responsible for him just as an Uncle?”

“Of course I do.” Mark raises an eyebrow, confused. “What? You think I don’t care about my family?”

“Mark…you...you and JB.” Youngjae sighs and looks around the room, “What’s going on?”

Mark stares at Youngjae for a minute before laughing. “Oh right. I keep forgetting you don’t know anything. After all the trouble you caused, you haven't been paying attention.”

Youngjae slams the table with a fist and Mark jumps in surprise. “All of you are like family to me and I hate being kept out of the loop. I hate that I made a mistake and I hate that everyone was so ready to forgive me. I don’t deserve it, so I need to make it up to everyone. I know I can help, support everyone somehow, if I just knew what was going on.” He takes a deep breath and flattens his hand. “So please, fill me in.” 

Mark stares at Youngjae for a while before speaking. “It’s a long story.”

“We’ve got time.” 

 

**Scene 3**

Jackson had driven all around the city looking for JB. He’d called over and over even though he knew he wouldn’t answer, so that left Jackson using his reasoning. 

He knew JB more than he knew himself so he believed he could find him. Knowing even a tiny amount of what happened helped him understand how his best friend felt. He must have been pushed over the edge, or why else would he disappear? He knew he could find him, somewhere, if he just kept looking. 

He had his phone constantly redialling as he drove around but, for a second, it stopped. He didn’t notice at first but there was breathing over the speaker in the car. Then a voice. 

“...Jackson…”

It was faint but he could hear it and he swerved the car to the side of the road. “JB!”

“Jackson...I don’t know what to do…”

He hears the helplessness in his friend’s voice and it tears at him. He’s desperate to find him, but he takes a deep breath and softens his voice when he next speaks. “Tell me where you are.”

“Jackson…”

“Tell me. Just tell me.”

 

**Scene 4**

Youngjae stares at Mark and wonders how he could have missed out on so much. 

“Jackson and JB?”

“Honestly, you worked with them how long? You never noticed how close they were?”

“But you and Jinyoung…” 

Mark’s face grows dark. 

“But how could you? And the boys...how could you just go after your brother’s husband like that? What were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t thinking,” Mark takes a sip of his coffee, “but it doesn’t matter now anyway.”

“What, you don’t love him anymore?”

“I do...I’ve just decided that telling him is enough.”

Youngjae stares at Mark. “And that’s it?”

“What do you mean?”

“You think you can get away with just telling him and that has no backlash for you or anyone? Is this really the beef that’s been between all of you this whole time?”

“Yeah.”

There’s a short silence where Youngjae stares at Mark. After a while, Mark rolls his eyes. “I have no intentions of destroying my brother’s marriage, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“But you’ve already destroyed it; by telling Jinyoung how you feel, you’ve basically already done that.”

Mark leans forward. “But Jinyoung doesn’t love me. He loves my brother.”

“But you haven’t accepted that.”

Mark frowns. “Yes I have.”

“Oh yeah, because the story you just told me completely supports that.”

“Youngjae-”

“You haven’t left him alone this entire time. You’ve been confusing him for weeks.”

“How have I?”

“Oh, I don’t know... You let him stay at your house when he had an argument with his husband. You went to his house and confused his kids by starting a fight.  Oh! And there’s the fact that you haven't explicitly told him you’re letting him go!”

Mark shakes his head in disagreement.

“Do you know how confused he probably feels? He’s not a mind reader you know!”

“But he’s in love with my brother. There’s no problem because he’s in love with JB.”

“But he cares about you!” Youngjae takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. “Even if he doesn’t share the same feeling as you, you were friends before this happened, and you became a family. Jinyoung has always, and will always, care for everyone in his life, no matter the circumstances; good or bad. Why do you think he even kept talking to you after you told him?”

“For JB...and Jackson. He told me so.”

“He probably thought you’d care about them just as much as he did when he asked you about that. We’re talking about Jackson going to jail for something he didn’t do. JB is your brother...and Jackson is his best friend- your best friend-”

“Don’t I know it,” Mark mumbles, sighing.

Youngjae stares at him incredulous. “Is this a fucking joke to you?”

“Didn’t I say there was no issue?! Especially if all he sees me as is JB’s younger brother-”

“He’ll care about you for life, whether he’s in love with you or not! He will be thinking of your feelings even when he has to hurt them! And JB…”

“JB doesn’t care.”

Youngjae chokes on his words when he hears that. Composing himself, his next sentence sounds defeated. “Then you really don’t know your brother at all.”

Mark stares daggers towards Youngjae. “How dare you.”

Youngjae stands up and leans over the table, anger renewed. “Mark.. your brother is missing. His oldest son is in the hospital and he doesn’t even know about it because no-one can reach him. So how dare **you** . You don’t care about his feelings at all do you?” Mark hesitates on a reply and Youngjae sees something in his eyes he doesn’t expect to see there. “Do you...hate him for something?”  

“No.”

Youngjae doesn’t say anything but this only makes Mark more anxious.

“I don’t!”

Youngjae stands and messes with his shirt. His voice has levelled to more of a whisper. “I admit it, I haven’t known either of you for a long time but, because of Jinyoung, I do know you; I know how the both of you are. JB cares about you a hell of a lot but sometimes... sometimes I feel that you don’t care the same amount for him.”

“He’s my brother, of course I care about him-”

“Then how can you treat him this way? He’s been nothing but kind and selfless to you while you were growing up. I’ve never known someone so nice and caring, with so many talents, to almost sacrifice them all for someone they care about it, with no thought for themselves. It’s heartbreaking and amazing-”

“Amazing.” Mark whispers. Youngjae staggers on his next words due to Mark’s weird interruption. “Of course he’s amazing,” he continues, “he’s Im Jaebum; the best songwriter of our time, the best parent, the best husband…”

“...and the best brother too…” Youngjae adds, waiting for Mark to repeat it, but he doesn’t. He instead runs his hands through his hair and looks away. 

“He’s the perfect brother. I’ve never heard him referred to as anything else.”

There’s a silence between them as Youngjae tries to unpick the few words Mark has said, but it’s hard. Harder still when Mark starts talking again.

His eyes are unfocused. “I care about my brother. I know my brother better than anyone else and I always will, you know why?”

Youngjae shakes his head, still not following the conversation turn.

“My brother has never made any mistakes. Ever since he was a kid, he’s been good at everything and, because of that, my parents trained me to look up to him.  _ Be more like your brother _ , they always said,  _ he’s going somewhere _ .

He won music competitions, poetry competitions, dance competitions. He wasn’t an artistic prodigy but our parents always looked at him like he was...I mean, so did I. When he achieved something new, I was always so proud of him, because he was  **my** brother. When I achieved anything, I didn’t even care that I was passed over because I knew it could never equal what my brother could do. He was older than me, he would always be able to do new things better and faster...but then our parents died...

“I expected this big fall out, you know. I had one. The five stages of grief had nothing on what I felt...but my brother...my perfect brother...he never wavered on anything. The funeral…” A tear fell from Mark’s eye but he wiped it away quickly, choosing to ignore that it had ever been there. “Everyone praised him on his composure in such a heartbreaking situation. They praised him for not letting it destroy him. They **praised** him for taking sole responsibility of me as he was a legal adult and could do it. 

They kept praising him when he gave up on his dreams of being an idol to make sure I was doing okay. That I got into University first, and only then could he go.” More tears fall and he wipes at them frantically, only he’s unable to keep up.

“Mark.” Youngjae tries to stop him but he keeps going.

“But I didn’t want to praise him. I never asked him to do any of those things. I wanted him to mess up. I wanted him to get in trouble and make mistakes, because even when he had no intention of succeeding, he would succeed anyway. He got jobs no-one else could get, he got a scholarship even when he was older than most applicants... He got a job in what he loved, he got his own company and he got Jackson and Jinyoung.”

“Mark-”

“He got a new family, and kids that love him more than anyone else in the world!”  Mark breathes heavily and stares at the table between them. “What did I get?

“I still don’t have a stable job and I’m in my early thirties. I only have a house because of my brother. The first design jobs I ever got were because of my brother.”

Mark looks up at Youngjae, his eyes a flood. “I’m only in this Architecture competition because of my brother. He found it for me and if I don’t win...I’ll have nothing. Without Jinyoung I have nothing…

“I just want something for myself. I just want to be as happy as he is…”

“Do you think Jinyoung will make you happy?” Youngjae asks softly. 

Mark yelps unintentionally, tension caught in his throat and Youngjae takes a deep breath. 

“Are you in love with Jinyoung...or do you just want what he has with JB?” 

“Even with Jackson he was so happy.” Mark whimpers, squeezing his eyes shut. “I never meant to make him unhappy.” 

Youngjae shakes his head, the weight of the situation filling up his heart. “But you’re not happy either, are you?”

Mark’s tears keep falling. 

“No,” Youngjae nods, “I guess you’re not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #Mark'sMonologue #counsellorChoi ❤


	27. Episode 26

**Scene 1 (Part 1) -**

Jackson entered the cemetery knowing this should have been the first place he looked, he just hadn't wanted too. He didn’t want to think that JB was that low, or that upset and that he’d just...left. There had only been two other times he’d run there when he was upset; the first being when his parents passed away, a time when Jackson didn’t know him, and the second being when Mark ran to Italy. The other one...the previous one, JB had only told him about, and the memory tightened in his heart.  

 

***

 

**Scene 2 -**

**_Jackson and JB were holding hands on the beach. Jackson had successfully coerced JB into skipping one class with him and he’d immediately stolen him to the sea front; it was the perfect day to escape school stress, and in the late afternoon they found themselves lounging in the sand with entangled fingers._ **

**_“I wish my mom was here.” Jackson heard JB whisper. He’d never heard JB mention his parents. Not that they’d known each other for very long but it seemed like a taboo subject. Whenever Jackson brought up his own parents, JB would get this look in his eye, and Mark would just turn silent. He could only guess…_ **

**_“Did she like the sea?” Jackson asked._ **

**_JB smiled at him and nodded. “She loved it. She told me once that during her year abroad, she learned how to surf, and went to every beach she could find to fly on the waves. She always looked so happy when she talked about it.”_ **

**_Jackson nodded, scared to say anything._ **

**_“It’s okay, you can ask me about my family.”_ **

**_Jackson stared out at the waves for a while before taking a deep breath. “Did they pass away?”_ **

**_JB nodded._ **

**_“How?”_ **

**_“My mom had kidney disease and it ended in kidney failure. We didn’t catch it soon enough and there were no donors available that matched.” JB sighed and tilted his back up to the sky. “My dad went soon after. He couldn’t handle her being gone...and then it was just me and Mark.”_ **

**_Jackson watched JB’s face but he was still as calm as ever talking about this. He looked so strong...but then a rogue tear started trailing down his cheek. He wiped it away quickly._ **

**_“Sorry.” He whispered, turning away._ **

**_“No, don’t apologise.” Jackson tried to turn him back but he continued to look away until the tears were gone. Then we turned back, it was like it had never happened._ **

**_“Can I be honest with you?” He whispered._ **

**_“Of course you can.”_ **

**_“I didn’t cry at their funeral.” He kept an intense gaze on the waves, but his jaw was tense, the only sign that he wasn’t as together as he may seem. “I didn’t cry and I didn’t mourn at all the entire day.”_ **

**_Jackson’s hand felt the tremors in his fingers._ **

**_“I didn’t break down until afterwards, when everyone was gone, but by that point…I had decided I wasn’t going to live without them.”_ **

**_Jackson’s heart stopped when he heard that._ **

**_“I just had to make it through the funeral…” JB continued, “I just had to wait for everyone to leave, and then I’d be able to feel...I’d be able to… I don’t know why I’m telling you this…”_ **

**_“You can, don’t worry. You can trust me.”_ **

**_JB sighed and smiled sadly. “But thinking about them...and what they would want, I decided I had to carry on.” He looked at the sand beneath them. “I had to try my best because Mark needed me. I had to be his brother.”_ **

**_“And you are the perfect brother.” Jackson added._ **

**_JB shook his head. “No.”_ **

**_“Huh?”_ **

**_“Don’t say that. I’m not perfect.”_ **

**_There’s a silence between them for a while._ **

**_“I’ve seen how you and some of the other students look at me.” There’s a vulnerable edge in JB’s voice now. “You expect me to have all the answers. You look at me like I could never make a mistake, and I’ve lived with that look my entire life, but it’s not true._ **

**_“I make plenty of mistakes. I’ve been lost plenty of times.” JB sighed but pulled Jackson closer to him. “But I want you to know...I want you to understand that I’m not perfect, and I have never been. I don’t want you to look at me like that.”_ **

**_He leans closer to Jackson, but instead of going for a kiss, he leans on his shoulder and closes his eyes. Jackson looks down at him without moving._ **

**_“I feel like I couldn’t go on if you looked at me like that.”_ **

**_Jackson takes a deep breath and looks back out to the sea. He lifts a hand and carefully strokes JB’s hair._ **

**_“I won’t.”_ **

 

**Scene 3 (Part 2) -**

That memory circled around in Jackson’s head and he felt a pit form in his stomach as he walked. Passing row after row, he finally makes it to the area where JB’s parents were buried. Stepping down the path he doesn’t hear anything, but he sees someone, their hair flying in the wind; they sit cross legged in front of a grave. 

He approaches slowly, but there’s still no sound. “JB.”

He doesn’t turn when he hears Jackson’s voice. He remains facing forwards, his hair currently hiding his eyes.  

“JB.” Jackson tries again. 

“They were the first to leave me.” JB whispers. 

“What?”

“They were the first to go, and that’s when it started.”

Jackson looks around at the scene before them before bending to his knees. 

“I never presumed to know what I was doing.” JB continues. “I had no intention of getting this far. I should have just followed them.”

“Don’t say that.”

“I feel like I’m drowning.” He turns and Jackson can finally see that his eyes are red and raw from crying. “I’ve felt like I’ve been drowning for twenty years; there’s never been a moment when I’ve had my head above water.”

“That’s not true.”

“Everyone is so busy coming to me for answers, expecting me to help them, so sure that I’ll always be able too, but the minute I mess up, it’s counted against me and they walk away.”

“JB, that’s not it.”

“Even with my parents. I made one mistake and they were gone. Mark left me and I barely got him back. What if he leaves again?”

“He won’t.”

“But what if he does!”

“He won’t!” Jackson kneels fully to face his friend. “He won’t because I won’t let him. I won’t let him leave you this time.”

“And Jinyoung?”

“Jinyoung loves you, why would he go anywhere?”

JB lets his head fall and Jackson hears him sniffle. A tear falls into the grass. “I don’t want anyone leaving me. I’m tired of it. They shouldn’t have to go anywhere. It should be me.”

Jackson takes a deep breath and puts his hands on both sides of JB’s face and lifts it up. He makes his expression as serious as possible. “I will never leave you. You hear me. No matter what, trust that I will be here for you; always and forever. You understand? You can trust that, can’t you?”

It takes some time, but JB eventually nods his head, tears still falling. Jackson wipes them away gently.

“Now, you have to go back.” Jackson says.

JB starts shaking his head immediately, panic flitting through his eyes. “I can’t. I don’t want too.”

“You have too.”

“They hate me. Mark won't talk to me again. Bam Bam thinks I’m the worst parent in the world right now...I can’t-, I can’t face them-”

“Yes you can.”

“No-”

“Yes, you can, because they need you and you need them.”

“Bu-”

“JB.” Jackson holds tight to JB’s shoulders now. “JB, Bam Bam is in the hospital.”

JB’s eyes begin to dry when he hears that. “What?”

Jackson nods. “He’s in the hospital. You need to go see him.”

JB looks around, surprised, turning for a second towards his mother’s name. Jackson had never seen pictures of her, but there was a small one resting against the stone with flowers in front of it. JB got most of his features from her.

“He needs you.” Jackson repeats.

JB’s voice in reply is a hoarse whisper. “I can’t be perfect.”

“You don’t have to be.” Jackson turns JB to face him again. “You just have to try...and if this darkness ever comes and finds you again, you tell me, okay. You tell someone. Promise me.”

One more tear falls before JB regains some of his familiar resolve. “I promise.”

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like parents want to run away sometimes but they can't and because JB was a parent and a brother to Mark it would lead him back to how he felt in the past, which was unworthy. Even though he still hasn't caught himself, he still needs to be a parent to Bam Bam but at least he knows he has Jackson by his side, and that just warms my heart. 
> 
> On to the next one!


	28. Episode 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for my absence, I'm back now.

**Scene 1 -**

 

Mark stands in front of the hospital, his mind in a mess. What Youngjae said to him stuck in his head and he didn't know how to interpret it. 

**_After waiting for some of his tears to subside, Youngjae sighed and joined Mark on his side of the table._ **

**_“You and your brother are so alike.” He said, smiling sadly. “Neither of you will confront a problem because you think you already know how it will end, but that’s not the solution. Even if you have to fight, it’s for the best if it allows you the freedom to finally hang everything out in the open. If you don’t, feelings like this will end up taking root, like they have, and influencing your life. How much of your love do you think is for Jinyoung and the rest from pure jealousy?”_ **

**_“Youngjae-”_ **

**_“I don’t care if you don’t believe me.” He continues, cutting him off. “I don’t care if this is hard for you to hear, but I’m going to tell you because that’s what a good friend does… that’s what family does, and that’s who you all are to me. I want you all to work this out on your own. With words, or with fists if that’s what it takes-”_ **

**_“What?”_ **

**_“But I like to think you’re all more mature than that,” he chuckles. “Talk to your brother; listen to him and in return he will listen to you. He may tell you some things you don’t want to hear and you may say the same to him, but I know that would be better for you. Face your problems and stop running away.” After saying all that, Youngjae stood and left him with his own thoughts. Thoughts that were plaguing him now._ **

He had feelings for Jinyoung. He was sure of that. Jinyoung helped him feel better, act better, do better. Jinyoung made him feel like he was on the right path, like nothing would ever change...but  **was** that because of JB? Was Youngjae right? Was everything he felt fueled by resentment at his big brother...succeeding again? 

He paces in front of the hospital and thinks about it for so long, he feels himself forming a headache, but a car screeches to a halt in front of him and brings him out of it. To make matters worse, JB is the one inside. 

Both brothers stare at each other for a second. 

"Where's Bam Bam?" JB asks quietly. 

Mark takes a deep breath. "I'll take you to him."

 

**Scene 2 -**

 

Youngjae looks up from where he’s sitting to fast footsteps in the hallway. Looking down, he stands up catching the familiar image of his boss running towards him. He goes to speak but JB only runs up to give him a quick hug. 

"Thank you for being here." He whispers before heading into the room adjacent. Jackson stops next to him and Mark joins them a second later.

"You found him."

Jackson nods, sniffing. "I did."

"Where?"

Jackson turns in Mark's direction, eyes turning dangerous. "With his parents."

"Jackson-"

Without any warning, he wraps an arm around Mark's neck and drags him away. 

"We need to talk." Youngjae hears as they walk away. Before he can follow them however, Bam Bam's door opens and Yugyeom emerges out of it. 

"What happened?" Youngjae asks him, sidetracked.

"Daddy JB wants to talk to Bam Bam alone."

"Right."

"He asked if you could find the doctor."

Youngjae looks back in the direction that Jackson and Mark have disappeared and scrunches up his face. “Right.”

“I’ll go with you.”

 

**Scene 3 -**

 

Mark is pulled into an empty elevator in which, straight after, he is kissed by Jackson Wang. 

It only lasts a few seconds because Mark pushes him away instantly. “What the hell!”

“Take your shot.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Forget Jinyoung, you can have me. I was the one you wanted before right?”

Mark stares at Jackson as if he’s crazy.

“This is your chance. Take your chances with me and leave Jinyoung and JB alone.”

Mark laughs sardonically. “You’re just protecting him. Are you even over my brother? Are you even in a position to offer yourself?”

“Yes. I was over him a long time ago.”

“Liar.”

Jackson slams Mark against the elevator wall. “I’m trying to give you an out. One that lets you stay close to your brother and not break his heart.”

“As if-”

“He loves you Mark and you have such an asshole way of ignoring it! In some insane part of his mind, he might consider ruining his marriage for you just like he ruined his relationship with me as soon as you left, and it’s like you don’t give a shit!” 

This stumps Mark for a second and he stares at Jackson waiting for an explanation. 

“Why do you think he broke up with me?”

Mark clutches at his shirt. 

“Did you not even think about it?”

“It didn’t matter because I-”

“He broke up with me the second he realised I was the reason you ran away from him.”

“What?” He struggles out of Jackson’s grip.

“I promised I’d never tell you about our relationship. He was supposed to be the one to tell you but I broke that promise and you ran away to Italy.”

Mark struggles out of Jackson’s grip. “I didn’t run away from him.”

“That’s what it looked like.”

“I wasn’t running-”

“You’re parents are dead Mark! And your brother wanted to follow them! Did you know that?”

“I-”

“Did you know that?!” Jackson’s voice drowns out any reply Mark might have had. 

“Don’t you realise, that if it wasn’t for you,” Jackson’s voice softens. “JB wouldn’t be here right now. You’re his light. The person who makes him work hard. The person who makes him see the world differently, like he has some sort of purpose. His brother. His one and only brother.”

Marks sighs and looks into the mirror. “What’s the point of all this?”

“If you leave him, he will break. You have the ability to make or break the strongest person I know and that terrifies me.”

“Why?”

“Because you are so selfish and JB...isn’t! In fact, I hate you both.”

Mark realised Jackson was raging with no clear endgame. 

Instead of risking another outburst, he comes in with his own thoughts. “I’m going to talk to him.”

“Are you?”

“Youngjae just had this talk with me. Coming from him, it made a little more sense and I didn’t get kissed in the process.”

“And what are you going to say?”

“I’m going to lay everything out in the open. We’re going to talk until there’s nothing more to talk about.”

“Then promise me you won’t run away.”

Mark stares at Jackson without replying.

“Promise you won’t run away or I’ll punish you myself.”

“I promise, jesus. I promise.”

  
  


**Scene 4 -**

 

JB stands in Bam Bam's hospital room and gives his son a sad smile. Bam Bam is neutral.

“I’m sorry I’m late.”

Bam Bam messes with his blanket without looking in JB’s direction. 

“Are you okay?” JB asks. “I asked Yugyeom to find the doctor so that I could-”

"Where have you been?" Bam Bam cuts off his words with a very emotionless response. 

JB sighs and sits on the edge of his bed, deciding to tell the truth for once. "I went to see my parents."

Bam Bam's face turns into one of concern and his head whips up to look up at his dad. "What? Why? You never go to visit them unless it's their anniversary.." He realises he’s looked up and tries to recover by staring at the door. 

JB shrugs. "I didn't know what to do and I had to talk to them."

"Why..." Bam Bam drifts off when JB reaches up to fix a strand of his son's hair.

"You're so much like me."

Bam Bam's eyebrows furrow in response, but JB has his attention.

"I'm so sorry you felt burdened by everything that happened. I didn’t realise you felt so much responsibility for your brothers feelings like that...and I'm sorry I kept so much from you… I'm so used to taking burdens unto myself that I forgot how much you've grown up. I didn't want you to feel like your dad was going to leave...I know how that feels."

"But it’s not just that. There’s you and Uncle Mark."

JB shakes his head. “We…”

“He’s trying to steal Dad Jinyoung away from you and it doesn’t seem like you’re doing anything about it.”

“He’s not trying to steal anything, and I wouldn’t let him.”

“It doesn’t look that way…”

JB stares at his eldest and leans back. “Then what does it look like?”

Bam sits up straighter in his bed as his words spurt out all at once, “It looks like you’re letting them do whatever they want with no intention of watching them. They stay out late at night working and you say nothing. Dad Jinyoung is always with him and you know that Uncle Mark has feelings for your husband but it’s like you expect for those feelings to disappear just because he’s your little brother-”

“Then what should I say to him?”

“Tell him you won’t stand for it!” Bam shouts in his dad’s direction. JB smiles sadly in response. 

“You know what scares me the most?”

Bam Bam is confused by this change in conversation. 

“What?”

“That everyone I care about will hate me so much that they’d walk away.” JB looks at the wall. “Nearly everyone I love has done that. My parents, my brother, Jinyoung...even you Bam.”

“What?”

“The minute I speak up, I’m scared of the response I know will come. That’s something that has scared me my whole life...because I don’t know what I would do without any of you.” He takes his sons hand. “I love you all so much.”

Bam stares at his Dad and feels a guilty weight in his chest. “I’m sorry.”

“No, no, don’t apologise. I know what you did was for me. It was a wake up call Bam...and I’m grateful, but at the same time, I don’t want you to be so affected by us that you skip school or get sick. When I heard you were in the hospital….”

“I’m fine.”

“But your not and it’s my fault, so I’m sorry. I promise that I am going to fix as much as I can.”

“...If you’re scared you don’t have too. I’ll do it.”

Those words coming out of his son’s lips made JB want to cry all over again but he knew he couldn’t. Instead he smiled at him, choosing to take strength from it instead. 

“I have to do it anyway, if I don’t want my fears to come true.” He flicks Bam Bam’s cheek. “If my own son can do that, why can’t I?”

 

**Scene 5 -**

 

Jinyoung steps out of the bathroom and back into the hallway of Bam Bam’s ward. No-one is there when he steps up to the door and he wonders where everyone has gone but, opening Bam Bam’s door, he doesn’t care. 

JB looks up as soon as the door opens and the two lock eyes. JB gets up and in almost one stride he has Jinyoung encased in his arms. Jinyoung is too shocked to hug him back. 

“Where have you been?” He asks instead. 

“Away.” JB answers, holding him even tighter. “I’m back now though.”

Before any other questions are asked, Youngjae and Yugyeom come back with the doctor in tow. JB releases his husband and they stare at each other for a second more, loads of words unsaid passing between them, before they break away. 

Yugyeom reaches for a hug as well and JB holds his arms around his youngest for a little while before ushering him towards the door. “Let me talk to the Doctor for a second alright?”

Yugyeom nods, smiling and then heads into his brother’s room. 

JB, Jinyoung and Youngjae face the doctor together. Before anything else can be said however, they hear footsteps behind them and Mark and Jackson join the group. They all look at each other, including the Doctor until he clears his throat.

“Why don’t I talk to the parents and guardians in my office?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to write like five million conversations or one big one...what should I do?


	29. Episode 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Five million conversations here and a few million to come after 😜

**Scene 1-**

 

Mark, Jinyoung and JB sit in the doctor’s office surrounding his desk. He doesn’t look grave, so Jinyoung takes that as a good sign.

“Are there any health problems in your family?” He asks.

Jinyoung shakes his head while Mark answers. “Kidney disease.”

“-On our mother’s side.” JB adds.

The doctor nods. “The headaches were a good indicator of what tests we should run, and I did see signs of early kidney disease.”

JB grabs Jinyoung’s hand for support and he squeezes tightly in response.

“We caught it early, which is a blessing, so he runs no risk of kidney failure as of right now and he won’t need dialysis as of yet. He can get away with some medications at home, but the real question is, where do you want to go from here?”

Jinyoung’s mind was slow where JB’s was fast. “We want to be prepared.”

“Well you can do a test to see if he matches any of our listed donors just in case-”

“Test us.” JB tells him, interrupting point blank. Jinyoung looks up to see Mark nodding with him. 

Mark stands up straight from the wall he’s been leaning on. “Our mother passed away because there were no donors or matches. If we do a test now, we can find one earlier.”

“Even if he doesn’t need one, it’ll be good to know that there’s an option...we can fall back on.” The brothers look at each other in agreement, more connected over this one topic than Jinyoung had seen them in weeks.

The doctor nods. “Well, it shouldn’t take too long. Since both parents are present, we can test both of you; parents tend to be matches-”

“Test me too.” Mark chimes in, leaning forward. Both Jinyoung and JB look over to him surprised. He shrugs.

“Well, alright then.” The doctor replies. 

  
  


**Scene 2-**

 

As soon as they step out of the door, Jackson, Youngjae and Yugyeom are waiting for them in Bam Bam’s room. JB is the one to break the news.

“Kidney disease?” Bam Bam replies in shock. 

Jinyoung nods. 

“But there’s no need to worry as we caught it early,” JB tells him, grabbing his youngest into a hug, “thanks to Yugyeom telling us about your headaches.”

“You should have told us about them earlier Bam.” Jinyoung whispers, squeezing his eldests’ shoulder.

“It didn’t seem important.”

“ **You** are important.” JB warns. “Never say that.”

Bam Bam nods, head low. “Sorry.”

“You won’t need dialysis, you’ll only have to take some medication at home.” Jinyoung explains. 

“And your Dad and I are getting tested as donors,” JB continues, “just in case anything happens. We want to be prepared.”

Mark raises his hand from his corner of the room. “I’m getting tested too.”

Bam stares at him in surprise. “Why?”

Mark places his hands in his pockets and shrugs. “Cause you’re my nephew.”

“...but after everything I said to you…”

“You’re still my nephew.” Mark’s words are quieter, but the meaning is stronger and Bam is touched by that.

Jackson stares at them all from his seat on the couch and coughs. “What about us?”

Youngjae nods. “Yeah, can we get tested too?”

Jinyoung looks at the Doctor for guidance who stands at the edge of the room. He nods his head. “Yes, you can all get tested. It’s highly unnecessary, considering the patient has both of his parents-”

“But we want too.” Youngjae interjects.

“That way, you have a lot of back ups.” Jackson smirks, winking in Bam Bam’s direction. 

“What we’re saying is, there’s definitely no need to worry.” JB repeats, holding tight to his son. “We’re all here for you and we’ll get through this together.”

Bam Bam looks around the room and sees a bunch of warm comforting smiles directed back at him and finds that some of his apprehension falls away. It may not have been in the greatest of circumstances, but his family was altogether, united, and without any worries for the time being. It was the best sort of feeling.

 

**Scene 3-**

 

Jinyoung instructed that Yugyeom stay with Bam Bam as they all left to get their first lot of tests done and he trailed out after his husband, making himself last to shut the door. The others followed the doctor down the hall but Jinyoung grabbed JB’s arm to make him wait. JB turns, confused. 

“Can…” Jinyoung hesitates, “can we talk?”

JB looks between him and the others who are disappearing before looking back at his husband and nodding. Jinyoung nods back and, without letting go of his hand, leads JB aways down to a common area overlooking the reception downstairs. 

A lump of regret sticks in his throat as he tries to push out the words he has to say. “I’m sorry.”

JB leans over the rail where they’re standing. 

“I never should have tricked you and Mark into meeting each other, especially since you told me you would talk to him and that I should stay out of it. I’m so sorry.”

JB takes a deep breath before slumping a little further over the rail. He opens his mouth to give Jinyoung a soft reply. “I want to look on the bright side and admit that if you hadn’t done that, maybe we wouldn’t have talked, but I don’t want to look on the bright side right now.”

“No?”

“I’m so angry at you.”

Jinyoung’s heart pauses. “You are?” He shakes his head. “I mean, of course you are.”

“At both of you. And it’s all my fault.” 

Jinyoung is confused as JB’s words are angry but his voice is calm as he continues.

“I’m the one who told you to keep working with him even though I knew it would make me feel insecure.”

“I knew you’d feel that way, so I always told you what we were up too-”

“And that made me feel even worse.” JB tilts his head so he can look at his husband and, as a result, his voice gets clearer. “Do you think it made me feel better as a person that you felt the need to list out everything you did with my brother so I could be sure you weren’t cheating on me?”

Jinyoung blinks fast as he thinks about it. “No...probably not.”

“Knowing this didn’t change how much I trusted you, it changed how much I trusted my brother and that angered me and messed with my mind...I was so angry that I got scared...I didn’t know what I would do, what I would even say to him…and then you forced us together and I said all the wrong things. I didn’t get a chance to organise my thoughts.”

“I’m sorry-”

“But that’s just it, you shouldn’t be because you were only trying to help. See how my mind works?” He stands up straight and lightly hits the railing with his hand, swinging back and forth, exhaling air. “This is why I find it so hard to tell you things.”

Jinyoung fumbles with his hands before deciding to place them in his pockets for the time being. “...So, what do you want to do now?” he asks.

There’s a long silence as JB looks around the hospital. Before he can reply, they’re interrupted by a familiar voice.

“Hey.” Jinyoung turns around and sees Mark. He’s holding a cotton ball to his arm. “Sorry to interrupt, but the nurse is looking for you to take your blood for testing. She’s finished with us three already.”

“Oh…” Jinyoung looks around and sees that JB hasn’t moved. He hasn’t even looked in his brother’s direction. Before he can say anything himself however, Mark steps up from behind Jinyoung and goes to tap his brother on the shoulder. 

“JB, I know that we need to talk but after the blood test-” The punch to the face happens before he can finish. 

“JB!” Jinyoung shouts, helping to steady Mark before he falls. 

Mark doesn’t say anything for a while and when he regains his balance, he only touches his cheek tenderly to look up at his brother. 

“I wanted to do that.” He whispers, belatedly answering Jinyoung’s question.

Both JB and Jinyoung watch as Mark massages his jaw. 

“Thank you for bringing my son to the hospital.” JB states after a couple seconds have passed. 

“You’re welcome.” Mark answers, cordially.

JB nods for a while, before massaging his knuckles which look slightly red. “Then, I’ll be right back.” Without looking at either of them, he heads in the direction the others went and Jinyoung assumes he’s going to get tested. 

“I didn’t expect him to punch you out of the blue like that,” he mumbles.

Mark smiles, ironically. “Neither did I.”

“I should apologise to you too.”

“For what? Tricking me?” He shakes his head, while moving his jaw again. “I should have expected it as soon as you called me for anything in the first place. You’d been keeping your distance with me the entire week, why would you suddenly call me for an emergency?”

“You’re not mad?”

“No, I am mad and, if I’d had the space, I probably would have pulled a disappearing stunt just like my older brother did this afternoon but, as it has been pointed out to me, that would have been selfish and unhelpful. I need to see the big picture.”

“What?” Jinyoung asks.

“Jackson kissed me in the elevator.” He mutters to himself, laughing.

“He what?!” 

“Jealous?”

“I’ll punch you too if you don’t stop.”

Mark laughs some more before giving Jinyoung a good long look. It makes the recipient uncomfortable. 

“What?”

“I have to figure out if Youngjae was right…” he mumbles.

“Youngjae?”

“Go get tested. We’ll talk later.” Mark walks away before Jinyoung can say anything else.

 

**Scene 4-**

 

“I told you the headaches were a big deal.” Yugyeom teases, while avoiding Bam Bam’s strike to the head. 

“Yeah, I know. Thanks.”

“You should have just told me everything...you never tell me anything and then you end up taking it all on yourself and think you have stress headaches that turn out to be kidney disease.”

“Yugyeom-”

“You think I can’t handle it.” Yugyeom pouts, his voice monotone.

“What?”

“You and dad and everyone treat me like a baby-”

“You are the baby-”

“No, I’m not. I’m not a fucking baby.” Yugyeom stands and wanders the room ruffling his hair.

“Did you just curse?” Bam coughs, trying to hide a laugh.

Yugyeom turns back to him. “Yes.”

Bam Bam shakes his head. “Don’t ever do that again.”

“Shall I go get tested?” He suggests, heading towards the door. 

“No, Yugyeom, sit down, I don’t want your kidney! You’re only 16 years old.”

“And so are you.”

“Yeah but I don’t want yours okay. I don’t want anyone's. If this was an ideal world, I wouldn’t need five possible kidneys…” He sighs and reluctantly takes a new breath. “Sit back down.”

Yugyeom pouts for a second longer but, after a while, he sits back down on the bed. “So are you going to tell me or not?”

Bam stares at his little brother for a while before he flicks his head. “It’s a secret.”

“Bam Bam!”

“It’s over now anyway. Why tell you about problems that are being fixed only to make more problems.”

“You think I’m going to make more problems?”

Bam Bam shakes his head. “Look, think of it this way. If it would rehash everything that happened and they’d only feel worse that you were involved, would you still want me to tell you? Do you want to upset them?”

Yugyeom’s face falls when he hears this. “No.”

“Okay.” Bam tries to give his brother a comforting smile. “I am protecting you from the truth, but not just you. And this is the final time. If anything else happens, I promise to tell you everything. Okay?”

Yugyeom pouts again.

“I promise!” Bam repeats, smiling brighter, trying to recall his brother to his side. 

Yugyeom sighs, but ultimately nods his head in agreement. “Fine. If you don’t-”

“I will. I will.” He swings his brother’s arm like a child and Yugyeom shrugs him off playfully. 

Before Yugyeom can scold his brother anymore however, his phone rings. Looking over his shoulder, Bam Bam can see a picture of Kes on the screen.

“Oh it’s sister-in-law!” He shouts, resulting in a very hard slap to the head. 

“Shut. Up.” Yugyeom’s words are deadly and his eyes even more so until his answers the phone. Despite this Bam Bam grabs it and puts it on speaker immediately.

“Yugyeom?” Her soft voice comes out loudly as Yugyeom reaches for his older brother’s neck. “Her are you okay? I heard your brother got taken to the hospital.”

“I’m here!” Bam shouts before Yugyeom can wrestle him away.

“Oh, hey.” Her voice rises. “So you’re okay. I was worried.”

“He’s okay for now.” Yugyeom adds, speaking to her for the first time.

“That’s good. I wasn’t sure.” There’s a short pause before she says, “Shall I come to visit?”

“No!”

“Yes!”

 

**Scene 5-**

Jackson and Youngjae sit in a waiting room holding cotton balls to their arms as they wait to be called for another test. The doctor explained that not all the tests could be completed today but there were few they could get out of the way since they were all there. 

“So…” Youngjae muses. “You want to tell me what happened?”

Jackson shrugs. “A lot.”

“A lot?”

Jackson repositions himself in his seat. “It’s hard to talk about when you don’t know-”

“I do know.”

Jackson’s head jerks in Youngjae’s direction. “What?”

Youngjae nods. “Mark told me everything.”

“Mark told you? Everything?”

He nods again. “I can’t believe you and JB used to date in the past and I didn’t even pick up on it. “

Jackson scowls as if this offends him too. “It was a long time ago.”

“I’m still trying to wrap my head around it, but there seems to be a lot beneath the surface of everything those two have going on.”

“Those two?”

“JB and Mark. Their relationship is…”

“Shit?”

“Unhealthy.” Youngjae places his elbows on his knees. “I didn’t realise how much until today.”

Jackson stares at Youngjae’s pensive look and raises an eyebrow. “I feel like you have more to tell me than I have to tell you.”

“Do you see JB as a ‘perfect’ person?”

Jackson leans backwards in his chair. “How do you mean?”

“Mark said some things about his brother...never being a disappointment, or making a mistake...do you see him like that?”

Jackson shakes his head. “No.”

“Neither do I.”

“But I do look at him as someone who always has his shit together, because he does.”

“Exactly...but Mark has this unrealistic view of him…”

“That his brother can do no wrong and it irritates the hell out of him.”

Youngjae leans back with surprise on his face to look at Jackson. “Yeah.”

“He’s been that way since our college days. I could tell.” Jackson takes the cotton ball off of his arm to see that he’s stopped bleeding. 

Youngjae nods as he does the same. “It had something to do with their parents.”

“I guess so.”

“But I think how he feels about his brother has something to do with his feelings for Jinyoung.”

“That makes sense. Him wanting to sabotage his brother’s marriage, and somehow make it all JB’s fault, is obviously so he can feel better about himself and make his brother look imperfect all at the same time.”

Youngjae hopes Jackson’s words are full of sarcasm. “I don’t think it’s on purpose. Maybe he just doesn’t understand how he feels and it’s become a pattern. I mean...he liked you first right?”

“Yeah...but…”

“But...what?”

“I don’t think that can be factored into your theory. Mark had no idea I was dating his brother when he confessed to me...plus, he’d shown signs of liking me before that even happened.”

“Why didn’t you give him a chance then?”

Jackson shrugs. “He wasn’t my type and we were better off as friends.”

“And JB was your type?”

“Is.” After he says this, he looks around to make sure they weren’t overhead. “But don’t tell anyone I said that.”

Youngjae shakes his head again and sighs, closing his eyes. “This is so complicated.”

“Don’t you love being involved?” 

After a bit of silence, Youngjae pipes up again. “So what did JB say to you?”

Jackson sighs and clasps his hands together. “A lot of things. I think we should just be there for them and let them sort this out for themselves.”

“Was it really bad?”

“How long have you known JB?”

“Since we started working at the same company and I found out he knew Jinyoung....”

“Well... We need to be there for him no matter what happens.”

“Is something going to happen?”

“If he follows my advice, something has to happen. We just have to be there to pick up the pieces when it’s over.”

“Right.”

  
  



	30. Episode 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not 100% on kidney donors lads, so i may have bent some science but only for plot, i did 75% of the research, so if im wrong i apologise

**Scene 1-**

As JB and the others finish off their tests, hours pass and all too soon they find themselves heading into evening. Slowly they trickle in, one after the other, re-congregating in Bam Bam’s hospital room. Jinyoung is the last one to arrive back and the Doctor arrives right behind him.

“Thank you all so much for cooperating with us today. Doing a majority of the testing now, with you all here, has really sped up the process.”

They all nod, the parents offering a comforting squeeze to their son who lies in bed. 

“For now,” the Doctor continues, “we will keep the patient under surveillance for the night and if everything is alright tomorrow, we will provide prescriptions for medication and you can take him home.”

JB nods, “Thank you.”

The Doctor nods and vacates the room.

“Thank you to all of you.” JB adds. “Really.”

“What are we here for if not to sacrifice an organ or two for each other?” Jackson jokes, immediately causing him to be swatted on the shoulder by Youngjae. “I’ve been poked and prodded enough, do you really need to hit me?” he mumbles in response.

Jinyoung smiles at them before turning to JB. “We should go grab some stuff from home if he’s staying here tonight.”

“Can you go alone?” JB looks down. “There’s something I have to do.” His eyes flutter in Mark’s direction and Jinyoung follows the trail. His brother-in-law was in his token place, leaning against the wall, only now he had a bruise forming on his jaw that was very difficult to hide. 

“I mean I can-”

“I’ll go with you.” They both look up to see Jackson standing up from his seat. “Two hands are better than one, right?”

“Um…” Jinyoung nods reluctantly, “Ok then. Yeah.”

“And I’ll stay here with the boys.” Youngjae adds.

“You don’t have to do that-” JB starts but Youngjae shakes him head. 

“It’s not like I have anything to do, I’ll stay.”

“Are we heading off then?” Mark pipes up, having not heard all of the conversation. JB’s face turns emotionless when he hears his voice. 

“No.” He explains. “Not you.” Giving his oldest son a comforting smile, he steps away from the bed and makes his way towards the door. “Follow me out.” He orders. 

It takes his own brother a couple minutes to follow him.

 

**Scene 2-**

JB makes his way out of Bam Bam’s room without waiting to hear the tell tale footfalls of his brother’s feet; Mark knew he wanted to talk, he would follow. He only turns around when they both find themselves in the elevator.

Leaning against the back rail, JB watches as his brother skulks in behind him and turn to face the closing doors. Neither say a word, but JB watches as his brother once again massages the bruise on his chin. JB recalls how his knuckles burned after they collided with Mark’s jaw but he refuses to comment on it. 

The elevator door opens and JB walks out, heading past the reception in silence, making his way through the hospital front doors. The crisp night air hits him when he steps outside and he takes a hard left turn. 

“JB.” Mark calls from behind him, but he doesn’t offer a reply. There are some running steps. “JB, where are we going?”

There’s a garden to the left of the hospital, a place where patients would usually walk during the day time, but as the evening draws in it is mostly empty except for a few families and smokers lingering in select areas. JB keeps walking until he finds a secluded spot and, almost perfectly placed to be waiting for him, there’s a bench that he can sit on as he waits for his brother to join him. 

Mark remains standing. “Did you really have to come all the way out here to talk to me?”

JB nods. 

“You aren’t going to punch me again are you?”

JB shakes his head ‘no’.

Mark nods beginning to ruffle his hair, a pained look on his face. JB clears his throat before his sibling gets too panicked. 

“How does this usually go?” He asks rhetorically while looking to the side and stretching out his arms. “Neither of us speak for ages until someone, me, plucks up the courage to say something and smooth things over.”

Mark stares at him silently. 

“And I...appease you; whatever I think you need or want.” His eyes flit to Mark’s, dark and holding a serious edge all their own. “That stops now.”

Mark gulps and raises an eyebrow. “Does it?”

“It does.” JB sits up and raises his elbows to his knees to lean over, not breaking eye contact. “And I start off by telling you to keep your hands off of Jinyoung.”

“What?”

“As your brother, you working with him, I can accept that. You and him have a common goal and I wouldn’t change that, but as his husband, from here on out, if you make any moves towards him, I won’t sit still.”

“JB-”

“If you guilt him into anything, confuse him in anyway, a punch to the jaw is the least of your worries.”

“So, we’re resorting to violence now,” Mark sighs.

JB shakes his head. “No, but you deserved that punch. I’m beyond tired of you.”

“Tired of me?” Mark walks away towards the bench, trying not to laugh. “What about me makes you tired?”

“How you’ve treated me the past couple years. You constantly taking me for granted; You taking my kindness for granted. I’ve excused you from so much and for what? You’ve never treated me any differently.”

“And how do you want me to treat you?”

“Like a brother; like family.”

“We haven’t been brothers for a long time.”

JB’s eyebrows bend. “What? What are you talking about?”

“You’ve been my guardian for far too long, and a dad even after that. Whoever my brother is, you’re not him.” Mark points at JB’s seat on the bench. “Look at you lording over me right now. Is that something a brother does?”

JB gets up, outraged. “Mark!”

“And not only that, but you’re constantly shoving your overbearing success story in my face all the time! Who needs that?”

“I’m not lording over you with anything- I don’t have an overbearing...success-”

Mark steps forward, words peremptory. “Funding me through school? Getting your own scholarship? Getting a job, starting a business, getting me a house, jump starting my career-”

  
“Mark-”

“Giving up your own dreams so I could follow mine! I never asked you to do any of those things!”

JB stares at Mark in shock and confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“With all your talent and all your skills, you could have been an idol, you know that. If mom and dad hadn’t died you would be one of the greatest performers this country has ever seen! I know it, you know it, mom and dad knew it-”

“Stop-”

“But instead of doing that you’ve taken over as this figure I never needed!” 

JB slams his chest with his hand. “You didn’t need me?!”

“No!”

“You could have done everything I’ve done yourself?!”

Mark lets out a hiss. “You made it look so easy, why couldn’t I?”

“You think what I did for us was easy?!!”

Mark steps closer to his older brother. “Even if it wasn’t, perfection must run in the family; I would have picked it up at some point. Whether it was looking like a good kid to our external family or acting like the death of our parents didn’t phase me at all, I could have done it.”

“Hey!” JB, too angry to think straight, grabs Mark by the collar.

“When did you mourn for them, huh? When did you show an ounce of sadness or struggle after they died?”

“All the time!”

“Then you should have showed it to me!”

JB pauses, shocked out of his anger by Mark’s last words. 

“We should have mourned for them together.” Mark’s voice shakes, and JB looks up in time to see his little brother wipe away a stray tear. “We should have struggled together and we should have succeeded together.”

“I couldn’t show you.” JB explains, “I didn’t want you to feel like I couldn’t take care of us. I’m the older brother.”

Mark grabs JB by the arm and pulls him close but not maliciously. “Yes. You’re my brother. I want a brother.” He looks down as he finds the right words to say. “I want a brother that shows me how he feels. A brother that gets angry and makes mistakes. A brother who shares his troubles and his worries, one that doesn’t just show his success but his failures too. Someone I can fight with, even if it’s over partners, without him sacrificing his own feelings and making me feel like shit.” Mark sighs and loosens his hold. “Jesus, JB you’re too kind for your own good.”

JB’s voice is practically a whisper at this point. “What?”

“Treat me like an asshole sometimes. I can admit that I am one, but most of the time, if I think about it, it’s to get a rise out of you. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know if half my feelings are real or if I’m out to get you...I haven’t quite figured it out.”

“Mark…”

Mark takes a deep breath and grabs JB by the shoulder, attempting a sad smile.  “In fact I want you too. At least it gives me a break.”

Now JB was really confused. 

“Everything you’ve done for me; the way you looked after me all these years… thank you...thank you so much, but you can stop now.”

“But, I-”

“Protect Jinyoung. If you don’t trust me, call me out. If you do trust me, hold me to it, just do something. I can’t even trust myself so if we fight, we fight. At least we’d be doing something that brother’s do and I’d finally feel...better.”

JB looks Mark up and down, still trying to process everything. “But if we do...you’re not...you’re not going to leave again are you?” Before Mark can answer, JB grabs hold of Mark’s shoulder so they’re holding tightly to each other. “Because I can’t take you leaving again.”

“JB you can’t live in fear of what me, or anyone might do, if we have an argument. Stop trying to keep the peace and accept that peace isn’t always possible. There’s a storm and there’s a calm sky until the next storm happens. That’s what family is.”

“But you won’t leave again right?”

Mark smiles brighter, helping JB have some faith in him. “No, I’m not going anywhere. I’ve already promised.”

JB arches an eyebrow and then laughs. “Jackson.”

Letting go of each other after an emotional, but cathartic conversation, JB smooths out his shirt. After a short silence, he risks asking another question. “Did...did I steal him from you?”

“Yes, but I let you have him because he made you happy. That’s why I went to Italy.”

JB nods, rubbing his neck, apologetic. “I’m sorry.”

“Well it’s over now, I’ve moved on.”

JB rolls his eyes. “Yeah, you have.”  

Mark’s voice grows soft. “...I’ll let him go, JB.”

“But...you still care about him.”

“I’ll get over it. I got over Jackson didn’t I?” Mark smiles and pulls JB into a hug. “I don’t want you to feel threatened by me or my temperamental chaotic feelings. Clean slate, okay?”

JB tightens his arms around Mark and hugs him back, finally able to bring himself to smile.

“Okay.”

The hug is interrupted by JB’s phone ringing and he pulls away to bring it out of his pocket.

“Hello? Im Jaebum?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, hi. This is your son’s Doctor. Are you still near the hospital? We should talk.”

 

**Scene 3-**

Jackson and Jinyoung sit in silence listening to the radio. Youngjae’s voice serenades them as they make their way across town back to the house; it was one of JB’s hit songs.

“How do you think it’s going?” Jinyoung asks after a while. 

Jackson turns to him. “With what?”

Jinyoung signals to turn while giving Jackson a disapproving look. “What do you mean what? With JB and Mark.”

Jackson shrugs. “Hopefully a fight. If it’s anything less, it’ll just get worse.”

“Thanks for that.”

“I’m just telling the truth.”

Jinyoung shakes his head, a strand of hair falling in his eye. “JB doesn’t like conflict.”

“And yet you give him so much of it.”

Jinyoung screeches to a halt and Jackson flies forward, only to have Jinyoung’s hand reach out to protect him; some idiot driver had stopped short ahead of them. 

“I didn’t do that on purpose,” he grumbles, “but you need to watch your mouth.”

“My point is, in the life he’s living he needs to be more comfortable with conflict.”

“No he doesn’t.”

“You’ll fight with him again.”

“No I won’t.”

“Yes you will.”

Jinyoung is adamant. “No, I won’t.”

“You will because you’re that type of person at heart. Youngjae says so.”

Jinyoung curses his best friend in the quiet reserves of his mind. “That’s in the past.”

Jackson nods but doesn’t quite believe him. Turning onto Jinyoung and JB’s road, Jackson feels his phone vibrating in his pocket. Pulling it out, he answers to a number he doesn’t recognise.

“Hello?”

“Is this Jackson Wang?”

“Yes, hello?”

“This is the defence department in charge of your case.”

Jackson sits up in his seat and Jinyoung stares at him out of the corner of his eye. “Yes.”

“We just wanted to inform you that we’ve retrieved all the evidence provided and have indicted and arrested the accused.”

“Oh my god.” Jackson whispers.

“She’ll have a proper hearing in about a month’s time but until then she will be incarcerated while also receiving a psychological assessment and any further help she may need.” There’s a pause and the sound of paper shuffling around. “I was also told to inform you that, in regards to the reputation of a certain LW Industries, we will be happy to cooperate with a public statement to explain the events that took place involving Mr. Choi and yourself.”

“Thank you… Thank you so much.” Jackson replies.

“We will be in touch.” The voice says and then the call is over

Jinyoung is parking in front of the house when Jackson put his phone back in his pocket.

“What was all that about?”

“Raven.”

“Oh?” Jinyoung turns off the engine and turns, giving Jackson his full attention. 

“She’s been arrested. She’s going to have a formal hearing but...I’m officially cleared. The police can provide us with a statement and everything.”

“Oh my god.” A small smile grows on Jinyoung’s lips.

“I can finally get us out of this mess.” Jackson whispers. He looks up, eyes bright. “We can tell JB when we get back.”

Jinyoung nods, smirking and flipping his keys. “He’ll be happy.”

 

**Scene 4-**

JB makes his way to the Doctor’s office alone; Mark was tired and decided to meet up with them tomorrow when Bam Bam was discharged. JB couldn’t blame him; he’d had blood taken, tests done along with a punch to the face, so he made his way alone.

He passes the reception on the fourth floor, finds the Doctor’s office and knocks on the door. 

“Come in.” Comes a voice and JB opens the door to let himself in. The Doctor smiles at him and points to a seat on the opposite side of his desk. “Please, sit.”

JB awkwardly makes his way to the chair and sits down. “What’s this about?”

“Well, I wanted to ask some questions if that’s alright.”

“Of course. About Bam Bam?” JB feels something moving around in his stomach; he isn’t sure if it’s the fact he hadn’t eaten all day or it was just anxious adolescent butterflies. 

“Yes, well. Some test results have become available to me and I thought I’d call you back to check some things out.”

JB smiles and nods. “Right.”

The Doctor touches his mouse and makes a few clicks on his computer. “You gave birth to Bam Bam is that correct?”

“Yep, that’s right. Him and Yugyeom both.” He laughs. 

“How old is he?”

“16. They’re both 16 actually. We had kids quite close together but Bam is the oldest…”

“Right, well.” The Doctor clasps his hands together and clears his throat, slowly turning away from his computer monitor.

“Is something wrong? Did you not find a match?”

“I did find matches, two in fact. Two possible donors...it’s just…”

JB feels like he’s holding his breath and the room is getting smaller. He fidgets but he doesn’t know why; the Doctor seems anxious himself and the condition seemed to be catching.

The Doctor takes a deep breath. “The thing is, that neither you or your husband are possible donors.”

“OK.” JB nods. “Well that’s alright as you said you’d found two.”

“Yes but, I don’t think you understand.” The Doctor taps his wrists against the table. “A parent has to be a possible donor. That’s how it works...and neither of you matched.”

“Okay.” JB still wasn’t following, but the possible butterflies in his stomach became two times stronger.  

“Did you adopt or marry your current husband after another marriage?”

“No.”

The doctor huffs, “Well then, I don’t have any other way to explain the results I have here in front of me.” 

JB is silent for a second trying not to let anxiety invade his thoughts. At some point he forms a question. “Who are the matches?.”

“One is your brother, which makes sense, as he is directly related to you. We’ll have to see if he has a chance of contracting the disease first before we go any further but the other match is your friend, Jackson Wang.”

“Right then, what’s the problem?”

“He’s more than just a kidney match JB.”

JB’s eyebrows furrow in continued confusion. 

“He’s a DNA match.”

“What?”

“As in, either he’s a long lost relative or...the biological father of your eldest son.”

There’s an even longer silence and JB isn’t sure he’s heard what the Doctor said correctly. “He can’t be. You have to be wrong.”

The Doctor shakes his head and turns the monitor so that JB can see it. He highlights a percentage that read 94.5%. Next to the number is Jackson’s name.

“I’m sorry but the science doesn’t lie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😅😅 
> 
> Edit** apparently there's some confusion, so I'll just put it here, the doctor is suggesting that bam bam is Jackbum's child. I'm sorry if that's not clear


	31. Episode 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your comments! I actually kind of felt like an evil mastermind as I've been planning that for weeks. I feel a bit guilty though because the story is kind of going to end soon...like really soon. I thought I'd give you a warning.

**Scene 1-**

 

JB stares at the Doctor’s monitor for another few minutes before he gets up from his seat. His hands are clammy and his breath is coming fast but he forces himself to speak. 

“Thank you for showing me this.”

The Doctor himself looks uncomfortable. “I was legally obligated too.”

“I will-”

“You don’t have to decide anything now. Things can still go as planned-”

“Yes.” JB nods. “Thank you for this. I’m glad that we found a match and that Bam Bam is going to be okay.”

The Doctor stands up, looking guilty now. “I’m sorry to just spring this on you.”

JB shakes his head, his breath becoming more ragged.

“I  won’t be telling anyone else. I’m not legally allowed too, if that helps.”

“It does. Thank you.” JB nods one more time before reaching behind him for the door. He gives the Doctor a cordial smile and turns the door handle. 

Finally stepping out of the office, his stomach begins to heave as he tries to avoid running to the bathroom; there were too many people for that. When he makes it there, he locks himself in a stall and begins to throw up in the bathroom toilet.

JB had married Jinyoung. Bam Bam was Jinyoung’s son and Jinyoung was the best father. He cared so much and did so much and they were perfect. JB couldn’t wrap his mind around anything the Doctor had shown him because he had to be wrong. Science couldn’t be wrong but Jinyoung was Bam Bam’s father; he’d been Bam Bam’s father for sixteen years. There was no way that Bam Bam...was…was...

He sat up from the toilet and felt his mind spiralling. He couldn’t say it. He could barely think it but the thought refused to eliminate itself from his mind. Jackson couldn’t be Bam Bam’s father. JB hadn’t been near Jackson in years, decades. Not to mention that it was impossible but it also sounded ridiculous. Jackson didn’t like kids. Sure he was good with them and knew what to do but kids but the only kids he interacted with were JB’s own and that was because they were JB’s kids. They were  **his and Jinyoung’s** kids. JB put his head in his hands and felt his stomach heave for the third time. Bam Bam couldn’t be Jackson’s, he just couldn’t. 

What was he going to do? He couldn’t think straight. Jinyoung had only left to find clothes for Bam Bam. He’d be back any minute - Jackson with him - and when that happened...what was he going to do? 

 

**Scene 2 -**

 

**_Youngjae was twiddling with his phone when he got the text. Bam and Yugyeom had fallen asleep watching some movie on the tv, so it was just him and silence when he saw a message from Jackson. She’s in jail, it said, We’re both free. He wanted to jump up and shout for joy, but he remembered the two sleeping in the corner. Instead he silently made his way out of the room, shut the door, and ran to the elevator while calling Jackson on the phone._ **

**_“She’s gone?” he asked._ **

**_Jackson’s voice was the happiest he’d ever heard it. “Yes. Gone for good.”_ **

**_“YES!” Youngjae didn’t realise how big a weight he had lying on his chest until that moment. Things were getting better. “I’m going to tell JB right now.”_ **

**_“Wait until I get there!”_ **

**_“But I’m already in the elevator.” Youngjae admitted, having already pressed the button to the fourth floor._ **

**_“We’re pulling up to the hospital parking lot in five minutes, can’t you just-”_ **

**_“I want to apologise to him. I want to make his day.”_ **

**_“You think I don’t want to do that?”_ **

**_Younjae stepped out of the elevator and stepped over to the reception desk. “You can do that when you get here, but let me do this; it’s my fault.”_ **

**_“Youngjae-”_ **

**_“See you soon.” And just as an added measure, he kissed the phone before hanging up. He would hear it from Jackson later but he wasn’t going to wait. JB had been under so much stress lately and it had been mostly his fault. He wanted to fix it as soon as possible and make everything okay again._ **

**_Stepping up to the reception desk, he asked for Bam Bam’s doctor’s office and was directed down the hall; before he left, Mark had stopped by the room to say goodbye and said JB had gone to talk to the doctor, so walking quickly he made his way to the room. Coming in sight of the door, he barreled towards it, his face positively beaming, hoping to catch JB on his way out when he heard the two voices._ **

**_“Did you not find a match?” That voice was JB._ **

**_“I did find matches, two in fact.” Hearing the doctor’s voice as well, and with such good news, Youngjae let out an enthusiastic fist pump, nearly smacking his knuckles into the wall...only, the Doctor drifted off after that._ **

**_“Two possible donors…” There was a short pause, where Youngjae leaned his ear closer to the door. “The thing is, that neither you or your husband are possible donors.”_ **

**_“OK, well that’s alright as you said you’d found two.”_ **

**_“Yes but, I don’t think you understand. A parent has to be a possible donor. That’s how it works...and neither of you matched.”_ **

**_“Okay.”_ **

**_Youngjae couldn’t follow this line of reasoning and it seemed like JB couldn’t either._ **

**_“Did you adopt or marry your current husband after another marriage?”_ **

**_“No.”_ **

**_The Doctor huffs, “Well then, I don’t have any other way to explain the results I have here in front of me.”_ **

**_There's silence for a second and Youngjae finds himself aching to know what’s going on. At some point, JB asks another question, only his voice is quieter than before.  “Who are the matches?.”_ **

**_“One is your brother, which makes sense, as he is directly related to you. We’ll have to see if he has a chance of contracting the disease first before we go any further but the other match is your friend, Jackson Wang.”_ **

**_‘Jackson was a match?’ Youngjae thought to himself. ‘Wow.’ He’d lord that over everyone's head for years._ **

**_“Right then, what’s the problem?”_ **

**_‘Yeah, what was the problem?’ Youngjae thought along with him, eyebrow raised. It seemed like everything was fine._ **

**_“He’s more than just a kidney match JB.” The Doctor explained._ **

**_There’s another silence._ **

**_“He’s a DNA match.”_ **

**_“What?”_ **

**_“As in, either he’s a long lost relative or...the biological father of your eldest son.”_ **

**_Youngjae’s hand goes to cover his mouth faster than he can think and his eyes felt like they were about to pop out of their sockets._ **

**_JB’s voice is stronger though the door. “He can’t be. You have to be wrong.”_ **

**_Youngjae’s breathing is palpable after the Doctor’s next words. “I’m sorry but the science doesn’t lie.”_ **

**_He wasn’t supposed to hear that. He wasn’t supposed to know that but now he knew. He backed away from the door as fast as he could and flew around the corner, and it was a good thing he did because JB barreled out of the office and headed down the corridor straight past him. He looked pale and he made a right turn straight into the men’s bathroom._ **

**_Youngjae’s mind took a turn. He’d only just found out that JB and Jackson used to date, but now this? Bam Bam was… Bam Bam was… It didn’t make sense. JB was the most loyal human he’d ever met and now… Youngjae swallowed the bile and lay at the back of his throat and tried to think. What should he do? Should he pretend he didn’t know? For the sake of everyone, should he pretend to be none the wiser and let them figure it out on their own? He shook his head. He couldn’t do that, too many people were involved. Jackson and Jinyoung...everything was already lying on a razors’ edge and when this news came out,_ ** **_if_ ** **_this news came out, every relationship might finally be cut off from it’s roots and JB… Youngjae stared at the bathroom door. He couldn’t even imagine what JB was thinking. He’d had a hell of a day and to have this added on top of it… Youngjae had said he’d be there for him. Jackson wasn’t there to do that...and he’d be back any minute and JB would be forced to make a choice. If he didn’t tell Jinyoung… That thought alone made Youngjae march straight into the bathroom._ **

**_The sound of retching met him on the inside. Only one of the stalls were locked and he knew that inside it held JB. A sharp thud hit the door. ‘That’ he thought, ‘would be JB’s head.’_ **

**_Youngjae milled about for a second, trying to find something to fill the silence but the only thing he found were four little words. “Hey, JB. It’s me.”_ **

 

**Scene 3-**

 

JB looks up at the stall he sits in and feels it get smaller and smaller. Somewhere along the line he’d made a mistake but he couldn’t figure out where, only he had to figure it out soon or the world he had just managed to sew up would only unravel again. He hits his head against the stall door, shutting his eyes when he hears a voice that isn’t his own.

“Hey, JB. It’s me.”

He hadn’t heard anyone come in, but there they were and they could probably see his butt sitting on the bathroom floor. Only a second later does he realise he recognises the voice... 

“Youngjae?” He stands up in alarm and unlocks the door. 

Youngjae looks up at him, his eyes flighty and restless.

JB tries his best to sound put together. “What’s going on?”

Youngjae looks around for a bit before taking a deep breath. “I may have heard what the doctor said.”

All of JB’s strength left through the floor when he heard that. He nods and looks over to the sinks, walks over to them and starting to wash his face. Youngjae stays silent behind him. The pressure of his gaze makes JB stay hunched over for longer than necessary. Then he finally stands up.

“You have to tell Jinyoung.”

“Was I not going to tell him?” JB defends, turning around. “Did you think I wasn’t going to tell him?”

“I don’t know what you were planning to do, but I know the easiest option would be not to tell him.”

JB’s eyes look to the ceiling for a second. “You’re on his side.”

“I’m not on anyone's side, but you cheated on my best friend and it might have occurred to you-”

“I didn’t cheat on him!”

“Bam Bam isn’t his son! How do you think that means you didn’t cheat on him!?”

“BECAUSE I DIDN’T!” JB proceeds to slam his hand into the wall. 

There’s a silence between them.

“What are you going to tell Jackson?” Youngjae starts again.

JB huffs, “Can’t you tell I haven’t figured that out yet?”

“Well, they’re going to be here any minute. Jackson just told me because Raven is being arrested and that’s what I came to tell you.”

“She’s what?”

“Being arrested.”

“Who?”

“Raven.”

JB nodded. “Oh.”

There’s another long silence before JB says, “That’s good.”

“JB, I’m serious.” Youngjae steps forward shaking his head, “What are you going to tell them?” A phone starts ringing before JB can answer. Youngjae checks his pocket but it isn’t his. JB feels his phone vibrating but can’t bring himself to take it out. Youngjae has to push him before he does so.

Looking at the screen he sees Jackson’s number and finds his heart hammering hard in his chest.

“Answer it.” Youngjae orders.

JB slides across the answer button and raises the phone to his ear.

“JB?” It’s Jackson’s voice against a windy backdrop.

“Jackson.” JB replies, trying to keep his voice steady. 

“Did Youngjae already tell you? I’m going to kick his ass if he told you without me. I was literally five minutes away from the parking lot.”

“Oh...yeah.” Is his slow reply.

“Dammit. He told him.” His voice flies away from the phone for a second.

“Is he happy?” Comes the whisper of another; JB knows it’s Jinyoung.

“Are you happy?” Jackson asks, bringing his mouth back to the phone. 

JB takes a deep breath and tries to sound happy. “Yes, I’m very happy.”

Jackson, gratefully, sounds relieved. “Good. I’m sorry it took so long. I’m sorry we got into this mess.”

“Don’t apologise.”

“And don’t blame Youngjae okay, it’s not his fault. He didn’t know what kind of woman she was and I...I had my own issues but it’s fixed now. We can get everything back on track. It’s one less thing for you to worry about.”

JB nods. “Yeah.”

“We’re back at the hospital, about to head into Bam’s room, where are you?”

JB looks at Youngjae who hasn’t moved. “I’m just in the bathroom.”

“Ah ok. We’ll see you there in a sec then.”

“See you in a sec.” JB hangs up and then places his phone on the counter near the sink. He and Youngjae both stare at it.

“Do you want me to tell Jackson?”

“What sense would that make?”

“It’s going to be hard to tell the story twice and I assume you don’t want them in the same room when you tell them, or that you would tell them at the same time-”

“Youngjae, why do I have to tell them at all? Didn’t you say it would be easier if I said nothing?”

“They deserve to know-”

“Know what?”

“The truth!”

“That Bam Bam-” JB cuts himself off, throat tightening.

Youngjae finishes his sentence for him. “Is Jackson’s,” Youngjae steps closer to JB, “why can’t you say it?”

“Because it’s not true.”

“Science doesn’t lie!”

“Youngjae!”

“Don’t you think Jinyoung is going to think it’s weird that neither of you are kidney donor matches for your own son? He’s not stupid you know.”

JB places his hands over his face and falls against the wall.

Seeing this, Youngjae backs off a little bit with his next words. “I know it’s hard to admit that you made a mistake-”

“But I didn’t Youngjae.” JB whispers from behind his hands.

“JB-”

“I didn’t, I swear.” His hands fall away revealing tired eyes. “I raised Bam Bam with Jinyoung because I fully thought that Bam Bam was his. Jackson and I have never gotten back together, not even once.”

“Are you sure?”

“Why wouldn’t I be sure?”

“Because...I don’t know.” 

JB’s eyes are sincere. “Jinyoung and I are forever. We’re endgame. If I tell him about this, he’ll leave me, you know that.”

“It doesn’t change the fact that the truth is the truth. I’m sorry.”

“God, you are no help at all!”

Hearing that, Youngjae grabs JB by the collar. “Help in this situation is near impossible but at least I’m here. Would you rather be here by yourself?”

JB stares at his friend and ultimately shakes his head. 

“Then get your head around the fact that you need to tell them. If you don’t tell Jinyoung, I will.” And with that, he lets JB go. 

“Youngjae!”

But Youngjae was already making his way out of the bathroom, leaving an emotionally weighed down JB behind him. 

 

**Scene 4 -**

 

JB made his way down the hall to the elevator a couple minutes later. Youngjae wasn’t there so he waited at the elevator doors alone but he couldn’t press the button. He had to figure this out first.

How could Bam Bam be Jackson’s? It didn’t make any sense. Dragging his mind back to sixteen years previous, he remembered Jackson and him fighting to keep their friendship alive while he prepared to get married to Jinyoung. There wasn’t any romance. 

Shaking his head, he feels defeated and lifts his hand to press the down button...but then something hits him. A memory...and he nearly falls over from the thought. 

**_Two Days._ ** Two days before the wedding, Jinyoung had called it off. JB’s heart clenched at the memory of the worst fight they’d ever had. 

“ **_Do you not want to be with me anymore?” Jinyoung yelled at the top of his lungs, their old apartment room shaking._ **

**_“Jinyoung-”_ **

**_“Cause it sure as hell seems that way!”_ **

**_JB was trying to calm him down but he only continued to get more worked up and JB couldn’t figure out why. “Jinyoung,” he tried again. “I want to marry you.”_ **

**_“Do you really? Then why can’t you look at me?” Jinyoung stepped closer to JB just to prove that his significant other was avoiding his eyes. “Whenever we’re in front of your friends you can’t even touch me! Is our relationship some sort of secret and I just didn’t know?”_ **

**_“No!”_ **

**_“I wouldn’t care so much if it was just in public but when we’re at home you still can’t look at me! I can’t even kiss you without you walking away! Is this some sort of sign?”_ **

**_JB stepped away, trying to keep balance in the conversation. “It’s not that I can’t look at you-”_** **_Jinyoung grabbed JB by the arm and pulled him in for a kiss but JB pushed him away. “Jinyoung-”_**

**_“There.”_ **

**_“We’re in the middle of an argument!”_ **

**_“Who the fuck cares about wether we’re in the middle of an argument or not!”_ **

**_JB stared at Jinyoung with utter disbelief. “Did you really think I’d just let you have your way with me just so you’d have the reassurance you need to get married to me? Are you insane?”_ **

**_“You know what I think?”_ **

**_JB was beyond pissed off at this point. “What?”_ **

**_“I think you don’t have the balls to break it off yourself so you want me to do it for you.”_ **

**_JB was horrified. “No. No! That’s not what this is!”_ **

**_Jinyoung seemingly didn’t hear a word he said. “And you know what, fine, you have your wish. Wedding’s off.”_ **

**_Before JB’s eyes, Jinyoung grabbed his bag and headed out of the bedroom like he had a million times before but this time it didn’t look like he was coming back._ **

**_JB chased after him. “Jinyoung!” But he wasn’t turning around. “Jinyoung!” But the front door slammed into his face and his heart burst with it._ **

_**“Jesus Christ Jinyoung, I love you!” He shouted at it, but there was no reply. “I want to marry you-”** _

**_After that, what did he do? He stood there in shock for the longest time. He couldn’t believe what had just happened. Then he opened the door. He looked around town for him; every place he thought he’d go, but never found him. He couldn’t breathe by the time he circled back to his neighborhood. It was past midnight but he couldn’t go home. Not when tears were about to burst from his eyes and his entire body felt like it would collapse and never get back up again...so he walked. He walked and walked until he got to a familiar street. He walked into a familiar building and climbed up familiar stairs, though at the time he barely looked at them. He pounded on the door he knew would open, and when it did, he collapsed into his best friends arms and sobbed._ **

**_“JB?”_ **

**_“He doesn’t want to marry me.” He cried into Jackson’s shoulder. “I messed up. He’s gone.”_ **

**_A hand led him inside and placed him on a couch. As bad as it was, Jackson took care of him that night. He made him stop crying, he brought him three cups of water. He told him that everything was going to be alright._ **

**_“How is it going to be alright?” He asked._ **

**_“Because I’m here.”_ **

**_“You’re here?”_ **

**_“I’m here for you. Forever.”_ **

**_And then they kissed._ **

Standing at the elevator doors, he couldn’t remember who kissed who, but something had happened. The thought alone made JB’s heart rip open...because even though they were broken up, Jinyoung and him still got married two days later. 

The elevator dings without him pressing anything and he jumps back from the sound. His stomach drops when the door opens because who else steps out from within them but a smiling, totally unaware, Jinyoung. 

“Hey. What are you still doing up here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The whole situation is just giving me serious anxiety.


	32. Episode 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ❤❤❤

**Scene 1-**

 

Jinyoung steps straight out of the elevator and sees JB, and the face of his husband meeting him makes him smile. 

"Hey." He steps out and JB steps backwards with him. "Where have you been?"

"Bathroom."

Jinyoung nods, now noticing that JB is looking a bit off colour. "You feeling okay?" He asks.

JB nods. "Yeah. I’ m just...a little tired."

Jinyoung can believe him and reaches out to surround him in a hug. "I can imagine."

There's a stiffness to JB as he hugs back and Jinyoung rubs his back in continuous circles when he pulls away.

"I know you've had a long day but I should warn you that Jackson is about to explode up here." Jinyoung thinks this will get a smile out of JB but it doesn't; he still looks pretty grave. So he tries again. "Did you and Mark make up?

JB nods, rubbing his eyes. "You could say so."

Jinyoung stares at JB for a while and moves his hand up to stroke the nape of his neck where his hair starts. "I am really sorry about that."

"Don't apologize." JB takes Jinyoung’s hand from his neck and holds it. He attempts a tired smile. "Some things came into the open that I would have never known otherwise, so I guess...." He drifts off and Jinyoung squeezes his hand comfortingly, understanding.

“Positive spin.”

“Yeah.”

"So…” Jinyoung reaches up to move some of JB’s hair, trying to get him to look at him. “did you talk to the doctor?"

The elevator dings before JB can formulate and answer. Jackson bounds out, head looking in all directions until he sees the both of them standing not to far away.

"I thought you were bringing him downstairs, not talking amongst yourselves." He mumbles, sounding annoyed but coming over quickly anyway. "Bam Bam wants you Jinyoung."

Jinyoung stares at him. "I was just down there."

"Well, he wants you again...for something." Jackson makes a pointed look in Jinyoung's direction and taps his foot for good measure. Jinyoung knows he wants to talk to JB on his own and he knows it’s because he wants his chance to apologise and talk to JB about good things but...he just doesn't want to leave JB right now. Even so, he feels like it’ll be safer to appease Jackson for the time being, so he makes a show of checking his pockets. 

"Oh right. I must have forgotten to give him his rings. He said he didn't want to look different just because he was coming out of the hospital." He squeezes JB's hand one more time before letting go. "He gets his fashionista side from you." Smiling one last time, he heads over to the elevator and presses the button.

 

**Scene 2**

 

Jackson messes with his hair while waiting to hear the ding of the elevator close. When it finally does he takes a deep breath and bows his head to JB.

"Jackson, what are you-"

"I'm sorry about all the trouble I've caused."

"You don't have to do this."

"Yes I do. If I'd dealt with Raven properly in the first place, none of this would have happened so I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." His apology is sincere, but from where he is, Jackson can hear JB’s footsteps drawing away. He looks up, confused. "Hey," he calls out, slowly following after him. When JB doesn't stop, he starts to run, grabbing his friend's elbow before he can exit the empty hallway. "Hey,” he tries again, “what's wrong?"

JB's eyes are closed and he looks pained, manifesting more worry in Jackson's face. "Hey, talk to me. Did something happen with Mark?"

JB shakes his head before letting it drop, hair falling forward and covering his face. 

"You're worrying me, Jaebum." The stern edge in Jackson's voice is what makes JB tilt his head up. 

"I have to tell you something, but I don't know how."

Jackson's eyebrows furrow. "You can tell me anything, you know that."

JB takes a deep breath and then slowly let's it out again. There’s a long pause between them as Jackson waits for whatever it is JB has to say. Finally, his friend lifts his head so that he's looking Jackson straight in the eye. 

"You are a...direct kidney match to my son, Bam Bam."

Jackson is quiet for a second before letting out a gust of air and nervous laughter. "Is that all? I thought something else happened." He slaps JB's arm. "I did take the test you know. I expected one of two results to happen."

Despite this release, Jackson notices that JB's face hasn't changed. 

"Are you worried I'll need surgery?" He asks next. "I knew what I signed up for. I'd do anything for you guys, you know that."

JB shakes his head, now allowing it to become one with the wall, his hair splitting apart, allowing Jackson a fuller view of his friends face. 

"Jaebum, what's wrong?"

"You're a direct kidney match."

"Yeah I know-"

"No," JB shakes his head. "You don't know. You don't understand what that means."

Jackson's eyebrows knit together as he waits expectantly for JB to provide the answer.

"It means..." He breathes, words heavy, "that you share DNA."

Jackson's mind is blank. 

"It means you share DNA with my son, Bam Bam."

Just like JB before him, Jackson bypasses connecting the dots for a straight answer. "What are you talking about? What does that mean?"

JB pushes himself to standing, his hands balled into fists. 

"It means that Bam Bam...is our son. Yours...and mine. Not mine and Jinyoung's."

 

**Scene 3**

 

After he says it, JB's eyes search Jackson's face for a reaction. At first there doesn't seem to be one, but as seconds pass, JB can see Jackson's jaw clench and his shoulder rising and falling faster as he's trying to breathe. He avoids looking into JB's eyes. 

"He's sixteen years old."

"Yes."

"It's been sixteen years."

JB tries to steel himself for the memories he's about to bring back. "It happened before we-" but Jackson stops him. 

"I know when it happened."

JB is surprised by this. "You do?"

Jackson nods. "I know exactly when it happened."

It was the day all hope of him and JB getting back together died.

 

**Scene 4**

 

**_Jackson woke up with warmth over his chest. Opening his eyes, he looked down and saw an arm outstretched over him. He turned to the side and saw JB's sleeping face and the sight was positively beautiful. Looking at him, there was so much to appreciate._ **

**_JB's hair fell across the pillow he was barely laying on, allowing his face to be in full view. His eyes were closed and peaceful, the moles above his right eye hidden away, but Jackson only had to imagine that they were there. His mouth lay in a neat line and he looked softer than he looked at any other time...maybe not when he was laughing though, that won._ **

**_Light poured in through the curtains and it managed to shine on JB's face. Carefully sitting in bed, Jackson managed to block it without waking him up. Reaching over with his left hand, he traced a finger across JB's face and in response, JB shifted in his sleep and groggily opened his eyes._ **

**_Jackson smiled. "Hey."_ **

**_Looking up at Jackson, JB's face was covered by his shadow but slowly, he shifted a bit more, and sat up, rising in the sun. He still looked sleepy but Jackson thought it was the best look on him. He reached out a hand and brought JB's lips closer to his and kissed him. When he pulled away, JB's eyes were much more awake than they were a few seconds before._ **

**_"Sorry." Jackson said in response. "I couldn't help it."_ **

**_He smiled apologetically, but JB only stared at him. His eyes were wide and disconcerting and Jackson felt a foreboding emotion enter his stomach.  He didn’t know why but he didn’t want this moment to break. He wanted the two of them to stay frozen forever because whatever came next was not going to be good, he just knew it. Unfortunately, dreams don’t always come true and the next three words that came out of JB’s mouth were what destroyed him._ **

**_"I love Jinyoung."_ **

**_Jackson's heart stopped in his chest._ **

  
  


**Scene 5**

"You came to me two days before your wedding telling me it was over...and still got married two days afterwards."

"I made a mistake." JB resumes.

"I remember." Jackson replies, his voice quiet as he tries to hide a variety of emotions. "How long have you known?"

"The doctor just told me."

"So you never knew?"

"It never even occurred to me that Bam Bam could be yours because...because he just couldn't be."

"You didn't find it strange how quickly you got pregnant after you got married?"

"Jackson."

Jackson looks up, hearing his name said in a desperate tone, to find JB’s eyes boring into him. His eyes were clinging to him, and their gaze contracted around Jackson's gut.

"I don't know what to do.” JB breathes out, “I don't know how to process this information.”

Jackson stares at JB for the longest time as something...a feeling comes sneaking up inside him. He wants to ignore it but it continues to grow. He tries to keep his voice level. 

"Have you told Jinyoung yet?" He half mumbles.

JB shakes his head before placing his head in his hands and letting out an unnaturally large sigh. 

There are moments, when you're in a difficult situation, where you struggle to keep feelings at bay. Like the emotional wheel in your body is jammed and water like emotions are pouring out and it takes the transformation of your heart into pure stone to stop them. You can't be allowed to feel them now or nothing will get done. You have to steel yourself...and that was what Jackson was trying to do now. Something he knew JB had always done and always would do until moments like this arose. Forcing out feelings made shock even harder to cope with and JB wasn’t coping well…he could see it; he could feel it…so it had to be his turn. He had to take the wheel; take control and place himself and JB on a path that would be permanent and mark them forever. He had to do it...for JB...and for himself as well; for the first time in a long time, he was finally thinking of himself. 

"Don't tell him."

"What?" JB looks up from his hands in confusion.

"Don't tell Jinyoung.”

"What do you mean don't tell Jinyoung? I have to tell him."

Jackson sighs, taking a breath to look away. "You know what will happen if you tell Jinyoung. We both know."

"Jackson-"

"And we both know how much you love that judgemental, sarcastic piece of ass." Jackson laughs, his own words hurtful but coming from a place where he held his own pain. "He'll leave you if you tell him, won't he?"

JB stares at Jackson, lost and confused. Jackson found it difficult to look him in the eyes but he forced himself too. He had to be strong, if not for himself, for him.

"As much as it is his right to know, he raised Bam Bam. He is Bam Bam's dad and there is nothing I can do, or want to do, to change that. So don't tell him. And don't tell Bam Bam either. Don't make their lives any harder than they need to be."

"Jackson. I can't just leave this how it is. I'd be lying to him. Plus, even if I don't tell him, Youngjae will.'

"Youngjae?"

"He knows."

Jackson nods. "Let me deal with youngjae."

"What do you mean ‘deal with him’, what are you talking about?"

"I can make this right." His words sound like he's saying them to himself. 

"Jackson-" but Jackson puts a finger over his best friend's lips. 

"Let me do this. Let me do it before I make a mistake and beg for something that is never going to happen."

JB is silent but his eyes are wide with distress and uncertainty as he follows Jackson's words.

"I..." Jackson struggles, the sentence stuck in his throat. "I have to let you go."

JB's eyebrows go up.

"I always thought that I had. Over and over again, I thought I'd let you go and over and over again, I'd find out that I was wrong. You've been a part of my life for such a long time, but now I need to-"

"No." JB pushes Jackson's hand away as soon as he catches on. 

"JB let me do this-"

"No. No!" JB’s face is pained as he tries to push all of Jackson’s words away. "You said you'd always be here for me. You promised you'd always be here!"

"I will be.” Jackson tries to calm him down. “My promise still stands. I will always be here for you, only it'll be here instead." He uses one hand to place his palm on JB's heart only forcing tears to begin forming in JB's eyes. He continues on. "I have to do this. If you choose to tell Jinyoung, the truth I can't be here. I can’t have that temptation or the possibility-”

“Temptation? Possibility?”

“Of us!” Jackson steps back and swings his hands out beside him. “Jinyoung will leave you! We both know it. He won’t be able to think straight and when that happens...I’ll see you, I’ll want you and what happened sixteen years ago will happen again and I’ll be the one to get hurt, only-” He stops mid rant to look at JB; soft, selfless and kind-hearted JB. “I’ll just stick around to get hurt again because I love you.”

“...Jackson.”

“I lie to myself and say that I don’t and tell your husband that I don’t but I do and it has to stop. It  **has** too.”

“Jackson-” JB steps forward and brings Jackson back towards him.

“Jaebum-” But his words are crushed by JB bringing him in for a hug. He holds onto him so tightly that Jackson feels like he might be stuck there forever. 

“I know I’m selfish when it comes to you,” JB whispers, his voice begging, “but I need you here. You’re my best friend and I need you by my side. There are so many things that I can’t say to Jinyoung that I can say to you. I can't tell him about the dark places in my heart. You being around me changes my perspective. You help me recharge. We’ve been through so much together and I just can’t… you can’t go. You’ve always been...”

“Yours.” Jackson steels his heart and drops his arms. Taking a deep breath he holds back the tears he knows will come if he loses focus and pushes out his next words. “I’ve always been yours.”

“What?”

“I belong to you and you belong to Jinyoung.” Breaking away, he looks at JB’s face once again. He reaches up with both hands and cups JB’s face on both sides. “You were never mine.”

A tear falls from JB’s eye and it wrenches Jackson’s heart. “I’m sorry.”

“God, don’t apologise.” Jackson laughs, wiping the tear away. 

“I want you to be happy too.”

“Then let me go find my happiness. Let me go find my happiness by not destroying yours.”

JB blinks out more tears but nods his head, looking down towards the floor. 

“Now that you’ve told me about it though, that kid is a lot like me isn’t he?” Jackson laughs, wiping away more of JB’s tears. 

“Crazy?”

Jackson laughs louder. “You think I’m crazy?”

“You’ve had a scheme or two.”

“I can admit to that.”

“You’re both blonde too for god’s sake.” JB smiles sadly as well. “I should have noticed.” 

“Well, he only got blonde later in life. It’s not your fault.” 

The two lean against each other with identically sad faces until Jackson leans up and kisses JB on the cheek. 

“Like I said,” Jackson continues. “I will always be beside you.” His hand slides down to JB’s arms and he reaches his fingers to hold his hand. “But I’m going to go now.”

A couple more tears steal their way down JB’s face. “Okay.”

“You have to rely on Jinyoung, not me okay?"

JB nods for the final time.

I’ll sort things out with Youngjae and then...I’m out.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next episode is the final episode ❤❤❤


	33. Final Episode

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is guys, the final Episode...😔

**Scene 1 -**

 

Jinyoung steps out of the elevator for the second time and makes his way back to Bam Bam’s room. The kids had woken up since Jackson and he had gotten there and Yugyeom was currently fighting his older brother on some app the two were playing on. Youngjae was leaning against the wall near the doorway and stood up straight when he saw Jinyoung come in; he’d been biting his nails.

“Where’s JB?” he asks.

“Talking to Jackson.”

“Oh.” Youngjae nods his head and leans back in his space, continuing to nod his head up and down awkwardly. Jinyoung stares at his friend, mildly confused. “He’s talking to Jackson.” He whispers. 

Looking away from Youngjae for a second, Jinyoung stares at his two sons, both of them content and stuck in their own little worlds. He was hurt that Bam Bam hadn’t shared his pain with his parents but he was glad, proud even that he had a brother he could share other things with. He wanted to know if JB and Mark had made up so that he could be sure they had this too. 

Feeling that his kids were alright at least, he steps closer to Youngjae and out of nowhere, grabs him by the arm and drags him out of the room. His friend practically windmills out, his body flailing and unprepared to be dragged. They get to the other end of the hallway before Jinyoung stops.

“What’s going on?” he asks.

“What do you mean what’s going on?” Youngjae replies, jittering.

“Did something happen?”

Youngjae shrugs. “What happened? Why would you think something happened?”

“Well, JB looks like he’s about to collapse upstairs but there’s also the fact that you look like a coffee addict.”  
“What?”

“You won’t stop shaking.” Jinyoung tugs on Youngjae’s arm to make a point; he still has his fingers next to his mouth and his leg is shaking with no clear intention of stopping. “You haven’t shaken this much since you struggled not to tell me you were dating my sister.” Jinyoung eyes him. “You have a secret.”

“I don’t have a secret and that was a specific situation because at the time I didn’t know she was your sister and she said you’d kill me if you found out and then we broke up and that was such an awkward time for me, Jinyoung I love you.” He propels out in a rush.

Jinyoung shakes his head, pretending to be annoyed but ends up consolingly hitting Youngjae on the shoulder. “Come on, tell me what’s up. I’m worried. Does it have something to do with JB?”

Youngjae sighs and finally manages to stop shaking, but holds on to his arm really tight. “It’s not my secret to tell.”

Jinyoung’s eyes come into serious focus. “You definitely have to tell me now.” Youngjae groans and lets his body fall forward as if he’s in pain. Jinyoung watches him. “See. Your body can’t deal with big secrets. Does it have something to do with Mark?”

Youngjae shakes his head.

“Then what? What has you looking like this and him looking like that?”

Youngjae grips his stomach and looks up at Jinyoung. “I really can’t say.”

Jinyoung leans down, closing in on Youngjae’s face, eyes widening as he speaks. “If Jackson comes down here knowing more about my husband than I do, I will personally blame you for my distress.”

Youngjae leans back up and sighs, still holding his stomach. “I wasn’t supposed to overhear this.”

“What, Youngjae?” 

“Jackson is a kidney match for Bam Bam.”

“What?”

“Mark is too, but Jackson is...one as well.”

“Well,” Jinyoung smiles, confused, “that’s good isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is.” Youngjae smiles. “See? Nothing happened. Nothing to worry about.” His smile is as panicked as a penguin in front of a sea lion. Jinyoung walks in front of him and pins him to the wall.

“There’s more isn’t there?”

Youngjae winces. “Jinyoung, come on.”

“I can’t-”

Jinyoung moves his hands to either side of Youngjae’s body. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“That me and Bam Bam share DNA.” A voice calls out from behind them and Jinyoung turns around to see Jackson standing there. He lets Youngjae go to turn in Jackson’s direction. 

“What?”

Youngjae, having partly recovered from his experience, steps out in front of Jinyoung to stare down Jackson. “Jackson,” he begins, voice pitched in a way that sounds as if he wants to avoid something. “Come on, don’t do this here.”

“I wasn’t going to. I was going to stop you, but you’ve already spilled too much so I guess I’ll face up to it myself.”

“Youngjae-” Jinyoung tries to get into the conversation but fails once more as Youngjae takes the forefront.

“Don’t, Jackson. Just don’t.”

Jackson bypasses Youngjae’s warning and steps closer to the duo, his face reserved to whatever fate his words bring him. “What Youngjae isn’t telling you is that neither you or JB’s kidney’s were viable matches for Bam Bam. Only a parent can be a match, and your not Bam Bam’s parent. My kidney matches because I am ...because Bam Bam is my son...not yours.” 

It was blunt and to the point, which was very Jackson, and luckily it managed to floor Jinyoung for a few seconds. 

“Jesus Christ, Jackson.” Youngjae whispers, grabbing his hair with both hands and walking off to the side.

Jackson continues to ignore him to look unwaveringly at Jinyoung. “I wasn’t going to tell you. I was just going to walk away from this whole situation but now this has happened  and we have to get a couple things straight.”

“Get a couple things straight?” Jinyoung’s anger finally catches up to him. “What the fuck Jackson! You come down here and tell me that my son is yours and all of a sudden you’re in charge?”

“I knew you’d be angry, but I’d rather you get angry at me than get angry at JB.”

Jinyoung’s eyes widen upon hearing this. His voice loses a fraction of it’s volume. “You’re protecting him?”

“I’m protecting him because this isn’t his fault. It’s mine.”

Jinyoung strides forward. “Everything is your fault!” Youngjae comes back into the fray just in time to hold him back, rage pouring out of Jinyoung in droves, his friend struggling to hold him back. “Everything is always your fault!”

“Jinyoung calm down.” Youngjae huffs. 

“No!” Jinyoung tries to throw him off but struggles, not as coordinated due to shock and anger.

Jackson sighs and looks at the wall, the picture of calm. “Look, I'm not here to lord this over you. I didn’t want a reaction or the satisfaction of telling you this to your face.”

“Then what did you want! What the hell are you here for?”

Jackson’s eyes lazily find their way back to Jinyoung’s. “I’m here to ask you for something.”

“What!”

Jackson closes his eyes, as if he’s finding the will to say his next words and this makes Jinyoung pause. When Jackson reopens his eyes, they’re sombre and the colour of lead.

“I’m here to ask you not to leave your husband.” 

 

**Scene 2 -**

 

Jinyoung and Jackson now sit in a patient waiting area, farther away from where they were before. Youngjae observes from the opposite seat, not speaking but there to make sure neither of them kill each other. 

“You know how much JB loves you.” Jackson begins, voice small. “Don’t leave him because of this.”

Jinyoung doesn’t answer.

“You’re thinking that if you do, he’ll come straight to me, but he won’t. He won’t want me. He’ll want you.”

“He cheated on me.”

Jackson shakes his head, “No. No he didn’t.”

“Yes he did! And everything makes sense now. The way he was acting, the fight we had all those years ago.”

“How was he acting?”

“He wouldn’t touch me before we got married. He could barely look at me, but now I know that that was because he was sparing your feelings. You were the one he was seeing but the one he couldn’t bring himself to break up with me for! I had to do it myself! We fought with each other because he was sleeping with you!”

“And you know what he did after he slept with me? He broke my heart!”

There’s a heated silence before Jackson continues.

“I thought I had a chance with JB that night. You two had broken up and it looked like it had been harsh, and I can’t blame myself for having hope, but you know what he said? The minute he woke up in my arms and I kissed him good morning. He said the words, ‘I love Jinyoung’, and he married you a day later.”

 Jinyoung pauses, hearing this.

“And what happened after he left me, you went back to him. You found him in his apartment and what did you say? Do you remember? If you don’t, he told me, and I remember the exact words.”

Jinyoung thought back through his memories, pushing back pride to recall everything he said to JB the day before they got married. 

“‘I want you’,” Jackson recited, bringing it to the forefront for him. “‘I want you even if you don’t want me. Even if you want someone else. I don’t want you to let me go and I’m glad that you can’t.’”

“So give us one more chance,” Jinyoung whispers, finishing it off. “And I’ll forgive you a thousand times...if you forgive me a thousand times more.”

Jackson nods. “You didn’t even know anything then.” Sighing, he places his hands in his lap and leans back. “I don’t know why JB was always so careful about my feelings. He knew how I felt but maybe if he was harsher about the realities, I could have moved on fast enough to be genuinely happy for him and have found some happiness myself. After what happened with Mark, we were surely over but instead, I lied to myself and kept getting jealous pangs in my heart whenever I saw you two together no matter what I did. I can’t apologise. I can’t change it, but the truth of the matter is, his love for you is stronger than any possibility of me could be. He’s forgiven you more times than either of us can count, and frankly sometimes even when you don’t deserve it, so why can’t you forgive him just this once? You’ve been together for years. Why throw away your relationship now?”

Jinyoung clings to the same argument. “You slept together. He cheated on me.”

“And you cheated on him.”

“What?”

“With Mark.”

“Nothing happened between me and Mark!”

“So you’re saying you haven’t kissed him?” 

“I admitted to that!”

“More than once?” Jackson raises a conclusive eyebrow.

Jinyoung stalls without meaning too.

“Did you forget? He came after me too. Mark isn’t a ‘kiss you once’ kind of guy. But the minute that happened, what did you choose every time?”

Jinyoung’s eyes shake. 

“You chose JB. You didn’t waver, you didn’t change your mind. You chose JB, over and over and over again.

“Whether you think me and him sleeping together is cheating is up to you, I can’t change your mind, but the fact of the matter is you  **broke up with him** . You weren’t together at the time. Right now, you and him still are. You and Mark were cheating far more than we were, and yet he still let you work with him.

“You know JB has a reason for doing everything he does, but he’s loyal and loves you and would never go out of his way to hurt you. To hurt anyone. You’ve consistently walked out on him the second trouble starts. That’s not how it’s supposed to be with JB, so don’t do it now. You think he’ll come to me but he won’t….because there’ll be no me to come too.”

After such a long speech, Jinyoung is shocked by this out of the blue admission. “Why not?”

“Because I’m leaving.”

“What?”

“I’m leaving.” Jackson repeats.

“Leaving?” Youngjae pipes up, leaning forward, having checked into the conversation. “Leaving where?”

“Here, Korea.”

Both Youngjae and Jinyoung stare at him in shock. 

“You’re leaving Korea?” Youngjae repeats.

“Yep.” Jackson turns to Jinyoung. “Now you see. We can’t both go.”

“What’s to stop JB from following you?” Jinyoung asks.

“JB isn’t going to leave Yugyeom and Bam Bam, his job, the company, or the life he’s spent the last few years building or you.” Jackson shakes his head. “He’ll never leave you.

“I asked him too though. Maybe more times than I’ll ever want to admit but I did and he never would. He hasn’t touched me since that day and I want you to believe me on that, so don’t leave him.”

Jinyoung stares at Jackson for a long while.

“Who are you to ask me not to leave my husband?”

“His friend. His best friend and nothing more.”

Jinyoung stares at him some more. 

Finally, out of the silence he sighs. “So, what am I supposed to do?”

“Act like you don’t know, or say that you do, I don’t care just...stay with him.”

Jinyoung shakes his head, scowling. “I hate you. I hate how much of a good friend you are to him. I hate that you have all these answers and good ideas and know how to handle him when I don’t.”

“Hate me all you want, but I’m not the one married to him. I’m not the one he chose.”

Jinyoung sits back and processes all this information for the longest time. Then some questions come out of his mouth just by pure curiosity. “How could you bring yourself to come to me about this?”

Jackson rubs the back of his neck. “It was a natural thing.”

“I may hate you, but you...you’re a lot stronger than I would have thought.”

Jackson smiles and nods his head. “I’m stronger than I would have thought too.”

“You really don’t want to be in Bam Bam’s life?”

“I’m already in his life, how much more in his life should I be? I have a kidney if he needs one.”

“You don’t want to be his father?”

“You raised him. You’re his father.”

Jinyoung stares at Jackson. He thinks about the times when he wasn’t just JB’s friend but Jinyoung’s own and how all of them, including Youngjae and Mark, were always apart of each other’s lives. Somewhere along the way, things got twisted and there really wasn’t one singular person to blame; they’d all had their share of trouble. Jinyoung knew he wouldn't be able to forget about the new information he’d heard today but Jackson’s words had gotten to him and he couldn’t deny the truth, as much as he wanted to ignore everything Jackson said. JB had always forgiven him, now it was his turn. It wouldn’t be a perfect fix, but he had to try.

Jackson stood up while Jinyoung was stuck in his thoughts and he looks up shocked. 

“You’re going now?”

Jackson nods and Youngjae stands up with him. “Bro…”

Jackson hugs him tightly, clapping his back and breaking away with a sad smile. “I’ll miss you. Don’t get into any more trouble while I’m gone okay?”

Youngjae nods and Jackson turns back to Jinyoung. Jinyoung immediately shakes his head, not up for a frank good-bye. “Say goodbye to the kids first.”

Jackson nods. 

 

**Scene 3 -**

 

JB lingers in the corner of Bam Bam’s hospital room when the door opens. Youngjae comes through first, sees JB and gives him an apologetic smile JB can’t interpret. Then Jinyoung enters and JB’s entire body tightens. Jinyoung’s eyes fly straight to him, but he looks hesitant to come over. Then Jackson comes through the door. 

He has a grin on his face as he approaches Bam Bam’s hospital bed and claps a hand on the kid’s shoulder. JB watches them with a mixture of softness and surprise. There were so many similarities between them now that he knew the truth and they were standing side by side; their blonde hair being a major similarity. It always confused him that Bam Bam had turned out fairer than his brother, but now he knew why. They also had the same smile and as Jackson reached down to hug who was now his son, there was a different feeling to it. There was no more of that joking distaste he usually had, but more of a sobering kinship and responsibility. When he let go, he let out a sigh and shook his shoulders, smiling again. 

“Well, I got to go guys.” Jackson announces, and Yugyeom makes a sad face in response. 

“Do you have too?” He asks.

Jackson nods. “I gotta. I’ll see you guys soon though.” He smiles one last time and turns back towards the door. Youngjae goes to follow him and so does Jinyoung, but he looks in JB’s direction and motions for him to follow.

Walking through the door, it closes behind him and the four of them walk in silence towards the elevator where Jackson presses the down button. Turning, he looks at all of them one by one before landing on JB. 

“I tried to fix it,” he explains, nodding in Jinyoung’s direction, “but I don’t know if it went to plan.” 

JB smiles and shrugs. Jinyoung isn’t looking at any of them but JB feels Jinyoung’s fingers enclose around his hand. There’s reassurance in that and it’s all that keeps JB standing; he hadn’t lost him.

“Tell us where you are when you get there, okay?” Youngjae tells Jackson when there’s a ding from the elevator. The doors open and Jackson nods his head. 

“Gotta know where my kidneys are at all times.” He jokes, but nobody laughs. He steps into the elevator and turns around to press the button for the ground floor. JB smiles at him, holding back any words that might make the situation more hopeless than it already was. Instead he stares into his best friend’s eyes and hopes for his happiness with all his might, while holding onto his lover’s hand tightly. 

Jackson brings up a hand and waves just before the elevator doors close. 

As they listen to the sound of the elevator making its way down, Jinyoung turns his head to JB and rests it on his shoulder, his chin almost falling into the crick of his neck. 

“Shall we talk?” He whispers and JB nods. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THERE WILL BE AN EPILOGUE!!


	34. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I thought I’d bring scene titles back for the epilogue. Sorry if there are any grammatical errors, but come on guys, it's the last one 😘

 

**Two Years Later**

 

**Scene 1- The Home Front**

 

Mark stands in the kitchen frying eggs when a fluffy four legged disturbance starts circling around his legs. He looks down carefully and smiles while pretending to be annoyed. 

“I just fed you. Can I eat now please?”

“Coco!” Youngjae steps down the stairs and bends over as he runs to sweep the small dog off of her feet. Mark watches as he lifts her up and kisses her face for a second and smiles to himself. “Let Mark cook.”

"When we adopted her, I didn't realise she'd be so clingy."

 "She just loves you." Youngjae replies nestling close to her neck.

Mark sighs but smiles. “I got eggs for you too,” he adds. 

Youngjae nods but is preoccupied with Coco while heading across the kitchen towards the couch. 

“Is Yugyeom coming down?” Mark calls out after him.

Distracted, Youngjae manages to answer. “I didn’t see him.”

“I want him to call…” Mark mumbles, not expecting Youngjae to hear. 

“You can call your brother yourself you know,” he calls, collapsing on the couch with Coco in his arms, “you don’t need your nephew as an excuse. Yugyeom does it all the time."

"His brother is in China." Mark grumbles in reply.

"And yours is in Australia? What's the difference?"

Mark turns from the stove, ready to defend himself but sees his nephew bounding down the stairs, stopping his answer. 

“Morning!” Yugyeom calls out, his bright smile dispelling anything Mark was about to say. 

“Hey, Yugyeom.” Youngjae calls out, giving him a small smile and finally looking away from Coco.

“Hey, Yugyeom.” Mark says as well, taking his eggs off of the stove. “You hungry?”

Yugyeom shakes his head and grabs some grapes from the fridge. “I’m okay.”

Mark nods and serves up the eggs for himself and Youngjae. He tries to stay quiet for as long as possible but as soon as he gets close Youngjae, he gets wide pressurising eyes. Placing a plate in front of him, he tries to speak nonchalantly to his nephew under the mounting intimidation.

“Have you talked to your parents lately?"

Yugyeom smiles, shaking his shoulders, continuing to chomp on his fruit, tall stance comfortable next to the kitchen counter. "Uncle Mark we called them two nights ago."

"Right." Mark's replies. Youngjae’s eyes still follow him from the couch as he sits opposite. He reluctantly finds something else to say. "But have you told them about the black out we had."

"They're on vacation. Why do I have to tell them about the blackout?"

"’Cause we're house-sitting for them. I don't want to be blamed for something that happened to the whole neighborhood."

"They read the news. They'll surely have heard about it and if they were worried they would have brought it up the other night." Yugyeom looks at his Godfather for help. "Why is uncle Mark being so weird?"

"He misses his brother but he’s too proud to say it."

"No I'm not!" Everyone but Mark laughs. 

"Just call him then," Youngjae goads. "He won't mind."

"But he's with Jinyoung. They need some space "

"Then don't call.” Youngjae shrugs, “It's up to you."

Mark hated that both of them were shoving logic, reasoning, and options into his face. They were right, he was being stubborn but his and JB’s relationship had just gone through a metamorphosis; despite two years passing, with some hiccups here and there, he was still hesitant with his brother. Jinyoung made it harder. He really didn’t want to jeopardize anything there either...

"Oh look…" Mark turns to Youngjae, shaken out of his thoughts, and sees his phone in his hand. "Coco accidentally dialled JB's number. Whatever shall we do?"

"Youngjae!"

Youngjae shrugs and throws the phone to Mark who catches it. 

Youngjae raises an eyebrow. "Just talk to him. I gave you a better excuse than the one you wanted to use. It's getting old." 

 

**Scene 2- Australia**

 

JB looks down at the beach and watches the ocean rile for a couple of minutes. The ocean breeze hits him in the face and his hair flies black; he’d been growing it out for a couple months but he was thinking he should really get it cut before he headed back to Korea. He felt fingers reach out for the nape of his neck and he turned to see Jinyoung, coming to lean over the balcony of their summer home with him. 

“Why am I always finding you outside?” Jinyoung smiles, squeezing JB’s neck.

“The morning breeze here is amazing.” JB smiles, turning to sit on the balcony instead, closing his eyes to fully engross himself in the sound of the wind. "And the view…” he points behind him, “it never gets old." 

"Does it remind you of your mom?”

JB opens his eyes and squints, the sun shining right into his eyes. “Yeah.”

“I wish I could have met her.”

JB smiles and shields his eyes to turn to his husband. “She would have liked you.”

“More than Jackson?”

JB outright laughs and throws his arm around Jinyoung as he turns back again. “Yes, more than Jackson.”

“He called you this morning by the way.”

“Who? Jackson?”

Jinyoung nods. “But you were asleep, so I didn’t want to wake you.”

“Did you talk to him?”

Jinyoung shakes his head. “I just muted your phone, it was three in the morning.”

“That’s like one in the morning for him, why would he be calling-” Just as he spoke, JB's phone buzzed in his pocket. He took it out, expecting to see Jackson's name, but instead finds that it's Youngjae's number showing up instead. 

“Who is it?" Jinyoung asks.

"Youngjae."

"But we talked to him the other night…"

"I know." JB replies, answering the phone and putting it to his ear. "Youngjae?" He addresses the other end but it's a while before there's a reply. 

"No...it's Mark…"

"Oh." JB arches his eyebrows for a second, smiling while allowing himself to awkwardly adjust. "Hey...bro."

Mark laughs nervously too. "Hey, bro."

JB puts his hand in his pocket and faces the full view of the ocean. "What's up? Why are you on Youngjae's phone?"

"Well...um...youngjae left his phone on the couch and Coco called you by mistake."

"Oh right," JB nods, “I see."

"Sorry about that."

"That's okay."

There's a short silence between them both where JB waits for Mark to say something else or even end the call. When he doesn't he takes a deep breath.

"Well, Mark…"

"I wanted to ask you something." His brother interjects before he gets too far.

"Oh?"

There’s a bit of shuffling on the other end, and there sounds like a doors closing before Mark comes in again. "Have you seen it yet?"

JB is oblivious. "Seen what?"

"The invitation."

"What invitation?"

Mark takes a deep breath on the other side and there’s silence for a few seconds. "The wedding invitation..."

“Wedding invitation?”

“...from Jackson.”

JB jerks when he hears this, having crossed his legs ann nearly tripping himself. "Wedding invitation? From Jackson?" Jinyoung is watching intently from beside him at this point. 

"Yeah.” Mark continues. “I didn't know if you got it-"

"Well I’m a bit surprised, so you can assume I haven’t got it! Maybe it was sent to the house...haven’t you seen it?"

"He knows you're in Australia, bro, maybe it's just taking a while."

JB's mind windmilled. Jackson was getting married. He was getting MARRIED.

"Well,” Mark resumes, “I just wondered if you'd seen the invitation but I guess you'll be back soon and we'll find out."

"I guess we will…" JB's voice gives out and he puts a hand on his hip as he tries to process everything. 

"I guess…” Mark fumbles over his words, “I guess I'll hang up now."

"Yeah.” JB nods, face seriously perplexed from the news. “I'll talk to you later."

He's about to hang up when Mark says something else. "Wait!"

"What is it?"

"...Miss you big bro."

Despite the shocking news, JB's heart warms and he smiles shyly. "I miss you too." After that, JB hangs up the phone and slowly leans back over the balcony. 

"Who do you miss?" Jinyoung whispers, coming close to his ear. JB shivers and nudges him away with one of his big shoulders.

"Mark."

"That's cute." Jinyoung squeezes his arm and leans over. "So Jackson is getting married?”

JB nods. "I guess he is."

 

 **Scene** **3- China**

 

Jackson throws his keys in the air and catches them flawlessly as he makes his way through the house. His first house. The one he had officially finished moving into as of two seconds ago. He stares out of a wide window overlooking the city and smiles. His serenity is broken by a rather unwelcome voice.

"Yo, dad!"

He turns and sees blonde hair coming through the door. "I told you not to call me that,” he replies, turning back to the view. 

"Yo, kidney dad." Bam Bam smiles, coming up behind him and resting his long arm over Jackson's shoulders. "You know I'm joking."

Jackson movesand in a quick second he has his arm around Bam Bam's neck. "Joke all you want,” he adds, smiling, “but it won't save you from pain."

Bam Bam struggles for a while before going limp, his 18 year old body pulling them both to the floor.

"Are you guys messing up the brand new floor we just got finished putting into our new house on the day we finish moving into it?" A voice calls out as the porch door opens. 

Jackson and Bam Bam look up to see Joohoen making his way in. He smiles at them, playful rather than truly angry. 

"Jooheon…" Jackson stares at him from the ground before shaking Bam Bam off and standing up. "I thought you were at work all day?"

"I am. I came back for my lunch." He gives the two a soft eye smile as he opens the fridge. "I left it here."

"I could have brought it to you." Jackson replies following behind him.

"Even though you're both out of the hospital, you shouldn't be over exerting yourselves for no reason. I have a car."

Joohoen barrels past them, shaking his head. He walks with purpose but halts abruptly in front of Jackson and leans in his direction. 

"Kiss." He orders, dimples deepening as he smiles. Jackson obliges by kissing him on the cheek. Joohoen smiles brightly, blowing a kiss back in Jackson’s direction before making his way back out of the door. "See you tonight."

Jackson smiles after him and then blushes before looking to the floor...where Bam Bam is still lying. 

“You’ve fallen so hard for him.” Bam calls up to him, grinning. 

“And yet you’re the one on the floor.”

Bam Bam jumps up and follows Jackson as he goes to sit in the living room. He sits in an armchair as Bam props his long legs on the couch. “Have you called my dad back yet?”

Jackson rubs his face with one hand and leans back in the chair. “No.”

“Well you should.”

“How do I explain calling him at one am...or three am for him?”

“You were drunk.”

“I can’t say that!” He shouts, sitting up.

Bam Bam shrugs, “But it’s the truth.”

Jackson shakes his head. “I’ll just have to wait for him to get the invitation like everybody else.”

“I could just call him.” Bam suggests. “He hasn’t called to check up on me in a while.”

“Well...” Jackson purses his lips, “that was the agreement.”

Bam Bam nodded and Jackson thought back the conversation he and JB had in the hospital after the operation. 

**_“He wants to stay with you.” JB explained._ **

**_“What?” Jackson was still groggy, his operation having only been a couple hours before._ **

**_“Bam. He wants to stay here, in China, with you.”_ **

**_Jackson’s eyebrows arch as he forced himself to sit up, albeit slowly. “But why?”_ **

**_“‘Cause the jig’s up; he wants to get to know his father.”_ **

**_Jackson shook his head. “But he knows me. I’m Jackson- just Jackson. Occasionally Jackson-ahjussi but nothing else. I’m his dad’s best friend and I gave him a kidney…”_ **

**_“He doesn’t know you as his dad though-”_ **

**_“I don’t want him to know me as his dad-” Jackson closed his eyes and sighed. “Things weren’t supposed to go like this.”_ **

**_“You know the minute he moved here for school he’d be snooping...and when he had to get checked into the hospital.” JB breathed heavily. “I’m glad you were here, but since you were the only available donor at the time, he was bound to find out. Blame the Doctor who slipped up and just assumed...but it’s out in the open now and this is what he wants to do.”_ **

**_“But Jinyoung is his dad-”_ **

**_“He knows that. They’re talking right now.” JB bit his lip. “I’m worried...about Jinyoung handling this but Bam loves him. I don’t like stating favourites, but Jinyoung is his favourite out of us two. Their relationship is strong because he knows who his dad is, so I couldn’t deny him this.”_ **

**_Jackson stayed silent before speaking for a while. “What if I say no?”_ **

**_JB shook his head. “I mean… he’s going to school here. What are you going to do? Ignore him? You can’t, he’ll just stick to you like glue and you know it.”_ **

**_Jackson nodded, knowing what JB said was true. “So...what?”_ **

**_JB shrugged. “Spend time with him. Just act with him like you always have and I’ll stay...out of it.”_ **

**_“What? Why?” Desperation grew in Jackson’s eyes. “You can’t stay?”_ **

**_“I feel like me being too buddy with you and Bam will put a rift between me and Jinyoung and...we know how much I don’t want to deal with that...again.” JB clenches and unclenches his fists. “Look, I trust you with my kid… our kid. Just look out for him, give him what he needs.”_ **

**_“I can’t be his dad!”_ **

**_“I’m not asking you to be his dad! Just be there for him. Answer his questions. Be...his friend. He just wants to feel closer to you. Can you do that?”_ **

**_Jackson sat with his thoughts for a couple seconds but already knew he was going to do it, so he nodded._** ** _  
_****_JB smiled. “Thank you.”_**

Jackson had done his best to do that, and it had gotten him cemented into Bam Bam’s life, but a little separated from the other’s; and by others, he meant JB. He thought that ‘taking care’ of their son would bring them closer together, but it had managed to put more space between them. It was ultimately what Jackson wanted, but in his heart, it was very difficult to put into practice, as well as cope with. Bam Bam however was sort of a blessing. He brought other people into Jackson’s life...Jooheon being the perfect example. 

Jooheon was their recovery doctor. They met after the surgeries had ended and he was in charge of checking up on them every now and again...but he had connected with Jackson...and by connecting, he kind of grew to have a crush on him. Jackson didn’t notice for weeks, until Bam Bam himself pointed it out. They’d been called into his office about three times in the same week and, after a call with Jinyoung, they found out that that was not normal, or necessary. Instead of thinking of it as complementary, Jackson got angry and confronted the Doctor who managed to stand his ground and ultimately confess to his crush. In the end, he ended up asking Jackson on a date...and now, of course, they were getting married.

Jackson had been upfront about the fact that he’d just come out of the most complicated of relationships, a non-existent one, but Jooheon didn’t care. He did his best to make Jackson happy. He distracted him…and he made him pay attention. Not only did he worm his way into Jackson’s life, but he got on really well with Bam Bam as well. Jackson had told him the whole story without even realising it one day and he’d been completely understanding...and all of a sudden, JB was exiting his heart,  **for real this time.**

That’s why he hesitated in calling him now. If JB knew...there was bound to be a reaction but if he didn’t know...he’d be forced to tell him and that...that was…he was scared. Scared that all the work he’d put in would come undone. He trusted his feelings, but he also knew the past...it was scary...and long.

His phone rang aloud from where it lay on the coffee table. Both he and Bam Bam move to look at it but Bam Bam’s smile was enough for him to know who it was before he saw it himself. 

“It’s hiiiim.” He sings.

“Yes, yes, Bam Bam thank you.” Jackson sneers, grabbing the phone up harshly but halting in answering it.

“Do you want me to go?”

“Actually, yeah I would.”

Bam Bam raises his hands in surrender before rising from the couch and making himself scarce. “Tell him  **I’m** fine.”

Jackson ignores Bam Bam’s words and stares at the phone for a few seconds. He clenches it in both hands and takes a deep breath. Then he brings it up to his ear.

“Hello?”

“You’re getting married?” JB’s voice is shocked; at least he knew.

Jackson sighs in relief. “So you got the invitation.”

“No, I didn’t get any invitation. Mark told me.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. I just got off the phone with him.  **He** got  **his** invitation.” 

“It’s not my fault you’re in Australia.”

JB huffs, and there’s a distinct strong wind in the background. “The mail service is great in Australia.”

“This is not my fault.”

“I just wanted you to tell me.” JB mumbles, losing his surprise and annoyance to sound more sad. “I wanted to be happy for you.”

Jackson can’t help a small amount of fear that grows in his chest. “You wanted to be happy for me? Are you not happy for me now?”

JB’s whole voice changes, and there’s distinct joy in his next words. “Well of course I am! You’re getting married. I didn’t even know you were dating, but I don’t care! Who is it?”

JB’s positive reaction made it over to Jackson and he felt his heart settle down. He was okay and because of that, he comfortably stands and makes his way over to his window, staring again at the view. “Well...he’s a doctor.”

“Damn. Big Upgrade.”

“Necessary upgrade. Especially when the last model was a crazy, manipulative, slightly abusive, girlfriend.”

“I’m glad you found someone.” JB adds. “Jinyoung and I are super happy for you.”

“So, you’re coming to the wedding?”

“Of course I am!”

“Let’s not sleep together this time, eh?” Jackson jokes. There’s a distinct lack of laughter from the other end.

“Not appropriate, Jack.”

“What is our tumultuous past if we can’t laugh about it?” Jackson confidently recounts.

Despite the seriousness of his tone, Jackson can hear JB chuckling from the other end. There was no longing in his heart. He just smiled and rejoiced in finally having a conversation with his best friend after so long.  

“So when can I meet the Doctor? Is he there with you now?”

“No, he's at work but you’ll be able to see him soon. We’re coming to Korea.”

“Oh, really.”

“I want to get Bam Bam off my back.”

There’s loud laughter from the other end now. “He bothering you already?”

“I lasted longer than I thought, but I need a break. Surely Yugyeom misses him right? Let them reunite long enough to bother each other instead.”

“Yugyeom is actually doing okay. His band...they’re good.”

“Oh, really?”

“Like really good. He showed me a song the other day and I was… I was just so proud. His girlfriend and him...they write good.”

“Girlfriend?” Jackson pretends to be shocked.

“Yeah. All these couples are coming out into the open apparently.” 

“Ha! Speaking of new couples...how are Mark and Youngjae?”

“Hmmm.” JB sounds speculative. “I don’t think they’re going to last.”

“As roommates?” Now it’s Jackson’s turn to laugh. “Wow, that’s some serious negativity on your brother’s behalf!”

“They’re both so flaky.”

“JB, they got a dog together and they’ve been living in your house for about four weeks. Youngjae is good for him, and vice versa. Youngjae’s playboy days are finally over and Mark isn’t making any trouble.”

“At least there’s that.”

They talked for a little while longer and Jackson felt content. There was never any awkwardness between them, but new territory; equal territory. Now they were definitely both friends and they’d never break apart from that again.

 

**Scene 4 - And JJP?**

 

Jinyoung looks up as JB walks back into the house and smiles when he collapses on the couch next to him. He smells of beach and is distinctly covered in dregs of sand. He reaches out to mess with his husband's long hair, his wedding ring lighting up in the afternoon sun. He’d talked to Jackson down by the beach.

“So,” Jinyoung asks, smiling sweetly, “who is it?”

“A doctor.”

“Oh wow. Dr. Wang, level up.”

JB shakes his head, smiling.

“And how’s Bam Bam?”

“Driving him up the wall apparently.”

Jinyoung nods, releasing JB and sitting back in the chair. JB sits up beside him and Jinyoung can feel his eyes boring into him.

“Have you talked to him?”

“I talk to him all the time.”

JB reaches for Jinyoung’s hand. “And you’re both good.”

Jinyoung nods. 

“You know you’re his only dad right?”

Jinyoung turns to him, smiling and nodding again. “I know.”

JB still doesn’t look any less concerned so Jinyoung opens his arms and gives JB a tight hug. “Don’t worry about us.” He tells him. “Bam couldn’t get rid of me if he tried.”

JB hugs him back. “I love you.” He feels him whisper into his ear.

“I love you too.” Jinyoung smiles, reaching up to play with JB’s hair again. “But you need to get this cut.”

JB pulls away, hurt. “What? You don’t like it?”

“Are you growing a mullet?”

JB looks away coyly. “Maybe..”

Jinyoung uses his fingers to pinch his husband’s cheek. “Don’t.”

“You don’t think I’d look good with one?”

“It’s not that, I just prefer…” Jinyoung trails off.

“What?” JB leans closer, eyes earnest. “You’d prefer what?”

They both stare at each other for a while and Jinyoung can’t help but smile, becoming shy. He looks away out the window, trying to hide his happiness in this moment.

“Nothing.” He says ultimately

“No, what?”

“I prefer you.” He says instead, placing a surprise kiss on JB’s nose. “Does that suffice?”

JB grins widely, teeth flashing. “I prefer you too.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this fanfiction everyone! I had a lot of fun planning it out and writing it! Please subscribe if you liked it cause I'm likely to write many more, about GOT7 and other groups as well, maybe more or less dramatic than this one. (For instance...Bam Bam is about to become a supernatural main character in his own love story...) Also...there's a prequel to Missing Eyesight reserved for Jinyoung and Youngjae in my mind. They were the only ones without a real history and I want to do a whole 'Hot Young Bloods' story for them 🤪😉 See you soon and thank you again!


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